The Simpsons Quotes

[Cap'n Jack]

Bart: Being repeditive is my job!

 

[ToyotaDrifter]

Tester: Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe: No!
[buzz]
Alright maybe I did, but I didn't shoot him.
[ding]
Tester: It checks out. Okay, sir, you're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight.
[buzz]
A date.
[buzz]
Dinner with friends.
[buzz]
Dinner alone.
[buzz]
Watching TV alone.
[buzz]
Alright! I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog.
[buzz]
Sears catalog.
[ding]
Now would you unhook this already please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment.
[buzz]

[Bill Cosby] Pokemon??! Pokemon?! is that were you get the Poke' an the Mon'with the thing, an the thing which conmes out of the thing an its all arggghhr gerrrrrrrargghrrahhhhhaharrgh

[Ralph Wiggum] They taste like burning

[Simpson family and Co. Lisa] That's ridiculous. No body has a catchphrase.
(Homer knocks over a lamp)
Homer: D'oh!
Bart: Ay Currumba!
Marge: Hmmm!
Barney: Burp!
Nelson: Ha ha!
Maggie: (sucks on pasiphire)
Flanders: Hi-didilly-ho!
Mr. Burns: Excellent.

Silence

Lisa: (defeated) If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room. (walks out)
Homer: What kind of a catchphrase is that?

Tester:We're going to ask you some questions, and you simply anwser yes or no.. Do you understand?

Homer: YES

(Testing Machine)CAA BOOM!!!!!

ps... i get all of mine form http://www.ikevin.net/quotes/

 

[Blake]

Marge: Oh Bart, what happened?
Bart: Well we hit a little snitch where the univrse sorta collapsed in on itself.

Homer: Crap crap crpa crap crap *fading*

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Homer: "I get it, I get jokes"

 

[TB]

Lisa: That's ridiculous. No body has a catchphrase.
(Homer knocks over a lamp)
Homer: D'oh!
Bart: Ay Currumba!
Marge: Hmmm!
Barney: Burp!
Nelson: Ha ha!
Maggie: (sucks on pasiphire)
Flanders: Hi-didilly-ho!
Mr. Burns: Excellent.

Silence

Lisa: (defeated) If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room. (walks out)
Homer: What kind of a catchphrase is that?

 

[Robert Cooper]

Bart: I'm Al Unser Jr.!

Lisa: I'm Princess Margaret!

Homer: I'M DRUNK!

 

[xAkirax2004]

Homer (holding a tub of ice cream): Marge, where's that metal dealy... for digging...?

Marge: You mean a spoon?

Classic Homer.

 

[Bahbo]

Hey i got a new one!

Homer - D'oh

 

[Cap'n Jack]

bart: Her hair smells like fruit loops.
Lisa: Yeah, well I eat fruit loops for breakfast.

Ralph: Can you cook my dinner for me, my parents arnt around and I'm not aloud to use the stove.

Homer: I'm a screw up, I burned down our house.
Grandpa: No, I'm a screw up, I burnned down our house.
Homer: You know what, we're both screw ups.

 

[LOonIE]

i like granpda seeing the death in everything around him (like maggie or the lamp)

ps: i'm happy to see that there are a lot of simpsonsfanatics. congratulations to matt

 

[the_undrtaker89]

Hey i got a new one!

Homer - D'oh

Excellent (burns style)

 

[ToyotaDrifter]

LoL Thats A Good One.. Try These

Homer: Marge, since I'm not talking to Lisa, could you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell dad I'll only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat products.
Bart: You dunkin your sausages in that syrup, Home boy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself. You're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not talking to me, and secondly, I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Ah, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room!

Horst: Yon've been safety inspector for two years. What initiatives have you spear-headed in that time?
Homer: Uh, all of them?
Horst: I see... Then you must have some good ideas for the future as well.
Homer: I sure do!
...
Fritz: Such as?
Homer: Well, uh, I wish the candy machine wasn't so picky about taking beat up dollar bills, because a lot of workers really like candy.
Horst: We understand, Homer. After all, we are from the land of chocolate.
Homer: Mmm, the land of chocolate.
...
Homer: la, la, la, la, la
Fritz: Mr. Simpson?
Homer: la, la, la, la
Fritz: Mr. Simpson?
Homer: Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. We were talking about chocolate?
Horst: That was ten minutes ago.

Lisa: That's ridiculous. No body has a catchphrase.
(Homer knocks over a lamp)
Homer: D'oh!
Bart: Ay Currumba!
Marge: Hmmm!
Barney: Burp!
Nelson: Ha ha!
Maggie: (sucks on pasiphire)
Flanders: Hi-didilly-ho!
Mr. Burns: Excellent.

Silence

Lisa: (defeated) If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room. (walks out)
Homer: What kind of a catchphrase is that?

 

[DQuaN]

Tony Hawk standing at the top of a half pipe- "your'e goin down homer, then up then down, then up again. Thats how the game is played"!!! I love that quote <

 

[BAR-ZoNdA]

Bart: dad, you can sell stampy he is my best friend
Homer: dont worrie boy, ill get u a new one
Ivory Dealer: ill take that to
Homer: sold!

 

[Mike Rotch]

Homer: "Ohhhhh! Why did I have to be born a dad?"

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Homer: Make the opening scene in fast foward, everyone likes that because its funny.

 

[BAR-ZoNdA]

Homer: hey Bart. are you goin to change ur name to homer junior, if u do, kids can call you HO-JU!

 

[ND4SPD]

One of my favourites.
Homer: Hi everyone, If I could just say a few words. I'd be a better public speaker!
Bart:Ha Ha!

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Mel Gibson: Hi everybody.
Dr. Nick: ...Hi Mel Gibson!

 

[tabs]

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

 

[Bollocks#999]

A classic "Homerism" the other night, which has been mentioned here before but needs to be said again...

Crisitunity


Kent Brockman: Thankyou mayor Simpson, now all of us can have Golden showers

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Guy peeing: Wow, what are you doing in here?
Homer: What does it look like?

 

[Bollocks#999]

Movie woman(dont know her name): The guy on the left is Mel Gibson, I dont know who the other two guys are

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Mr burns: Ketchup, Ketsip, ketchup, ketsip.
Supermarket guy: hes talking to the ketchup again.

Bart:I'll do it laaaater.

 

[Bollocks#999]

Skinner: This is Principal Skinner, your principal with a message from the principal's office

 

[Bollocks#999]

Homer: Oh I see, Bart gets a gun but I dont

 

[demon of speed]

Mr Burns:"I'll crush you like this paper cup."

 

[demon of speed]

Homer: "I'm not really a religious man but if you're up there,Superman save me!"
(Homer turns on Christmas lights)Bart:"It's craptacula

 

[demon of speed]

Can anybody please add the Moe interogation scene at the police station. Who shot Mr.Burns?

 

[demon of speed]

Homer (speaking to himself about Lisa ) "Mental note, the girl knows too much."