Old Days Become New ~Chapters 3 & 4: "The velvet" & "The stranger"~

Discussion in 'GT4 Race Reports' started by GT-R, Feb 13, 2010.

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  1. NP

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  2. NP

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    Chapter 1: Introduction


    I remember like it has been yesterday... Back in 1997, when I was 5 years old, my father, his name is Albert, and I have visited a dealer. We lived in Lydford, a small village in the UK. We had to drive to Northampton, because we have no dealers here. It took us 2,5 hours to arrive there, because we were driving a VW Golf Mk. I back then. When we arrived we saw a lot of old cars, some of them being real rarities. But I remember that I fell in love with only one car: The Jaguar E-Type '61. It was red and had light brown leather seats. It had only 2135 miles on the odometer, because its owner was overcautious and never wanted it to get dirty or get even smallest scrathes. It has been sold for £54.000, which obviously was too expensive for us. My father worked very hard to give me everything I wished. My mother, named Julia, was a normal housewife.

    One dark and stormy night, my father prepared to go to work. He was working about 60 kilometers away from home. He gave mum and me a good-bye kiss and left. I remember my mother saying: "Drive carefully". This was the last time I saw him alive...

    From what I heard, a truck cut a very tight corner and crashed into my father. My father lost control over his car and ended up in a slope, being badly injured. Although the ambulance came quickly, my father died in the hospital.

    A few weeks later, a pick-up with a huge trailer came. He parked in front of our house and rang. When my mother opened the door, the driver asked: "Family Parker?". My mother said "Yes" and the driver then asked: "Where should I deposit the car?". My mother was speechless. She just asked: "What car?". The driver said: "Albert Parker bought the E-Type and ordered the transport of it to his house". At the same time, this was a shock and a happy moment for me. My mother just said "You can deposit the car in front of our garage right there", she pointed onto the pavement in front of our garage. After 30 minutes the driver finished depositing the car and handled over the car's keys. My mother didn't know what to do. She couldn't believe father bought the car. After a few minutes he went outside and parked the car into the garage. She told me to bring her the red velvet cloth from the cellar...



    To be continued...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 21, 2010
  3. MinoltaMan89

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    Great start, Nenad. :tup: I hope to see more chapters from you. :D
     
  4. NP

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    Thanks for the comment, Luke.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 21, 2010
  5. Apok

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    Great story guys!
    Well written. I wonder what happens next.
     
  6. NP

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    Thanks for the compliments, Maj! :)
     
  7. SVX

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    Amazing!
     
  8. Pitracer100

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    Speechless...:drool:
    This story has almost inspired me to write a new story myself.:)
     
  9. Lucas

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    Just noticed you and Ahmad wrote it together (didn't saw the red letters below the title!). Nice story so far, guys. :tup: Many parents dying lately on this subforum. :lol:
     
  10. NP

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    Thanks for commenting, guys. :)

    True, Lucas. :lol: :tup:
     
  11. SaberFire

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    Intriguing, I like it :tup:

    Man, I need to do SOOOO much catching up here :p
     
  12. DK

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    Why can't I write something as popular? :lol: It's a good story though, and I look forward to seeing young Mr. Parker's first race. :tup:
     
  13. Pitracer100

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    Maybe because, we both base our stories in Japan.:guilty:

    Nenad's,
    InvincibleGT's is based in the U.K.
     
  14. NP

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    Thanks for commenting.

    We will see what happens next. :p
     
  15. Prince.M5

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    I think this story sounds great!!! Can't wait for more...
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2010
  16. Lucas

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    This is exactly the reason I will not comment in any story based mainly in Japan. It gets old, very quickly.

    Anyways, looking forward to the next chapter, Nenad and Ahmad. :tup:

    EDIT: Reading new chapter.
    EDIT 2: Nice, realism (something that isn't present in this subforum lately). :tup: I feel identified with Jake, though I haven't done my exam yet. :lol: I like that you are bolding the names, otherwise, it gets fuzzy. :tup: One question, though. £9.000 to get a driver's license? :eek:
     
  17. NP

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    Thanks for commenting, Lucas. Not all of the £9.000 are being used for the driver's license. ;)

    EDIT: Chapter edited. :tup:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 15, 2010
  18. Pitracer100

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    Another nice chapter from Nenad and Ahmad.:tup:
     
  19. NP

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    Thanks. :tup:
     
  20. SVX

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    Nice work!
     
  21. NP

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    Thanks for commenting, SVX! :tup:
     
  22. DK

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    I really want to see young Jake's first race. It would be a shame to see such a promising story die like Remember the Name and Fury.
     
  23. NP

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    This story won't die. We already have the main concept for the next chapter, it just needs some cleaning up. :p

    :tup:
     
  24. NP

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    Chapter 2: A conversation with consequences


    In the morning...

    Jake and his mother are eating breakfast in the kitchen.

