The General Relationship Thread

[MarinaDiamandis]

Missed this.

Confidence encompases everything. Being funny, or witty, or intelligent in conversation won't work well if you aren't confident, it will just be awkward and/or boring. You will come off as a try-hard or a creep. Watch a lecturer who isn't delivering their material with confidence - you'll soon switch off.

I'm confident, and so I can be anything I like at anytime - funny, sincere, shy, or whatever else. I don't need to be 'good' at any of those things specifically because i'm not trying to be any one of those things - confidence makes them all work naturally and effortlessly. I don't think about it, it just happens, and it works because of that.

When something goes well (a cute girl laughs at a silly situational observation you made, for example) it is typically because it was done with confidence. She sees your confidence, she feels at ease, and she lets her emotions show by laughing. Laughing is a human bonding behaviour, more laughter = more bonding (except when you are telling joke after joke like a hired entertainer).

Ballsy responses are normal to you, they're not normal to everyone.

My responses weren't ballsy, they were what normal people say. Stringing it out with details that aren't needed is awkward.

How is saying "I'm hungry, let's go eat" ballsy?

When I first meet someone I am interested in, I am myself. After a while, I'm still myself. And later on, I'm still myself.

Why do you keep repeating this? I never said that I change myself for a girl at any point.

Like I said I know it sounds terrible but I can't help my feelings. That girl could definitely be my wife if we were together. She is the one I truely want but I don't want to leave my current GF hanging and break her heart because she is a really good girl....Please help me lol

You already know the answer, split with your girlfriend. Stop lying to yourself and her and end it.

 

[Slash]

The thi\ng is my girlfriend is a good girl. I don't want to ruin the relationship we've built up over the last few years, plus I ended it last time...so that would make me look bad.

Besdies teh fact that I'll never get the girl I want anyways...she even blocked me from Facebook....

 

[MarinaDiamandis]

So you're staying with your girlfriend because:

1. You don't want to look bad.

and

2. You'll never get the girl you actually want, so would rather keep your current girl as a safety net.

Read that back, give your balls a quick squeeze, and do the right thing.

 

[Slash]

So you're staying with your girlfriend because:

1. You don't want to look bad.

and

2. You'll never get the girl you actually want, so would rather keep your current girl as a safety net.

Read that back, give your balls a quick squeeze, and do the right thing.

That's pretty much it and even I know it....

What would be the point of leaving the girl I have if I can't get the one I actually want? Then I'm out both ways...

 

[MarinaDiamandis]

That's pretty much it and even I know it....

What would be the point of leaving the girl I have if I can't get the one I actually want? Then I'm out both ways...

Staying with a girl that you don't actually want (let's face it, you don't) while she still fully believes that you do is playing with her feelings. Not a cool move.

Either take the advice or stop asking questions that you already know the answer to. No point asking if you're going to do what you want regardless.

 

[Slash]

I guess :/ I probably leave her then.



Now lets say I leave her. This other girl I found out is in a relationship that is usually off and on. Given the fact that she doesn't really like me that much how would I go about getting her attention and changing her feelings towards me. I'm pretty sure theres no chance period, but what would it take? I'm dead set on making her mine if it's the last thing I ever do.

 

[SlipZtrEm]

What Marina said, basically, Slash. It will hurt, it will suck, but in the long run, it's the fair and right thing to do, not just for her, but for you too. Besides, you're young, and not to sound like a cliché-spitting grandpa, but there will be plenty of other girls in the long run 👍.

 

[DarkAvengerZR1]

The thi\ng is my girlfriend is a good girl. I don't want to ruin the relationship we've built up over the last few years, plus I ended it last time...so that would make me look bad.

Besdies teh fact that I'll never get the girl I want anyways...she even blocked me from Facebook....

Wow, i have read your whole history, and i agree with what have been said, sadly, you don't really want to be with your actual girlfriend, you just don't want to make she sad... that is a bit of cute, but think with me, if you really like her that much, as a good person, shouldn't you let her find someone who trully loves her?

About this other girl, i was about to tell you to go for her, say everything you want and you feel... because the worse thing you can get is a straight and dry no in the face. BUT... i've read the comment i just quoted... why did she blocked you in Facebook? If you don't feel like talking here, send me a PM...

 

[W3H5]

Besdies teh fact that I'll never get the girl I want anyways...

I feel your pain, I really do. Sympathies to you man. Chin up.

