The General Relationship Thread

[Team THRT Drift]

Bring up her number in a conversation.

 

[phillgt2002]

Got rid of my Yee Yee haircut.

 

[phillgt2002]

Ok weird question I started a new job on a contract and there's this girl that I spent talking to basically all day. We talked about lots of stuff and it was good. Not that I want to ask her out straight away but since Im not going to be working there all the time I move around a lot how do I get to stay in contact with a girl at work without being creepy about it? This is an office job by the way. We seem to have a lot in common and I found it easy to talk to her.

After ending a part of a conversation, just casually say "We should get together and chill sometime." Then you just ask if she's busy. Asking someone out doesn't have to be as complicated as you think. "Get together and chill sometime" sounds a-lot better than asking "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

 

[Johnnypenso]

Should've quoted, my bad.

I don't usually have personal things and quite open so its fine by me .
I'm quite in the area of questioning my sexual orientation. It started when I realized everyone in my group has been in a relationship. I started wondering if there was a problem with me but realized, I never had a single moment of getting in a relationship or sex unlike my peers and others around me. It is quite confusing me.

Have you talked with anyone about this? Are you doing anything specifically to figure this out?

Ok weird question I started a new job on a contract and there's this girl that I spent talking to basically all day. We talked about lots of stuff and it was good. Not that I want to ask her out straight away but since Im not going to be working there all the time I move around a lot how do I get to stay in contact with a girl at work without being creepy about it? This is an office job by the way. We seem to have a lot in common and I found it easy to talk to her.

Fortune favours the bold. If she digs you she'll say yes. Women/girls make up their minds about you pretty quickly most of the time. Just make the first date informal, like a movie, or some fun event or something along those lines.

 

[watermelon punch]

Ok weird question I started a new job on a contract and there's this girl that I spent talking to basically all day. We talked about lots of stuff and it was good. Not that I want to ask her out straight away but since Im not going to be working there all the time I move around a lot how do I get to stay in contact with a girl at work without being creepy about it? This is an office job by the way. We seem to have a lot in common and I found it easy to talk to her.

After ending a part of a conversation, just casually say "We should get together and chill sometime." Then you just ask if she's busy. Asking someone out doesn't have to be as complicated as you think. "Get together and chill sometime" sounds a-lot better than asking "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

I disagree. "Get together & chill sometime" sounds like someone who's a waffler & won't be straight up about what they want, or someone trying to be tricky about it because they're doing something shady, or perhaps even worse, it could come off as cowardly.
Appearing to be sneaky or hemming & hawing about it is the #1 common thing that makes some guys seem like creeps.
Outside of just being way too forward or not taking no for an answer, which are even worse creepy things to do.

Have you talked with anyone about this? Are you doing anything specifically to figure this out?

Fortune favours the bold. If she digs you she'll say yes. Women/girls make up their minds about you pretty quickly most of the time. Just make the first date informal, like a movie, or some fun event or something along those lines.

+1

Though in a work situation, I would first ask if she's married.
If she's not she'll say so and give you a further indication of whether you should go any further.
And if she's not but she's in a relationship, she'll volunteer that information right away so that you don't go any further with that line of inquiry. 👍 And that way everything will remain as normal from there on out.

Though one thing you don't want to do is ask if she's married, and when she says yes, launch all Casanova and go on & on about how you would've liked to show her a good time.
I say this because that happened to me last summer at my place of work. It wasn't a coworker (thank goodness!), it was just someone who stopped by. A couple of my coworkers thought I should've been flattered, but they weren't there alone at the time to see this guy who was, at the time, wearing sunglasses after dark.

 

[Com Fox]

Have you talked with anyone about this? Are you doing anything specifically to figure this out?

I usually like to keep a lot of things to myself however I have been coming to think I'm maybe an Asexual after awhile.

 

[Team THRT Drift]

I usually like to keep a lot of things to myself however I have been coming to think I'm maybe an Asexual after awhile.

Don't worry. I've had the same feeling. I was just indifferent to every face I saw. I was neutral.

I've gone through that feeling of doubt many times before in my life.

It'll subside soon, don't fret.

 

[phillgt2002]

I disagree. "Get together & chill sometime" sounds like someone who's a waffler & won't be straight up about what they want, or someone trying to be tricky about it because they're doing something shady, or perhaps even worse, it could come off as cowardly.
Appearing to be sneaky or hemming & hawing about it is the #1 common thing that makes some guys seem like creeps.
Outside of just being way too forward or not taking no for an answer, which are even worse creepy things to do.

What?...What?


