I need dating advice!

[Skid Mark 33]

Have you talked to him about what was going on? A good friend should always talk....

I would definitely say you should get your friends involved, on your side. Make sure they won't be likely to pick the girl you want up. Three heads are better than two. And your mate will probably know a little more about the girl, and he can go up and talk to her.



I would have approached him after class and asked what was going on between the two of them.

Well, unfourtunatley, I've told my freinds but they dont give me any support. Sometimes I ask them for advice, cause I'm not really sure what to do. And I did'nt really want to ask my mate what was going on beause I thought he would think that I did'nt trust him. Also, he has know this girl for a very long time, because they have always gone to the same school. I think this must be why he has more confidence then me to go and talk to her...

 

[Philly]

Well, unfourtunatley, I've told my freinds but they dont give me any support. Sometimes I ask them for advice, cause I'm not really sure what to do.

Do they give you advice? Do tell them what you want them to do support-wise? My guess is that if you can really call them your friends, you aren't going up to them in the right way.

And I did'nt really want to ask my mate what was going on beause I thought he would think that I did'nt trust him. Also, he has know this girl for a very long time, because they have always gone to the same school. I think this must be why he has more confidence then me to go and talk to her...

You should never be scared to go up and talk to a friend. It looks like he may have known things you would have wanted to know. And I'm sure he would have just told you nicely if he didn't think it was a good idea. And talking it over couldn't have hurt.

 

[Skid Mark 33]

Do they give you advice? Do tell them what you want them to do support-wise? My guess is that if you can really call them your friends, you aren't going up to them in the right way.



You should never be scared to go up and talk to a friend. It looks like he may have known things you would have wanted to know. And I'm sure he would have just told you nicely if he didn't think it was a good idea. And talking it over couldn't have hurt.

Do I ask, well the answer to that is yes, but then they just always change the subject. And I'm not scared of talking to him, I'm scared of talking to her. I just worry because I think of something to talk to her about, I go up to her, look at her, and try to talk, but the words just don't come out. Don't know why, they just don't. And this freaks me out, it's like a bloody nightmare!

 

[Philly]

Do I ask, well the answer to that is yes, but then they just always change the subject. And I'm not scared of talking to him, I'm scared of talking to her. I just worry because I think of something to talk to her about, I go up to her, look at her, and try to talk, but the words just don't come out. Don't know why, they just don't. And this freaks me out, it's like a bloody nightmare!

I always talked to my friend when it was just him and me driving around Seattle. Just find a time to have a one-on-one.

And I don't know much about your situation of not being able to talk to her. I was always friends with the girls before I liked them. The fear of them finding out always forced me to act normally and be able to have a regular conversation. And if you have trouble opening your mouth, just force yourself to say a "hey! What's up?" I never have actually asked any girl to her face, so I can't help you with dropping that question.

All of this, of course, in reference to the next girl you start to like...

 

[Skid Mark 33]

I always talked to my friend when it was just him and me driving around Seattle. Just find a time to have a one-on-one.

And I don't know much about your situation of not being able to talk to her. I was always friends with the girls before I liked them. The fear of them finding out always forced me to act normally and be able to have a regular conversation. And if you have trouble opening your mouth, just force yourself to say a "hey! What's up?" I never have actually asked any girl to her face, so I can't help you with dropping that question.

All of this, of course, in reference to the next girl you start to like...

So I should still follow the advice giving to me before I told you this?

 

[Philly]

So I should still follow the advice giving to me before I told you this?

I would say so, because we know little about this girl so all of the ones you meet will probably be all the same to us. And a lot of the personal stories in this thread with different girls usually point to the same lesson.

 

[Skid Mark 33]

I would say so, because we know little about this girl so all of the ones you meet will probably be all the same to us. And a lot of the personal stories in this thread with different girls usually point to the same lesson.

Ok, thats fine with me. I could tell you a few things, but I am not going to go over the top. Like I would'nt tell you her whole name for a start.

 

[Philly]

Ok, thats fine with me. I could tell you a few things, but I am not going to go over the top. Like I would'nt tell you her hole name for a start.

Typo on the worst place? Am I the only one who found this the least bit funny?

I know I really don't need to know much more about her. That would be a little creepy.

 

[Skid Mark 33]

Typo on the worst place? Am I the only one who found this the least bit funny?

I know I really don't need to know much more about her. That would be a little creepy.

Exactly! 👍

 

[Azuremen]

Obsession != love

(!= is not equal to .. programming dies hard sometimes)

And with the power of C, we will show you this.

