Confession Booth

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GT_Prologue5
I get how you feel Vandenal. I often feel the same ways. Just sitting in a mucked-up life with no one here.

I have been learning on depression and do think I'm on the verge, things have shown I'm overly stressed about work and yet I still feel like an idiot. I have HW to do now, hell I just don't see the point of it. I feel like all I'm doing is feeding myself lies to drift away from society with my idiot ideas. Noting is ever perfect. I constantly observe people and people around me and just feel like no one wants to care. I have no best friend. I have no girlfriend. I have no skills. I mean yes I talk at school, and relaitvely quite a lot, because a lot of people do know WHO I am, but I just don't seem to care anymore.

Besides, posting on here normally makes me feel even more ridiculous. Complaining to a bunch of people who don't even know me....
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VANDENAL
Yes. But you just have to keep battling through it. I have a best friend, but my parents don't really trust me around him. Its because he smoked WHAT?!? thing, he doesn't do it anymore, and I don't either. Plus video games don't help here, and when I first signed up here, I was hell-bent on getting 1000 posts, and now I'm trying to slow down. I've been sick with a stomach virus and actually want to go to school tomorrow. It seems I care less than I ever have about anything before. Now I rarely do homework, and really get on peoples nerves. I've always had a happy one moment then mad the rest of the day personality, now its a sad and mad. I build rage through the day, then get home and can't take anymore. I say mean things to my parents then go to my room and just break down, cause I can't believe I said that to the people I love. My sister offered to let me live with her in the city, so I could go to a new school and restart. I'm considering it...
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With so much going on around us in modern life, it's not strange to have confused feelings about purpose, or true direction. There is so much pulling us this way and that - sometimes you just want to scream and do really crazy things. Everything implants ideas in our heads - you HAVE to have a model as a girlfriend, drive a BMW, Merc or Audi, own a huge house, ace everything at university and go on holiday 3 times a year.

I used to be the same and did some crazy stuff. I was just barely existing but had bursts of brilliance. Then I got a grip and started making change for myself - instead of wallowing in self-pity and excuses stemming from 'I might be depressed' thinking. Seriously, you're both men - take control, because nobody else will in a way that benefits you.

Find your path! Even if it isn't your true path, it will bring you closer to finding your true path and you'll develop from it.

I think the main thing that got me started was just becoming healthier, especially cutting refined sugar out of my diet. I was either hyperactive or totally drained depending on how much sugar I had consumed. The focus I can achive without it brings me clarity.

Everything else followed on from this, I could literally list my personal development here because it was such a huge leap with every step I took.

It's different for everyone, but try to find your way onto that 'ladder' of focus/motivation. Once you have a goal, no matter how small or easily accomplished, you can push for it and every little step will reveal more.

Remember - If you have a lot of spare time your mind will try to fill that time, usually by overthinking and clouding everything in 'stuff'. Every bit of 'stuff' will then branch off and cloud itself in more 'stuff' and your mind will be full of useless nothing that steals your clarity.
 
See zed, I feel like the opposite of that. I stay away from the idiot brainwashing and modes and blah blah blah....

----------------------------

I'll admit every time I see a Honda, I mutter "God Bless You" to the driver.
Though, I don't believe in any religion. :odd:
 
I haven't felt normal lately. Well, actually it's been several months.

So my grandmother who lived with my mom, dad, brothers and I died back in November, and that has been really difficult for all of us since we were obviously very close to her. At the same time, I'm having a bit more trouble academically and am increasingly frustrated with my parents. It's important to note here that I'm 18 and going to college in a couple of months. Every day I come home to an empty house which never was the case with my grandmother around, which is sad in and of itself. I also feel suspended in adolescence here, as if I can't move forward and I need room to grow as a person. I'm hoping going away to school will fix all of that, but I feel bad for my parents, who are struggling with the fact that I'm leaving as well as my grandmother's death. My brothers left home a long time ago, and without all of us they're going to be lonely. Needless to say I kind of feel guilty for leaving.

So on one hand, I need to move on or else I'll go insane, but on the other I don't feel good about what I'm leaving behind. Oh, conflicting emotions.
 
AOS-
That's the spirit slims 👍 drink your problems away :cheers:
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Well I have had a couple drinks since I handed over my resignation letter and walked out the office on Wednesday. 👍 I'd only been there a year and although I had a lot of good friends there I don't feel any regret. After having to deal with all sorts of bs with office management it got to the point where I was like yeah I really don't want to work here anymore.

