The General Relationship Thread

  • Thread starter Type S Tony
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Me and my fiance have been together since February 1st 2008 (friends for about six months prior to that, met her for the first time in January 2007 when she turned up to one of our Skyline club meets with her new R32 GTS coupe) and i popped the question on September 18th last year.

Obviously we both have a love of Nissan Skylines (she owns an R32 GTS coupe, i own an R32 GTS coupe and R32 GTS-4 sedan), we also both love our video games (she's quite into war games like Call of Duty, Battlefield etc and driving games like NFS, GT, Grand Theft Auto and so on), both love cats, both love making up weird names (the name for my forum actually came about from two words we made up - she made up Crudbubbles and i made up Mooble).

Pretty much never have had a 'real' argument, we've had a handful (literally) of disagreements but never yell at each other - just the way i like it (i really hate arguing).

As far as money goes, we have a joint account plus also our own seperate ones - theres no case of 'all your money belongs to me' type thing that i've seen in some of my youngest brothers and Dad's past girlfriends.
Neither of us is 'the boss' (although we always joke that she's the boss since she's the female). She cooks, i sometimes do. I do the dishes, she sometimes does. I do most of the cleaning around the house, she does when she gets time.

She's earning more money and working less hours than me too!

We also do some things seperately. She plays soccer, futsal and BMX (used to play touch rugby too) and goes to her motorbike club meetings, track days etc. I sometimes go too but don't own a bike so can't go for rides.

But yeah - she's pretty much as close to my dream girl as its ever likely to be. :)
 
This coming Tuesday it will be 20 years since my wife and I first met in a pub at Uni. She became very upset when I had the audacity to say that Peter Gabriel's Sledgehammer was the best. song. ever. made. Funny thing is that she was really more interested in one of my mates but he was always so drunk that he was unable to have anything even resembling a coherent conversation with her. So instead she tried to explain to me how utterly foolish I was in labeling a Peter Gabriel song as the best. song. ever. made. when there was all this wonderful music by some guy named JS Bach, not to mention Camille Saint-Saëns. (Yes she was studying at a music academy)
 
Wow, thinking back to Grade 3 and 4, (I was 10) I was in 2 relationships. And I was in 1 in Grade 7. Thinking back I didn't like any of them, and hung out with my friends more than I did with them.
 
I noticed the thread title has been changed to something more appropriate. I'm guessing it's the same reason why Tony S's funny pics never display, I thought it was just my crappy PC!

I was going to start bitching about all the little things about my wife/ women in general but realised that is best left for the gear grinding thread, and after all, those little things that drive me mad are probably the things I'd miss most if she wasn't around.
 
So is this thread only about General relationships?
How about Major relationships? Or Private relationships?







Or even Sergeant relationships, or Colonel relationships?
 
Type S Tony
I know what you mean, its not so much a "concern" I just think that kids should try to be kids for as long as possible because you cant go back to being one once reality kicks in. Admittedly im 23 yrs old and still act like im 16 when im not in a work environment
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Puppy love like that is hardly a barrier from being able to "be a kid." Maturity is a whole different ballgame. A 12-year-old will not have a serious relationship.


The main thing I think is good about having a GF is you generally become a better more responsible person without even realising it, Your friends will give you crap inevitably but thats mainly because there envious
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Well, I have a problem with this. A person should find a partner that they are compatible with. Plain and simple. They should be close to or at the same level as each other as far as maturity. If you find a relationship that leaves you in a position where your partner feels themselves to be more mature than you, what happens when you grow up? Tension.

I was in a relationship for four years with a girl that I thought just "had to grow up" and we would fight all the time. It wasn't about growing up, it was about being compatible. We did not click at all and we always fought and bickered. My current girlfriend and I never fight. We don't always agree, but that has never resulted in a fight. I can't say I've ever been mad at her or annoyed with her. It's crazy and it's unlike any other relationship I've been in.

We're not exactly twins of each other either. She's more liberal, I'm more conservative. She's a SF Giants fan, I'm an LA Dodgers fan (for those that don't know baseball - it's a huge rivalry). She's very cultured and into art, theatre, and other more "refined" things while I'm more of a standard sports-loving red-blooded American male stereotype.

