Confession Booth

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Legendary
YUCK, sounds like some disgusting thing that only Americans would eat. Almost as bad as the burgers with ten patties, but worse.
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Most Americans won't eat that crap, the only people I know that eat it either have been in the military or had a military parent(Spam was originally made for the military).
 
Has anyone noticed Barracuda's plea for help and assistance in the middle of this conversation about spam. I can't really help him about it because I'm not that good wiht that kind of stuff, but just thought it might help if I pointed it out.
 
Barracuda
I've finally gotten way too close to the edge for my friends to handle, but I thank god they've been there. My friend threatened me that if I didn't go seek help in a week she'd tell my parents. If she told my parents I would honestly try to kill myself as soon as possible, so I told her to give me a chance to prove myself. She's been through the same thing but still gets down every now and then so I promised her if she wouldn't hurt herself I wouldn't either. I can't tell you how hard of a promise that has been to keep, but I've been decently strong the past week or so.

For quite some time, as I can't remember when I started, I've been starving myself every day. If I don't completely have no appetite I force myself not to eat because of how much I hate myself. The only thing keeping me eating is the munchies I get at the end of every night after 'smoking'. I also haven't been taking my medication despite desperately needing it. Lately I've been so completely out of it I don't feel attached to reality whatsoever. I drive my Barracuda around like Steve McQueen and every now and then I aim straight for a tree or concrete barrier. Luckily I'm open about how I feel when I'm 'up' so I've been able to warn my friends not to let me near my Volvo. It's currently at a friend's house and I honestly want nothing more than to drive it 70mph down his dirt road straight into a tree. The only thing keeping me from smashing into something in my Barracuda is the slight chance of survival and having nothing.

I'm honestly surprised I've made it this far and am able to type this message. I've been dealing with so much crap going on in my head I just can't handle it anymore. Being the confession booth and the fact that I know ya'll aren't very judgmental, I've more recently come to terms with the fact that I'm bi (very ironic considering how I used to be). That in itself is a huge factor in how I'm feeling. 18 years of christian brainwashing doesn't work well with a personal discovery like that.

I'm sorry for posting this, I know ya'll don't need to know about my issues, but it really feels good to just let it out and reevaluate sometimes, even if it's just to a forum.
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Sad to hear that you're having a tough time of things. Stay strong, and try to keep as close to your friends as possible. When you're feeling like that the last thing you want is to feel alone. Try and talk to your friends about it too, if they know what you're going through, how you're feeling etc. it helps keep the friendship going, but it sounds like you're pretty open with your mates so try and keep that up, don't bottle things up.

This forum is always here if you need an outlet. But often the best way is to talk to those around you, it's hard but it helps so much.
 
Barracuda
I've finally gotten way too close to the edge for my friends to handle, but I thank god they've been there. My friend threatened me that if I didn't go seek help in a week she'd tell my parents. If she told my parents I would honestly try to kill myself as soon as possible, so I told her to give me a chance to prove myself. She's been through the same thing but still gets down every now and then so I promised her if she wouldn't hurt herself I wouldn't either. I can't tell you how hard of a promise that has been to keep, but I've been decently strong the past week or so.

For quite some time, as I can't remember when I started, I've been starving myself every day. If I don't completely have no appetite I force myself not to eat because of how much I hate myself. The only thing keeping me eating is the munchies I get at the end of every night after 'smoking'. I also haven't been taking my medication despite desperately needing it. Lately I've been so completely out of it I don't feel attached to reality whatsoever. I drive my Barracuda around like Steve McQueen and every now and then I aim straight for a tree or concrete barrier. Luckily I'm open about how I feel when I'm 'up' so I've been able to warn my friends not to let me near my Volvo. It's currently at a friend's house and I honestly want nothing more than to drive it 70mph down his dirt road straight into a tree. The only thing keeping me from smashing into something in my Barracuda is the slight chance of survival and having nothing.

I'm honestly surprised I've made it this far and am able to type this message. I've been dealing with so much crap going on in my head I just can't handle it anymore. Being the confession booth and the fact that I know ya'll aren't very judgmental, I've more recently come to terms with the fact that I'm bi (very ironic considering how I used to be). That in itself is a huge factor in how I'm feeling. 18 years of christian brainwashing doesn't work well with a personal discovery like that.

I'm sorry for posting this, I know ya'll don't need to know about my issues, but it really feels good to just let it out and reevaluate sometimes, even if it's just to a forum.
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Being Bi? I had a ex that went from straight to bi then back to straight then back to bi. Don't stress on your sexual orientation because of your surrounds. Your friends are there for you to support you and so are your parents. There are always school counselors and teachers to talk to about this.
 
Barracuda
I've more recently come to terms with the fact that I'm bi (very ironic considering how I used to be). That in itself is a huge factor in how I'm feeling. 18 years of christian brainwashing doesn't work well with a personal discovery like that.
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Christian sects pick and choose the parts of the bible to follow. I wouldn't worry too much.
 
