The General Relationship Thread

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Regardless of how long the relationship, i know mine wasn't long but i tried so hard to make this work. It ended up worse than it was, i don't know why i screw things up so badly.

The suicide part was long gone a few years ago. But this anxiety keeps getting worse, i had plans of telling her about it but i'm afraid i scared her off. Maybe breaking up is for the best.
 
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Dude. Try three years.

That relationship was dead two and a half years in and I dragged it out trying to breathe new life into it.

Edit: @GTboyz talk with them, do what you need. Like I've said to FWS, just give it a few months and keep track of the social dynamic around you.

I know I didnt have it the worst, but with my mental **** and way I think and outlook on life, it was pretty bad. Even if it were only a year.
 
Glad to see I'm not the only one having mental/emotional struggles right now.

The issue of me asking out the girl I liked was less fear of rejection and more fear of what would happen if we did have a relationship. A while ago, I ran into the girl I mentioned that I had a real connection with in high school and regreted not asking her out. She was really happy to see me and we joked around as always. I'm thinking of asking her out because it would be relativley simple and I feel much more confident around her. However I am still stuck on the original girl because I think we have a lot to offer each other. There are also some "developments" with some other girls at work, so my mind is all over the place.
 
Wow... this thread got awfully morbid recently. I wish I could help you guys, but most of you just need to let your wounds heal and just try to stay positive. I know it's pretty generic, but it works for me.

Anyway, I thought that whatever was happening with this girl had been dead in the water for months now. And it still is. It's just that a few of my friends and a few of hers have found out about what happened and they all want to make us a thing and frankly, I'm sick of it. It's clear to me that she doesn't like me the way I do. It's evident in the way she speaks and acts around me.

However, no matter how many times I tell her this, one of the girl's friends is convinced that we should be together and keeps trying to organise days out with the three of us. I just dismiss it normally, but she says this every time I see her and it's getting annoying. She's absolutely insists that I need a girlfriend and that I should get Tinder. She even offered to make one for me!

She just doesn't seem to understand that I'm not actively looking for a girlfriend. Currently, I'm happy as I am and I've really got more pressing issues.

There was that one girl on the bus who looked like Clementine from Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, though. She was kinda cute...

Oh God. I've become Mark Corrigan. :lol:
 
So my unicorn and I are over. Over a Whatsapp fight, no less. We're still talking but the damage is done, no turning back. I mean, she's texting first and trying to spark up a convo and I try to talk the way I used to with her but she either doesn't respond or just ends the convo. Sooo.... yeah. I'll just leave her be for the time being.


This whole situation feels weird. I break up with Audrey, go to YouTube and almost all the motovloggers I watch are breaking up with their SOs. I turn on the radio, it's all depressing 🤬 about leaving each other, depressing movies are on.. I mean, I go to watch freaking Friends... and it's the episode where Ross and Rachel break up.

Then, I come to this glorious thread, and surprise, surprise....

What is this phenomenon called? Murphy's Law?
Finagle's Law.
 
It should be called the Too Much Social Media law. Expectations are way too high these days IMO. Friends and gf's have been trying to suck me into social media for years and I steadfastly refuse. My son who is around the age of many of you here is pretty much the same. He has a simple facebook account and that's about it. Rarely uses it and doesn't spend any time following anyone else, even his girlfriend.
 
It should be called the Too Much Social Media law. Expectations are way too high these days IMO. Friends and gf's have been trying to suck me into social media for years and I steadfastly refuse. My son who is around the age of many of you here is pretty much the same. He has a simple facebook account and that's about it. Rarely uses it and doesn't spend any time following anyone else, even his girlfriend.
Couldn't agree more than that. Whenever I visit Facebook and I see posts like "my kind of boyfriend, etc." inside of me feels like disgusted because these days they want men to be like for example Kylie Jenner's bodyguard, Justin Beiber, etc.

Most of those posts that I've mention came from pages like Samy Irssak, Fortafy, and other pages that posts more on gf and bf

This is why social media should be moderated and not taken seriously. I may be using social media but that's only if its used well.
 
I only use Facebook for funny status updates and posting of the photos that I take. I also use it for sharing music with friends.

All of the relationship management, I just don't bother with it. Who needs to know who I'm dating on Facebook , and who needs to know if I'm single after we broke up.

I feel like it's just used for gloating and attention.

One of my buddies broke up with his girl friend and he got a bunch of "What happened!?"

No thanks.

If someone can't take the time to speak to you either face to face or by phone call, but rather through mainly text and social media, don't bother. It takes emotion and authenticity away from a relationship.
 
Couldn't agree more than that. Whenever I visit Facebook and I see posts like "my kind of boyfriend, etc." inside of me feels like disgusted because these days they want men to be like for example Kylie Jenner's bodyguard, Justin Beiber, etc.

Most of those posts that I've mention came from pages like Samy Irssak, Fortafy, and other pages that posts more on gf and bf

This is why social media should be moderated and not taken seriously. I may be using social media but that's only if its used well.
That's true, but the expectations I was talking about were more along the lines of expecting constant communication and constantly knowing your whereabouts and what you are doing. Call me old school if you like, because I am:sly:, but there is no one on this planet that I want to be in constant contact with, nor anyone that I want to know everything about. I love my gf but I don't want to know what she had for lunch, who she was with at 2:30 pm and I don't want to talk to her every hour on the hour all day long. I know guys in that situation and most of them are driven crazy by it but there is such an expectation around it that to try to do anything different would make them look suspicious and weird at this point. So they just put up with it.

