Depression and Anxiety Thread

  • Thread starter JohnBM01
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Oh, my goodness... I am very sorry, SPhilli911. My condolences go out to you and your family. Grieving the death of a loved one isn't easy. I hope you are able to deal and recover as best as you can. Try to connect with some qualified individual to help you get through all of this.
 
Oh, my goodness... I am very sorry, SPhilli911. My condolences go out to you and your family. Grieving the death of a loved one isn't easy. I hope you are able to deal and recover as best as you can. Try to connect with some qualified individual to help you get through all of this.
Thank you very much, I greatly appreciate this message. It will take some time to process, but many family members will be around for support soon, so that's a start. I was very lucky to have spent the last day with my dad sitting around a fire reminiscing about everything. Surreal to say the least, I learned a lot about him the day before he passed.
 
I am sorry if this isn't the place for venting, but to be totally honest I have no one to talk to. My dad passed away today while on a bike ride, completely sudden and unexpected at 65 years old. He was very active and had no known health issues, so I am having trouble processing this. He hiked the entire Appalachian Trail not long ago, rides his bike frequently for 40 years, hell he is more active than I am. How can this be? I'm crushed.
I am glad to hear your last moments with him were productive or happy moments.

My condolences to you and your family. Take some time to yourself when you get a chance, and as John said, a professional could help.
 
Sports fan depression is fairly real. After watching my Houston Astros lose the World Series to the Atlanta Braves, I actually couldn't sleep a bit last night. Just the thought of another Houston team losing just adds to the redundancy of Houston sports teams losing big games or major championships. I may find myself not watching as many Houston sports anymore because the same futility continues until some hope is generated.

I also went ahead and unfollowed some more Twitch channels, even including one major streamer I just never felt connected with and decided to leave after following for so long. Just a number of things to get over this sad sports fan deal.


Don't let depression or anxiety win.
 
I am sorry if this isn't the place for venting, but to be totally honest I have no one to talk to. My dad passed away today while on a bike ride, completely sudden and unexpected at 65 years old. He was very active and had no known health issues, so I am having trouble processing this. He hiked the entire Appalachian Trail not long ago, rides his bike frequently for 40 years, hell he is more active than I am. How can this be? I'm crushed.
So sorry for you loss. Reach out if you need to vent.
 
A little over an hour ago my father was taken to the hospital. It doesn't look good and I'm afraid that I lost him. If this is the case, I have nothing to live for anymore and will end my life as well. It's pathetic but that is how I feel right now.
I always knew this day would come. It's hard, very hard. I don't know what to do. I'm home alone, I'm not allowed to enter the hospital.
This could well be my very last post on GTP.
 
A little over an hour ago my father was taken to the hospital. It doesn't look good and I'm afraid that I lost him. If this is the case, I have nothing to live for anymore and will end my life as well. It's pathetic but that is how I feel right now.
I always knew this day would come. It's hard, very hard. I don't know what to do. I'm home alone, I'm not allowed to enter the hospital.
This could well be my very last post on GTP.
Please do not do that. Please just wait and give yourself some time to take things in before you do something so final as that. There will be something to live for. The search may seem impossible but I promise you will find something.

As a side note, there's an app called Wisdo. It helped me a lot and I strongly recommend it.
 
This past Thursday marked four years since my grandmother passed away. When you lose a loved one, you feel empty. However, life goes on, and you have to be strong. I lost my biological father back when I was only seven. Now I'm 38. I hope for the best for you and your family, kikie.
 
The last three weeks have been very difficult. There are moments of good, but so many moments of bad. I keep telling myself that it is myself causing this, but it seems to do little good. Medication has helped, but I really need to talk to someone on a regular basis. However, taking that step to see someone is difficult. It should not be difficult, but it is.
 
The last three weeks have been very difficult. There are moments of good, but so many moments of bad. I keep telling myself that it is myself causing this, but it seems to do little good. Medication has helped, but I really need to talk to someone on a regular basis. However, taking that step to see someone is difficult. It should not be difficult, but it is.
It's worth taking that step. It's a relief once you've taken it. It's the hardest step so once it's done, things do improve.
 
@kikie, let us know how you’re doing man.

However, taking that step to see someone is difficult. It should not be difficult, but it is.
Drop me a message. You wouldn’t be the first person on GTP that’s called on me for airing grievances. I’m happy to give you my contact and listen to you rant for hours if necessary. I’m not a pro therapist, but I’ve been through the works myself over the years so I can relate. Plus I don’t charge. ;)
 
In fact, to bolster the general moral of the more miserable of GTP members, consider me a therapist (unqualified, admittedly) and drop me a personal message.
I’m happy to arrange a time to live chat over a messenger service. Even if you just want somebody to listen to you, lean on me.

