The General Relationship Thread

Discussion in 'The Rumble Strip' started by Type S Tony, May 11, 2011.

  1. nostradavor2

    nostradavor2

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    Oh, ok, in theory I agree with that... But in reality it's not always the case. In fact most of the time it isn't.. Modern days we live in don't really follow rules of nature.
     
  2. kikie

    kikie Premium

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    It is what I read.
     
  3. nostradavor2

    nostradavor2

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    Ok bro, you told me that.. I just want to share with you what I'm seeing .. Nevermind..

    I saw movements lately like incels or whatever stupid name they have, watched it to have a laugh.. Please don't read things like that because these losers have nothing to do with reality.. Let's face it, you can racionalize anything and someone will think it makes sense ..

    Im just saying because it sounds something like that type of thing...

    But genetics mosf definitely DO matter, very much..
     
  4. kikie

    kikie Premium

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    It is what I read.

    I have stupid genes, I'm still single. I have been for a long time. I blame it on my genes. I tried many times but my genes make me do stupid things, say stupid things.

    I believe, in my case that what I read is correct.
     
  5. nostradavor2

    nostradavor2

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    Ok mate..
    May I ask you if you meet people to date online or in real world?
     
  6. W3HS

    W3HS Premium

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    You’ll have trouble finding somebody with that attitude.
     
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  7. nostradavor2

    nostradavor2

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    Exactly.. But I didn't want to say it.

    Also be dominant.. If you are not dominant, learn to act like you are.. And stop reading what crybabies write .. Unless you are like extremely ugly+short+badly build+poor+ add more random thinhs all in combo forget about genes and DO NOT show you are desperate to find someone to the other person..
     
  8. kikie

    kikie Premium

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    No, my attitude is normal, I was only joking around. But you don't seem to get that.

    It was what I read. About genes being the reason that some people can't find a girlfriend.


    In all seriousness this time. I never look online to find a date. I don't go out, stay home a lot and where I go to are not the best places to meet girls. I spend a lot of time in the gym and that is not the place to meet someone, although it happened once.

    I use to be very shy because of being bullied for the way that I look. It started when I was around 13 y.o. until I was around my early twenties. But this bad experience made me into the person that I am and makes it very difficult to attract girls. When I'm not interested, I'm myself and every contact with girls is normal. But when I'm interested, I can't be myself anymore. I use to be very desperate. Maybe I still am without knowing it. Thinking that I'm not desperate anymore doesn't make it true. I still have a inferiority complex, although it is much, much, much less than it uses to be.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2019
  9. Team THRT Drift

    Team THRT Drift

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    :lol:


    This is like a Russ song come to life. It's not that dire, mate.
     
  10. nostradavor2

    nostradavor2

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    Didn't explain it very well when I posted this..
    Btw Had to google what Russ is lol

    But anyways, at the end it is pretty simple people just like to overthink and overanalyze things
     
  11. Ze Elephant

    Ze Elephant

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    I guess things have changed a lot since I was last active in this thread. (Post writing update: Apologies for how scattered this post is. I guess there's a lot on my mind and it all wants to come out. I'm not here to write a book, so I decided to just stop writing at a point.)

    Just over six months ago my then-girlfriend broke up with me. We had been together for nearly four years, and I apparently hadn't seen the flags and signs that she had lost interest in me since around July of '18. She broke up with me on October 8th after bringing up her thoughts and concerns in late September. I was too scared and attached to look objectively at the situation. I didn't want to lose her because that relationship was all I had and knew from age 16-20. I changed a lot because of her, and I'm glad to be the person that I am now. But I'm also still immensely broken. I was totally and completely shattered for weeks after she broke up with me. Even to this point, I can count on one hand the times when I've felt genuinely happy since we had been dating, and I haven't felt like that for more than a couple of minutes.

    I know I have a history of depression. It runs in my family, with my dad and both of my siblings all having struggled or are currently struggling with it. My girlfriend was my primary motivation and "stability" that helped me cope with my depression for years. She gave me a goal to work towards with marriage and eventual family life that gave me hope, and having somebody that close and in a truly loving relationship was all that I had wanted. I felt happier and felt that, with my very deepest desire of a meaningful relationship filled, I was enabled to truly apply myself and engage with the other things I care about. I was never 100% with depression, but I feel like I was coping much better than I am currently.