Justin
Most Americans won't eat that crap, the only people I know that eat it either have been in the military or had a military parent(Spam was originally made for the military).
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Or live in Hawaii - Spam has a fairly large following on the islands.
 
Detroitbb
Or live in Hawaii - Spam has a fairly large following on the islands.
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I've heard there also is a good amount of Vikings fans there as well(no clue if this is actually true), they must love Minnesota things.:lol:
 
Barracuda - you really need to resume taking your medication. It helps. And not taking it only makes the stress of everyday life much, much worse (plus, you have a lot of extra stuff to deal with). I also highly suggest regular meetings with a qualified professional. They can help you navigate the pitfalls in regards to your condition as they have seen and dealt with many similar issues before. Friends and family are great to talk to, but they don't have the wealth of experiences that a trained, experienced professional would.

Good luck.
 
One day my mom fried spam for dinner. It was pretty tasty, especially since we never had it before or not to my recollection.
 
Barracuda
I've finally gotten way too close to the edge for my friends to handle, but I thank god they've been there. My friend threatened me that if I didn't go seek help in a week she'd tell my parents. If she told my parents I would honestly try to kill myself as soon as possible, so I told her to give me a chance to prove myself. She's been through the same thing but still gets down every now and then so I promised her if she wouldn't hurt herself I wouldn't either. I can't tell you how hard of a promise that has been to keep, but I've been decently strong the past week or so.

For quite some time, as I can't remember when I started, I've been starving myself every day. If I don't completely have no appetite I force myself not to eat because of how much I hate myself. The only thing keeping me eating is the munchies I get at the end of every night after 'smoking'. I also haven't been taking my medication despite desperately needing it. Lately I've been so completely out of it I don't feel attached to reality whatsoever. I drive my Barracuda around like Steve McQueen and every now and then I aim straight for a tree or concrete barrier. Luckily I'm open about how I feel when I'm 'up' so I've been able to warn my friends not to let me near my Volvo. It's currently at a friend's house and I honestly want nothing more than to drive it 70mph down his dirt road straight into a tree. The only thing keeping me from smashing into something in my Barracuda is the slight chance of survival and having nothing.

I'm honestly surprised I've made it this far and am able to type this message. I've been dealing with so much crap going on in my head I just can't handle it anymore. Being the confession booth and the fact that I know ya'll aren't very judgmental, I've more recently come to terms with the fact that I'm bi (very ironic considering how I used to be). That in itself is a huge factor in how I'm feeling. 18 years of christian brainwashing doesn't work well with a personal discovery like that.

I'm sorry for posting this, I know ya'll don't need to know about my issues, but it really feels good to just let it out and reevaluate sometimes, even if it's just to a forum.
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If you ever need anyone to talk to, remember I'm always on MSN and what not, and I'm willing to talk to you about this if you ever need to. Since I've known you for about four years now, you've told me about all of this going on. I know you're better than this; I hope you can leap over this problem soon enough - keep strong mate. 👍
 
kikie
I'm leaving GTP! Don't know for how long. Don't write PM's or visitor messages. I won't read/answer them.

I seem to piss off moderators and regular members too often, which isn't my intention at all.

People don't even answer my visitor messages and PM's. :grumpy: I don't believe that they just forgot to answer.
I get misinterpreted, and I misinterpreted other's posts.
I post things that are clearly not allowed (posts being removed >> not referring to an altercation I had with a certain super moderator a few days ago).
I can take a hint.

Murphy's law maybe? >> "If anything can go even worse, it will go even worse". "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong".

I'm definitely NOT going to apologize.

Enough said.
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Kikie, I fear your expectations were to high and I hope you noticed a lot of people do try to help, also help you.

But people here, just like you have their weaknesses and live outside of GTPlanet, so can not answer every request, etc...
You also have the rule, if you can not say anything positive, shut up, so people not answering might show their own weaknesses more then you imagine.

On the other hand, I do believe that people have a tendency to sometimes express themselves a bit bluntly and that some people are less there to add to the discussion then to criticize others. I recently also asked very clearly:
use respect of the other, show you understand the other (really write it), give your opinion as your opinion (modesty is very good here) and not as the absolute truth.
 
StigNumbers
You aren't the only one. I'm pretty scared when the little pop-up shows up.
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I'm not worried if I get a PM because if its another infraction I won't have been able to log on to see it in the first place.
 
Barracuda
I've finally gotten way too close to the edge for my friends to handle, but I thank god they've been there. My friend threatened me that if I didn't go seek help in a week she'd tell my parents. If she told my parents I would honestly try to kill myself as soon as possible, so I told her to give me a chance to prove myself. She's been through the same thing but still gets down every now and then so I promised her if she wouldn't hurt herself I wouldn't either. I can't tell you how hard of a promise that has been to keep, but I've been decently strong the past week or so.