Anyone I've ever dated over the last 10 years or so I tell them straight up front that I don't do social media, I don't always respond to texts right away and I don't always answer my phone. Sometimes *gasp* I even turn my phone off:eek::eek:. I also believe in phone etiquette. I don't answer it or respond to texts or even look at them when I'm in conversation directly with another person, be it a friend a customer, across the counter at a place of business or anywhere else. I think it's disrespectful to behave any other way. The only exception is work because I'm sometimes on call but it has a different ringtone so I know when it's work and will still wait for a break in the conversation or even go to the washroom to look at it. That means, in a practical sense, that if you text me, I might not get back to you for hours if I'm really into something or someone.

Not everyone can get used to it. One girlfriend I had to move on from because she just couldn't handle that I wasn't always available. She would call me all the time and when I didn't answer, she would barrage me with texts. I patiently tried to change her ways but she just couldn't get over it. No thanks, this is a no drama zone:lol:

It's important, IMO anyway, to be yourself and let the other person know who you really are, right from the get go. Compromise is ok for some things and not others and if you compromise things that are really important to you, you will end up regretting it and resenting the other person for it. Speaking for the men here, IMO again, when you are young you sometimes fall into the trap that doing everything your woman wants is what she wants. I know I did. Giving in, giving up, going along to get along becomes the norm because you fear losing her or fear rejection. It's not the case. Most women and all of the women you really want to date, will respect and admire a man that stands up for what he believes in and is an independent person with his own thoughts and ideas and preferences. Knowing when to draw the line is a huge part of a successful relationship in the long term. It takes a lot of trial and error to find the right balance but you'll get there eventually.
 
expecting constant communication and constantly knowing your whereabouts and what you are doing. Call me old school if you like, because I am:sly:

AMEN!

And that last paragraph, I kept thinking of Bill Burr's bit talking about the type of guy that gives in. "I guess we're making holiday cookies.... she-she makes them and I'm supposed to put the sprinkles on em..."
 
I have to be honest here, I really only read this thread out of boredom....But the time has come for me to give some props to @Johnnypenso, for me the advice you give on this thread is second to none. You appear to be a man of strong common sense and logic, and your take on social media just backs this up for me.
That is all, just wanted to give props where its due....Keep up the good work Johnny :cheers: 👍
 
For me, well I have been waiting and seeing how the one that is closer to me handles the more personal problems that I don't need to know, then her phone acts up and needed a new one. Thinking maybe trying to get together soon but she is kinda "moody" due to her monthly. Although she still considers me her boyfriend which I find that good.

Cali girl is thinking of sending me a necklace for me to wear constantly if she decides to send it. (I don't expect it)
 
I have to be honest here, I really only read this thread out of boredom....But the time has come for me to give some props to @Johnnypenso, for me the advice you give on this thread is second to none. You appear to be a man of strong common sense and logic, and your take on social media just backs this up for me.
That is all, just wanted to give props where its due....Keep up the good work Johnny :cheers: 👍
Thanks:cheers:
 
I've gotta admit that I've gone full steam on the "gettin a gf" thing (aka. forcing myself into a relationship) for about two years now and I've just given up on it. Maybe the urge was noticeable, I don't know, but from now on I'll let things happen and not try to force them.
 
Worst thing you can do is forcing yourself into a relationship. I did just that for about a year/year & half and I got nowhere. Yes, I may wasted chances along the way and completely overlooked some signs (I was a dumb dude), but I was going nowhere. Right when I said "🤬 that 🤬, I'm out, let stuff happen, don't force it" I went to vacation to Marocco and met my gf.

Lesson lernt, don't ever force anything, good things come to those who wait and you least expect.
 
Worst thing you can do is forcing yourself into a relationship. I did just that for about a year/year & half and I got nowhere. Yes, I may wasted chances along the way and completely overlooked some signs (I was a dumb dude), but I was going nowhere. Right when I said "🤬 that 🤬, I'm out, let stuff happen, don't force it" I went to vacation to Marocco and met my gf.

Lesson lernt, don't ever force anything, good things come to those who wait and you least expect.

I was the exact same way. Forced myself to find someone and missed all sorts of signs. However I don't think waiting for something to happen will work for everyone. That will only work if someone is working hard to get you. Some people in some situations do need to put in some effort to make things happen or they never will.

It really has to do with mindset. If you are so focused on simply getting into a relationship you will slip up and miss signs. You need to make things happen and not stress about it too much. This is currently my dilemma.
 
Too many people get into relationships without knowing that they are only going into it to fill gaps in their life.

I'm sure that I've said something like this in this thread. Something along the lines of many relationships being a means to an end emotionally.
 
Seeing her post about watching movie with other guy is really painful. Damn it. Why did i became so stupid with all that mistakes that caused this break up.

F-word. F-word. F-word.
 
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