The General Relationship Thread

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(tl;dr?)My mom is talking wonders about me to her friends and some their daughters have become intersted in me without ever meeting me, I didn't knew that until a friend of mine, who I met that way, told me about it, so I talked to my mother about that and she went defensive.
 
Its a little bit like how my mom randomly said "you know, most of the girls at work are around your age..." at least it seems like shes trying to do good. I always fear my mom is telling all of the girls there super embarassing stories about me.
 
Update?
That Australian Girl?

Well, She doesn't have the same feelings then i have for her. Actually she doesn't have any feelings for me at all. Might sound weird. But anyway, Our friendship went downhill, and we argued for three days, and then everything seemed different. Our Convo's were so short, we used to talk for hours. Anyway, two night ago, i was watching Mr.Robot. And it hit me. The way she was texted me, after what happened. I'm started to see things... I found her weakness, i found the real her hiding inside. She's hiding something. Something that is deep within her, its dark. I started piecing things together. At 2am in the morning. Someone hurt her so much, emotionally. But because of that she is feeling numb, very numb. She's scared to get into another relationship, because she doesn't want to get hurt again. Inside she's feeling so alone. Although there's so many people around her that care so much about her. She has Anxiety, Depression. She can't sleep at night, because this still haunts her. When she does sleep, she sleeps till 11, 12, 1, even 2 pm, because when she's sleeping it eliminates that pain for her. And i asked her, what i just said above, in different context, and i was right, and she told me.. this is what the text told me. "The more than hurt me, they destroyed me and made me hate myself and i never really stopped hating myself" Our friendship stabled back out. I basically texted her 3 paragraphs, quite long ones, meaningful ones, i won't get to in context of what it said, but she told me "Thank you so much, i don't want to lose you" I'm the only one that knows the real her. Not even he best friends know. She only comfortable talking to me about her personal life, considering i have only known her for 2 weeks. We are quite similar, and i relate so much. That we understand each other.

Keep in mind, i kinda knew her a bit, and how she had one boyfriend, which didn't end well, but i didn't know how bad it was. I kind of Elliot it a bit, excluding the hacking.

I've always saw things other people didn't see, i pick up on little things people don't see, i know when someone isn't okay, plus i saw it in her eyes something wasn't right, when we talked for 10min or so one day. Maybe i'm different from everyone.

Thats what i have to say.
 
*****.

I'm starting to become super self aware. I don't want a relationship, really, but I keep noticing how I'm checking women out constantly.

I walked into a friend's painting class to chat and look around and my eyes ping ponged then got magnetized on this beautiful brunette with an awesome tattoo.

I looked at her, looked at her painting, looked back at her then gave my signature smug "Not bad." face with two thumbs up. She smiled and started laughing.

I'll be back in there, but probably not for my friend 🤬

Can't help but flirt. I swear, I feel like I flirt way too much, but it's something that happens passively and I only notice after it happens. At least it makes me fun around people.

I also bring in too much interest. It has made me, once a quiet person, a person who is always the one taking and answering questions. I miss being the listener/observer.

One of my friends: "You should get a girlfriend." I'm not quick to concur, but it is an inticing action.

I have the feeling of deja vu with this post, but oh well. It's a recurring thought.
 
Today was a mixed bag. After Tuesday of last week things were looking really good. we hadn't seen too much of each other since then, but it felt like she wasn't even noticing me. That continued today, as it seemed like she was completely ignoring me. She seemed like she got into a much better mood a little bit later, so I was able to have a couple of good interactions with her. After said interactions, I got her to look at me and smile again. As always, the patterns would suggest that she clearly is interested in me and that I should make a move. For some reason, I just can't. A part of me thinks that there is no way a girl that looks like that could be interested in someone like me, but the patterns, as well as the fact that I just need to put myself out there more, say otherwise. Maybe I'm not approaching the "moment" right. The best time (as I see it) to ask her out is when I'm leaving, as there isn't anyone else around usually and If she says no, I can just leave straight after. However, when I am walking down the hall towards the door, I feel like I'm walking to my doom, due to all of the pressure I put on myself.

