The Chronicles of Touring ’Chris’ Mars.
TM is a troubled person who hides behind a blanket of jokes.
Sometimes poor, sometimes amazingly good, some created, some
from experience.
Here’s a few…
"Always Look On The Breidscheid Of Life"....
In reference to the UK general lection.
“Blazin -My God you guys have a ton of parties!”
“TM- So that's why I'm always hungover…”
“If Bush did hide his salami, what are the odds he could find
it again?”
“The name's Blonde, James Blonde…”
“I once went to Henley (where my mate was living) and we went
to the pub and got a bit 'merry'... as we staggered home, we went
into this place and my mate ordered a small doner kebab. The
little Chinese woman behind the counter said "Sorry, this is a
chinese restaurant", at which point we noticed a distinct lack
of kebab-related paraphenalia, some chinese menus, the obligatory
fish tank (why do chinese take-aways always have a fish-tank??)
- we felt pretty stupid. As we left, we noticed the place was
actually called 'The Jade Garden', and didn't look anything like
a kebab shop... it's still a mystery to this day…”
Re. The new Wallace and gromit movie.
“Waiter, there's a hare in my stew..”
“So you weren't exactly lapin it up then?”
“Maybe they could defend themselves with smurface-to-air missiles?”
Regarding time zones
“Not BS, just BST...”
Regarding owning a mobile phone
“I'm not in jail.…”
Re. Dunc’s shag buddy, I mean love life…
“Ouch... oh well, never mind... atleast if England don't score
tonight, you will
Probably the best
“I went to one dressed as a cross between Blo-feld and Odd-Job....
I called myself Odd-Feld... j/k “
And the worst
“The possibilities are endless... We had Ferrero Rocher and
everything... I wrapped some gold foil from a Ferrero Rocher
round my finger and lo and behold I was Goldfinger”
All these exclude a few older ones and his caption competition
entries.
12/7/06
Well it’s been a while since I’ve updated this but there was
one pun that caught my attention
When a geordie granny awoke from a coma and started speaking
with a Jamaican accent...
"Hey, my granny had a stroke, and now she speaks with a
foreign accent."
"Jamaica?"
"No, she does it on her own accord..."
(sorry... )