For what it’s worth, I don’t take this on selflessly. I do gain some personal satisfaction from helping others. It’s non-judgemental, unbiased and pretty much what you’d expect from me. I just intend to offer an ear for those that need it.
 
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I was checking my Facebook Memories; and on this day (November 24) in 2017, I posted that I was away from social media because I had to be hospitalized for an infection. The support I gotten from other people was astonishing. Even people who don't normally chat with me shown their love. The important lesson here is that it shows just how much I am loved and appreciated by others. So if you feel depressed and have no support from others, at least thankful you have some sort of clique concerned about you and for you. Not everyone can be so blessed, but be thankful if you are.


Don't let depression or anxiety win.
 
A year of finally medicating and it seems like I feel worse. This has been a very difficult time, I lost a lot of people this year (ironically not because of Covid) and the pandemic doesn't help. I want to get better but everytime I'm trying to stay positive, italways feels like I'm lying to myself.
I'm not actively suicidal but at the same time I'm slowly losing my will to live. I can't tell anyone in my life about this because either they just don't help, or I just don't want to make them sad or something. I just couldn't trust anyone and I don't blame them. At the same time, telling what I feel to my doctor felt weird as hell.
At the end, I don't know what I want or what to do. I guess I'm just venting a bit now.

Truly sorry for the long post.
 
A year of finally medicating and it seems like I feel worse. This has been a very difficult time, I lost a lot of people this year (ironically not because of Covid) and the pandemic doesn't help. I want to get better but everytime I'm trying to stay positive, italways feels like I'm lying to myself.
I'm not actively suicidal but at the same time I'm slowly losing my will to live. I can't tell anyone in my life about this because either they just don't help, or I just don't want to make them sad or something. I just couldn't trust anyone and I don't blame them. At the same time, telling what I feel to my doctor felt weird as hell.
At the end, I don't know what I want or what to do. I guess I'm just venting a bit now.

Truly sorry for the long post.
No need to be sorry.

Although we share different experiences, I share nearly all of the same feelings, especially the part of 'lying to yourself'.

I guess I'm passively suicidal, and I just questioned why I'm even living once again, which is why I decided to visit this thread.

Its gotten to the point where something may happen I just don't know when. Until then, I'm just gonna keep living, trying to take advantage of each day.
 
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A year of finally medicating and it seems like I feel worse. This has been a very difficult time, I lost a lot of people this year (ironically not because of Covid) and the pandemic doesn't help. I want to get better but everytime I'm trying to stay positive, italways feels like I'm lying to myself.
I'm not actively suicidal but at the same time I'm slowly losing my will to live. I can't tell anyone in my life about this because either they just don't help, or I just don't want to make them sad or something. I just couldn't trust anyone and I don't blame them. At the same time, telling what I feel to my doctor felt weird as hell.
At the end, I don't know what I want or what to do. I guess I'm just venting a bit now.

Truly sorry for the long post.
No need to apologise at all.
I had similar feelings a few years ago. I always knew loneliness was my problem, though. I don't do well on my own. I didn't want to commit suicide, but I didn't want to carry on either. I wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. Meeting my other half lifted me right out of it and gave me something to live for. I got unbelievably lucky to find her. Have you tried the Wisdo app? It links you with people who've been through similar, which helps a lot because you finally have people to talk to who understand you a little better than your family might.
No need to be sorry.

Although we share different experiences, I share nearly all of the same feelings, especially the part of 'lying to yourself'.

I guess I'm passively suicidal, and I just questioned why I'm even living once again, which is why I decided to visit this thread.

Its gotten to the point where something may happen I just don't know when. Until then, I'm just gonna keep living, trying to take advantage of each day.
Do you live alone? Is there someone in your life who you can talk to, or just spend time with as a distraction?
 
Do you live alone? Is there someone in your life who you can talk to, or just spend time with as a distraction?
Sorry for not responding.

I live with my parents and the environment is not healthy at all.

As of recent, I’ve been fighting suicidal thoughts and managed to have a panic attack while walking in public.

I ask myself everyday - “Why do people have to be needlessly cruel.”

These thoughts have never been so strong for me. I’m hanging on by a thread.
 
Sorry for not responding.

I live with my parents and the environment is not healthy at all.

As of recent, I’ve been fighting suicidal thoughts and managed to have a panic attack while walking in public.

I ask myself everyday - “Why do people have to be needlessly cruel.”

