The Simpsons Quotes

[DQuaN]

Can anybody please add the Moe interogation scene at the police station. Who shot Mr.Burns?

Here ya go:

Moe hooked up to a lie detector (hehe!)

Cop: Did you want Mr Burns dead?
Moe: No
BUZZ
Moe: Alright yes, but I didn't kill him
DING
Cop: He checks out, you're free to go
Moe: Good because I've got a hot date tonight!
BUZZ
Moe: A date
BUZZ
Moe: Dinner with friends.
BUZZ
Moe: Dinner alone.
BUZZ
Moe: Watching TV alone
BUZZ
Moe: ALL RIGHT! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog.
BUZZ
Moe: Sears catalog.
DING
Moe: Alright, will you unhook me already? I don't deserve this kinda shabby treatment!
BUZZ

 

[oscarfulz]

hahaha what a classic, Dquan you rule

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Steel mill guy 1: Theres a spark on your back!
Steel mill guy 2: Oh, get it, get it!

 

[demon of speed]

Homer "Ah sweet pity. Where would my love life have been with out it?"

 

[demon of speed]

Also Homer "With $10'000 we would be millionarre's.We could buy all kinds of things. Like love."

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Ralph: Your eyes need diapers.

Homer: I call the big one bitey.

Homer: This is teh cup holder, or if you will, cup cake.

 

[miniMADness]

Steel guy 1: We work hard and we play hard

(music starts)

"Everybody dance now!"

Awesome.

 

[Cosmic]

Burns : Did you say Booo or Boo-urns.
Everybody : Booooo
Moe man? : I said ...Boo-urns.

Edit : **** Swedish transleted text title 👎

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Homer:...And I'm not easley ammused...wow, a blue car!

 

[Event]

Grandpa- There sure are a lot of ugly kids in your neigborhood. ooh!- look at that one!

Mr. Burns- Smithers, I don't like it out here, there are too many fat children.

 

[demon of speed]

Marge: Homer, the plant said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo hoo 4 day weekend!

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Lisa: Dad, we're gonna die!
Homer: Or die Trying!

 

[Event]

Yoo Hoo! *burp*

 

[TwinTurboJay]

Willy : "there's nary a critter alive that can out run a greased scottsman "

 

[Solid Lifters]

Homer: "Marge, you being a cop makes you the man, which makes me the woman. And, I have no interest in that, besides occasionaly wearing the underware, which as we discussed is only a comfort thing."

 

[TwinTurboJay]

Homer " Save me Jebus "

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Homer: Wooooh! Recess! *Goes play on swing set* Weeeee, weeeee!

 

[DQuaN]

Lunchlady Doris: More testicles mean more iron!

 

[TwinTurboJay]

Legs to Fat Tony : "see Boss, I told you advertising in the Church bulletin would be work"

 

[DQuaN]

Lisa: Remeber, tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt

Homer's thoughts: What does that mean? Better say something or they'll think you're stupid.

Homer: Takes one to know one.

Homer's thoughts: Sweeeet!

 

[TwinTurboJay]

^ lol, love that one

Moe to Homer and his "murder" of crows " Hey, this ain't no crow bar, this is a crow bar !!! (pulls out a picture) See, the little bar and the stools...."

 

[Cap'n Jack]

That one is also great!

Asian girl: Are you leaving camp because of that boy? Because thats what I told everyone.
Marge: Yes.
Asian Girl: Your also pregnant.

 

[TwinTurboJay]

Homer " ...to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to all of lifes problems ! "

 

[Cap'n Jack]

I keep forgetting quotes!

Homer: I'm drunk. But how?

Homer: You never had the chance to become my urine.

 

[DQuaN]

Moe: Listen to me you. When I catch you, i'm gonna pull out your eyes and shove 'em down your pants. So you can watch me kick the crap out of you. OK!!?

 

[TwinTurboJay]

^ LOL I used to say that to everyone I met....great way to start off a relationship too !

 

[hanker]

Lisa - "I got a job when I was only 8, helping the homeless"
Homers - "Thats not a job, It's a waste of time"

 

[TwinTurboJay]

Homer and Former President Gerald Ford in unisen " DOH ! "

 

[Sleek Stratos]

I'd be surprised if no one has posted this one before:

Homer: *sets his diploma on fire* "I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T, I am so smart!"

Can't remember which episode it's from though.

 

[TwinTurboJay]

^^ YEAH ! LMAO love'n that one !