Update:
With the beautiful weather this weekend, I could've taken a nice hike somewhere out west, but instead I continued working on this.
I was on the quick to think of selling my colour printer to buy a new one as the waterslide decal paper was jamming.... but then luckily I asked myself to try other print settings and voila stiff paper can now pass through this thing without a single interruption.
Took several print settings in Illustrator to finally get it to not garble the ink and smear it down the page, but then I realized this printer can't print the same blue as what I had on the body.
So today I've printed this out and resprayed the blue to better match it.