The General Relationship Thread

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Wall of text...

Hey bro! I appreciatte you took the time to write all that, thanks a lot. After all this time, I've finally decided not to talk about that with her anymore... I made one final try, but got another "I don't know"...

I'll just leave it there. If she doesn't want to see me, fine. I'll grant her her wish... All the SMS messages and phonecalls count for nothing when we can't see us face to face to make things straight...
 
The thing is she knows about this...it's not something I've kept hidden from her. It doesn't seem to phase her.
 
I wonder if this fits here, but I'll post it.

I am asked why I have friendships with more girls than guys. Constantly asked this. To tell the truth, I think it's because a lot of the guys (but not all) that are in my school think that they're God's gift to women. The few that don't are the ones that I do hang out with.

But, getting back on track. I'm asked this - not on Facebook, but in general life - which could be because I refuse to take any crap on Facebook and barely use it anyway. But, being constantly asked if I'm a ladies' man who can't choose which one to be with (not many people know I have a girlfriend, she asked to keep it quiet - not because her parents being an issue, but because of her attitude to the whole societal concept of a relationship - apparently, being with someone just leads to gossiping and questions if you've 'done the deed' yet - I share the same opinion of society myself.)

It's getting annoying. It really is. I'm a very good listener and 'amateur psychiatrist', as people around me put it - I can listen to your stories and problems, and offer suggestions while helping you out along the way - it's just who I am. This does lead to conflicting times, like when one girl confessed to me that she liked one guy - and another girl told me she liked the same guy. (He happened to be a jerk, and I told both of them that.)

Generally, I can deal with these issues from others well - I've learned to be unemotional when in the guise of a shrink, and I also never tell anyone a thing. But, people notice my 'work' sometimes, and they ask, and that leads to questions about whether I'm one of the people I despise, a womanizer. I'm not and never will be, but why in the 🤬 do people not understand that? (I'm considering getting a T-shirt made saying something along the lines of that.)

I'm asked for 'the tricks of the trade', since obviously I have some magic to get all the ladies - and I usually respond with a vindictiveness that I don't really show, giving a response like "I'd suggest being honest with a girl - tell her what you specifically want from her, but knowing you..."

Yes, I can be quite the arse when asked things like that because I'm not one of the guys who wants to get every girl possible - I'd rather have a platonic friendship with a girl than a relationship. It's just the way I interpret things - you can interpret it in the wrong ways if you want. I'm not 'God's gift to women', I'm just an average guy looking to be on the right path in life.

(And, if it isn't clear... I'm not gay, although I do have all the respect in the world for anyone regardless of gender, orientation, color, race, etc...)
 
Most of the guys in my school think that way as well...
 
It doesn't seem to phase her.
Not trying to be mean here, but that's a whole lotta oh hell no bro. You may be right, it might not affect her, but if that's true, then you're going to have to find out just what she does feel, if she can feel at all. Because I don't know one person, not one, who wouldn't be hurt if they knew their significant other had feelings for somebody else! So while you might be right, I'm willing to bet that she's hiding it. Whether she's hiding it behind denial, or naivety I can't answer that. But if she's completely fine with everything you've said here, then she has some serious issues of her own to think about. Also, even if she is fine with it, it still doesn't make it okay. Being honorable is, often, doing something that is viewed as right or righteous, even though the alternative action isn't necessarily viewed as wrong or indecent. All that being said, I do understand where you're coming from with all this, I do. I think that feelings are out of our control - it is near impossible to change the feelings that emerge, once they're there, it's a little easier, but not much. How you act on those feelings is what defines you as a person, however. I grew feelings for another woman when I was engaged two years ago, but the first thing I did was tell my fiancée, and the second thing I did was completely cut the other woman out of my life. Was I in the right? No. Did I avoid heartbreak and pain as much as I possibly could? Yes.
 
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The thing is she knows about this...it's not something I've kept hidden from her. It doesn't seem to phase her.
LOL, you just keep believing that, then. The way you're going will bite you in the ass sooner or later.
 