Dude, there is nothing wrong with what I mentioned. It's not like a person will say that without specifying what they'd want to do. Things are only creepy when you make it creepy. If a person follows up with the question of "what do you want to do?" then you specify.

I highly doubt that he has come off as creepy to her if she continues conversing with him. What I said is the perfect way to let someone know that you're interested in getting to know them.

I'm pretty sure dating is just beating around the bush until two decide to have sex... that's all that's to it..

 

[Johnnypenso]

I usually like to keep a lot of things to myself however I have been coming to think I'm maybe an Asexual after awhile.

We have many asexuals up here in the Great White North. Except we refer to them as eh-sexuals

. Canadian humour

On a more serious note, so you are you saying your sex drive is low? Have you seen a doctor about it if that's the case, to rule out a physical cause?

What?...What?

Dude, there is nothing wrong with what I mentioned. It's not like a person will say that without specifying what they'd want to do. Things are only creepy when you make it creepy. If a person follows up with the question of "what do you want to do?" then you specify.

I highly doubt that he has come off as creepy to her if she continues conversing with him. What I said is the perfect way to let someone know that you're interested in getting to know them.

I'm pretty sure dating is just beating around the bush until two decide to have sex... that's all that's to it..

Yeah, last time I checked, Punch wasn't a dude

 

[phillgt2002]

We have many asexuals up here in the Great White North. Except we refer to them as eh-sexuals

. Canadian humour

On a more serious note, so you are you saying your sex drive is low? Have you seen a doctor about it if that's the case, to rule out a physical cause?

Yeah, last time I checked, Punch wasn't a dude

I don't think I ever mentioned Punch to be any gender. I was talking about the response that I made to Cobra..

 

[Johnnypenso]

I don't think I ever mentioned Punch to be any gender. I was talking about the response that I made to Cobra..

You quoted here and called her dude

 

[phillgt2002]

You quoted here and called her dude

Oh. I say 'dude' to anyone of any gender. Just a habit You can tell it's a habit if I didn't even notice it.

 

[Com Fox]

We have many asexuals up here in the Great White North. Except we refer to them as eh-sexuals

. Canadian humour

On a more serious note, so you are you saying your sex drive is low? Have you seen a doctor about it if that's the case, to rule out a physical cause?

Yeah, last time I checked, Punch wasn't a dude

No I haven't. Though I'm waiting for awhile. Maybe a few years, just to see if I'm actually asexual or there is someone I want in my life. It ain't bothering me that much as I focus more on School, Work, Draing and Gaming more than relationships and my sexuality

 

[Cobra_GT500]

Well unfortunatelly my job finished pretty quickly after a week of working there lol. Maybe thats a good thing i guess so i dont do anything stupid. Im getting another job in a 3 month contract a lot better than this one so ill just take what comes at me lol. If i find a girl great and yeah you guys are right i have to be carefull with things like this dont want to get on peoples bad sides at work lol. Thanks all for the advice anyway

 

[watermelon punch]

@Cobra_GT500
Work is a tough spot. Hard to navigate socially. Good luck!

And re: creepiness.
#1 way to not be creepy... don't creep.
The very definition is pretty explanatory of itself. 👍

@RESHIRAM5
Just wanted to say, I wasn't ignoring your question/situation. Just that I don't think what you're talking about is actually abnormal.
I guess my only advice would be just in general to eat more vegetables.

 

[Team THRT Drift]

eat more vegetables.

Love that subtle message.





Oh wait, you're serious.





Well... I took it as a subtle message...





Traumfrau *Dream girl* really hit home for me. Basically what I go through every night... toss and turn, trying to make it through the night.


"Out in the world I'm just stressed, hectic, but only a
Moment with you and my worries are gone
Nothing can disturb this peace, except every morning
waking up and realizing that you're not there"

Really hits home...

Translation

 

[watermelon punch]

Eat more vegetables is my catch-all default advice.

 

[Johnnypenso]

No I haven't. Though I'm waiting for awhile. Maybe a few years, just to see if I'm actually asexual or there is someone I want in my life. It ain't bothering me that much as I focus more on School, Work, Draing and Gaming more than relationships and my sexuality

Waiting is fine if that's what you want to do, but I still think you should see a doctor to rule out any medical issues. There could be some underlying health issue that may need attention.

 

[curtis 1-8-7]

After 4 months together my gf broke up with me just because I told her that I had tryed to smoke cigarettes before...I don't even know what to do...I feel terrible (Btw,Sorry for my bad english).

 

[phillgt2002]

After 4 months together my gf broke up with me just because I told her that I had tryed to smoke cigarettes before...I don't even know what to do...I feel terrible (Btw,Sorry for my bad english).