What do you mean by this!

At your age its all obsession really. Every guy in here that has been your age will and has pretty much agreed. And oddly enough, the first girl most guys get hung up on at your age tends to be a total biatch normally.

Nor do you now.

It's none of your business who she sleeps with (or otherwise). You don't have to deal with it in any way.

She's got the hots for someone else. Man up, move on.

Incidentally, how did you find out about the whole boyfriend/sexing thing? From her (which I would find surprising and creepy) or from one of her friends (at which point I would disregard it)?

Famine is wise, and did you ever answer his question?

A) It is not illegal for a 14 year old to have sex with another 14 year old.
B) She isnt interested in you right now, gotta cope and move on.
C) She sounds stupid. Think about this guy for a minute and ask yourself if you want to be with someone who would want to be with this guy.
D) Youre not in love with her man. You think shes hot, like everyone else apparently. Give me some reasons to believe that youre in love with someone youve barely spoken with.
E) Forget her. Seriously, forget her until she has broken up with this dude. Even then, you may not want to be with her given her history of choices.
F) Try to take a lesson from this. If you had just manned up 2 weeks ago and asked her out it might be you she was planning on experimenting with.
G) Another lesson to take from this - dont fall for flirty girls.

Best list of advice, in a nice format! +1

You've got to admit that giving a girl advice on who not to sleep with when you want to sleep with her might just be seen as a conflict of interests.

At your age, you don't know what love is. Will you spoon feed her pureed goop and change her colostomy bag after she's been paralysed in a car accident? Or do you just want to walk hand-in-hand with her in soft-focus and have her tongue down your throat?

That's the difference between love and lust.

This just had to be quoted! One of the best descriptions I have ever seen for this, ever.

Dude .. that shoulda told you something from the start. If you did end up with her you'd have serious neck problems from craning down all the time to kiss her (even on the forehead!)

Exactly! 👍

Scary, it thats the effect you wanted. SCARY MAN.

 

[Jondot]

I'd honestly just go ahead and ask. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You've got nothing to lose, really. It's not like you're friends or anything and it'd get awkward - you've barely spoken.

 

[Stevisiov]

Good advice, but she has a boyfriend apparently, so my advice is move on for now, if there is an oppertunity in future do the above post ^

nice and simple.

 

[McLaren]

Well, I am losing my head now. Guess what found out in ICT today, she has a boyfriend. And get this, she has only been going out with him for about two weeks, and now she wants to lose her virginity to him. Oh, and did I tell you she is only 14. I really do not know what. I have never had to deal with something this big before. So can anyone help me. Do I need to stop her, or just get her out of my head. Please Help...

As countless others have said, move on. Any attempt to try and tell her not to do it with her boyfriend will only cause conflict between the relationship.

And honestly, I don't think highly of anyone who breaks up someone else's relationship just because they're after the girl. In these situations, you have to put yourself in the boyfriend's shoes, and think, "Do I really want some kid telling my girlfriend when and why she shouldn't have sex?"

That kind of talk is up to the parents of the kids.

 

[Danoff]

Definitely do not go after while she's with her new borefriend unless you're prepared for some seriously advanced stuff and like to play with fire. Break-up techniques abound, but it's a dark art that's not for the faint of heart (oh, and almost useless on a relationship this new).

 

[Jondot]

Good advice, but she has a boyfriend apparently, so my advice is move on for now, if there is an oppertunity in future do the above post ^

nice and simple.

Whoops, missed that. My bad.

Yeah, just try and move on. It happens, so you just have to get over it. There's nothing wrong with still liking her, but don't let it take over your life.

 

[Danny]

Trust you to promote bigamy, Jon.

 

[Casio]

I'm probably in the minority but if you want a girl that has a boyfriend you can still bait and cast a line, but just wait for the right moment to reel it in. If you really like her just keep doing what you're doing and if you're patient enough your time may come.

Rebound = Win.

 

[Azuremen]

I'm probably in the minority but if you want a girl that has a boyfriend you can still bait and cast a line, but just wait for the right moment to reel it in. If you really like her just keep doing what you're doing and if you're patient enough your time may come.

Rebound = Win.

You can do that.... but its not worth it at his age. Its playing with a bit too much fire.

I myself am attempting a similar line... but its becoming ever more complex as I develop a friendship with the girl. And I work with her, and she is in a sorority, and her boyfriend is in a frat, and she is 19. So I might as well have dumped gasoline on everything as well.

Its gonna be an interesting few weeks... thats for sure.