So how do we avoid fights? We respect each other. We both hear each other's opinions out and find ways to agree. We're both fairly intelligent (yeah right, you all know I'm a moron :P) and we both take part in each others' passions. We're both responsible and ambitious while having similar life goals (lots of travelling and a family). We find ways to spend our time together by doing things we both enjoy (travel, outdoors activities, gym), while saving the things that the other might not like for when we have time to ourselves. For me that might be video games, sports, drinking with my guy friends, etc. and for her that might be her girly wedding TV shows, shopping (I hate the mall), and so on. That way we don't force the other to do something they might not like. Plus, it helps keep your relationship from being a drag on your friends.

Some people feel like they need to spend every waking moment together and that just not the case. Everyone needs a balance. "Me time" versus "We time."

TL;DR - Find someone you get along with, respect, and can still operate independently from. Thou shalt not bicker.
 
Oh well... The crap hit the fan for me about an hour ago.

See, I'm in a relationship with a really greeat girl. I've been in said relationship for slightly mroe than three months now, and despite some problems regarding the, you know, 'love life', it was great so far.
Now, she's always wanted a tattoo. I've never liked 'em, at all. And, yeah, she got one - just now. It was just finished and I dislike it. Like, totally hate it. To the point that I ffeel it completely disffaced her. One moment she was my dream girl, but as soon as that tattoo was finished, it all went down the drain. I don't feel attracted to her anymore - not at all.

I really can't get my head around that. I mean, it's still the very same woman I desired so badly just a few hours ago, just with a bit of ink on her shoulder... And all of a sudden, nothing! I mean, the emotions are still there, but it feels as if she instantly turned into some 300lbs chick... I really don't feel any physical attraction anymore, whatosever. I do hope that it is just because it's new and all that and I expected that I'd somewhat find her less attractive with it at first (even told her so), but I never would've guessed that the reaction would be that severe.

I feel so friggin' bad right now. Partially because of the situation at hand (well, that's the bigger part, of course) and partially because I feel like a disgusting individual for reacting that way to just a tattoo... Which isn't even that big and on her shoulder, so it's basically out of sight most of the time, anyways...
 
Been doing some grave-digging to bring this thread back from the dead for a short while. Premiums on GTP are always talking about relationships, but sadly I'm no longer a Premo so I'll give this thread some new life.

Anyway, I've been struggling with something I think I may have been struggling with for 3 years now; my ex.

3 years ago just before university started for me, which is now over, I broke up with her. What actually happened I do not know for sure, but basically I just freaked out. In the last few months we were together, she seemed to be a bit paranoid about our relationship. I felt she didn't want to share me with anything or anyone, if she didn't hear a "I love you" every 5 seconds she got suspicious of things. Anyway, you can see where this is going. I was kind of fed up of feeling caged in, and feared us moving in with each other throughout university would make me completely miserable. And breaking up with someone you live together with is a pain in the butt as well.

So what's my issue? I never seemed to have gotten over her. Even now I constantly think about her, and miss her so much. We were together for only two years, but I have no idea why I can't seem to let go of her even after these 3 years.

We went to the same university. But as we went in different classes we never saw each other, other than the odd few glimpses. Are these what have kept me attached to her?

Last week I went for a mountain climb with her. I figured after 3 years she wouldn't be mad at me no more and catch up on how we've been. This is just an excuse I invited her with, though, because in the end I enjoyed the day so much being in her company and would copy-paste that day several times since then.

When I ask myself "Would I turn back time and undo the brake-up?" my immediate answer is "Yes." Would I put effort into trying to make her understand my situation? Yes. My own fault is probably that I never really sat down with her and talked about these issues, although I did make her aware of these issues in the end. My own personality is that I'm rather closed for people and even with the closest persons I often have trouble talking about certain issues.

So why can't I let her go? Did I really make a huge mistake and have I thrown away a possible lifelong companion (even though she was my first real girlfriend), or am I just sad because of a lack of some kind of affection? Not sure if affection is the right kind of word, but you guys catch my drift: Waking up next to someone, sharing good and difficult moments with someone. Pretty much just having a partner that really would stick a hand in a fire for you. I haven't had any other girlfriends since her, and no matter how much girls I have met during these 3 years, none of them gave me the same feeling as she did.

The weirdest part is how I just am not able to talk about this with my mother. I have no trouble talking of these kind of things with my father. But since he works and lives abroad, I rarely ever see him.
 
^Tough mate. Not sure anyone has the answer to that... If I come up with it, I'll let ya know 👍

So, I have a standard teem dilemma, which annoys me because i am CERTAIN that High School relationships dont work. But yet....