 

[Slash]

What Marina said, basically, Slash. It will hurt, it will suck, but in the long run, it's the fair and right thing to do, not just for her, but for you too. Besides, you're young, and not to sound like a cliché-spitting grandpa, but there will be plenty of other girls in the long run 👍.

I love her but not like I would the pother if that makes sense. I know it would be the right thing to do. Thaks for the advice everyone.

Wow, i have read your whole history, and i agree with what have been said, sadly, you don't really want to be with your actual girlfriend, you just don't want to make she sad... that is a bit of cute, but think with me, if you really like her that much, as a good person, shouldn't you let her find someone who trully loves her?

About this other girl, i was about to tell you to go for her, say everything you want and you feel... because the worse thing you can get is a straight and dry no in the face. BUT... i've read the comment i just quoted... why did she blocked you in Facebook? If you don't feel like talking here, send me a PM...

This is the same reason we split last time because I didn't feel it anymore. I thought maybe a spark had reignited but it's dying now. And yes I don't want to hurt her because she loves me leaps and bounds and I know it too...Ugh.

I'll send you a PM in a second. But I did just what you told me. Spilled myself. Never got a reply and bam blocked. Last time I talked to her in person I got a big fat EEEEWWWWWW to my face.I've lost hope but something inside me keeps driving me to go get her.

And apart from that I just found out shes back with that dude doing the on-off thing again. :/

 

[MarinaDiamandis]

I'm pretty sure theres no chance period, but what would it take? I'm dead set on making her mine if it's the last thing I ever do.

Having read that you spilled your feelings, no chance. Creepzoned in the most extreme way possible. Want her? Disappear for 2-3 years, totally re-invent yourself, then come back and try again!

Well, there is probably another way, but it's far from guaranteed to work and you'll need balls like spacehoppers to carry it off.

If you don't feel like talking here, send me a PM...

Watch out, Slash, DA is on the hunt now that you're (almost) single!

 

[DarkAvengerZR1]

For this we need more details. Why did she block you on FaceAche?

Watch out, Slash, DA is on the hunt now that you're (almost) single!

Of course not. If i was hunting a prey, this forums has more than enough.

 

[MarinaDiamandis]

Of course not. If i was hunting a prey, this forums has more than enough.

Leave Keef alone.

 

[X R 8]

 

[Slash]

Having read that you spilled your feelings, no chance. Creepzoned in the most extreme way possible. Want her? Disappear for 2-3 years, totally re-invent yourself, then come back and try again!

Well, there is probably another way, but it's far from guaranteed to work and you'll need balls like spacehoppers to carry it off.



Watch out, Slash, DA is on the hunt now that you're (almost) single!

God dammit. Stupid me. Too many people told me to go for it and let it all out. Also, I just found out that her Facebook got deleted, not that she blocked me. So I guess thats a plus but I may have been the reason....
EDIT: Turns out she made a deal with her boytoy to delete both of theirs :/

That is exactly what I didn't want to hear.

Of course not. If i was hunting a prey, this forums has more than enough.

 

[DarkAvengerZR1]

Having read that you spilled your feelings, no chance. Creepzoned in the most extreme way possible. Want her? Disappear for 2-3 years, totally re-invent yourself, then come back and try again!

Well, there is probably another way, but it's far from guaranteed to work and you'll need balls like spacehoppers to carry it off.

What other way? And yes... re-invent yourself... if i were you, i would make she fell on my feet, then i would step on... just a little, and say: See? This is how it feels... cool isn't it?

Revenge! MOUAHAHAHA

 

[Slash]

What other way? And yes... re-invent yourself... if i were you, i would make she fell on my feet, then i would step on... just a little, and say: See? This is how it feels... cool isn't it?

Revenge! MOUAHAHAHA

I'm not going to lie I changed almost everything I could about me. The way I see it is that if it works out with her all of this will be worth it....(I'm going to get a lot of flack for this one)....

 

[MarinaDiamandis]

What other way?

Play her at her own game. It's worked for me before, but it can get quite... heated.

 

[DarkAvengerZR1]

Play her at her own game. It's worked for me before, but it can get quite... heated.

Like ignore her and those kind of stuff? Lol

Sorry, but play her ar her own game is giving me a hard time to really understand it.

