Falling in love...

  • Thread starter Thread starter Zrow
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*McLaren*


Zrow, I'm out of high school, where dating is really different from the real world (which is much better đź‘Ť ).
I'm sure I'm old enough to mean what I say.
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So am I, but this isn't just limited to high school. I'm saying that at least for me, I liked our friendship because I liked her and I was always hanging on the possibility of a relationship between us. In the end it didn't happen, and the way I was going about it it wasn't going to. Just keep your options open.


Side note, the aforementioned girl got real interested as soon as I stopped paying as much attention and wasn't really interested. Figures.
 
Yes well there are also girls that want everyone's attention.
They are not very mature IMO though:tdown:.

But thats because I'm still in high school I guess*sigh*.
 
Niels
Yes well there are also girls that want everyone's attention.
They are not very mature IMO though:tdown:.

But thats because I'm still in high school I guess*sigh*.
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Yes, the high maintenance girls are a man's nightmare.
They'll empty your wallet real fast.
 
Zrow
You don't want to hear it, but I suggest you move on before you get too attached. I wouldn't say it's a good idea to try to spend time trying to get a girl with a boyfriend interested in you.



Guys act too nice to girls they like. Nice guys don't get girls. You don't want to get too close to her, because you'll probably just end up in the friend zone. Be kind of cocky, tease her, call her on stupid things she says, don't say "just kidding", don't act like she's better than you. Confidence is key. You're not trying to be her friend - you're trying to be her interest.

But if she's not interested and she's obviously not going to be, move on. First of all, there's a chance that she will suddenly see you in a new light now that you aren't paying so much attention to her. More importantly, however, is that you're saving yourself all the time and effort, and heartache even on a girl that's not interested in you. Cut your losses and get movin'.
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I kind of half agree half disagree with you here. Girls with a boyfriend can be a bad thing, unless you are willing to not be the nice guy. I'm not saying that you shoudl be underhanded and use mean tricks or anything cruel, but I used to have a rule of a girl with a guy was off-limits. In college I changed that to a girl with a ring was off-limits.

I met my wife when she showed up at a party I was throwing, with another guy-my one-time friend. As soon as I realized that he was busy getting plastered I sat down next to her and started talking. He was ready to leave about 4 hours later and I had spent almost teh entire night talking to her. I inited everyone back the next night when friends from home were coming in to town and he couldn't make it, but she could. She grabbed my number and called the next afternoon to see what time to show up. She was there an hour early.

One of the first words out of her mouth was that she really wasn't dating my friend. They were just kind of hanging out. Uh-huh. Anyway, she partied with us that night and then two weeks later was New Year's and she ditched the other guy to go to my friend's party with me. We had our New Year's kiss and then got married two and a half years later.

My friend <cough> hasn't spoken to either of us since that New Years. That was fine though. I had just graduated college and moved back home to work. I never have to see him again.


The first time I ever acted on the premise of all is fair in love and war and it paid off big time. If a girl has a boyfriend don't be afraid to test their relationship. You can be a nice guy but that little test shows you aren't the goody friend type too. A friend would stay his ground and just want to see her happy. I have been there too many times. A man she can love will face down the odds.
 
Girls can be so confusing:rolleyes:

Last friday I asked her about her boyfriend and if he would have allowed us to go to Romeo and Juliette. Then she was like "How you mean, like relationshipwise?", I said "yeah you know what I mean". She was like "yah it's a school play so he doesn't care;). Doesn't matter right, we'll stay friends right, not more or something:D?"

I was like *sigh*, she apparently doesn't want more. We continued that convo till pretty late in the evening. I left with the feel: I guess she loves her BF too much. Anyway in the weekend, I was kinda bored, I go to MSN, we get a convo, wich lasts pretty long, she had her webcam on and I was messing around with my mic sometimes:p Anyway, next day I log in again on MSN, she IMMEDIATLY starts a convo. We suddenly had alot of convo's for some weard confusing reason:irked:

Then I go to school today, 6 lessons were ahead, and we went through the day normally, she was kinda like talking to me about the convo's in the weekend all day long. Then I enter the last lesson a bit too late after the break, and the class was still unorganized and it hadn't started yet and she was laughing a bit and suddenly says "Hey Niels can I come to your place?*laugh* Yeah I am coming with you to your home....ok?:p".
I'm like "hehe yeah lol whateva:lol:" but I was confused:confused: Why the sudden interest all the time, she just trying to mess with me isn't she:odd:

She didn't come home with me because I had half an hour detention to go through and obviously she wasn't gonna wait for 30 minutes for that "joke".


