Funny/Strange News Stories
- Thread starter Touring Mars
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- TenEightyOne
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Australia's deputy PM is only a bloody Kiwi!
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- Grea'er Laandan
- UKMikeyA
- UKMikeyA
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- TenEightyOne
- TenEightyOne
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[At least] Fifteen minors who sexually assaulted a donkey ... have been treated for rabies infections received from the animal.
Well that's one way to put it!
Well that's one way to put it!
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- Grea'er Laandan
- UKMikeyA
- UKMikeyA
....💡
Are you perchance personally acquainted with the chap who was caught viewing a decidedly less-than-family-friendly material during a certain 10 o'clock news bulletin? If so, do tell what that naughty material was called. For research purposes, of course.
Everybody keeps asking me that. It's a big organization, ya know.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/artic...in-claims-the-breasts-seen-on-bbc-news-at-ten
Something something must be a rogue copy something.
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- GTP_Famine
Remember when Walkers allowed people to upload pictures of themselves onto a piece of card Gary Lineker was holding and then ill-advisedly automatically Tweeted them, leading to Walkers Tweeting pictures of Lineker holding pictures of murderers, rapists and paedophiles?
The National Lottery doesn't...
The National Lottery doesn't...
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Disgraceful - Savile only has one LRemember when Walkers allowed people to upload pictures of themselves onto a piece of card Gary Lineker was holding and then ill-advisedly automatically Tweeted them, leading to Walkers Tweeting pictures of Lineker holding pictures of murderers, rapists and paedophiles?
The National Lottery doesn't...
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- TenEightyOne
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Band loses drummer in supermarket car park. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-40960413
Obelisk
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That's one way to drop the beat.
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...Was going to say, "but how?" then I saw the band photo - and I kinda understand. There are a lot of members. No wonder they didn't notice someone missing from the line-up....
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A mile and a half on a bus takes a long time. Let alone 500.
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Just laughed out loud at a 'dumb criminal' story on the Scottish evening news tonight...
A bank robber has been busted after spending some of the stolen cash on a luxury holiday which he booked at a travel agent in England, and paid £1700 in cash... in Scottish bank notes. Anyone who has ever tried to spend a Scottish £20 note anywhere in England will appreciate how daft a move this was..,
A bank robber has been busted after spending some of the stolen cash on a luxury holiday which he booked at a travel agent in England, and paid £1700 in cash... in Scottish bank notes. Anyone who has ever tried to spend a Scottish £20 note anywhere in England will appreciate how daft a move this was..,
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- RoLnD79
This isn't really funny, a bit strange I guess. More than anything, it's pretty awesome I guess. Luckily no one was hurt:
Driver jumps family SUV over rising drawbridge
https://usat.ly/2wixGkX
Driver jumps family SUV over rising drawbridge
https://usat.ly/2wixGkX
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- EelX 5
Apparently this is the universe where Judge Judy tries to solve a case of stolen Yugioh cards while Amy Schumer is watching in the background.
http://time.com/4905825/amy-schumer-judge-judy/
...just strange, especially since the Plaintiff had no real evidence anyway.
http://time.com/4905825/amy-schumer-judge-judy/
...just strange, especially since the Plaintiff had no real evidence anyway.
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- TenEightyOne
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In a continuation of @Touring Mars' "a bit funny but only because of the name" theme earlier in this thread, here's a BBC report about "upskirting". The primary victim is Gina. No apostrophe, sadly.
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- Grea'er Laandan
- UKMikeyA
- UKMikeyA
I don't think it's pronounced quite like that...
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Fake news from Breitbart...
Unfortunately, that is former Arsenal and Germany international footballer, Lukas Podolski while at the World Cup finals in Brazil...
https://static.independent.co.uk/s3...ge/2017/08/20/16/lukas-podolski-breitbart.jpg
http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/...t-ski-donald-trump-steve-bannon-a7903531.html
https://static.independent.co.uk/s3...ge/2017/08/20/16/lukas-podolski-breitbart.jpg
http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/...t-ski-donald-trump-steve-bannon-a7903531.html
Breitbart
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- TenEightyOne
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It doesn't get funnier (you'd hope) than the Top Ten Fifteen Funniest Jokes From Edinburgh. And here they are:
1. "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change" - Ken Cheng
2. "Trump's nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book" - Frankie Boyle
3. "I've given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?" - Alexei Sayle
4. "I'm looking for the girl next door type. I'm just gonna keep moving house till I find her" - Lew Fitz
5. "I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'. But he hesitated" - Andy Field
6. "Combine Harvesters. And you'll have a really big restaurant" - Mark Simmons
7. "I'm rubbish with names. It's not my fault, it's a condition. There's a name for it..." - Jimeoin
8. "I have two boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house" - Ed Byrne
9. "I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine" - Olaf Falafel
10. "Whenever someone says, 'I don't believe in coincidences.' I say, 'Oh my God, me neither!"' - Alasdair Beckett-King
11. "A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event" - Angela Barnes
12. "As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer" - Adele Cliff
13. "For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don't want to do it" - Phil Wang
14. "I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark" - Adam Hess
15. "I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act" - Tim Vine
1. "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change" - Ken Cheng
2. "Trump's nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book" - Frankie Boyle
3. "I've given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?" - Alexei Sayle
4. "I'm looking for the girl next door type. I'm just gonna keep moving house till I find her" - Lew Fitz
5. "I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'. But he hesitated" - Andy Field
6. "Combine Harvesters. And you'll have a really big restaurant" - Mark Simmons
7. "I'm rubbish with names. It's not my fault, it's a condition. There's a name for it..." - Jimeoin
8. "I have two boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house" - Ed Byrne
9. "I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine" - Olaf Falafel
10. "Whenever someone says, 'I don't believe in coincidences.' I say, 'Oh my God, me neither!"' - Alasdair Beckett-King
11. "A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event" - Angela Barnes
12. "As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer" - Adele Cliff
13. "For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don't want to do it" - Phil Wang
14. "I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark" - Adam Hess
15. "I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act" - Tim Vine
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....Two things I noticed:
1. I'd appreciate it if you provide the source.
2. How can a list of fifteen be a Top Ten, though?
BobK
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....Two things I noticed:
1. I'd appreciate it if you provide the source.
2. How can a list of fifteen be a Top Ten, though?
It's a list of fifteen jokes. There are (at least) nine other such lists.
The lists are not necessarily unique, however.
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How can a list of fifteen be a Top Ten, though?
You're lucky it wasn't the Top Ten Eighty One jokes or we'd be here all day reading them.
We've certainly come a long way from the days when Russ Abbot was a five time winner of the TV Times "Funniest Man On Television" award.
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Quite, but in this case (as @JKgo noted) I should have provided the source - this is the annual list of winners in the Funniest Jokes from the Edinburgh Festival competition.
2. How can a list of fifteen be a Top Ten, though?
I really don't know. I guess I've read far too many "Top Ten You Won't Believe Number Seven" clickbait headlines... definitely not a Top Ten moment in any sense
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Quite, but in this case (as @JKgo noted) I should have provided the source - this is the annual list of winners in the Funniest Jokes from the Edinburgh Festival competition.
I really don't know. I guess I've read far too many "Top Ten You Won't Believe Number Seven" clickbait headlines... definitely not a Top Ten moment in any sense
...From the link provided (may not be the same for other clickers, though...):
Rats chase Nigerian President out of his office. BBC.
Mr. Buhari has health issues, goes overseas to get treatment, and when he returns from the trip, he finds his Presidential Office literally damaged by rats. Not political rats, no, but real, live rodents.
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