 

[Slash]

I tried that one. Didn't work either lol. I've done everything I can think of. I've even had legit dreams of this girl. Just last night (and this is partially why I started posting here today) I had one where we were together, just talking and one thing lead to another and I took her hand....and she wrapped hers around mine and we just sayed together for hours all happy and such. It made me feel great and I woke up thinking my life would be complete the day that happens.

 

[W3H5]

Slash, seriously, I'm having very similar issues to what you are. I won't go into detail here because I've done it in the Infield already but the fact is I have to learn to get over it for the sake of my job, my sanity and most importantly my wife!

It breaks my heart how I feel about this person and I see her on a daily basis but I know there is nothing I can do about it without screwing everything up and ruining both of our lives.

Sometimes love is better off forgotten.

Sad but true.

 

[Slash]

Slash, seriously, I'm having very similar issues to what you are. I won't go into detail here because I've done it in the Infield already but the fact is I have to learn to get over it for the sake of my job, my sanity and most importantly my wife!

It breaks my heart how I feel about this person and I see her on a daily basis but I know there is nothing I can do about it without screwing everything up and ruining both of our lives.

Sometimes love is better off forgotten.

Sad but true.

I'm not premo anymore or I'd chime in over in the Infield blut feel free to PM about it whenever you want. Maybe we could help each other out.

That sounds about how I feel other than I'm not married, just witha girlfriend. Its unfortunate but I think you're right in this case.

 

[W3H5]

Can't say too much now because I'm in the office, and like I said, I can't risk anyone finding out. I'll PM you later, I might be able to help you out with some advice. 👍

 

[Slash]

Totally understand man, hit me up when you can. But yeah it kills me seeing her everyday...just knowing that it'll never be. It's like a part of me died inside.

 

[DarkAvengerZR1]

 

[Slash]

I guess nothing I do is ever good enough. Someday.

 

[DarkAvengerZR1]

She doesn't deserve your tears, man...

 

[Slash]

She doesn't deserve your tears, man...

From what you've all told me I'm starting to beleive it. But I know I'll be back like this again eventually. I've been down this road before and it always comes back to this. We shall see how this plays out.

 

[W3H5]

Slash, try taking your head out of the equation.

I know it seems impossible to take your mind off this girl but do you have a bicycle? Ride across New York on it and don't stop until you've done 30 miles. I guarantee that whole time you'll be so focused on achieving that goal and dodging traffic/ pedestrians that your mind will clear for a bit. Anything that requires you full attention and effort.

Then it's just a case of keeping your mind occupied.

You wouldn't imagine the lengths I'm going to to deal with my situation, I'm talking transcontinental bicycle rides, World Record breaking motorcycle rides, marathons and everything that I need to do to complete these things including finding sponsorship and getting in top shape for it.

Is it working? Kind of. I still have moments when I feel like I want to erase her from my mind because it hurts to think about her, but I'm trying really hard.

I guess it also helps that I recognise the issue I have and have had enough experience in the past to know sort of how to deal with it.

 

[Slash]

Slash, try taking your head out of the equation.

I know it seems impossible to take your mind off this girl but do you have a bicycle? Ride across New York on it and don't stop until you've done 30 miles. I guarantee that whole time you'll be so focused on achieving that goal and dodging traffic/ pedestrians that your mind will clear for a bit. Anything that requires you full attention and effort.

Then it's just a case of keeping your mind occupied.

You wouldn't imagine the lengths I'm going to to deal with my situation, I'm talking transcontinental bicycle rides, World Record breaking motorcycle rides, marathons and everything that I need to do to complete these things including finding sponsorship and getting in top shape for it.

Is it working? Kind of. I still have moments when I feel like I want to erase her from my mind because it hurts to think about her, but I'm trying really hard.

I guess it also helps that I recognise the issue I have and have had enough experience in the past to know sort of how to deal with it.

I do have a bike. I suppose I'll try to do that, it's cold out now though XD. I'll try doing that all because my mind is on her 24/7. As long as it rids of the pain then I'll be happy. Becasue lord knows how bad, just really how bad I have longed for this girl. You're right it hurts like hell thinking about her. When I saw her get on the bus this morning all I thought was damn. I almost lost it on the way to school but I kept it together, especially just having that dream I had looked forward to seeing her sweet face in the morning.

I think this girl is the only girl I've had a true passion for....a real love. I mean yeah I've liked other girls before but nothing can compare to the feeling this girl has given me.I look at her and I just melt. Every time, all the time. I'm an emotional train wreck.