For quite some time, as I can't remember when I started, I've been starving myself every day. If I don't completely have no appetite I force myself not to eat because of how much I hate myself. The only thing keeping me eating is the munchies I get at the end of every night after 'smoking'. I also haven't been taking my medication despite desperately needing it. Lately I've been so completely out of it I don't feel attached to reality whatsoever. I drive my Barracuda around like Steve McQueen and every now and then I aim straight for a tree or concrete barrier. Luckily I'm open about how I feel when I'm 'up' so I've been able to warn my friends not to let me near my Volvo. It's currently at a friend's house and I honestly want nothing more than to drive it 70mph down his dirt road straight into a tree. The only thing keeping me from smashing into something in my Barracuda is the slight chance of survival and having nothing.

I'm honestly surprised I've made it this far and am able to type this message. I've been dealing with so much crap going on in my head I just can't handle it anymore. Being the confession booth and the fact that I know ya'll aren't very judgmental, I've more recently come to terms with the fact that I'm bi (very ironic considering how I used to be). That in itself is a huge factor in how I'm feeling. 18 years of christian brainwashing doesn't work well with a personal discovery like that.

I'm sorry for posting this, I know ya'll don't need to know about my issues, but it really feels good to just let it out and reevaluate sometimes, even if it's just to a forum.
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I'm not very good at giving advice and stuff like that. but i suggest you do something that you would be proud of(work on your car, learn something new, make something, draw something, read a book, etc). it will make you feel a lot better about yourself. also, like Detroitbb said continue your medication and see a qualified professional. Hope you feel better soon.
P.S That's a very nice first-gen Barracuda you have :)
 
Barracuda
I've finally gotten way too close to the edge for my friends to handle, but I thank god they've been there. My friend threatened me that if I didn't go seek help in a week she'd tell my parents. If she told my parents I would honestly try to kill myself as soon as possible, so I told her to give me a chance to prove myself. She's been through the same thing but still gets down every now and then so I promised her if she wouldn't hurt herself I wouldn't either. I can't tell you how hard of a promise that has been to keep, but I've been decently strong the past week or so.

For quite some time, as I can't remember when I started, I've been starving myself every day. If I don't completely have no appetite I force myself not to eat because of how much I hate myself. The only thing keeping me eating is the munchies I get at the end of every night after 'smoking'. I also haven't been taking my medication despite desperately needing it. Lately I've been so completely out of it I don't feel attached to reality whatsoever. I drive my Barracuda around like Steve McQueen and every now and then I aim straight for a tree or concrete barrier. Luckily I'm open about how I feel when I'm 'up' so I've been able to warn my friends not to let me near my Volvo. It's currently at a friend's house and I honestly want nothing more than to drive it 70mph down his dirt road straight into a tree. The only thing keeping me from smashing into something in my Barracuda is the slight chance of survival and having nothing.

I'm honestly surprised I've made it this far and am able to type this message. I've been dealing with so much crap going on in my head I just can't handle it anymore. Being the confession booth and the fact that I know ya'll aren't very judgmental, I've more recently come to terms with the fact that I'm bi (very ironic considering how I used to be). That in itself is a huge factor in how I'm feeling. 18 years of christian brainwashing doesn't work well with a personal discovery like that.

I'm sorry for posting this, I know ya'll don't need to know about my issues, but it really feels good to just let it out and reevaluate sometimes, even if it's just to a forum.
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Keep letting it out, it might help you to put things straight for yourself.

I also haven't been taking my medication despite desperately needing it.
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You seem to have been given advise from a doctor on this and you believe it is good, with 2 opinions I would go for it.

I'm convinced most of us have similar feelings about your message:
  • It is a sad situation you are in, and I hope you improve your situation soon.
  • It is very delicate to reply to this and very difficult through a forum.

So some very general ideas I live by myself:

Do not think you are alone, even the people around you that seem most different will be in situations much like yours. They just might be good at hiding it.

Concentrate on what makes you smile and happy, you will not have these moments all the time, no one has but a fool, but the few moments you can smile and be happy, help you through the misery and suffering we all go through. These can be very simple things!

I wish I was a fool. :) I already do not take myself very seriously anymore.

The past are only things you can learn from.
The future is something you can work towards, work on your future in the sense that you feel it will bring you more smiles and happiness. You will not get what you work towards, chances are it will be better, clear is it will be different. In the end go through the bad times with your head up and accept the good in your live; do not miss the good because of fixed ideas how it should be.
 
Walking home one night after being out on the town. It was dark, very difficult to see.
Anyway came across what I though was an old football lying on the ground so I gave it a small kick as I walked past it.......only it wasn't a football. It was a hedgehog!
Feeling guilty as hell, bent down to see if it was ok, intending to pick it up and put it in the nearby field.
It was ok, but the way it lay there.....it was on it's back, it's little eyes looking up at me as if to say "What the hell'd I do to deserve that you w****r?!!"
I carefully picked it up and set it to safety.
Had a good laugh about it the next day.
 
Oh nothing out of the ordinary for me. It's been the same for the past few years. Just feeling it today for some reason :-/
 

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