The Simpsons Quotes

  • Thread starter Thread starter oscarfulz
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Homer: Did you wreck the car?
Kids: No!
Homer: Did you raise the dead?
Kids: Yes!
Homer: But the car's OK?
 
(Homer sees a billboard with a tree beside it that says: DIE)
Homer: AAHHHH!
(The wind blows the tree over and the billboard says: DIET)
Homer: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
 
Mr. Burns "Smithers! There's a rocket in my pocket!"

Smithers "You don't need to tell me, sir."
 
*From the leprosy episode*

Homer: Brainnnss. Use your brains to help us! Your delicious brainnnsssss....
 
Homer: "It's at times like these I wish I was a religious man."
Rev. Lovejoy (running in the street): "It's all over people! We don't even have a prayer!"

I think I posted that one some 20-some pages ago, but it's worth another mention I think.
 
Cheif Wiggum: Would an innocent person flee?.........Really I don't know
 
Marge - "Homer! Your helper monkey is sitting on my side of the couch again!"

Homer - "Honey, as you can see, he's clearly "marked" that part of the couch as his."
 
Solid Lifters
Marge - "Homer! Your helper monkey is sitting on my side of the couch again!"

Homer - "Honey, as you can see, he's clearly "marked" that part of the couch as his."
Click to expand...


Scientist: Mojo, what have they done to you!
Computerized voice: Pray............for...............Mojo.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marge: Have you been up all night eating cheese?
Homer: [slurred] I think I'm blind...
 
(The dam that Bob and Cecil built breaks.)
Homer: Marge, I'm going to look for the kids.
(A giant wall of water pours through in Homer's direction.)
Homer: AAHHH! (Runs inside and shuts door. He checks the peephole on his door and opens the door.)
Ralph: I think I wet my bed.
 
Bart: "I was so worried about you I couldn't concentrate and got an F in school."

*hands Homer an F-graded test*

Homer: "Hey this is dated 2 weeks ago."

Bart: "Oh sorry, here's a fresh one."
 
Marge: I know what you do with the first eleven forks but what do you do with this one? ( Holds up the large fork.)

Homer: Marge, I believe you are to scratch your ass with it.

Marge: Homer! I-oh, ooh this is a lifesaver!
 
Milhouse: "Bart, it just goes to show, war is not the answer."
Bart: "Except to all of America's problems."
Milhouse: "Amen."
 
Homer: Who should take out your trash??
Crowd: Someone else! Someone else! Someone else! Someone else!
 
Moe: You just need to come up with a motto.
Homer: Can't someone else do it.
Moe: That's perfect!
 
Blake
Moe: You just need to come up with a motto.
Homer: Can't someone else do it.
Moe: That's perfect!
Click to expand...

Moe: You need to pay for this beer here.
Homer: "Can't someone else do it??"
Moe: Oh! Haha, man that's good.
[Homer leaves and hears a gun c0ck]
Moe [with shotgun]: Seriously, I need that money.
 

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