Funny/Strange News Stories

[Touring Mars]

A doctor who was banned from discussing COVID on social media has been cleared by a local court and the ban described as 'wrong'...

Hampshire GP's Covid social media ban was wrong, court rules

Dr Samuel White raised concerns about vaccines and claimed "masks do nothing" in a video.

www.bbc.co.uk

Vindicated, he appeared on right-wing loony channel GB News yesterday to discuss the situation and even recorded the interview on his own device before uploading it to his own website.

What could possibly go wrong?

 

[Joey D]

These unrealistic beauty standards are getting out of hand:

Dozens of camels barred from Saudi beauty contest over Botox

Saudi media says that authorities have conducted their biggest-ever crackdown on camel beauty contestants that received Botox injections and other artificial touch-ups

abcnews.go.com

 

[TB]

I'd ask why ya' need a purty lookin' camel but I'm skerd.

 

[Blitz24]

Someone was jealous of their humps.

 

[Sprite]

I'd ask why ya' need a purty lookin' camel but I'm skerd.

What happens in the desert stays in the desert.

 

[sirjim73]

In otter news...

Moderator edit: Language warning.

Roving Gang of 20 Otters Kicks Man’s Ass in Singapore

An unfortunate case of mistaken identity

www.gawker.com

 

[Blitz24]

Trying to follow this blurb and I feel as if the writer got distracted by a shiny trinket.

 

[TB]

The North Dakota Department of Transportation announced the winners of a public submission contest to name the state's snowplows.

I have to say I'm disappointed with Fargo's. If I'd have know about the contest, I think we could have done a lot better.

 

[Blitz24]

The North Dakota Department of Transportation announced the winners of a public submission contest to name the state's snowplows.

I have to say I'm disappointed with Fargo's. If I'd have know about the contest, I think we could have done a lot better.

No Mr. Plow? No Plowy McPlowface? NoDak can't even internet.

 

[UKMikey]

The North Dakota Department of Transportation announced the winners of a public submission contest to name the state's snowplows.

I have to say I'm disappointed with Fargo's. If I'd have know about the contest, I think we could have done a lot better.

What were you thinking along the lines of? I'm surprised Snowpiercer didn't get a look in but I guess they had to avoid directly quoting a title for copyright reasons.

 

[Spacegoat]

The North Dakota Department of Transportation announced the winners of a public submission contest to name the state's snowplows.

I have to say I'm disappointed with Fargo's. If I'd have know about the contest, I think we could have done a lot better.

No Mr Plow? Unfathomable.

I'll admit though that Darth Blader is pretty good.

 

[TB]

What were you thinking along the lines of?

Off the top of my head I like "Snow thy enemy" better than "Below Zero Hero".

 

[Joey D]

‘Omni is everywhere’: why do so many people struggle to say Omicron?

The error is to be expected, say linguists, as we don’t often have cause to introduce novel words to our common vernacular as adults

www.theguardian.com

How? I mean just how? You say it exactly like it's spelled.

 

[Pupik]

‘Omni is everywhere’: why do so many people struggle to say Omicron?

The error is to be expected, say linguists, as we don’t often have cause to introduce novel words to our common vernacular as adults

www.theguardian.com

How? I mean just how? You say it exactly like it's spelled.

To be fair, I never learned more than the first few Greek letters and maybe pi (movie) and omega (Oldsmobile).

There's no letter J so it's not a real language.

 

[Famine]

To be fair, I never learned more than the first few Greek letters and maybe pi (movie) and omega (Oldsmobile).

There's no letter J so it's not a real language.

 

[Pupik]

Well, that and Revenge of the Nerds (lambda and also pi).

 

[UKMikey]

‘Omni is everywhere’: why do so many people struggle to say Omicron?

The error is to be expected, say linguists, as we don’t often have cause to introduce novel words to our common vernacular as adults

www.theguardian.com

How? I mean just how? You say it exactly like it's spelled.

OMG.

 

[TB]

OMG.

Omnigod

 

[Blitz24]

Omnigod

I thought it was Omnigul?
Also, anyone who watched Futurama should know how to pronounce it.

 

[UKMikey]

I thought it was Omnigul?
Also, anyone who watched Futurama should know how to pronounce it.

So, roughly 8.6% of the viewing public.

 

[EngieDiesel]

Hey there pal! You look like the kinda guy who's worried about all that 5G floating around! You are? Well...

Have I got a deal for YOU! With these handy-dandy little accessories, you can block out all that nasty, unhealthy artificial 5G radiation with real, all-natural radiation! It's not coming from a cellphone tower, so it has to be better for you! And just because I like you, my good pal, I'll even throw in these fancy anti-radiation cellphone protective devices! They keep the phone waves from getting into your brain, they improve your reception, they even make you more attractive to the ladies because who doesn't appreciate a smart shopper like you, am I right?

So, how many shall I put you down for?

 

[UKMikey]

Oldtown murder suspect facing cannibalism charge

James David Russell, 39, is facing a cannibalism charge in addition to a first-degree murder charge for the Sept. 10 murder of David Flaget.

bonnersferryherald.com

 

[Blitz24]

Oldtown murder suspect facing cannibalism charge

James David Russell, 39, is facing a cannibalism charge in addition to a first-degree murder charge for the Sept. 10 murder of David Flaget.

bonnersferryherald.com

Eat the rich!

No, not like that!

 

[Joey D]

Sweden, come on man, read the room here:

Covid-19: In Sweden, a vaccine passport on a microchip implant

www.france24.com

 

[TexRex]

Florida man with drugs around penis denies they were his

Florida authorities say they found cocaine and methamphetamine wrapped around a man’s penis during a traffic stop, but the man denied the drugs were his.

apnews.com

 

[XJ40]

Florida man with drugs around penis denies they were his

Florida authorities say they found cocaine and methamphetamine wrapped around a man’s penis during a traffic stop, but the man denied the drugs were his.

apnews.com

The courts will take a dim view, I expect him to get a stiff penalty for that.

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

Florida man with drugs around penis denies they were his

Florida authorities say they found cocaine and methamphetamine wrapped around a man’s penis during a traffic stop, but the man denied the drugs were his.

apnews.com

Don't you just hate when that happens.

 

[Blitz24]

Florida man with drugs around penis denies they were his

Florida authorities say they found cocaine and methamphetamine wrapped around a man’s penis during a traffic stop, but the man denied the drugs were his.

apnews.com

When it comes to transporting drugs, expect the most strange methods. Where there's a willy, there's a way.

 

[UKMikey]

Florida man with drugs around penis denies they were his

Florida authorities say they found cocaine and methamphetamine wrapped around a man’s penis during a traffic stop, but the man denied the drugs were his.

apnews.com

Midnight Sexpress.

 

[TexRex]

He got a little cocky.