I just got together with this girl named Lauren. Very pretty and generally nice person. It is almost unbelievable how much we have in common, except she doesn't play GT :lol: (Or games at all)

It only took me a year and a half to gather up the courage to ask her, lol. 👍

Hope it'll last.
 
The thing is she knows about this...it's not something I've kept hidden from her. It doesn't seem to phase her.
Bro.

If a girl tells you she isn't mad. That means she's REAL mad. She might not have errupted yet, but believe me, if you keep this up, she will. And it will be bad. Like, real bad. Fukushima-levels of bad.

Unless she's the kind of girls who thinks it's hot to be cheated on. Those girls seemingly appear only in porn though. Or so I've been told. Not that I'd have any first-hand experience with that...
 
Are you kidding me?!

How about you break up with your 'distraction' and let her go find someone who won't lust after her best friend then act like it's some victimising hardship they haven't brought on themselves.

Spot on. In my opinion Slash, you should dump your current girlfriend and be single for a while until you get your head on straight. You have no idea what you really want and you've obviously got the "grass is greener" syndrome going on. When you talk about these deep feelings for another person you haven't even dated or spent any time with, that's not love, it's just infatuation. You're in love with something that doesn't exist, a fantasy. I have no idea how old you are, if you're 15 that's normal, if you're in your 20's you should be over that by now. Be single for a while, figure out who you are. You will destroy any relationship you get your hands on at this point.

There is this girl I want, who I met last December. And she is a beautiful. She is light skin African American( just like me) and she is so cool. Good personality. Funny. Mature. See each year my family and friends go down to Ocean City,MD at December ever since I was born.. 1996.

So we go down there to shop, chill, have fun. So I first met her last time and she came with her cousins. I'm cool with them and I think they won't care if I date her. Here is the twist she is 20-23 I don't remember its been months. But I confirm in the 20s. I'm 16 now. Gonna turn 17 in August. Here is another thing, I'm a 220 lbs.. 5'5. I'm shorter than her. But here is the thing, I excercise like crazy now. Not then but now! I'm trying loose 75 pounds by December. I dropped processed food and sodas. So hopefully I can do it.

I can run 6.0mph for 3 mins strait.. probably longer if I try harder. I do about half a mile a day. Trying to do 3 1/4 of a mile a day.

Any excercise tips. Oh and my bumps/pimples are almost gone.

First of all, congratulations for taking on this task. You absolutely can do this and trust me when I say this is a lot easier to do at 17 than it is later on...lol. I gained a lot of weight a few years back and then took the bull by the horns. What worked for me was eating properly and strength training combined with anything aerobic. Not weightlifting for the sake of lifting weights, not bodybuilding, but training for usable strength with compounds lifts like squats, deadlifts, bench press etc with free weights. I work out at a gym but you can do it at home with just dumbells too if you're creative.

You'll never get a better workout, you'll feel like a million dollars and in a few months you'll be lifting weights you never dreamed you could lift, lose a ton of bodyfat and look like a million damn dollars. Guaranteed:tup: Oh and you'll be beating women off with a stick:sly: If you want some more specific advice PM me and I'll be glad to help. Best of luck!!👍👍

SOMEONE HELP!!

I'm in an akward position. There's this one girl who likes me for a fact. She's always staring at me and gets nervous around me and jumbles up her words when she talks to me. She even told her best friend and she told me. And I like her too. The problem is she has a boyfriend and here's where it gets wierd. Her boyfriend is my best friend. I really like her but I don't wanna loose my best friend. What do I do.

Extra details) if I need to choose I'd choose her over my best friend.

You're not choosing her over your best friend. You're choices are honour/integrity/commitment/friendship/ vs. lust. You can man up, honour your best friend and your friendship, and leave his woman alone. Or you can boy up and chase after your best friend's girl. Choice is yours, and your choice says a lot about who you are. The fact that you have already stated you'd choose her over your best friend to me means your mind is made up and you're only here to make yourself feel good by having someone agree with you.