Maybe I need to approach this "perfect moment" thing differently. Choose another time, or another way to do it. I'm not sure. Now with the whole getting her number thing. This might sound odd, but don't worry I have a good reason why. She hasn't given me her number or anything, but I already know what it is. I didn't go nuts and do a bunch of crazy digging to find it or anything, there is a piece of paper near the front desk with a few of the teacher's names and numbers on it in case a parent wants to hire one of them for a personal babysitting job, and her name is the first one on the list. And I assume I would be right in saying that putting that number in my phone and texting her would be a bit creepy, right? I'm not very good at this stuff as you all can tell.

Anyways, I am getting more and more confident around her, and am gaining a much better understanding of what we both are looking for in a relationship, which is good. :)
 
At this point, I'm going to be honest. You are over analyzing things that are highly likely of not being there.

It has been WEEKS since you have started posting about this girl, and since then, neither you or her have made any advancements or planned anything. From what I'm reading, you make it seem like she is really into you, but she hasn't shown any real interest besides lightconversation and a smile.

You mention that you feel like she is ignoring you. It's totally confusing and frustrating to read about in paragraph form.

There is no "perfect moment", you just have to ball up and ask her out. It's the only way you will find anything out..

You didn't ask for her number or contact information, so don't text her. That'll be a red flag for her and she would be put into an uncomfortable position knowing that you got her number without her knowing.

I suggest you stop assuming and just ask her out.
 
Err.

Friend told me to ask out this Swedish girl.

I considered it, but today I was talking to her and she said that she may be moving back to Sweden for the summer. She's unable to work due to her citizenship.

I want to bite the bullet and see what she says just for the fun of it. I'll probably just get her contacts and get the point across that I am into her.

She's going to be back next semester.

Decisions..

Let's see what happens.
 
I found a gif that perfectly describes my situation.:lol:
78ec8ee2d72e7a5d6214f930d7f1fdfd8d4622da36d45bdd706a7ffd2ba96de8_1.gif
 
Wow, it's really looking like I lucked out a year and a half ago with how I met and got together with my girlfriend...

Hello fellow Michiganite!


So, I think that posting here about my miscellaneous interactions is useless, they're more or less for my own benefit, and I realize there isn't much for others to go off of with those. I also realize that this (in terms of help) is not about her at all. It's my problem. I noticed that I seem to be, oddly afraid of entering a relationship with her. I think that subconsciously I am worried that things might not go as smoothly as I imagine they would. As if the thoughts and feelings I have about her now would be far better than reality, and I want to hold on to them. I realize that I won't know until I try, but I have always been the sort of person who never does something unless I am confident or for sure about the result.

We have become very comfortable talking to each other, so clearly that's not the issue. I just need the confidence and courage to take a risk, and put myself out there.
 
Hello fellow Michiganite!


So, I think that posting here about my miscellaneous interactions is useless, they're more or less for my own benefit, and I realize there isn't much for others to go off of with those. I also realize that this (in terms of help) is not about her at all. It's my problem. I noticed that I seem to be, oddly afraid of entering a relationship with her. I think that subconsciously I am worried that things might not go as smoothly as I imagine they would. As if the thoughts and feelings I have about her now would be far better than reality, and I want to hold on to them. I realize that I won't know until I try, but I have always been the sort of person who never does something unless I am confident or for sure about the result.

We have become very comfortable talking to each other, so clearly that's not the issue. I just need the confidence and courage to take a risk, and put myself out there.
Hello, there other Michiganite! It appears there's the whole state between us, but meh, Michigan is Michigan.

As to the rest of that, I'm gonna say trying is not going to hurt. I am the exact kind of way, always wanting to know how things will pan out and not wanting there to be bumps in the road. I hesitated and hesitated on asking the girl I really liked out on a date. I never gave in to tell her how much I liked her, and had it not been for her similar feelings I probably wouldn't have ever started dating her.

However, I happened to be extremely fortunate in the fact that my now-girlfriend was the same as I was, and through some talking back and forth and edging closer to the subject, we slowly started seeing each other outside of school,and after a while we went out as friends. Only after nearly two months of more-or-less dating without the label, I finally asked her out. Looking back, I wish I would have actually asked her out far earlier.

