You can't get mad that NASCAR doesn't discipline them, when NASCAR created the rule that encourages them to do it. 'Boys Have At It' isn't just an expression, it was an open door invitation to retaliate on track. The key word here, is ON TRACK. When you have a roll cage, safer barriers, helmets and sheet metal wrapped around you. Not on pit road, not in the pits, not in the middle of the week. You have to be able to mentally and emotionally understand that what happens on the track and off the track are 2 entirely different worlds. People who can't make the disconnect, like Harvick, Childress are the ones NASCAR will penalize every time. Why? Because NASCAR told them it's okay to do it ON the track and I think by now they've made it perfectly clear that it's NOT okay to do it off the track. I'm not sure how much more clear they can be than that.
As for Kyle, you can call him a wimp, but he did the right thing. If I'm in a bar, and some 60-70 year old man tries to pick a fight with me, or take a swing, because he's drunk and pissed off, I'm not going to fight back. I'll protect myself, defend myself, but I won't be throwing any punches. When I was younger and my Mom use to smack me around, (deservingly) I didn't fight back, just because I was bigger, stronger and could. I shut my mouth, took my punishment like a man and walked away. There are times when fighting back is the right thing to do and there are times when it isn't. Real men can discern the difference and make the right choice.
I'm not saying this is actually what Kyle did, because I think he has some growing up to do still. I think Kyle (and Childress) got lucky, because Kyle knew he was on probation with NASCAR, on thin ice with Joe Gibbs for the speeding ticket, and probably just thought it was in his personal best interest to not push his luck. It might not have been for the right reasons, but Kyle still did the right thing.