The General Relationship Thread

  • Thread starter Thread starter Type S Tony
  • 5,253 comments
  • 295,665 views
Some of you saw my post a while ago, about one girl who blah blah and we stayed friends.

What I'm really want to ask is, what's happening to me is, I knew some girls after that and none of them caught my attention. Did any of you ever been through this?
 
RJS
Some of you saw my post a while ago, about one girl who blah blah and we stayed friends.

What I'm really want to ask is, what's happening to me is, I knew some girls after that and none of them caught my attention. Did any of you ever been through this?
Click to expand...

That's called a crush. You really like a certain girl so you focus on her only. Other girls might be flirting with you but you push them away. It happens.


@MoLiEG hope they are a nice family. Last time I went on a holiday with a girl's family, tensions were high and every male in the family was a ticking time bomb; they would provoke me, etc. Everyone was pulling each other's strings. Testing the waters, you might say.
 
@Team THRT Drift, trush me, it's not a crush. We had "the talk" where she decided to be just friends in April.. Of 2013

About other girls flirting with me... That was funny :lol::lol:


And to @MoLiEG, don't know your story, but every thing sounds like is going great :)
 
RJS
@Team THRT Drift, trush me, it's not a crush. We had "the talk" where she decided to be just friends in April.. Of 2013

About other girls flirting with me... That was funny :lol::lol:


And to @MoLiEG, don't know your story, but every thing sounds like is going great :)
Click to expand...
Things could change, some girls who said "just friends" could still change their mind though.
 
@GTboyz, honestly, right now even thought she's the only girl I ever liked, I don't know if I want to be more than friends with her. As I said, this whole thing happend a year ago and it's difficult to forgive someone who hurt you, even if it wasn't her intention
 
RJS
@GTboyz, honestly, right now even thought she's the only girl I ever liked, I don't know if I want to be more than friends with her. As I said, this whole thing happend a year ago and it's difficult to forgive someone who hurt you, even if it wasn't her intention
Click to expand...
Damn, i have the same situation as you now. But right now, things seems to take a different route. I don't know if she likes me or not but there are some suspicious signs but i just dont want to get my
hopes up.
The thing is, our situation is hard, but my advice is just follow your heart. From my story above, there is
always a chance that maybe, maybe she will have a change of heart but then again, you should be careful not to get your hopes up should you decided to keep trying with her.
If you choose to be only friends with her then you should be prepared if she's become someone else's girl. This assuming you still like her, which i think you do but you just don't realize it.
 
@GTboyz, about seeing her with another guy, already happened..

My situation with her is also complicated. We met on the beginning of 2013 and at some point we talked everyday, we became very close to each other and for night to day, she stopped talking with me and she said those words that I think nobody wants to hear, "I need to talk to you".

I think that nothing will ever happen between us, and for me that's not a problem. The only thing that "worries" me is that I haven't became slightly interested in somebody in a long time.. Well, someday it will be my lucky day.
 
Can anyone help me? How the hell am I supposed to react when I know that all the girls I talk and things get a bit serious and intimate, have a crush on another dude or even date another guy? In the space of a year and a half I'm on my forth that this happens...
 
AlvaroF
Can anyone help me? How the hell am I supposed to react when I know that all the girls I talk and things get a bit serious and intimate, have a crush on another dude or even date another guy? In the space of a year and a half I'm on my forth that this happens...
Click to expand...

You can always make her change their mind. It's hard, but I don't see any other choice..
 
RJS
You can always make her change their mind. It's hard, but I don't see any other choice..
Click to expand...
But don't go overboard. That's entirely counter productive. Best thing to do is not freak out and accept that it's gonna happen from time to time
 
Except it's four in a row. I mean should I encourage them (in case of the crush) and give them advise or do what @RJS said? I mean it's the last thing I would do, but the string of bad-luck is getting into me.
 
AlvaroF
Except it's four in a row. I mean should I encourage them (in case of the crush) and give them advise or do what @RJS said? I mean it's the last thing I would do, but the string of bad-luck is getting into me.
Click to expand...
Tell them that you're no one's second option. Either you or their other guy. Then don't get your feelings hurt and go full needy texting, calling, etc. if they choose the other option. There's always another party, girl and more fun to be had
 
@AlvaroF you can take my advise, but be warned. I never had a relationship, so my advises may be kinda wrong :P

And like @cnd01 said, there's always other girls
 
Could somebody please help me, if you seen my last post, well how do I get close to her when shes hanging with her friends?
 
