Funny/Strange News Stories

[Mikey]

Fortnite has now been cited in at least 200 British divorce proceedings this year.

https://www.divorce-online.co.uk/bl...wrecker/?porc=hmqwGxzvCCxGdbwpGupybvdeEmDcdbh

 

[Crazy Taylor]

Good its a truly horrible, game. Lots of happy divorced wives (and/or husbands).

 

[Obelisk]

A lobster joint in Maine is experimenting, to be quite blunt, with exposing lobsters to marijuana before cooking them.

They're basically getting the lobsters baked out of their minds and then cooking them. It's supposedly more humane.

http://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/2...ke-before-killing-them-it-is-more-humane.html

 

[TenEightyOne]

A lobster joint in Maine is experimenting, to be quite blunt, with exposing lobsters to marijuana before cooking them.

They're basically getting the lobsters baked out of their minds and then cooking them. It's supposedly more humane.

http://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/2...ke-before-killing-them-it-is-more-humane.html

Apple-fed pork is delicious, now I want ganja-lobster.

 

[Crazy Taylor]

The 'Bert and Ernie' debate is still going strong

 

[TenEightyOne]

Name your favourite airline. Mine's CATHAY PACIIC.

 

[Touring Mars]

Name your favourite airline. Mine's CATHAY PACIIC.

WTF?

 

[Johnnypenso]

WTF?

You mean "where the f"?

 

[Touring Mars]

Police seize 20 tonnes of miniature Eiffel towers...

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...er-trinkets-worth-half-a-million-euros-seized

 

[Outspacer]

Police seize 20 tonnes of miniature Eiffel towers...

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...er-trinkets-worth-half-a-million-euros-seized

"That gives an idea of the scale of this market."

Roughly between 1:10,000 and 1:2,000 💡

 

[Touring Mars]

Roughly between 1:10,000 and 1:2,000 💡

A lobster joint in Maine is experimenting, to be quite blunt, with exposing lobsters to marijuana before cooking them.

They're basically getting the lobsters baked out of their minds and then cooking them. It's supposedly more humane.

http://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/2...ke-before-killing-them-it-is-more-humane.html

Brings a whole new meaning to the name of this place: http://www.lobsterpotrestaurant.co.uk/

 

[Crazy Taylor]

Swiss fans temporarily stop football game over esports demo

https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/...w-controllers-on-the-pitch-in-esports-protest

 

[TenEightyOne]

Swiss fans temporarily stop football game over esports demo

https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/...on-the-pitch-in-esports-protest?page=comments

You need to remove the '?page=comments' portion of the URL.

That said, my favourite comment was:

Far cry, isn't it? You know, small boys in the park, jumpers for goalposts. Rolling the ball in the dogs' muck, making your friend head it. Isn't it? Hmm?

Marvellous.

 

[baldgye]

You need to remove the '?page=comments' portion of the URL.

That said, my favourite comment was:

 

[Crazy Taylor]

Sorted.

Also Saido Berahino hits back of net in another way.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/saido-berahino-accused-fathering-three-13294425

Means he has more kids whilst play or Stoke than goals. "Back of the net".

 

[Touring Mars]

Hitler v Lennin in Peruvian election...

https://www.dw.com/en/good-hitler-seeks-to-fend-off-lennin-in-local-peruvian-election/a-45644404

"I am the good Hitler."

 

[Mikey]

Hitler v Lennin in Peruvian election...

https://www.dw.com/en/good-hitler-seeks-to-fend-off-lennin-in-local-peruvian-election/a-45644404

I thought this was the good Hitler.

 

[Crazy Taylor]

Man spills his guts across the A30 in Devon. His animal guts that is.

https://metro.co.uk/2018/09/27/lorr...-animal-guts-spill-all-over-the-road-7985850/

 

[Mikey]

Man spills his guts across the A30 in Devon. His animal guts that is.

https://metro.co.uk/2018/09/27/lorr...-animal-guts-spill-all-over-the-road-7985850/

Lorry driver has really offal day

This headline's certainly an intestine way of looking at things.

 

[Famine]

Man spills his guts across the A30 in Devon. His animal guts that is.

https://metro.co.uk/2018/09/27/lorr...-animal-guts-spill-all-over-the-road-7985850/

What a load of tripe.

 

[Touring Mars]

I hope there is not a shortage of pies at Tynecastle this weekend...

 

[TenEightyOne]

Woman falls into a cunning trap set by US Immigration. By accident.

 

[baldgye]

Woman fall's into a cunning trap set by US Immigration. By accident.

"Do you seek to engage in or have you ever engaged in terrorist activities, espionage, sabotage, or genocide?"

*yes*

Mandie said the mistake was "embarrassing" but she thought it would be easy to correct.

However, the American embassy in London told her it was "the worst box you could have ticked".

 

[Lizard]

Woman fall's into a cunning trap set by US Immigration. By accident.

What is the purpose of that question? It isn't like a terrorist is going to answer yes is it? No one is going to answer yes unless the computer messes up.

 

[Northstar]

What is the purpose of that question? It isn't like a terrorist is going to answer yes is it? No one is going to answer yes unless the computer messes up.

It is a form of idiot detection. We're already at our max capacity of idiots here so we need to find ways to keep the numbers down.

 

[TexRex]

Woman fall's into a cunning trap set by US Immigration. By accident.

Well...I hope she enjoys her trip.

 

[adamp93]

What is the purpose of that question? It isn't like a terrorist is going to answer yes is it? No one is going to answer yes unless the computer messes up.

"Are you a terrorist?"
"No"
"That's exactly what a terrorist would say!"

 

[TenEightyOne]

A horse goes into a bar. BBC.

Spoiler

Original punchline: ...and the barman says "why the long face?", or "porquoi le visage longue?"

 

[Crazy Taylor]

A horse goes into a bar. BBC.

Spoiler

Original punchline: ...and the barman says "why the long face?", or "porquoi le visage longue?"

Was just horsing around it seems.

 

[TexRex]

A horse goes into a bar. BBC.

Spoiler

Original punchline: ...and the barman says "why the long face?", or "porquoi le visage longue?"

"Horse runs loose in sports-betting bar."

What are the odds?