Remember this. If she does date you, you are dating a woman that left her boyfriend for his best friend. If that's the kind of woman you want to be with, then you and her both get what you deserve. Don't be surprised if your best friend isn't happy about this and you get a bloody nose or worse.

My advice, grow up, leave them alone, let their relationship run it's course. If and when they break up, give it a reasonable grace period, a month or two at least, you ask him if it would be ok with him if you date his ex. If he says no, then you are faced with the same dilemma above. If he says yes, green light.

Hey bro! I appreciatte you took the time to write all that, thanks a lot. After all this time, I've finally decided not to talk about that with her anymore... I made one final try, but got another "I don't know"...

I'll just leave it there. If she doesn't want to see me, fine. I'll grant her her wish... All the SMS messages and phonecalls count for nothing when we can't see us face to face to make things straight...

You're welcome. It's time for Plan B. I think Plan B is more fun most of the time anyway and surprisingly more successful than one might think.
 
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I don`t know if what I`am about to say directly relates to this topic, but I`am finding hard to start conversations with girls on Facebook. How can i start a conversation with someone i don`t know from anywhere, but seems really lovely? I feel embarrassing asking this since I`am already 19 years old >.<
 
"Hi, how are you? Just wanted to say those earrings totally suit you.. . ."

Edit: OTH - Danny's advice sounds much better. ;)
 
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I don`t know if what I`am about to say directly relates to this topic, but I`am finding hard to start conversations with girls on Facebook. How can i start a conversation with someone i don`t know from anywhere, but seems really lovely? I feel embarrassing asking this since I`am already 19 years old >.<

Don't start off with direct messages if you can help it. Maybe comment on their status agreeing with something they say. Then later on message them to ask them something about it?

Works much better with some lead-up.
 
@slash her boyfriend treats her like crap, you treat your girlfriend like crap, how is this other girl ever to believe she's bettering herself by getting with you?

Anyway while your still in a relationship you shouldnt even be looking at other girls.
 
I just, I just give up, this girl i have been courting for weeks just hate me and such, i give up kill me now!
 
I just, I just give up, this girl i have been courting for weeks just hate me and such, i give up kill me now!
Dude, what? She actually hates you?! It hurts but you'll move on and it'll get easier, trust me. The end of the world are things like losing a loved one to death or disease, losing your home, losing your life. A girl is not one of those reasons to feel like the world is coming down. Best of luck.
 
XS
Dude, what? She actually hates you?! It hurts but you'll move on and it'll get easier, trust me. The end of the world are things like losing a loved one to death or disease, losing your home, losing your life. A girl is not one of those reasons to feel like the world is coming down. Best of luck.

I know but i was just trying to make her laugh when she was pissed and it did the opposite she's so pissed right now. I know that when a family member dies it's gonna be the worst thing in the world good thing some of them died before i was born and i didn't need to go through all the pain.
 
I know but i was just trying to make her laugh when she was pissed and it did the opposite she's so pissed right now. I know that when a family member dies it's gonna be the worst thing in the world good thing some of them died before i was born and i didn't need to go through all the pain.

Well that's a pretty disgusting attitude, I hope That wasn't what you said to her.

When things calm down maybe she'll see you were only trying to cheer her up and do well.
 
I know but i was just trying to make her laugh when she was pissed and it did the opposite she's so pissed right now. I know that when a family member dies it's gonna be the worst thing in the world good thing some of them died before i was born and i didn't need to go through all the pain.
Ah, I see. I was just making a point because you seem like you hate the world right now, which is understandable. If she likes you, she'll get over it pretty quickly, just apologize and give her a little space for a while. If she doesn't like you then you know it's time to move on a live life. It's hard, but as soon as you stop concentrating on an infatuation and concentrate on living life, you start to feel much better. Actually, in psychology this is considered the ONLY sure way to happiness. Other things can make you happy, but the human mind is most happy when there's no stress of regret or anxiety of future decisions to weigh it down, therefore letting go and reducing stressors as much as possible will build general happiness over time. It's still very difficult, I know.
 