These thoughts have never been so strong for me. I’m hanging on by a thread.
Have you got any friends you can talk to about it? It helps a lot, even if you don't directly talk about the problems, it can be nice to have a distraction.

I'd also recommend the Wisdo app. Someone here suggested it to me a few years ago when I was at my worst, and it helped to talk to people who were going through similar things.

As for people being cruel, you're right. People are unbelievably selfish and terrible, and I've personally decided not to give a damn about a single one of them outside of my partner and a select few others.

Please feel free to message me if you want to chat.
 
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Have you got any friends you can talk to about it? It helps a lot, even if you don't directly talk about the problems, it can be nice to have a distraction.

I'd also recommend the Wisdo app. Someone here suggested it to me a few years ago when I was at my worst, and it helped to talk to people who were going through similar things.

As for people being cruel, you're right. People are unbelievably selfish and terrible, and I've personally decided not to give a damn about a single one of them outside of my partner and a select few others.

Please feel free to message me if you want to chat.
I don't have any friends. I had to end a lot of friendships over the past two years because they were not good to keep around in the long run. I do have one person I speak to, that's it. Family, I keep them arm's length for my own protection.

I've never heard of Wisdo, but I'm really interested in it, so I installed it on my iPhone just now.

Something incredibly ****ed up happened to me, which it involves family and it may drag out for a long time.

I'm not even sure if I'd even have the strength to speak to you through PM, but I really appreciate it.
 
I don't have any friends. I had to end a lot of friendships over the past two years because they were not good to keep around in the long run. I do have one person I speak to, that's it. Family, I keep them arm's length for my own protection.

I've never heard of Wisdo, but I'm really interested in it, so I installed it on my iPhone just now.

Something incredibly ****ed up happened to me, which it involves family and it may drag out for a long time.

I'm not even sure if I'd even have the strength to speak to you through PM, but I really appreciate it.
Not having friends is no big deal. As an expat I’ve had “friends” come and go. Many of the dear to me but ultimately they’re just correspondents now.

Currently, like yourself, I have a friend (excluding my wife) because most people I’ve tried to associate with are either bad influences on me, or I’m bad for them. People at work I don’t even bother to business with outside of school hours because I’m so different from them.

If you’ve got family issues then you might want some professional help. Some things can be worked out for the better.

If it’s related to abuse and the like then it’s really best to get it out of your system, no matter how hard it seems. I haven’t been able to fully clear some of the abuses of my childhood (not by family though) and it’s left me scarred. I’m sure professional help might rectify the issues but that hasn’t been an option for me, I hope it is for you if you need it.

Ultimately, sometimes the so-called strangers on a website might be able to help you. Like it’s been said, send us a message and arrange a time to talk if you need. I’m always here to listen.
 
Not having friends is no big deal. As an expat I’ve had “friends” come and go. Many of the dear to me but ultimately they’re just correspondents now.

Currently, like yourself, I have a friend (excluding my wife) because most people I’ve tried to associate with are either bad influences on me, or I’m bad for them. People at work I don’t even bother to business with outside of school hours because I’m so different from them.

If you’ve got family issues then you might want some professional help. Some things can be worked out for the better.

If it’s related to abuse and the like then it’s really best to get it out of your system, no matter how hard it seems. I haven’t been able to fully clear some of the abuses of my childhood (not by family though) and it’s left me scarred. I’m sure professional help might rectify the issues but that hasn’t been an option for me, I hope it is for you if you need it.

Ultimately, sometimes the so-called strangers on a website might be able to help you. Like it’s been said, send us a message and arrange a time to talk if you need. I’m always here to listen.
I really appreciate it. It's just an awful situation all-round and I'm just tired of it.
 
I hope you all can find something to be hopeful of or interested in trying to make the new year great. For me, I have embarked on a creative burst of preparing meals in an air fryer or a toaster oven. I also have bought FL Studio (Fruity Edition) to try to make music. Actually, possibly returning to making music. Creativity can help you to feel better and enrich your mind and ease up whatever depression or anxiety you may have. So think about these things as we welcome in 2022.


Don't let depression or anxiety win. And uh, happy new year!
 
I do not like January and February. SAD really sets in. The chance of snow and ice increases too; I really dislike both.
 
Dull, cloudy, rainy/snowy days get to me also. Thankfully today, it is a beautiful blue sky day here in Houston today. Also VERY cold. Seasonal affective depression is a thing. I think earlier in this thread, someone mentioned light therapy to help those with SAD feel better. So consider some light therapy to help you out with something like this.
 
