when you start the game off you shuold be given the option of setting driver aids, you get the usual On/Off options and a 'Recomended' option (which I believe is the default) and this will only switch on ESS and TCS if the real car has such drivers aids.
As far as control methods go I use the DS2 most of the time, but of I have the time (and the kids are not in the way) I will get the DFP out.
Regards
Scaff