Man, never try to understand a girl:rolleyes:
 
Niels
Girls can be so confusing:rolleyes:

Man, never try to understand a girl:rolleyes:
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These two sentences sum up everything you ever need to know about relationships. It is guesswork 24/7.
 
Yep, and expect i to be your fault when she forgets to record her own programs ect.
 
LewyMan
Is this the right place to ask for some advice? Coz I really need some...
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We'll tell you if it's the right place to ask if you elaborate more on your issue. You need advice on what?










Ciao!
 
Ozzy.
We'll tell you if it's the right place to ask if you elaborate more on your issue. You need advice on what?
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Advice on what I should do about the situation I'm currently in, regarding a girl of course.

I might as well just say it now....

There's this girl, Grace, I took her to my formal 2 weeks ago, and I'm beginning to like her, alot!
She is (or was) in Grade 10, but certainly does not look or act like it, she is quite mature for her age.
Now, I have asked her if she would like to come to the movies or something with my mate (the one who introduced us), and she seems really excited about going đź‘Ť

I'm just wondering whether I should leave it a while longer, get to know her a bit more (mind you, we got to know eachother alot at the formal), or if I should just sorta jump in the deep end, as it were.
 
What deep end? You're not asking her to marry you. Save that for next week.

This is the kind of relationship problem you want to have. Go for it.
 
Oh yeah, I sure as hell want this, but the thing is, I don't want to freak her out by going for it early. I think she might like me, but I can't be sure yet. But earlier today, I got the opportunity to say how pretty she looked, coz she asked me whether she should get light brown streaks in her hair. She replied with: aww thanks thats so sweet.
So if I continue to get opportunities to compliment her, it should go good.
 
Jump in man! Just plug your nose and go!

Its nice to wait and get to know the girl, which you already did at the formal, now its time to let her know your intentions before its too late and your forever known as "a friend". :yuck:
 
I believe that you can love the same person for the rest of your life, but i dont believe you can have sex with the same person the rest of your life.
 
SRV2LOW4ME
Its nice to wait and get to know the girl, which you already did at the formal, now its time to let her know your intentions before its too late and your forever known as "a friend". :yuck:
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Agreed, though I think you shouldn't jump in right now, you should go ahead soon. You don't wanna get too close to her for a long time without saying anything because she's gonna start seeing you as her new "best friend", and that's gonna be a problem, she's gonna hesitate when you ask her out. You'll hear some words like "but i don't wanna ruin this wonderful friendship that we have" or "I see you as a friend, nothing more"....know what I mean?

Now, I might be completely wrong if she REALLY likes you a lot. If she's dying for you, then SHE might ask you out if you don't ask her first...(it rarely happens).

But anyway, you should be very close to ask her out, don't get to know her too much, just enough and then, just trigger the gun...






Ciao!
 
Ozzy.
Agreed, though I think you shouldn't jump in right now, you should go ahead soon. You don't wanna get too close to her for a long time without saying anything because she's gonna start seeing you as her new "best friend", and that's gonna be a problem, she's gonna hesitate when you ask her out. You'll hear some words like "but i don't wanna ruin this wonderful friendship that we have" or "I see you as a friend, nothing more"....know what I mean?

Now, I might be completely wrong if she REALLY likes you a lot. If she's dying for you, then SHE might ask you out if you don't ask her first...(it rarely happens).

But anyway, you should be very close to ask her out, don't get to know her too much, just enough and then, just trigger the gun...
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Okay, when we go to the movies, I'll give it a shot. I will sit next to her :sly:

Doesn't that just suck, the girl never asks first, I hate that :ouch:
 
oh to be a teenager. First of all, when getting to know someone; movie, bad choice. Take her somewhere you can talk. You can go for the cliche of a nice restaurant, that never fails. Plus it gives you a chance to see what kind of girl she is by what she orders. Second of all, dont ask her to be your girlfriend. That's lame. Just put your arm around her and give her a kiss. If she kisses back you're in, if not, move on to the next girl. You're young, the more girls you date, the better. You dont want to try and stick with one girl for a long time, you're only setting yourself up for pain and misery. Date around, get experience. Wait untill your mid 20's, at the youngest, to think about settling down.
 
Actually, I kinda already know her quite well, that part happened at the formal.

Plus, I'd rather like, flatter her and stuff, and make sure that she likes me first, before I just go ahead and kiss her or something.
 
Gizz.:indiff:
No one can help me, cause I am a girl.:(
Ah love, the thing that makes the world go round.
Me, I'm in love with a video game carecter.
It's sad I know, but I'll never find any one who could even think of liking me because I'm too off the wall.:(
What a wonderful thing love can be.
 