Come to find out, my girlfriend was a lot like the girl you've got your eye on. Her ex was horrible to her and completely destroyed her old personality. He pretty much got rid of all of her friends, and by the time she ended it she was left with very bad anxiety and depression. I happened to be in the right place at the right time to meet her and help her recover the best I could. Her anxiety is still a common concern, and her depression isn't always the best, but as long as I can help her I'm happy. I'm sure if you can help your girl out emotionally she will be extremely thankful for you.

Things may not work out the way you want them to, but there is always a chance they will. You never know until you try. I believe it's better to at least have a chance instead of letting it slip through your fingers because of a lack of confidence. While this all may be hypocritical preaching from my rock, but I want to encourage others to take the step I didn't. Not everyone will have the opportunity I had.

Who knows? Maybe things will work out just fine. If you need some help knowing what to say, I'm sure there are plenty of people willing to help you out.

Good luck to ya!
 
Gonna post basically a synopsis of a message I'm debating on sending on Facebook to a girl who, for the purposes of anonminity, shall be dubbed Ms. HOPEFUL SAZ ONE.

Coworker. Lovely little lass. Incidentally used to live in my neighborhood back in my elementary school days. (Lel like early 2000's here probably pre-32 team NFL) Couple months go by, entertain the thought that hey maybe it'd be nice if we'd go out sometime. Didn't have the slightest idea of what the date would be, so I sat on the idea. Eventually, Ms. HSAZO finds a man that isn't me.

Fair enough. Wasn't that bad looking of a guy...was about his most redeeming feature. Most of what I know about him comes from her work gossip after WHOAWHOAWHOATHERESKIPPY we're getting ahead of ourselves.

So, I sit back, try to work out exactly what I feel towards her. They breakup. Didn't seem like a smooth breakup. Jokingly offered to ship her ex a *redacted due to questionable status under GTPlanet AUP hint hint involves gummy candy*. Ms. HSAZO seemed to like that protectiveness (can't be sure, long story short technically I'm on the spectrum and those cues are something I don't seem to easily pick up but enough if that back to my story) and hey that could be what I need to get oh wait they're back together.

You've got to be kidding me. Your ex was seemingly unemployed for most of the relationship, I directly remember hearing you talk about how you hated having to always pay for stuff during your time with him. Kicker? Finally had a general idea of a decent date and was trying to get myself to actually ASK her out.

Fine. At this point, clearly though of her as more than friends. So, wait THIS out. Other coworker comes along but OH BOY THAT'S GONNA BE A STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY Back to this. Ms. HSAZO and *Name Redacted* break up again. I can make movooooohwait are you with him a third time welp time to move onnnnnnand you're apart again? This part of the timeline is unclear to me.

Why did I stick it out this long? Fact: I'm six foot, 240 lbs or so. Yes I can stand to lose weight. She's like five one or five two, 110 soaking wet. And yet I'm legit speechless at times around her....which is a fairly difficult feat to accomplish nowdays.

Finally have date idea, ask her what days of the week she isn't too busy (due to her nursing school other thing I like/d about her was how she had a set life goal for herself)........nothing. Heard nothing back.

Saturday night, on Facebook for the lulz while trying to fix dead pixels on my laptop screen, you know the drill: Lack of confidence costs me again.

I want to be happy for her with this. New man seems like a perfectly cromulent A-1 fellow I'd totally go hang out with. I just can't bring myself to be that way.

Fact: 24 years old and there's been nothing in my love life. Hell, don't exactly have a reference point to decide what I'm thinking right now or if I want or need to move on.

TL;DR: I fall madly for a coworker and yet couldn't bring myself to actually say blank it and try to make something happen.
 
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Hello fellow Michiganite!


So, I think that posting here about my miscellaneous interactions is useless, they're more or less for my own benefit, and I realize there isn't much for others to go off of with those. I also realize that this (in terms of help) is not about her at all. It's my problem. I noticed that I seem to be, oddly afraid of entering a relationship with her. I think that subconsciously I am worried that things might not go as smoothly as I imagine they would. As if the thoughts and feelings I have about her now would be far better than reality, and I want to hold on to them. I realize that I won't know until I try, but I have always been the sort of person who never does something unless I am confident or for sure about the result.