Really? She sounds too serious. Honestly, just move on. In relationships you should be able to disclose information without the other getting mad. If you can tell them the truth with them understanding, that's the kind of relationship anyone would want.

 

[curtis 1-8-7]

Really? She sounds too serious. Honestly, just move on. In relationships you should be able to disclose information without the other getting mad. If you can tell them the truth with them understanding, that's the kind of relationship anyone would want.

We been talking about it,I asked her to take some time,she told me that she would do it,but I'm not holding my breath over it...

Oh and she hasn't stopped talking to me,asking about what I'm doing and all that stuff,I'm confused about what should I do lol...

 

[watermelon punch]

Sometimes it's not really about the cigarettes. 💡

 

[Cale]

We been talking about it,I asked her to take some time,she told me that she would do it,but I'm not holding my breath over it...

Oh and she hasn't stopped talking to me,asking about what I'm doing and all that stuff,I'm confused about what should I do lol...

Start cutting ties with her. It's the best thing.

 

[cnd01]

We been talking about it,I asked her to take some time,she told me that she would do it,but I'm not holding my breath over it...

Oh and she hasn't stopped talking to me,asking about what I'm doing and all that stuff,I'm confused about what should I do lol...

I would find another girl.

 

[Team THRT Drift]

My ex used to smoke behind my back. She knew I hated the idea of smoking so she kept it a secret.

I caught her one day when she came home and frantically looked for another shirt.

We got into a pretty nasty fight. She would try and flip the argument and make it my fault. I gave her an ultimatum and made her quit.

*slowly, not immediately go cold turkey*


---------------------------------------------

Anyone find their cousins annoying...?

I'm starting to really dislike my cousin because he thinks he knows everything... It's so 🤬 annoying!!!


He tries to help at the worst times possible and what he thinks are tips for me, have become common sense for me.


When he tries to argue about cars... oh dear.

You put up with people who are thick, but he is on a whole other level!

 

[Com Fox]

My ex used to smoke behind my back. She knew I hated the idea of smoking so she kept it a secret.

I caught her one day when she came home and frantically looked for another shirt.

We got into a pretty nasty fight. She would try and flip the argument and make it my fault. I gave her an ultimatum and made her quit.

*slowly, not immediately go cold turkey*

While I don't have any experience with relationships. I'm personally against Ultimatums in terms of relationships (I've seen and heard about them a lot since everyone of my friends has been in relationships). Its either taking away something that personifies you or in some cases your lifestyle or career, or keeping one person (Though I can let that one slide since Smoking is rather a bad habit and it will help her to stop though you sounded like you wanted her to stop for your own gain and not what's best for her).

 

[Team THRT Drift]

While I don't have any experience with relationships. I'm personally against Ultimatums in terms of relationships (I've seen and heard about them a lot since everyone of my friends has been in relationships). Its either taking away something that personifies you or in some cases your lifestyle or career, or keeping one person (Though I can let that one slide since Smoking is rather a bad habit and it will help her to stop though you sounded like you wanted her to stop for your own gain and not what's best for her).

It was both for her best interests and mine. I was worried about her more than anything.

I grew up in a smoking environment, so the smell of burning nicotene and tar and tobacco doesn't bother me.

If she smoked pure tobacco, which she didn't, I wouldn't of been as worried.

 

[Legro]

Anyone find their cousins annoying...?

No. But my cousins are all under 7, and I don't find people under 7 even half as annoying than people over 7.

 

[Com Fox]

No. But my cousins are all under 7, and I don't find people under 7 even half as annoying than people over 7.

All my cousins on my Mum side are under 10 with the exception of 2. Though there was a huge fight during Christmas with my 1 of my Cousins, Mum, Brother, Aunties and Uncles at Christmas while they were drunk. Pretty much securing myself as a Straight Edge. Though it got frustrations when everyone after that was 🤬 about each other. Though me, the other over 10 cousin and a few friends of my relatives stayed hidden in the TV Room and just chilled satisfying me for Christmas .

 

[Cale]

My ex used to smoke behind my back. She knew I hated the idea of smoking so she kept it a secret.

I caught her one day when she came home and frantically looked for another shirt.

We got into a pretty nasty fight. She would try and flip the argument and make it my fault. I gave her an ultimatum and made her quit.

*slowly, not immediately go cold turkey*

Ugh I went through the same ****. My ex started smoking on lunch breaks at work with her d bag co-workers. Told her if I could smell smoke I wouldn't go near her, and if she started buying her own cigs it'd be over. Luckily it was just a phase, although I wouldn't be surprised if she started up again after we broke up.