NightmareHunter
Gizz.:indiff:
No one can help me, cause I am a girl.:(
Ah love, the thing that makes the world go round.
Me, I'm in love with a video game carecter.
It's sad I know, but I'll never find any one who could even think of liking me because I'm too off the wall.:(
What a wonderful thing love can be.
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I partly agree with you there. As yet, I have neither kissed a girl nor dated one. Hopefully, that will have all changed by next week.

Way back in high school :sly: I liked, no, loved this girl (not Grace), like I really loved her, and she couldn't give two flops about me :nervous: :nervous:

But we are friends now, band mates, actually.
 
LewyMan
Now, I have asked her if she would like to come to the movies or something with my mate (the one who introduced us), and she seems really excited about going đź‘Ť
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You're asking her to go out with your friend?

You're not going to get far with her this way! :sly:
 
TheCracker
You're asking her to go out with your friend?

You're not going to get far with her this way! :sly:
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I think he meant he and his friend.

LewyMan, don;'t waste too much time because you are nervouse. Worst case scenario is that she says no, you realize she doesn't like you, and you have to decide whether or not you want to be friends with a girl you are attracted to. It sounds horrible at 17, but after a while you learn it isn't a bad thing to get some answers. Just don't waste time. My wife and I had our first official date and kiss within a week of meeting each other. It would have happened sooner but we lived 40 miles apart.

Just from reading what you have told us it seems like you are basically already in. She went to your formal with you. I don't know about Australia, but here in the states that counts as a date. Then if she agrees to go out with you and your friend then she likes you enough to not mind being a third wheel. Next step is a real date together that involves something cliche like a nice restaurant and whatever is considered sweet/romantic in Australia. Movies are common around here , but then you need to find a way to spend a lot of face time with them. I always found that a walk in a park or something like that worked best. You get to go for holding the hand and that tells you right there what they are looking for. Girls don't tend to just hold the hands of guy friends, unless they think they are homosexual. If that's the case then you have definitely sent her the wrong signal.

Let us know how it goes.

Don't delay. I give you until the end of next week before you are in the friend zone and then it is too late.
 
Indeed, but I don't know about taking a walk down the park though, most girls are looking for a more fun time, she'll probably think about how much fun is this relationship going to be. So a walk in the park is nice once in a while, restaurant dinner...hmm..ok.... but take her out to other places, hang out with your friends too, make her part of the gang at least at some point, so she becomes more involved with you. You DON'T want her to think that you are too sweet and lovely and blah blah blah....

In other words, avoid boredom.







Ciao!
 
I haven't gone through all of the advice, LewyMan, but from what I saw, the majority are saying go for it. I agree. What is the worst that happens? She says no? Big deal. When you are young, everything seems so dramatic and important. If she says no, and you have to admit that she might very well do that, don't let it get you down. If she says yes, come to grips with the fact that at some point, you will do something to piss her off. After closing in on 8 years of marriage, I piss my wife off on a regular basis. That is usually about the time I spend some time catching on on *insert game title here* - if she is going to be mad at me, I might as well make it good, right? :lol:

Point is, be prepared for anything, but expect nothing. Don't just use that advice for this situation, either. It'll serve you (fairly) well for quite a few things throughout your life. Besides, if you don't ask her, you'll forever beat yourself up wondering the dreaded "What if...?" question.
 
Ozzy.
Indeed, but I don't know about taking a walk down the park though, most girls are looking for a more fun time, she'll probably think about how much fun is this relationship going to be. So a walk in the park is nice once in a while, restaurant dinner...hmm..ok.... but take her out to other places, hang out with your friends too, make her part of the gang at least at some point, so she becomes more involved with you. You DON'T want her to think that you are too sweet and lovely and blah blah blah....

In other words, avoid boredom.
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Definitely cultural differences can make a difference. Whihc is why I suggested whatever is common for Australia.

My wife enjoyed meeting my friends, but sitting around talking video games, sports, movies, or going out to bars was not a ton of excitement for her. She prefers to cuddle up with me and torture me with some romantic comedy, preferrably involving Mathew McConaghey. When my friends want to do stuff she tells me to go have fun.

Whatever is more the norm for your cultural region, and the girl.

TB
After closing in on 8 years of marriage, I piss my wife off on a regular basis. That is usually about the time I spend some time catching on on *insert game title here* - if she is going to be mad at me, I might as well make it good, right?
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Just don't let her find you playing Time Crisis with your GonCon. That can freak them out.
 

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