We have become very comfortable talking to each other, so clearly that's not the issue. I just need the confidence and courage to take a risk, and put myself out there.


Dude gimme her number I'll ask her out for you.
 
@W3HS I could ask you out, and you can pretend it happened before you got married. :lol:

That sounds like a good plan. Not only would it be the first time a girl asked me out, it'd also be probably the first time in history a woman had asked out a man on the internet.

Can I say "I'll think about it..." and play hard to get?
 
Back. In retrospect, yesterday's post of mine was rather angsty. Leaving it up, just had to write down my thought process at the time. Still gonna at least keep an eye on that situation and see what happens. Got 95% of post-whateveryou'dcallit EMO stuff out of the way.

Remember how I mentioned coworker #2 in that post? Quick story. She might've been dropping hints these past few weeks. "Might've" because of reasons detailed in prior post. Back to story, she's refreshingly blunt. Gel wonderfully at work. Lovely face, wonderful......asset to the store wink wink nudge nudge if you know what I mean. Why you no make move, SecretAgentZero?

One: Her relationship status is muddy. Her Facebook lists her as single, yet she mentions that she has a boyfriend.....who's in jail. Know for a fact she was talking to someone else like that...who cut things off with her brutally (and seriously the language he used was "wooooow dude don't call her THAT word three guesses what it was") She took it like a champ, gave no blanks.

Two: Half hour drive away....and I don't have my license.

Three: She might be on her way to being management in my particular store.

Four: Her son. TL;DR: Comrade SAZ has no idea on how to be a positive influence in a young lad's life becuase OH HEY I HAVE NOT SEEN MY DAD IN LIKE TWELVE YEARS.

Yep. I'm not a guy who exhibits good judgment.

PS. And if we expand "relationship" to include "special sexy time friends", then oooooooooh boy do I have a tale for you. I'll tell it if the situation arises.
 
Heart in the throat? I've had it before.

Try talking to her casually and try to get to where you're both comfortable in the dialog. Then ask.

And...
PS. And if we expand "relationship" to include "special sexy time friends", then oooooooooh boy do I have a tale for you. I'll tell it if the situation arises.
"Sir, the situation has arisen!"

*Lenny face*

"Deploy countermeasures!"

No, seriously...What happened?
 
Heart in the throat? I've had it before.

Try talking to her casually and try to get to where you're both comfortable in the dialog. Then ask.

And...

"Sir, the situation has arisen!"

*Lenny face*

"Deploy countermeasures!"

No, seriously...What happened?

If y'all are REALLY interested, it's nothing major. Old manager jokingly tried to match me up with another coworker who's in mid-late 40's. Wouldn't say no if things happened, even though she's been married about as long as I've been alive. This isn't serious by any measure of the word. Just....y'know, idle interest.
 
So this girl that i meet through Tinder, we were watching a movie in the theatre in our second meet. She started touching my hands, held my arms, but it felt too fast. I mean, physical interaction in a second meet ? I have never been in a relationship and suddenly this stuff happens ? You bet your ass i feel so awkward.

It escalated quickly by the third meet (i don't call this a date since we are not in a relationship... Yet). She almost hugged me, held my hands a few more times. It's like we're dating ! I feel scared actually, 20+ years of never having been in a relationship let alone hanging out with a girl (just the two of us) and suddenly being thrown in situations like this where the girl is okay at any dumb, rookie, awkward stuff i did ?

1 month ago i decided i was really comfortable with being single and this happens.
 
Sounds like you need to talk to each other about what you're looking for in a relationship.

@W3HS for me it's the opposite. I have been asked out by a girl a few times before but I have never asked a girl out before, which somewhat explains my predicament

Maybe I need to ask her out on a day when she isn't looking as good as usual. :lol: The problem there is that sge almost always looks good! Haha. Today her hair was done up nicely and she was wearing just a standard green staff smock, but it was somewhat form fitting so I was able to see her overall figure. Much drooling and staring occured as a result. :lol:
 
Well this escalated quickly, she said she love me but she doesn't believe i love her because i don't know her really, really close.