Ah well, I think I'll take some time, clear my head, chill for a bit, work on some random projects and then start looking for something else.
 
zedextreme8177
I'll admit to being a postcount addict in the past:guilty:
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I'll admit I've been Post-Grinding over the past few days...I swear I was only at 2900 5 days ago...guess that's what happens when you don't have any classes but am stuck doing homework.

 
Sorry to hear about everyones loss/depression but it ain't always about money, I'm broke compared to a business manager that I know who's got divorced twice and is stuck with over 8 kids but I'm still happier than them.
 
I wrote poetry last night and it wasnt for homework. Im so ashamed of myself for this. I feel lied to. I was told being "in love" was the greatest thing ever, this is horrible.
 
I feel ashamed for wanting to move out of my own house at 15. What I mean by this is my sister offered to let me move in with her, so I could go to another high school. A better high school. But now I could care less about the school part, I just want to get out of the house, because I don't like my mother. And I can't really explain why- okay, you know how certain people you can't stand do things that make you think what the 🤬? Yes that's why. I don't know if I even should leave, will my life be better? Probably. Am I running away from my problem? I don't know about it. I talked to my dad about it, leaving the because I can't stand mom part out of it, and he said if I wanted to go then go. But it isn't that easy. My head hurts from thinking about it. Help me!
 
vfrmaverick
I wrote poetry last night and it wasnt for homework. Im so ashamed of myself for this. I feel lied to. I was told being "in love" was the greatest thing ever, this is horrible.
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I do that occasionally too, don't take it harsh man.
 
I REALLY like this girl.
I've known her since my senior year in highschool.
She's laid back and cool, knows how to have a good time.
She works at a Honda dealer. (The owner has an S600)
She died her hair blonde.
She's not scared to get her hands dirty.
On the scale (out of 10), she's an 8.
She's always busy, and has no time to hang out anymore.
I'm always busy and have no time to hang out anymore.
We both never answer our phones because we're so busy...

I really REALLY want this girl in my life.. :(
 
VANDENAL
I feel ashamed for wanting to move out of my own house at 15. What I mean by this is my sister offered to let me move in with her, so I could go to another high school. A better high school. But now I could care less about the school part, I just want to get out of the house, because I don't like my mother. And I can't really explain why- okay, you know how certain people you can't stand do things that make you think what the 🤬? Yes that's why. I don't know if I even should leave, will my life be better? Probably. Am I running away from my problem? I don't know about it. I talked to my dad about it, leaving the because I can't stand mom part out of it, and he said if I wanted to go then go. But it isn't that easy. My head hurts from thinking about it. Help me!
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Man I think a lot of us have had similar thoughts at that age. Teenage angst is quite common around 14-16. At the end of it all you gotta realize that they are your parents and the only ones you'll ever have. Running away from home at 15 with no high school diploma and no means of income because you don't like your mom isn't very wise. Besides at 15 you aren't supposed to like your mom. :lol:
 
Looking at this thread, you'd think it was hard to be 15. I say enjoy it while you can and stop worrying so much.
 
Azuremen
Looking at this thread, you'd think it was hard to be 15. I say enjoy it while you can and stop worrying so much.
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👍

I'm a high school junior, and I'm enjoying having virtually no responsibilities. It's great fun!
 
dice1998
She's always busy, and has no time to hang out anymore.
I'm always busy and have no time to hang out anymore.
We both never answer our phones because we're so busy...
I really REALLY want this girl in my life.. :(
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The question is: Does she want you in her life?
 
dice1998
I REALLY like this girl.
I've known her since my senior year in highschool.
She's laid back and cool, knows how to have a good time.
She works at a Honda dealer. (The owner has an S600)
She died her hair blonde.
She's not scared to get her hands dirty.
On the scale (out of 10), she's an 8.
She's always busy, and has no time to hang out anymore.
I'm always busy and have no time to hang out anymore.
We both never answer our phones because we're so busy...

I really REALLY want this girl in my life.. :(
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Then make it happen... nothing ever came from wishing, hoping or praying.

Ring her, go see her. Shark dis feeeeeeemailllll.
 
Imakuni is completely right. Its better to ask her and run the risk of being rejected than to never know how she feels about you. And if she rejects you, you'll probably still be friends.
 
