The Love Therapy Thread

[Teh_Loserer]

But they have the whole shebang! Often separated by mere millimetres...

Either she'll read this or I'll text/IM her about it. She might have an equally humorous response to your suggestion.

Both your examples are selfishness. However, selfishness is not always bad (and I've said this before).

I fail to see how either example is selfish. Please enlighten me. If you can demonstrate that I'm wrong, I will gladly concede the point.

But then I'll say that they're both instances where selfishness isn't bad, and we'll be right back to "there's nothing wrong with it".

The key word is "easily". As I've said many times now, I'm aware of examples where it has worked (and of course selfish, impulsive people often form couples too). They are the exception, rather than the rule.

Though of course marriages that work are also the exception, rather than the rule (as you're no doubt aware, given the below) but they're slightly less the exception.Looks like people like other people only for as long as it takes to dislike them...

Then I'd contend that we have thus far proven to be an exceptional exception, in that her alleged selfishness and impulsiveness have caused no problems whatsoever for the better part of a decade now.

...

I think we're going to need Montel for this one.

Because I'm willing to question myself, examine and reconsider my position on a matter, and revise my initial thoughts if there proves to be sufficient reason?

If there was a joke there, I missed it completely.

 

[Famine]

Either she'll read this or I'll text/IM her about it. She might have an equally humorous response to your suggestion.

So long as it doesn't involve ping pong balls.

I fail to see how either example is selfish. Please enlighten me. If you can demonstrate that I'm wrong, I will gladly concede the point.

But then I'll say that they're both instances where selfishness isn't bad, and we'll be right back to "there's nothing wrong with it".

"I want to do this."
"Uh... okay then."
"I want to do it now."
"Okay. Sure."

The proposer is the one who has the desire to do something for their own gratification - selfishness. Even wanting someone to spend time with you is a form of selfishness. The other party can choose to go along with it... or not.

I would contend that you wanting to go see a film when she's doing something vital for work is bad selfish - whether you go or not. I would contend that you wanting to go see a film when she's got some free time is not bad selfish - whether you go or not. I would contend that wanting to pork someone else because you're away a lot is bad selfish - whether you get to slip it in or not.

Then I'd contend that we have thus far proven to be an exception.

Agreed, with highlights.

Because I'm willing to question myself, examine and reconsider my position on a matter, and revise my initial thoughts if there proves to be sufficient reason?

If there was a joke there, I missed it completely.

Because you have a complicated set of relationships all going on at once.

I'd have gone for Jerry, but I doubt anyone wants to punch anyone else.

 

[Sureboss]

Clenched fists, but not for punching.

 

[Teh_Loserer]

"I want to do this."
"Uh... okay then."
"I want to do it now."
"Okay. Sure."

The proposer is the one who has the desire to do something for their own gratification - selfishness. Even wanting someone to spend time with you is a form of selfishness. The other party can choose to go along with it... or not.

I would contend that you wanting to go see a film when she's doing something vital for work is bad selfish - whether you go or not. I would contend that you wanting to go see a film when she's got some free time is not bad selfish - whether you go or not.

Ok, that makes sense. Point taken. They are both instances of selfishness.
However:

But then I'll say that they're both instances where selfishness isn't bad, and we'll be right back to "there's nothing wrong with it".

I would contend that wanting to pork someone else because you're away a lot is bad selfish - whether you get to slip it in or not.

It's not just because I'm away a lot, but we've been over that. One of us diddling someone else without the other present is a point of discussion though. I'm not entirely comfortable with it, but that may be because I'm away from home so much these days. I don't get to get my funtime in, so it's a matter of fairness. It may be because I just really don't like the idea at all, period. It violates what I think is acceptable in a relationship. I dunno why I don't like the idea, only that I don't. It's one of several reasons the whole thing has been put to rest for now.

Because you have a complicated set of relationships all going on at once.

I have one relationship going on at the moment, and far from complicated, it's the easiest, most comfortable one I've ever had.

 

[Famine]

Do you not maintain a relationship with your child? If not, bummer.

Also, I've nearly run out of "clean" euphemisms for sex. I've got "tipping the velvet" left, and that's really only a girl/girl thing. Donations gratefully received.

 

[Richardrfo]

I don't think you've used 'pump/pumping/pumped' yet.

 

[tlowr4]

Ok, that makes sense. Point taken. They are both instances of selfishness.
However:

It's not just because I'm away a lot, but we've been over that. One of us diddling someone else without the other present is a point of discussion though. I'm not entirely comfortable with it, but that may be because I'm away from home so much these days.

May I ask why you are taking this subject lightly? Not entirely comfortable with your girlfriend, bangin' another guy! What is wrong with you?! That's like saying (on her part) "Oh I'm going out of town this weekend. I'm going to buy another dog to replace Rover while I'm away."

I don't get to get my funtime in, so it's a matter of fairness. It may be because I just really don't like the idea at all, period. It violates what I think is acceptable in a relationship. I dunno why I don't like the idea, only that I don't. It's one of several reasons the whole thing has been put to rest for now. I have one relationship going on at the moment, and far from complicated, it's the easiest, most comfortable one I've ever had.