I said that i want to know more deeply about her. But now i'm confused when she said i'm not romantic enough ? This is my first time for christ sake, i don't know how to be romantic like what she wants.
 
Well this escalated quickly, she said she love me but she doesn't believe i love her because i don't know her really, really close.

I said that i want to know more deeply about her. But now i'm confused when she said i'm not romantic enough ? This is my first time for christ sake, i don't know how to be romantic like what she wants.

Well okay then. That's a little bit different from what I was expecting. I thought that she definitely wanted to date you but you were not 100 percent sure if you wanted to date her which explained why you were so worried by her advances. But you have only met up a couple of times, and she says she loves you?! Damn. If you aren't looking for something serious, tell her. It's not going to do either of you any good if she thinks there is more to that relationship than there is.
 
So this girl that i meet through Tinder, we were watching a movie in the theatre in our second meet. She started touching my hands, held my arms, but it felt too fast. I mean, physical interaction in a second meet ? I have never been in a relationship and suddenly this stuff happens ? You bet your ass i feel so awkward.

It escalated quickly by the third meet (i don't call this a date since we are not in a relationship... Yet). She almost hugged me, held my hands a few more times. It's like we're dating ! I feel scared actually, 20+ years of never having been in a relationship let alone hanging out with a girl (just the two of us) and suddenly being thrown in situations like this where the girl is okay at any dumb, rookie, awkward stuff i did ?

1 month ago i decided i was really comfortable with being single and this happens.
I'm using your post as a jumping off point but what I'm going to say applies to many of the guys who post here. I had a boss a long time ago who was a mentor to me at work and in life. He was a worldly guy, about 15 years older than me and we'd have discussions about work, women, life and usually when it got to a certain point, out of the blue he's say, "Get out of your head". What he meant was, that at a certain point you are thinking too much and it's time for action. I see a lot of you guys could use that same advice because, IMO, you think too much. Instead of doing things, acting, being proactive, you're always trying to think about what the other person is thinking and it's a completely fruitless exercise. I'll tell you what she is thinking 100% of the time when it comes to you and your amorous desires and it's one of only two things. Either she's thinking, "hurry the hell up and kiss me for God's sake", or, "I don't really want to date him so I hope he doesn't ask me out". No matter how much you mind:censored: it, one of those two thoughts are on her mind. She either likes you in that way or she doesn't. You can think and strategize and plan and try to outguess her but likely there's nothing you can do to change her mind. I always found that thinking of things in simple terms like that made it much easier to approach women and take risks I'd never have taken before because I was always in my head.

When I was younger I made the mistake of thinking that women thought differently than men when it came to the beginning of relationships. I could be attracted to someone from a glance on a bus home from school or across a crowded lunch room but I believed for some reason that you really had to take time and really get to know a woman before she was attracted to you. Turns out that isn't the case most of the time, at least not in my experience. She either likes you almost right away or she doesn't. She is either attracted to you within a few minutes of meeting you or she isn't. Sure, sometimes you can grow on a person over time, but it's far more likely that within a few minutes of meeting you she's already made up her mind and she either wants you to pull the trigger and get on with it, or she's hoping you don't ask her out to begin with. Doesn't mean she wants a relationship at that point in her life, that's a different kettle of fish, but once you realize that she thinks just like you do it takes away a lot of the fear and anxiety.

It also helps to realize and accept that the chemistry is there or it isn't. Her not being attracted to you isn't a rejection of you it's just a lack of chemistry. Same thing happens to you right? You're not attracted to every woman you meet for whatever reason and you're not rejecting them personally, the chemistry isn't there and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

It's ok to be a little nervous but don't let it stop you from doing what you want to do. Everyone is nervous asking someone out, that's a given, but sometimes you just have to decide to be bold even when you don't feel bold. She might reject you. So what? If you don't try you'll never know. The potential rewards far outweigh the risks.
 
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