VANDENAL
Imakuni is completely right. Its better to ask her and run the risk of being rejected than to never know how she feels about you. And if she rejects you, you'll probably still be friends.
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You sure about that? I'm not 100%, but I don't think she'll be able to get past the fact that he likes her to focus on a friendship. Plus he said they barely communicate as it is…

You should still run the risk though. It's better knowing for sure that nothing was ever going to happen, than not knowing and regretting it later. :)
 
Ive just felt so depressed over being so shy lately. so shy infact a couple of good mates doing psychology are convinced I have social anxiety disorder :( (and after reading up on it, it may be a possibility) . I try to hide the depression so badly from everyone I just sit around in a conversation completely spaced out while everyone else never notices, which I guess never helps.. I guess for a shy person Iv got plenty of friends, but I just find it so hard starting any conversation. i try to talk to people and I just feel paralyzed from the inside.. I spent 4 weeks trying to ask this girl out, was alone with her like 20 times for 10-20 mins + and just couldnt say a word - I was even singing ynwa in my head to try and find some confidence-, just replying yes to things she said :/ when i finally did manage she had a date lined up that same day and that just killed me inside. even worse the day after, while giving advice to a friend, she said "shy guys just aren't as attractive" which just blew me apart.. I dont think she realised that she was saying it infront of me though.. despite being around her all the time in lectures etc I havnt been able to say a word when shes around since. Im glad its now easter holidays, iv told myself that over these 3 weeks im going to try and get myself sorted out, and go back a different person, I so needed the time away from uni and all those people

Im just glad theres a place i can go where no-one knows me and i can get all of this out of me..., and im not the only one with such problems :)
 
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thesrdic
Ive just felt so depressed over being so shy lately. so shy infact a couple of good mates doing psychology are convinced I have social anxiety disorder :( (and after reading up on it, it may be a possibility) . I try to hide the depression so badly from everyone I just sit around in a conversation completely spaced out while everyone else never notices, which I guess never helps.. I guess for a shy person Iv got plenty of friends, but I just find it so hard starting any conversation. i try to talk to people and I just feel paralyzed from the inside.. I spent 4 weeks trying to ask this girl out, was alone with her like 20 times for 10-20 mins + and just couldnt say a word - I was even singing ynwa in my head to try and find some confidence-, just replying yes to things she said :/ when i finally did manage she had a date lined up that same day and that just killed me inside. even worse the day after, while giving advice to a friend, she said "shy guys just aren't as attractive" which just blew me apart.. I dont think she realised that she was saying it infront of me though.. despite being around her all the time in lectures etc I havnt been able to say a word when shes around since. Im glad its now easter holidays, iv told myself that over these 3 weeks im going to try and get myself sorted out, and go back a different person, I so needed the time away from uni and all those people

Im just glad theres a place i can go where no-one knows me and i can get all of this out of me..., and im not the only one with such problems :)
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Nice to see someone doing something to help themself. As you probably know, the best way to sort shyness is social exposure (so long as you don't suffer from panic attacks) and talking to as many people in as many situations as possible.
Oh, and the 'shy guys aren't attractive' line isn't neccesarily bad - girls are very good on picking up on what guys are like, she may have been hinting that if you had a little more confidence she'd be interested.

EDIT:

VANDENAL
Imakuni is completely right. Its better to ask her and run the risk of being rejected than to never know how she feels about you. And if she rejects you, you'll probably still be friends.
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I didn't really mean go ask her out, but to get contact established again. When the talking is regular again, ramp it up - then put a ring on it!
 
Imakuni
I didn't really mean go ask her out, but to get contact established again. When the talking is regular again, ramp it up - then put a ring on it!
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Well when you said "Shark dis feeeeeeemailllll" I think that pretty much painted the picture of asking her out, especially with all those extra e's and l's.:sly:
 
eSZee
I'm starting to develop some serious trust issues.
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I think that's just being human. I wouldn't trust anyone either given in this day in age it's all about what you can do for yourself at whatever cost.
 
orimarc
The question is: Does she want you in her life?
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I honestly have no idea..

Imakuni
Then make it happen... nothing ever came from wishing, hoping or praying.

Ring her, go see her. Shark dis feeeeeeemailllll.
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I want to, but i don't want to get her fired from the Honda Dealer :(
and she lives an hour and a half away from me. :guilty:
 
The Gran Finale
Well when you said "Shark dis feeeeeeemailllll" I think that pretty much painted the picture of asking her out, especially with all those extra e's and l's.:sly:
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I got carried away, now SHARK DIS FEEEEEEEMAILLLLL!

Joey D
I think that's just being human. I wouldn't trust anyone either given in this day in age it's all about what you can do for yourself at whatever cost.
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Hmm. That sounds a not very nice place to be. Fine, be careful, but don't assume everyone is out to get you. The majority of people are fine, if a little chewy.

dice1998
I want to, but i don't want to get her fired from the Honda Dealer :(
and she lives an hour and a half away from me. :guilty:
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If you want it, but aren't willing to find a way to go get it, give it up. Surely there is SOME way that you can contact her? Just be cool about it, she's just a girl!
 

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