Confession Booth

  • Thread starter ash6660
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I like the smell of my own farts.

OK, now before you go bananas, allow me to explain a little.

Sooo, what I originally said was not what this entire post will be about. But will be about farts.

First things first, I always smell my own farts. So do you. You smelt it on purpose? You dealt it on purpose! (So you could smell it! I know, you don't fart just so you can smell it, you gotta release that stuff...) It happens. Sometimes you squeeze them suckers in so tight because you are in a really bad situation, good decision. Sometimes they slip on out and you have nothing to do but blame it on anybody else, even if there is only one other person around. Or you could simply state that it was an accident, and laugh it out... well keep it in... you know what I mean!

Second things second, you can tolerate your own farts. After you take a little sniff from the purposeful hand you dealt, of course. This one does have some exceptions and rules I will get to in just a second. How often can you not tolerate your own fart? I know it doesn't happen that often. So to know if you can tolerate a fart or not, you obviously have to smell it. Now, I have not statistically tested this theory or not, but I would say that I can tolerate a good 75% of my own farts. Other people's farts? Hell no. I have never smelt another human beings fart that I could tolerate. And before you call me a weirdo, I DO NOT go around sniffing for puffs of stinky air. So your probably assuming that the other 25% are just too nasty for even myself to be able bear. You're wrong. That number is probably closer to 24%. I am not scientist, but I am positive that the 75% theory applies to everybody. To be honest, I think the number may even be higher. I just do not have the statistics for it.

Third things turd... urrr I mean third. Yeah. Thirds things third. The other 1% of my farts, I like them. Yup. You read that correctly. I LIKE THEM. Now, I also like the smell of skunk. I am not sure if people who like the smell of skunk can sometimes like their farts, or if it happens to everbody. This is very rare and probably not even 1%. I bet is much smaller, but for this post, its gonna have to do.

Overall, just wanted to get that out their. I feel like the first two situations are very common, yet nobody admits it. That's OK, you can admit it now because you are not alone. The third situation... uhhhh. That one might just be me.

Sometimes, the truth stinks. Even if you can accept it.
 
kolio
I like the smell of my own farts.
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Lucas
It's even better when a fart manages to scratch that itch. :D
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I am a human being so I also fart, but I don't do it on purpose, let alone smell it, it happens more often to me when nature is calling

  • I love discussing in real life but hate it on the internet.
  • I think the whole pro equality movements are formed by hypocritical people and the point of equality is missed in most cases.
 
Lucas
Same here, bro. It's even better when a fart manages to scratch that itch. :D
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Straight to the point. My man! :D

@AJHG1000 - That up there ^ kind of brings up a good point about farts too. Sometimes if you are sitting in the correct position, that pocket of air either goes forwards somewhere... or goes backwards and rolls right on up your back. :lol:
 
Most people like or tolerate the smell of their own farts while detesting the smell of other people's farts. There's a scientific reason for it.

Farts are always funny. And the worse they smell the better they are in public.
 
I once read a fart listing manual. There was one called a "Saddam Hussan" in which a nasty fart was released under the bed sheets and then the wife/girlfriend's head was held under the cover for full, unescapable exposure. :lol:
 
That's just mean :lol: (been there done that though)

I feel proud of my farts and the way they smell but sometimes their smell is so unbearable, even for myself.
 
CLowndes888
I find it satisfying when I poop. Getting all that 🤬 out is like big sigh of relief:lol:
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Good for you!

To piggyback off of that, I love getting a full clean sneeze out. Just letting it go. No hold back at all. And usually I like it coming out mostly through the mouth.

This is the confession booth: So I must admit that if I am outside and nobody is in my vicinity, I let all hell break loose throughout a mouth sneeze. For some reason, I clears me up greatly. It gives me a boost or something. I don't know, but it makes me feel better.
 
I'm writing one of my most bonkers short stories. At times I wonder what I'm getting into...and I love it.

TL;DR, using an old freeware wrestling booking sim to write on another message board about a backyard wrestling promotion where I invited other users to contribute characters. Some of the things I have to write for:
  • racist wrestling insects
  • Ozzy Osbourne tribute
  • Matrix wannabe
  • Short fat luchadore
  • NERD
  • Jesus. Yes, THAT Jesus. (Which may or may not be one of my characters)
 
Bo
I asked for this for Christmas once.

I received it.

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A Bratz limousine. I couldn't give a damn about the Bratz dolls, I just wanted a limo with stuff to put in it.
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My man!
 
I despise chocolate. Tastes like dirt to me. :yuck:
Also, huge boats such as ships, aircraft carriers, and pirate ships scare me. I know, I'm weird. :P
 
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Bo
I asked for this for Christmas once.

I received it.

d422747f41621ec9067c8b91b9219408.jpg


A Bratz limousine. I couldn't give a damn about the Bratz dolls, I just wanted a limo with stuff to put in it.
Click to expand...

images


My confession - I rarely stop at red lights.

While I'm ever vigilant and make sure no pedestrians or other vehicles will be bothered by my light jumping, there's really only a few junctions out of perhaps 20 that I actually stop at.

It's just such a waste of energy to scrub all that momentum just to have to build it up again. I'm not harming anyone or putting anyone in immediate danger so I don't feel bad about it plus I get to use the old excuse of "everyone else does it".
 
W3HS
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My confession - I rarely stop at red lights.

While I'm ever vigilant and make sure no pedestrians or other vehicles will be bothered by my light jumping, there's really only a few junctions out of perhaps 20 that I actually stop at.

It's just such a waste of energy to scrub all that momentum just to have to build it up again. I'm not harming anyone or putting anyone in immediate danger so I don't feel bad about it plus I get to use the old excuse of "everyone else does it".
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If you are on a motorcycle, technically that is legal. Except you are actually mandated to stop and then go.

But, I am questioning myself on whether you meant to say stop signs rather than stop lights/red lights.
 
kolio
If you are on a motorcycle, technically that is legal. Except you are actually mandated to stop and then go.

But, I am questioning myself on whether you meant to say stop signs rather than stop lights/red lights.
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I'm riding a bicycle, so legality is a grey area but I've done it a few times in front of police cars and not been pulled up on it.

There are no stop signs on my route, they'd be useless in Central London. I mean red lights on a tree as in the kind you'd find at a junction (intersection).
 
I once told a biology teacher I had, to 🤬 off because she was being an annoying 🤬 about my final grade.

I didn't have any reprecussion about it and ended up with the grade I wanted. I was proud of myself, and so was the entire class, everybody thought the same and no one had the balls to say it.
 

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