In one on my previous posts in here, I said that I had told this girl how I felt about her. I can't really say that my feelings are going away, because they simply aren't.

However, why I'm posting here, is because I have a question: Why am I regretting telling her how I feel? Is it because I worry that I came off as clingy, needy, desperate, etc.? Or is it the manner in which I told her (long text message)? Or maybe, is it that I'm worried about her now being driven away, but don't fully realize it yet?
 
Johnny1996
In one on my previous posts in here, I said that I had told this girl how I felt about her. I can't really say that my feelings are going away, because they simply aren't.

However, why I'm posting here, is because I have a question: Why am I regretting telling her how I feel? Is it because I worry that I came off as clingy, needy, desperate, etc.? Or is it the manner in which I told her (long text message)? Or maybe, is it that I'm worried about her now being driven away, but don't fully realize it yet?
Click to expand...

Johnny1996
In one on my previous posts in here, I said that I had told this girl how I felt about her. I can't really say that my feelings are going away, because they simply aren't.

However, why I'm posting here, is because I have a question: Why am I regretting telling her how I feel? Is it because I worry that I came off as clingy, needy, desperate, etc.? Or is it the manner in which I told her (long text message)? Or maybe, is it that I'm worried about her now being driven away, but don't fully realize it yet?
Click to expand...


You may be regretting telling her your feelings because when she didn't know you were in your safe zone the feelings were inside you, now you have told her maybe you are a bit concerned your feelings won't be recieved in the manner you intended.
We have all said something then thought damn I could have worded that so much better.
Don't worry if the girl is interested she will see maybe you are a bit nervous and give you the thumbs up.
A text is not the most subtle way to get across to her, if she doesn't accept your txt as you intended then ask to meet her and tell her honestly how you feel to her face. If her answer is yes bingo, if it is no then as difficult as it is you have to accept and respect it and move on.
Your worrying to much as now you have told her your subconsciously worried she is going to reject you.
Have confidence believe in yourself and don't wait for her to make the next move, don't stalk her but ring her or txt and ask for a meet see what she is thinking.
Fingers crossed for you and good luck.
 
Thanks for the answer, @justin credible.

Another thing I want to say is that we both have each others numbers, and we have talked a few times, so I guess that could make us distant friends at the least, which I am happy with because of how great of a person she is.
 
AlvaroF
Can anyone help me? How the hell am I supposed to react when I know that all the girls I talk and things get a bit serious and intimate, have a crush on another dude or even date another guy? In the space of a year and a half I'm on my forth that this happens...
Click to expand...
You have to accept it. You can't change their minds or get them to think they should be with you.

As Cnd said, don't allow yourself to be the second option. If you find out they like somebody else or date somebody else, don't give them anymore attention. Make them work for your affection now.
 
Johnny1996
Thanks for the answer, @justin credible.

Another thing I want to say is that we both have each others numbers, and we have talked a few times, so I guess that could make us distant friends at the least, which I am happy with because of how great of a person she is.
Click to expand...

May I ask how distant are we talking here? as in miles.
 
justin credible
May I ask how distant are we talking here? as in miles.
Click to expand...

Johnny1996
I'm not sure on miles, but she lives about an hour away.
Click to expand...

An hour is nothing if you drive. If she is worth it to you and she feels the same about you that small of a distance is not a barrier even on a evening when work is happeneing the next day. What's missing an hours sleep for someone special?
If she was spending the night at yours you wouldn't think twice about missing an hours sleep;)
 
justin credible
An hour is nothing if you drive. If she is worth it to you and she feels the same about you that small of a distance is not a barrier even on a evening when work is happeneing the next day. What's missing an hours sleep for someone special?
If she was spending the night at yours you wouldn't think twice about missing an hours sleep;)
Click to expand...
I already know that she doesn't feel the same, unless she happens to be hiding it.

In fact, she is one of two reasons, albeit both somewhat small reasons, why I'm finally getting some motivation to get my drivers permit; the other reason is that there might be a new car in the family.
 
Johnny1996
I already know that she doesn't feel the same, unless she happens to be hiding it.

In fact, she is one of two reasons, albeit both somewhat small reasons, why I'm finally getting some motivation to get my drivers permit; the other reason is that there might be a new car in the family.
Click to expand...

