oook...
look, ther are SEEEVERAL things in here. First off, I know you like how her hands came out... but NOT. they look like an old lady's hands because of how marked her bones/tendons/whatever those things are called in english are. And yes, yes, I know in real life we can see them most oft he time. But if you draw them in a young lady, she looks old.
Next, the shadows and highlights on her neck are weird as heck and, again, make her look old. Look, if you are drawing a young woman, the LAST THING you want to do is putting lines ANYWHERE, because as we know if you draw lines over a character, it will make him/her look old. Try to achieve shading without her bein' 50 years old.
Next: you need to emphazise WAY MORE her face deforming against her hand. You need to make her cheek pushed in and awkward too, not just that tiny bit you put alongside her eye. This will also affect her mouth and thank lord because her mouth is awful. I know and understand you are trying to emphasize her lips, but DONT. Or if you're gonna do it, do so without a line, only with color.
Her eyes lack expression and brightness, but I think you're not there yet so I'll wait. But the eyebrows... OMFG THE EYEBROWS. They're like two fuzzy caterpilars.
I understand you are trying to find your own style, but you really need to stick to some aspects that generally work when drawing ladys, then go from there.
You want the full pic.