As I sit here facing the start of yet another year of the same goddamn **** at work, starting in 7 hours time, I can't shake the idea that just checking out is the better option. There is no upside to anything these days, circumstances moved the one shot I've had at happiness away from me... and the alcohol consumption required to keep moving forward became unsustainable quite some time ago. I've had enough. This isn't a last gasp post on GTP, I'll still be here tomorrow, I'm not sat here with a blade in my arm... but **** me, I hate the world today, I hate what it makes us, I hate what it puts us through.
 
I do not like January and February. SAD really sets in. The chance of snow and ice increases too; I really dislike both.
One thing that did wonders for me was moving to a warm, sunny climate where SAD can’t occur. I know it’s a major deal and not really an option for most to move across the world to deal with depression but my life has been better for it.
As I sit here facing the start of yet another year of the same goddamn ** at work, starting in 7 hours time, I can't shake the idea that just checking out is the better option. There is no upside to anything these days, circumstances moved the one shot I've had at happiness away from me... and the alcohol consumption required to keep moving forward became unsustainable quite some time ago. I've had enough. This isn't a last gasp post on GTP, I'll still be here tomorrow, I'm not sat here with a blade in my arm... but ** me, I hate the world today, I hate what it makes us, I hate what it puts us through.
I feel your pain. It’s been not too long since I was in the drink/ depression cycle which eventually levelled out. There are still days when I look in the mirror and wonder where the last 20 years have gone; how much of it I’ve lost to booze and how much I’ve shorten my life by the alcoholic affliction.

I’ve found that shaking things up, work wise, has helped me. Once I’ve settled into a company and become all too familiar I find myself back in a drink cycle. Finding new work helps me get motivated to show my better side which helps keep me away from permadrunk status.

As always with depression there are highs and lows. Very rarely do they seem to be connected to anything other than faulty brain chemistry.

Anyone here is welcome to drop me a line at any time for a rant or just to escape from reality for a bit. Being at rock bottom sucks, but it’s always a bit less of a drag when there’s somebody to listen who understands your position.
 
As I sit here facing the start of yet another year of the same goddamn ** at work, starting in 7 hours time, I can't shake the idea that just checking out is the better option. There is no upside to anything these days, circumstances moved the one shot I've had at happiness away from me... and the alcohol consumption required to keep moving forward became unsustainable quite some time ago. I've had enough. This isn't a last gasp post on GTP, I'll still be here tomorrow, I'm not sat here with a blade in my arm... but ** me, I hate the world today, I hate what it makes us, I hate what it puts us through.
I think a lot of us can relate to having a job we dread. Changing your job, even if it's something you don't necessarily like the sound of, can make a big difference, at least for a while. A job that gets you moving and doesn't give you time to think as much helps. The good news is there's lots of jobs in the UK right now.
 
I’m trying to not let something bother me - the fact that I’ve always been told that I’m smart and that I’d be a great bf, but I’ve never had a gf. I’m also still a virgin and I hear some women prefer men with more experience. So I try not to let it bother me, but I turn 30 in late March, so sometimes I feel really self-conscious about my situation. I’m not fat nor ugly, and I’ve tried the supposedly popular dating apps for over a year without getting any dates. It feels like my relatives just give me empty platitudes when I tell them that fact, like that they’re sure that whoever I find will think I’m a catch. I want to be more pro-active in finding someone - either for something casual or longer-term, as I just want the experience at this point - but I don’t know what to do. All I know is that I’ve had a fear of missing out for too long.

It feels like everyone my age is getting married or already has someone. What’s left for me? Bitter divorcees? Single mothers? And otherwise damaged women who have far more baggage than me? No, I feel like I deserve someone better, and I’m not going to settle. You can call me “entitled,” but I’m just tired of missing out, and I want the experience. Other people always tell me that I’m handsome, smart, and nice - so the only reason I’ve never had a gf, I think, is a simple lack of trying. Otherwise, I don’t have any excuses for myself as to why I don’t have a gf. But I just don’t know what to do, exactly, even though I’m clearly motivated. I wish dating apps actually worked for me, they feel so broken. Getting an escort isn’t an option for me, either - it’s not in my budget.

I want sex and I want it yesterday! Why do I never feel like I’m good enough to get that?! It’s not as if I was told it was like, the best thing in the world for all my life, dammit! I’m so tired of being told that dating, online or not, is a numbers game. I’m almost 30, I don’t have time to pull the lever of life’s slot machine until I win the jackpot.

I feel seriously tempted sometimes to just get a RealDoll and cuddle with it, pretending it’s my gf.
 
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