XS
Ah, I see. I was just making a point because you seem like you hate the world right now, which is understandable. If she likes you, she'll get over it pretty quickly, just apologize and give her a little space for a while. If she doesn't like you then you know it's time to move on a live life. It's hard, but as soon as you stop concentrating on an infatuation and concentrate on living life, you start to feel much better. Actually, in psychology this is considered the ONLY sure way to happiness. Other things can make you happy, but the human mind is most happy when there's no stress of regret or anxiety of future decisions to weigh it down, therefore letting go and reducing stressors as much as possible will build general happiness over time. It's still very difficult, I know.

Well she's basically in her general mood she gets mad quick but she also cools down quick, she's in her usual childish girl mood but I'm glad she's not mad at me or anything like that. However I doubt that she apologized because she likes me, She's like that to everyone. So I'm pretty much still sad because she probably doesn't like me.
 
"Hi, how are you? Just wanted to say those earrings totally suit you.. . ."

Edit: OTH - Danny's advice sounds much better. ;)

Don't start off with direct messages if you can help it. Maybe comment on their status agreeing with something they say. Then later on message them to ask them something about it?

Works much better with some lead-up.

Thanks for the advices i will give it a try 👍
 
Well she's basically in her general mood she gets mad quick but she also cools down quick, she's in her usual childish girl mood but I'm glad she's not mad at me or anything like that. However I doubt that she apologized because she likes me, She's like that to everyone. So I'm pretty much still sad because she probably doesn't like me.
Yeah, I would feel sad too, but until you can say for certain, I'd give it a shot. It's true that she might not like you, but if you ask her out to a date, and she goes for it, than you've already got a good start and she might start liking you on the basis that she now knows you're interested in taking the friendship further. This actually happened to me. I had a secret infatuation with a coworker, asked her out, the date went badly in my case though, but over a year later she revealed that after I showed romantic interest in her, she started liking me too. The kicker is now she has somebody :ouch:.
 
Hi everyone, you might remember me from a couple of months back. After some help from MrMel, I got with the girl of my dreams. Sadly 5 months down the line I'm where I am now. I found out she was cheating on me. I found out yesterday, everyone is disgusted at her, thank god! The other bad thing is that the kid she cheated on me with, I see daily. I've already said something like "I don't like you very much, and I probably will hurt you." or something to that effect. And then managed to start a fight.

Great. My first fight. I'm not a big lad, 5ft 4 and 7 stone at 15 years old. Not the biggest of kids. Well basically, he was taunting me, telling me that she never loved me, and that she just felt sorry for me. By that time I was that wound up I didn't hear the rest. The whole school was probably watching. I walked up to him and 'squared up' to him. Bearing in mind I'm about a foot smaller. I didn't care. I gave him an upper-cut which landed right on his jaw. I then panicked (adrenaline mixed with my first fight.) His friend advanced on me. I reached for the first thing I had. My pen. Worst idea ever. He grabbed me in a head-lock, and rammed my face against his knee about 20 times and threw me to the ground. I was pretty disoriantated. Everyone was screaming, I was covered in blood (broken nose.) then he spat on me. He spat on ME. I launched myself from the floor, I grabbed him by the neck and stabbed him with my pen twice in the neck, and as he turned round I head-butted him. Then the kid my ex cheated on grabbed me and tried restrain me. But I just stabbed him the leg 20+ times and then elbowed him in the face, fracturing his jaw. The whole crowd fell silent. I 🤬 myself, I just dropped two huge lads in about 15 seconds flat. Then the teachers came and dragged me away. As my ex went to help both of them. To cut a long story short, now the adrenaline has worn off I ache everywhere. And I have 3 weeks community service. (It would've been more, but due to the circumstances, the judge was easy on me.) But it didn't solve anything. I just wanted everyone to know I'm not going to let people push me around. But I don't regret being with her, I love her uncomprehendingly, and still do. But it's true what people say, violence doesn't solve anything.

-Lucas.
 
I love her uncomprehendingly, and still do.

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