Well that's great, just remember. No relationship is easy. And if you lean back on the couch too much (and no that's not a sexual ehh.....what's that word that means word ) you'll get caught.

 

[McLaren]

May I ask why you are taking this subject lightly? Not entirely comfortable with your girlfriend, bangin' another guy! What is wrong with you?! That's like saying (on her part) "Oh I'm going out of town this weekend. I'm going to buy another dog to replace Rover while I'm away."

No, nothing like that. For most people, there's usually a much different kind of emotion when you realize your significant other could be banging someone else. Some people though, hide it rather well, but judging by Teh's post, it seems he still harbors a bit of that emotion. It's nothing like replacing a dog with another one, however, & I don't expect you at your age to know what that emotion is like.

Well that's great, just remember. No relationship is easy. And if you lean back on the couch too much (and no that's not a sexual ehh.....what's that word that means word ) you'll get caught.

Might be the only legit thing you've said in this thread, so far.

 

[Eric Demory]

I am not surprised for Famine to post a whole lot of what he knows about s-e-x.

Who are you Famine?

 

[TB]

I am not surprised for Famine to post a whole lot of what he knows about s-e-x.

Famine knows a lot about sex:

Woah dude!

You've like... had sex... twice?

And that was in '05. No telling what he knows by now.

And I'm still at twice...

 

[Omnis]

Do you not maintain a relationship with your child? If not, bummer.

Also, I've nearly run out of "clean" euphemisms for sex. I've got "tipping the velvet" left, and that's really only a girl/girl thing. Donations gratefully received.

Posing for Cosmo?

 

[Sureboss]

Scissor sisters?

Keeley Hawes ftw.

 

[Teh_Loserer]

Do you not maintain a relationship with your child? If not, bummer.

I do! But it's really pretty simple. I'm daddy. She's my baby girl. I love her and she loves me. She's sad that I'm working so much right now, but she understands. I talk to her on the phone regularly while I'm at work. I suppose you could call that complicated if you wanted, but I don't feel that way at all.

May I ask why you are taking this subject lightly? Not entirely comfortable with your girlfriend, bangin' another guy! What is wrong with you?!

Sure you can ask, kiddo. But by way of answer, I would ask you to read the thread again. You seem to have missed not only that it's NOT being taken lightly, but also that she's not bangin' another guy, has no desire to bang another guy, and is not bangin' anyone at all right now.

But they just TD'd this well last night, so I'll be going home in 1-3 days and she will be bangin' a guy. Me. It shall be grand.

Well that's great, just remember. No relationship is easy. And if you lean back on the couch too much (and no that's not a sexual ehh.....what's that word that means word ) you'll get caught.

I have no idea what point you're trying to make here about couches, but I'm well aware that relationships aren't easy. That being said, regarding this particular relationship:

...it's the easiest, most comfortable one I've ever had.

Also, I've nearly run out of "clean" euphemisms for sex. I've got "tipping the velvet" left, and that's really only a girl/girl thing. Donations gratefully received.

parking the bus
sinking the sub
donning the pink glove
hittin' the split
takin' the skin boat to tuna town
hiding the salami
doing the horizontal mambo
tickling her innards
gettin' up in dem guts

 

[tlowr4]

No, nothing like that. For most people, there's usually a much different kind of emotion when you realize your significant other could be banging someone else. Some people though, hide it rather well, but judging by Teh's post, it seems he still harbors a bit of that emotion. It's nothing like replacing a dog with another one, however, & I don't expect you at your age to know what that emotion is like.

Again with the 🤬 age.

Might be the only legit thing you've said in this thread, so far.

That aint funny. *stare*

Sure you can ask, kiddo. But by way of answer, I would ask you to read the thread again. You seem to have missed not only that it's NOT being taken lightly, but also that she's not bangin' another guy, has no desire to bang another guy, and is not bangin' anyone at all right now.

I aint askin' nothin. I just got things messed up.

But they just TD'd this well last night, so I'll be going home in 1-3 days and she will be bangin' a guy. Me. It shall be grand.

Shoot him.

I have no idea what point you're trying to make here about couches, but I'm well aware that relationships aren't easy. That being said, regarding this particular relationship:

Sounded better in my mind.

Also, I've nearly run out of "clean" euphemisms for sex. I've got "tipping the velvet" left, and that's really only a girl/girl thing. Donations gratefully received.

Doin the Michele Jackson.
Rockin the boat.
Ridin the Horse.

 

[Teh_Loserer]

Again with the 🤬 age.

Perhaps it's a valid point. 💡

That aint funny. *stare*

I don't think it was intended to be.

I aint askin' nothin. I just got things messed up.

ORLY?

May I ask why you are taking this subject lightly?

 

[Talon]

Again with the 🤬 age.

Let the age thing go. You're 13, how would you know what it feels like to be cheated on? Age is just a number, but experience comes in those numbers that happen after 13.

 

[tlowr4]

I'll let the age thing go, if everyone stops thinking that because I'm young, I don't know anything. It really ticks me.