Get your permit and get driving then the world is your oyster.
I don't want to offend you good sir but if she doesn't feel the same I doubt she is hiding it at all, why would she? in my experience if she was interested that way she would have said so.
Sorry to be a pessimistic old git but in my experience if she wanted it she would jump at the chance the same as you would.
Feelings and love are a mean mistress I have learnt from falling for the wrong girl a couple of times, and trust me it hurts when they say no or just drift out of your life,.
The old saying of there is someone for someone somewhere is true I dated hundreds and had 2 long realtionships before at the age of 38 I met the one and we are still together all these years later and stronger than ever.
I guess I am trying to say if I am blunt is don't waste your time trying to make a relationship work if deep down you know it won't your only punnishing yourself. Drop it and move on.
Ask her straight is there any chance of a relationship if she messes you about without a straight yes or no forget it, she is trying not to hurt your feelings but honesty is the best not the easiest to accept but in a weeks time you will say thanks for being honest girl if she gives yo a straight answer.
You will find the right one eventually and realise all this and past feelings were given to you to learn from so when the right one comes along you can handle the relationship with ease. Peace bro.
 
@justin credible: I'm happy being only friends with her, and considering that I'm turning 18 this weekend and I don't know how old she is, its better to be only friends. :)
 
Johnny1996
@justin credible: I'm happy being only friends with her, and considering that I'm turning 18 this weekend and I don't know how old she is, its better to be only friends. :)
Click to expand...

You are speaking sense, I guess you have found this person through the internet, Just take care as I am sure you already know something silly like 90% of people on the internet are not what they say they are when it comes to chat sites, 90% is according to that bloke in that tv show where they go and meet people who have befriended people on the internet. jesus I sound like my dad when I was 18 :lol:

Happy Birthday for the weekend enjoy I will lift a beer for you.
 
justin credible
You are speaking sense, I guess you have found this person through the internet, Just take care as I am sure you already know something silly like 90% of people on the internet are not what they say they are when it comes to chat sites, 90% is according to that bloke in that tv show where they go and meet people who have befriended people on the internet. jesus I sound like my dad when I was 18 :lol:

Happy Birthday for the weekend enjoy I will lift a beer for you.
Click to expand...
Her and I have never talked in person (yet), but we did sit near each other in school. :)

And that beer? Yes, could you make that a root beer please? :lol:
 
I'm sure you guys have experienced this...

The girl i was in love with isn't someone i thought she would be. I was really disappointed, all this time i (and everyone i know) knew her as a nice, sweet, innocent girl. Then one day when i tried to ask her closest friend for advice, she told me some things that made me really disappointed. It's not as if her friend trying to bad talk her behind her back because i knew that her friend isn't someone like that.

Turns out she's only taking advantage of me and hung me out because she knew i like her, and she's the type that doesn't want to lose her "fans". Everytime her friend ask whether she's giving me a chance or not, she replied with "i'm considering it" jokingly or not. Even her closest friend sometimes doesn't seem to know what's on her actual mind. It also turns out that she used to had lunches with some other guy who likes her (just the two of them) when she's in a relationship with another guy, then she always told
her friend not to tell her boyfriend about it.

So i decided to cut my contact with her, i'm just too disappointed that i can't trust her anymore, maybe it's a bit too much but if she's keep considering me then i'll do her a favour by leaving her so she can narrow her choices.
 
So you're doing this based on the word of one person who may have an axe or two to grind that you don't know about?

I'd suggest doing a bit of discreet fact-checking before saying/doing something you may regret later.
 
BobK
So you're doing this based on the word of one person who may have an axe or two to grind that you don't know about?

I'd suggest doing a bit of discreet fact-checking before saying/doing something you may regret later.
Click to expand...
Yeah i have a bit of doubt sometimes but this
person is her closest, best friend. Besides, even though she's the only one who told me about these stuff, her statement is approved by all the friends.
Actually, there are times where i think she does taking advantage of me and all but because i'm too stupid of falling in love, i dismissed those thoughts. But now because her friends stories, it made me even more sure that my thoughts are right.

And i dont really understand the "axe or two to grind" part, maybe you can explain more about that ?

I still havent cut all contacts with this girl just yet since i still have doubts, but i do keep my distance
from her from now on.

Before all of this happened, i bought a birthday gift for her, and because of that, she wanted to give something back to me since our birthday is close. It gave me an impression that she felt like she owed me a gift so that's why she wanted to give something back, or sometimes i think that she wants to keep me on her palms. I think there's a big chance that i would still leave her even if her friend stories isnt true. I'm always in pain whenever i think of her instead of being happy and i don't want that anymore.
 
An axe to grind is an idiom used in the UK. A simple phrase of I say so myself.

It means to have a selfish reason for doing something. In your case, pretending to like you so she doesn't lose her fans.
 
Back