*The Quotes Thread*

[MitsubishiLancer]

"Last week a cop stopped me in my car. He asked me if I had a police record. I said, no, but I have the new Dr Dre cd and told him to get with the times. Cops have no sense of humor."

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

Lost interest? It's so bad I've lost apathy.

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child -- if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. -- W. C. Fields

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

McGowan's Madison Avenue Axiom: If an item is advertised as "under $50", you can bet it's not $19.95

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people." -- Orson Welles

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flame thrower. Evil Dead 3

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

Not far from here, by a white sun, behind a green star, lived the Steelypips, illustrious, industrious, and they hadn't a care: no spats in their vats, no rules, no schools, no gloom, no evil influence of the moon, no trouble from matter or antimatter -- for they had a machine, a dream of a machine, with springs and gears and perfect in every respect. And they lived with it, and on it, and under it, and inside it, for it was all they had -- first they saved up all their atoms, then they put them all together, and if one didn't fit, why they chipped at it a bit, and everything was just fine ... -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

One can't proceed from the informal to the formal by formal means.

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

Pascal, n.: A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.



lol

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

Philadelphia is not dull -- it just seems so because it is next to exciting Camden, New Jersey

From The City Council of Camdem

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

Q: Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together? A: To prevent the sensible ones from going home.

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. -- Wernher von Braun

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

Save energy: be apathetic.

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

Serocki's Stricture: Marriage is always a bachelor's last option

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

Slowly and surely the unix crept up on the Nintendo user ...

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

Some primal termite knocked on wood. And tasted it, and found it good. And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today. -- Ogden Nash

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

Support your local police force -- steal!!

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

Talkers are no good doers. -- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"



ok Im done now...sorry all

 

[Klostrophobic]

"If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?"

 

[MitsubishiLancer]

Originally posted by Klostrophobic
"If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?"

i wonder?

 

[splwoo]

i dunno if this was posted before, but

"im not gay, but i'll learn"

 

[Klostrophobic]

"You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake."

 

[Klostrophobic]

Another cool movie quote.

Samuel L. Jackson has the best quotes.

"AK-47; when you absolutely positively got to kill every mother [expletive] in the room, accept no substitutes."

Booyakasha!

 

[Viper_Maniac]

"I give it about an hour before we're all a**-raped."
-Road Trip

 

[KC]

Graham Hill...

"The chief qualities of a racing driver are concentration, determination and anticipation. A 1929 Austin without brakes develops all three - anticipation rather more than the first two, perhaps."

One of the many racing quotes I have collected.

 

[KC]

Another from Gilles Villeneuve after he destroyed the qualifying field by 11 seconds in a monsoon at Watkins Glen...

"Every winter, you would reckon on three or four big spills - and I'm talking about being thrown on to the ice at 100 mph. Those things [snowmobiles] used to slide a lot, which taught me a great deal about control. And the visibility was terrible! Unless you were leading, you could see nothing, with all the snow blowing about. Good for the reactions - and it stopped me having any worries about racing in the rain."

 

[KC]

Bernd Rosemeyer gave this in an interview during the German Land Speed record attempts on the autobahn during the 1920s...

"... at about 240 mph the joints in the concrete road surface are felt like blows, setting up a corresponding resonance through the car, but this disappears at a greater speed. Passing under bridges the driver receives a terrific blow to the chest, because the car is pushing air aside, which is trapped by the bridge. When you go under a bridge, for a split second the engine noise completely disappears and then returns like a thunderclap when you are through.”

Of the same record attempts, Rudolph Carracciola said this...

"The road seemed like a narrow white band, the bridges like tiny black holes ahead. It was a matter of threading the car through them..."

 

[Viper_Maniac]

"This jabroni holding the camera, HE said he was going to win the Royal Rumble!"
-The Rock

 

[Acid X]

"Do you smeellllll-oo what the Smoke is bakin'?!" - The rock impersonator from Jerry Springer

Now that was funny