    Ever since then, I've been mostly depressed and empty. I've tried doubling down on my faith, but no matter how much I continue to apply myself to it I just don't feel like my life "clicks". The most I do that feels like something is right is at work. I can typically apply myself, see results, and take some pride in what I do. My coworkers are a great group of guys, and they are most of the social interaction I get.

    I asked a girl out a couple months ago and felt giddy for what I thought was going to be the start of something new, but very poor communication and a conversation that lead to me discovering her idea of a relaxing Sunday was staying at home and getting stoned put up all of the red flags I needed. Beyond that, I'm mostly introverted and tend to only do things at work, at church, and at home. I'm pretty lost on actually meeting new people and really unsure of my future.
     
  12. Team THRT Drift

    Team THRT Drift

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    @Ze Elephant

    Don't take this the wrong way and definitely don't let this fester.

    Both you and your first love (I can't use the word ex for fear of inciting negative connotation) are very young. You both have a long way to go. I'm not discouraging you for feeling this way, nor am I saying you don't understand what true love is, etc etc.


    I've always hated the following saying as it was thrown at me from all directions during my break up but it has some truth in it.

    "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be."

    Maybe you just grew apart after some time and will rekindle something down the road. Or maybe you'll find someone right for you. Don't worry about the future and forget the past (mean this in the best way possible).

    I know you feel like she's your world and she's the only one in your life that made you feel a certain way. To some extent, I'll be honest with you, that is true.

    However you cannot give up on your life goals. You may have developed them with your first love but that doesn't mean you cannot complete them.




    Raise your chin, appreciate the moments you've had with her, and be proud of who you've become thus far. If you have some issues you need to work on, then get your head in the game, focus, and work on it.

    Push through the days where it feels like you're in a thick sludge and can't get anywhere. Push through them with your goals in sight and clear mind on your next objectives.


    Don't let it drag you down. Easier said than done, I know, but you're not alone in this, brother.




    As an aside:

    Don't do this until you have this question clear in your mind: do you miss her or do you miss the idea of a relationship?

    Jumping into a relationship missing your first love will turn sour real quick.

    Jumping into a relationship because you miss the idea of a relationship will end even worse.
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2019
  13. Ze Elephant

    Ze Elephant

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    Thinking about what I wrote, I really could have done a better job with being more accurate or using the right words.

    Much closer to the break up I was more... well... broken up, but right now I'm in a much better head state than back then. Weekends are the toughest times for me since I don't have work to occupy my time, and this past weekend wasn't an exception. Some days depression hits really hard, some days not.

    As for rekindling down the road, I'm confident in saying my primary goal is fully moving on and moving forward. Looking back at her actions and what our relationship was, I can tell that she wasn't the one. She wasn't always interested in a sharing the work of being in a relationship, and, on further though, was actually pretty selfish and could be quite manipulative. Nonetheless, I don't harbor any anger against her.

    A better way to put this is that, at the time, I felt like she was the reason that I could be happy and pursue my hobbies better. Thinking about it more, I think the actual difference was that, since I had made her my primary coping mechanism for depression, I thought I needed her to be happy and want to pursue my other interests. Wow, that was definitely not a healthy thing to do.


    This is a complicated one. I can say for certain that I do miss both her and the relationship we had, but sort of in the same way I could say I miss elementary school. Not a longing to have it back, but more of a look back at what it was and remembering the positives. Do I want to be in a relationship? Yes. Am I dependent on needing one to move forward in my life? I don't think so. I would say it's a goal that I have, but

    Also my giddiness could probably be attributed equal parts 1) looking forward to the potential of what might be, and 2) not believing that I actually had the stones to ask this girl to dinner. As it was, with (let's just use her first initial) L., I never really even asked her out. Things worked out a bit differently and it was more of a formality that she insisted on that I ask in order for things to be "official". "Rules" I didn't understand in high school and sound really stupid now that I write it out. This half was definitely me proving myself wrong, and was a good self-esteem boost.
     
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