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Discussion in 'The Rumble Strip' started by DQuaN, Apr 22, 2004.
I’ve seen a few truck crashes throughout China and in most cases the driver was killed.
I manage a crash repair shop for trucks, its crazy the amount of damage that Roll overs cause.
Some of the drivers survive and I think how the hell did they survive that, others of course aren't so lucky. We have even come across human remains when we pull them apart
China has one of the worst Road Tolls per head of population on the planet. India is the other.
IMO, the largest contributing factor is the skill level for the task involved.
My brother works for Kenworth & he agrees with me - truck bodies are made from tinfoil so they can carry more freight & not exceed the weight restrictions.
The other day I watched a documentary on how ships are made.
It was riveting.
A guy suspects that his dog is dead and goes to a vet.
Put your dog on the table said the vet, opening a little box.
A cat emerges, jumps on the dog, walks on the dog and jumps back on the ground.
Yes, your dog is dead said the vet.
That is terrible, the guy said.
He asked the vet how much he has to pay.
$825, said the vet
Wait, what, that much?
Yes said the vet, $25 for the consult and $800 for the CAT-scan.
Why couldn't the pig cross the road?
He hurt his oinkle.
Before my surgery, the anesthetist offered to use the knock-out gas or whack me over the head with a canoe paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
I recently tried selling beach footwear for one-legged people.
It was a flop.
As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a traffic warden's funeral, a voice screamed from inside, "I'm not dead! I'm not dead! Let me out!"
To which the vicar replied, "Too late pal. I've already done the paperwork!"
There have been reports that a tourist was hit on the head by a coconut whilst walking along the beach.
His wife is said to be desiccated by the experience.
Two guys and a mother walk into a bar. First guy asks for a shot and gets Jack Daniels. Second guy asks for a shot and gets Jose Cuervo. The mother says "No thanks, I don't do shots", then falls over and dies from Polio.
Noddy Holder is doing a reunion tour with Slade and needs to get some of his old clothing back. He talks it through with his manager and dressers:
"What about some flares?"
"Flared trousers, dead nice them."
"Braces would be fine."
"A kipper tie?"
"Yeah, milk, no sugar!"
Me and my wife kept arguing because apparently I had no sense of direction.
So I packed up my things and right.
What is an ephebophile?
A pedophile with a dictionary.
Wife: asks the husband for $5,000
Husband: why do you want $5,000?
Wife: I want to get Breast implants
Husband: you don't need implants, just rub toilet paper inbetween them
Wife: whats that going to do?
Husband: make them bigger, well it worked on your ass
And that's how the fight started.
What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?
NYYYAAAaaahhhh HAH HAAAAaahhh
HAH HAAAaaahhhh- ENOUGH