 

[Teh_Loserer]

I'll let the age thing go, if everyone stops thinking that because I'm young, I don't know anything. It really ticks me.

It's not that you don't know ANYTHING. It's that you, like everyone at your age, think you know a lot more than you actually do. The reason everyone speaks the way they do of age is because we've ALL been there, we know what we're talking about.

Don't take it personally, instead take it as the wisdom of experience and try to better yourself from it. 👍

 

[Joel]

I'll let the age thing go, if everyone stops thinking that because I'm young, I don't know anything. It really ticks me.

I'm speaking from the experienced age of 16 (rolls eyes).

I remember being 13, I had a huge crush on this red head girl from school. I thought it was "different", I thought it was "real love", I thought I knew it all. Looking back on that, I sure as hell didn't then, and I sure as hell don't know now either.


Bottom line, we're both kids, and no matter how much we want to tell ourselves that we're different or more mature than our peers, we're still just kids who think they know everything.

 

[tlowr4]

And what's to say I might actually know what I'm talking about eh?

 

[Talon]

There's no way you could.

 

[Teh_Loserer]

And what's to say I might actually know what I'm talking about eh?

What's to say you might? Very little.

What's to say you don't? Your age.

 

[astrosdude91]

And what's to say I might actually know what I'm talking about eh?

I seriously doubt that you've been in an intimate relationship with two women at the same time. If you have, you surely would've been the coolest kid in my junior high.

 

[Joel]

And what's to say I might actually know what I'm talking about eh?

That I've been there too. Seriously, you're 13. I'm 16 and I don't know a damn thing either. Children's and teen's brains are more apt to make a quick emotional decision (like you're doing now), than to carefully analyse a situation. It's not your fault you don't know, but unless you're the second coming of Jesus (heh heh heh), you don't know.

 

[tlowr4]

Oook. But this is one battle I'm not giving up. No I havn't had sax or anything that drastic, god I haven't had a first kiss (due to that bloody teacher), but I know what love is. Even though you'll say: "I'm 16 and when I was 13 I had a crush I thought it was love, etc etc", I know.

 

[Talon]

Oook. But this is one battle I'm not giving up gonna win.

Fixed.

Sorry man, all you're doing now is proving our point.

 

[Kneedragger]

...I might actually know...

Knowledge:
1. We can know what we know.
2. We can know what we dont know.

-but-

3. There are also things we dont know that we dont know*


*this is the trap of young and old alike. to function as a person you need the first two kinds of knowledge, and a 13yr old certainly functions as a person. but as time passes and the shine wears off things like sex, drugs, and rock and roll, you begin to accept the state of mind that is the 3rd kind of knowing. you stop making answers for everything in your head and grasping at 'endless solutions', which is something the young often get caught up in.

So i wish you a happy life mr.13 year old. but there ARE things we dont know that we dont know. give it a think

 

[McLaren]

And what's to say I might actually know what I'm talking about eh?

I highly doubt you know what it feels like to find out your partner is having sex behind your back.

I also don't think you know what love really is, though I'll give you benefit of the doubt in that you might understand some of the "basics". However, most kids your age consider love holding hands, kissing in the hallways, & going to mall. That's why I laugh when they say, "I love you" b/c 2 weeks later when they split, they hate each others' guts.

The question I posed you earlier in the thread about a long distance relationship was love, or at least, on my end. And though we've split, I still have the same feelings for my ex. as before, so much that the girls I have dated since have not been ones I would ever say, "I love you" to after a week of dating unlike high school relationships where a boy & a girl will say after 1 day. 👎

 

[Legendary]

And what's to say I might actually know what I'm talking about eh?

Just give up mate, I may have had sex and kissed a girl before, does that mean I know what love is? No, it means I have been to a party and had a good time.

You, you haven't even kissed a girl so all you can understand, as others have said, is the basics of love and maybe a little more. Please, stop going on about what you know because although I am only two years older than you (15) I still look upon my 13 year old 'beliefs' or what I thought was right and laugh in shame.

 

[tlowr4]

Arch, nope. Sorry. But I'm not giving up on this one. I give in to most arguments, but not this one. Sorry, but I know what I know. And I know I was in love up until a few days ago, and I'm not going to let go of that, nor am I going to let go of the fact that some kids, no matter how young they might be, still know things including love, that may still be oblivious to ones older than themselves.

EDIT: @McLaren. No. That's not true at all. Love isn't just about holding hands and sharing a kiss, and like hell I think that way. Lemme put it this way. There are 2 types of love.
1. A love from one side. This is referred to some as a 'crush' (although personally I don't like this word. Some people think single sided love and a crush are 2 totally different things. I believe they are the same). Where one person has such emotion feelings for one, but the other may not know it.
2. Double sided love. This is where both sides love each-other equally, and they both know how either one feels. 'Soul mating' comes into this catagory.

As far as my feelings for the girl I loved, well they were the 1st category. I was so madly in love with her, yet she didn't know it. And if I actually reveal who this person is, people will start telling me to see a therapist. So as long as this topic stands, she will remain nameless.

EDIT 2: Thanks, but you don't have to tell me that I just told you everything you knew.