 

[Philly]

I'm probably in the minority but if you want a girl that has a boyfriend you can still bait and cast a line, but just wait for the right moment to reel it in. If you really like her just keep doing what you're doing and if you're patient enough your time may come.

Rebound = Win.

How, exactly would that work? Some girl and I have pretty much liked each other and know that since Septemberish. But, the night before I decided I wanted to ask, she found some other guy. Apparently she still likes me, but is also going after this other guy too. Plus, he is with her in Oregon.

 

[Danoff]

High School relationships tend to last only a few months. So just be patient and she'll be available again. In the meantime, make yourself a little more attractive to her by dating someone else (it shows that you're date-able).

If any of you have seriously fallen for a girl who is with another guy and it doesn't look like she's ever going to leave him, let me know. There are a few things you can try. But they only work in relationships that aren't all that great to begin with. If he's the one for her you just need to move on.

 

[Boundary Layer]

Today on Dr. Phil: we talk with Dan, relationship sabateur

 

[Danoff]

Today on Dr. Phil: we talk with Dan, relationship sabateur

I've done my research.

 

[Omnis]

Yeah, he's an expert. Look for his latest book on relationships: Atlas Hugged.

 

[Philly]

High School relationships tend to last only a few months. So just be patient and she'll be available again. In the meantime, make yourself a little more attractive to her by dating someone else (it shows that you're date-able).

She is a freshman too, so I would assume that high school logic still applies here. She says that she can't decide between the two of us, so I've translated that as I lost.

I'm sure it wouldn't' last long with the other guy. She tends to go for guys that are jerks. I even got into a fight with her ex (he started it. He was jealous) who she dumped for me! Would going after some other chick make me look better or taken?

If any of you have seriously fallen for a girl who is with another guy and it doesn't look like she's ever going to leave him, let me know. There are a few things you can try. But they only work in relationships that aren't all that great to begin with. If he's the one for her you just need to move on.

I was falling all over her a week or two ago, but now I consider her more of a friend that I would really like to get with. I'm game for breaking a relationship though. I've done it before, and it sounds fun!

Today on Dr. Phil: we talk with Dan, relationship sabateur

 

[Danoff]

She tends to go for guys that are jerks.

Then you might be better off letting her learn on her own that that's a bad idea. Breaking them up might actually not be in your best interest. Of course it's dangerous to let her stay with him because it could work out.

Still, do you want to be with a girl who is attracted to jerks?

 

[Philly]

Then you might be better off letting her learn on her own that that's a bad idea. Breaking them up might actually not be in your best interest. Of course it's dangerous to let her stay with him because it could work out.

I do remember her complaining to me at some point that all of her BFs seem like nice guys when she first starts hanging out with them and they all turn out to be gangsta wanna bes.

Still, do you want to be with a girl who is attracted to jerks?

Exactly why I didn't want to be with her for the first month or so. I guess I could give it a shot. But as far as I know (The town he lives in, which is nothing to base him off), he probably will be the same as the others she has gone out with.

 

[TheCracker]

I do remember her complaining to me at some point that all of her BFs seem like nice guys when she first starts hanging out with them and they all turn out to be gangsta wanna bes.

She sounds like she's a very bad judge of character. At least she seems to want to date nice guys - plenty of women like dating jerks.

 

[Danoff]

Sounds to me like she wants to date a jerk who's nice to her. I don't think I'd want anything to do with her. But that's just a guess, I've never met her of course.

 

[Philly]

Sounds to me like she wants to date a jerk who's nice to her. I don't think I'd want anything to do with her. But that's just a guess, I've never met her of course.

I'm conflicting myself if I want her. she does have a bad record from what I can tell with guys, and a little slutty for me.

I also don't really know who she is. I have hung out with her. And she seems pretty cool from that. When I text her which happens every day, she either seems pretty nice or really cool. And the hour I spend with her over Fall break she was the average girl who doesn't know how to shut up. And her record says something else.

For the longest time I didn't want to like her but I finally admitted that I did and just in time ot miss her.

 

[Skid Mark 33]

300th post, go me. This girl is nice, really. She is'nt a slut or anything like that, she's really nice. It's been a weird three days through, it went from good to bad, but know it's good again, because I've found out today she's intrested in me as well. But I really dont need advice on this. I've just got to ask her out to the Cinema next time I see her. 👍

Edit: I know what I said before, but trust me, I'm not obsessed. I was really just trying to convince myself because, well I did'nt really want to care anymore. But hay, it was a pretty sticky mess...