    Mrs. Parker: "Jake, I have to tell you something."
    Jake: "What is it, mum?"
    Mrs. Parker: "You know that your father died in an accident 12 years ago. Back then, I've found work in the supermarket I work today, too."
    Jake: "Yes, I know."
    Mrs. Parker: "I've been saving money to use when we need it and I think now it's the right moment to ask you something."
    Jake: "Okay, just ask me."
    Mrs. Parker: "I have saved £9.000 in the last few years and I'd like you to do your driver's license. I want you to do this, because you should be flexible, having a car, because you'll start to work soon."
    Jake: "Really? Are you serious?"
    Mrs. Parker: "Yes. I've already searched after a good driving school and found one about 7 miles away from here. Your driver's license would cost £1.000, which is a good price, I believe. You can go there by bus. And you can finish it right after your 18th birthday."
    Jake: "That's great, mum. I can't thank you enough for this."

    Jake stands up and gives his mother a hug.


    10 weeks later...

    Jake exits the bus and runs to his house. He rings the bell and his mother opens.

    Mrs. Parker: "And?"
    Jake: "I Passed!", he shouts with a happy voice.
    Mrs. Parker: "Congratulations my son! Come in and let us celebrate with cake."



    To be continued...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 23, 2010
  25. NP

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    Chapter 3: The velvet


    Monday morning.

    I stand up at 6:00 am. After I've finished in the bath, I go to the kitchen to eat something. My mother wakes up and sits down in the kitchen.

    Mum: "Good morning."
    Me: "Good morning, mum."
    Mum: "So, you are going to have your first drive to your scholl today."
    Me: "Yes, I can't wait."

    10 minutes later, I finish my breakfast and stand up, heading the door.

    Mum: "Here you have the keys. Drive carefully."
    Me: "Thanks and don't worry, I'll be careful."

    I open the garage and see something under a velvet cloth. I put it off and can't believe what I see. It's beautiful. I can't believe my father bought this car just to make me happy. The car's hood is very long and the car's lines are smooth. I can't wait to start it up. I open the driver's door and sit down behind the wheel. I feel very comfortable in this car, especially because of the nice light brown leather which covers all seats.
    I put my bag on the passenger's seat and start up the car. The sound is lovely. Can't wait for my friends to see this great car...



    To be continued...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 21, 2010
  26. NP

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    Chapter 4: The stranger


    15 minutes later, I arrive at my school. All people are looking at the car, wondering who the driver is. When I exit the car Fred and Peter come over.

    Fred: "Hey Jake."
    Peter: "Hi Jake."
    Me: "Hi Fred, hi Peter, what's up guys?"
    Peter: "A lot... Now that we see your car."
    Fred: "Yeah, it looks great."
    Me: "Thanks. This is the car my father bought right before he died."
    Fred: "Oh well, he must've had a lot of money."
    Peter: "Fred...", rolling his eyes.
    Me: "It's alright", laughing. "Hey, it's time to go to class."
    Fred & Peter: "Yes, let's go."



    2:00 pm - I finish school and go to my car. I see a tall man standing next to my car, looking at it.



    Tall man: "Hello. Is this your car?"
    Me: "Yes, it is. Why are you asking?"
    Tell man: "Let me introduce myself. My name is Eddie Harper and I'm..."
    Me: "What do you want from me?"
    Eddie: "I'm searching for teenagers who would race for my racing team in several races."
    Me: "And why should I participate in "several races"?"
    Eddie: "I see you've got a very nice and rare car with which you would be competitive. If you win races, you'll get prize money and you'd also get money from me."
    Me: "What kind of races are those?"
    Eddie: "Well, these are street races. Now, are you interested to join in."
    Me: "No, sorry, I'm not really interested in street racing. I'm not even ready for any racing."
    Eddie: "No, please. I see you've a good passion for racing. You also have a fast car. We lack of racers at the moment. Hey, what about if I give you £1000 for your first race, doesn't matter if you win or not."
    Me: "Well, okay. I'm in."




    To be continued...
     
  27. SaberFire

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    Jake: I'm in it for the money, basically. :lol:

    In terms of criticism, I'll be blunt. English isn't your strong point, is it? :nervous: It just makes the characters seem to act somewhat like robots at times, and incredibly confrontational at others... on top of your portrayal of England being a bit off, but hey, it's fiction :tup:

    But I can say that the story premise is actually quite intriguing. Story set in England, and you're using an E-Type Jag, possibly the last car on Earth I'd think of to star in a race report :D I'm interested to see how it pans out.
     
  28. NP

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    English... Hmmm... I see no problem with the characters' texts. I wanted Jake to look censorious towards Eddie, if you mean that. What do you mean with the portrayal being off?

    The E-Type? Well, there's going to be something special...
     
  29. DK

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    Seeing as it's set in England you could make it very realistic by giving Jake a crappy French hatchback and a Nike tracksuit. :lol:
     
  30. NP

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    Or I can make him do his first race in Japan, selling the car and getting himself an R34. :lol:
     
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