Subaru B9 Tribeca

[Duke]

What in the name of holy hell were they thinking?! Discuss.

 

[Mistral1]

What in the name of holy hell were they thinking?! Discuss.

well, I like Subaru but this is horrible! And look on the front side of this car. It is similiar to Alfa Romeo cars.

 

[ExigeEvan]

Yeah, that's because one of the chief Alfa designers went to Subaru. You can see his influence in alot of concepts.

 

[retsmah]

Saw one of those out on the road yesterday. Very frightening

 

[slowman]

I saw one at the dealership yesterday.... its a turd.

 

[1X83Z]

Dynamically unappealing, overpriced, and very slow.

I'm completely indifferent on the styling and couldn't care less - Subaru's always been known for conservative design (not many manufacturers would change their headlights after drawing criticism - god knows BMW wouldn't) so maybe it was a poor choice to enter the premium market with, but then again on the same token, maybe they're trying to break the mold and enter the premium market with a bang. Either way, they need to get rid of the stupid flat-six; the car doesn't have enough horsepower. It's begging for a 300-horsepower 5.3-liter V8. I wonder if anyone makes one...

 

[inferno]

Oh dear. The subaru is dead. As soon as this filters down to the impreza subaru's time will be short. And M5 power, I cant imagine a Vortec 5300 in anything but a chevy/GMC.

 

[1X83Z]

And M5 power, I cant imagine a Vortec 5300 in anything but a chevy/GMC.

Start imagining.

Isuzu Ascender

Saab 9-7X

Buick Rainier

From what I hear, the engine goes into either Impala or Grand Prix at some point soon, too, as absurd as that may sound.

 

[Duke]

I'm completely indifferent on styling and couldn't care less -

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

 

[1X83Z]

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

I can't wait to see one on the street - I think it'll look futuristic. Like the Murano, but uglier, and way slower.

I think it'd look even more futuristic with a certain 5.3-liter V8 of about 300 horsepower, though... 💡

 

[Duke]

I can't wait to see one on the street - I think it'll look futuristic. Like the Murano, but uglier, and way slower.

I saw two on the local Subie lot and almost drove into a parked car while I was recovering from the retina damage. They're even gawkier and more mis-proportioned in real life.

You know, color-coded jumpsuits and knee-high white boots look "futuristic", but you won't catch me wearing them...

 

[1X83Z]

You know, color-coded jumpsuits and knee-high white boots look "futuristic", but you won't catch me wearing them...

Maybe I can't convince you to wear color-coded jumpsuits, but how about a nice 327-cubic-inch V8 of, oh, about 300 horsepower?

 

[Duke]

That sounds good. Just wrap it in anything else but that awful Star-Wars-extra-alien body.

 

[1X83Z]

That sounds good. Just wrap it in anything else but that awful Star-Wars-extra-alien body.

I thnk the Saab 9-7X is worse, to be perfectly honest. I didn't think that until now, but when I was searching for that image I ran across a wallpaper-sized shot from an angle I had never seen before, and damn.

 

[Duke]

I thnk the Saab 9-7X is worse, to be perfectly honest. I didn't think that until now, but when I was searching for that image I ran across a wallpaper-sized shot from an angle I had never seen before, and damn.

You're joking, right? Or maybe you're just confused from looking at Bangle panel lines. Because that Saab you posted looks decent and I could even *gasp* consider having one in my driveway, if I didn't know it was an overpriced GM SUV under there.

But if I wanted something as ugly as that Subaru, I'd actually import a recent Alfa and feel smug about myself instead of waking up one morning and slapping myself silly when I realized what'd I'd done.

 

[1X83Z]

You're joking, right? Or maybe you're just confused from looking at Bangle panel lines. Because that Saab you posted looks decent and I could even *gasp* consider having one in my driveway, if I didn't know it was an overpriced GM SUV under there.

Maybe - but you're talking to someone who was seriously considering a Mercury Mariner as an alternative to a Mercedes E55, because I think the Mariner has a cool-looking front. Basically, disregard everything I've ever said regarding automotive styling.

 

[-Fred-]

But if I wanted something as ugly as that Subaru, I'd actually import a recent Alfa and feel smug about myself instead of waking up one morning and slapping myself silly when I realized what'd I'd done.

I'll disagree with you on that, I think the current Alfas are anything but ugly. I'd call them beautiful, even. That grille treatment has been on every Alfa since their beginning, it works well for that reason. Subaru's new image will simply not work, IMO. Can you seriously imagine a Legacy or Impreza with that front end on it?

 

[Duke]

Basically, disregard everything I've ever said regarding automotive styling.

I do, don't worry. In fact, that's the only thing preventing me from deifying you as my automotive Oracle.

 

[1X83Z]

Can you seriously imagine a Legacy or Impreza with that front end on it?

Man. Leg debuted in late 2004 meaning they'll touch it up in calendar 2007... let's hope they hold off on that ungodly hell until its full redesign a couple years after that.

Then again, there's probably a classy way to do it.

 

[LSQuicksilver]

I saw one at NAIAS in turd brown.

It took hours to recover.

 

[VIPFREAK]

My dad keeps telling me the reason why cars come out the way they do is because that's what the people want. If this is so uh... I'd be pretty scared to meet these people. He also mention that it's because what the company pres. likes and well uh... if that's the case... How the 🤬 hell are they still in business??

 

[neanderthal]

i dont know who subaru is trying to appeal to with that hideous thing.

its up there with the aztek and current 7 series.

i dont even know who styled that and thought it was attractive. or who was the lead designer and signed off on it. and who was on the board that approved it for construction and sale.

they must all be blind. and impaired too. even a blind man would shield his eyes from that. heck all my senses hurt from me looking at that pic.

 

[Blackbird.]

MazKid showed me this a few weeks ago and I had one word for it "ugly". I'm sure it's a good performing car and all but I need styling to go with it.

 

[Jay]

I can imagine an Alfa front on that. I dont like this new Subaru front they are trying to market.

 

[Sage]

Subaru execs: Hey, we were an airplane-related company – let's stick airplane motifs on our next car!
Designers: Cool!

Public: ****heads.

Yeah. Lord knows our family loves Subarus—I mean, does anybody else at GTP have a BRAT?—but this is just ugly, not Subaru-loveable-quirky. It makes the Audi Q7 look good (not easy to do).

 

[VIPFREAK]

**** I'd take (relatively) a Audi Q7 any day over the Subaru. It just looks like they ripped off Porsche.

💡 Audi owns Porsche... or was it Porsche owns Audi or was it VW or...

 

[Sage]

The VW Toureg and Porsche Cayenne are based on the same chassis thingie, and so will the new Q7.

Too bad it's got a mouth that looks like it's made for inhaling Mini Coopers.

 

[-Fred-]

Whoa, you've got a BRAT?

 

[VIPFREAK]

It just looks like they ripped off Porsche.

Actually... I take that back... I make it sound like I like the Porsche more than the Audi when I really don't like any of those retarded SUVs.

 

[Sage]

Whoa, you've got a BRAT?

You didn't know? Yup, we do. It doesn't run though – hasn't for the past 5 years. I'd love to have it restored someday.