I'm still stupidly attached to girls. When my gf dumped me in December, I was crushed over what had been a brilliant year. Shortly after, I went to a Christmas party, and asked the girl I had sat next to all year in French to dance(OR what most teens consider "Dancing"). I liked her, got her number, and even hung out with her while doing a lengthy project. But, I just can bring myself to ask her out to lunch. Am I an idiot? We very lightly flirted during the project, but there wasnt any sure signs.

Then, theres April, who I discussed in the "That Awkward Moment" thread. She really has been like a sister to me, and today I took her to lunch. It was a great day, she was easy to talk to, everything rocked. I have no issues asking her to things because, well, I had already hung out with her outside of school for a purely social event.

I'm not saying I'm in "Love" with 2 people. It's just... I'd like to get a casual sort of dating thing going, because I really like both of them. I want to see if it is a relationship sort of friendship, but i dont want to go backwards in the friendships I have.
 
Luminis
Oh well... The crap hit the fan for me about an hour ago.

[Tattoo issue] etc.
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You sure you're not using the tattoo as an excuse? I don't know you, I don't know your situation, but you say there are problems in the "love life" which is a bit vague, but that kind of thing can be make or break.

I'm just wondering whether deep down you want out anyway, and the tattoo is the excuse you need to finish it. Just saying.
 
Bram Turismo
Anyway, I've been struggling with something I think I may have been struggling with for 3 years now; my ex... *clip*
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Well, it's never easy. You mentioned that you haven't had a girlfriend since you split up. I'm wondering whether that isn't helping your situation and that because no other girl, in your mind, can compare to her that you're basically still 'in' the relationship. All I can say is that a new girl will turn up and she will more than compare to your ex. I wouldn't mind betting that she'll turn up out of the blue from nowhere when you least expect it - they often do.

You won't ever forget those times with your ex, but things do move on. My advice? Chin up and move on... and don't try too hard to replace her. When the new girl comes along, you'll know. ;)
 
I just have a true problem with the friend zone. I can't stop being in it with so many girls :(
 
Ellis
I just have a true problem with the friend zone. I can't stop being in it with so many girls :(
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Story of my life :/
Had one relationship and frankly it can't really be labelled as one, strange thing is I feel like me and my ex (best-friend now) are going to get back together again. But I think it's going to be an on-off relationship until we leave school and gain full freedom, I agree 14 probably isn't the stage to worry about the long-term but I feel incredibly mature and feel like I'm ready for one.
 
Callum - I have a similar thing with my ex. But we both have left school. She sends me texts every so often like " I miss you" and "I still love you" and other grovely texts but itl never happen again. :grumpy:
 
At 14 I don't think the "friend zone" is so much the issue. It's more your only 14 and that in my honest opinion is too young for a relationship. Why have that pressure at that age? Have a good time with guys and girls and stop worrying about dating so much. It will happen when it happens.

I'm fairly sure at 14 most girls don't want a relationship, they just like hanging out with friends, both male and female.

I was in what I thought was the friend zone for a couple years with my current and only girlfriend and reality was she just didn't like the pressures of dating. We kind of started dating at 16 and been together ever since (Almost 5 years now).

I know that's not what you want to here but relationships especially at 14 and even 16 aren't as great as some people make them out to be.
 
Ellis
Callum - I have a similar thing with my ex. But we both have left school. She sends me texts every so often like " I miss you" and "I still love you" and other grovely texts but itl never happen again. :grumpy:
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Trouble is I sort of want to, and I think she does as well, we're just worried about if we break up again and we'll stop talking for a couple months like last time.
 
=( I wanna end mine, The only reason ive been with my Girlfriend past the first five months is outa guilt that breaking up will hurt her, and shes SUPER IN LOVE , Thing is shes not the girl i want, despite how much i hate to say this, I dont like this smoochy ouchy relationship im in, i want n independent girl who can fend for herself, My gfs no needy and atatched and conversations dont go that far past how much she loves me! WHY!?!?!?!!? all i do is listen really =/ ,. To top it of shes bipolar and her mind seems to had stayed of that of a 13 year old girl, were 16 now *shes 17* and oh good its so mundane, She wast eh perfect gf until we ran outa stuff to talk about And any flirting we do gets shot down by her over protective parents =( . dont date children please, its just a massive headache! And then when you do fall in love the girl breaks your heart and you end up like me bouncing around till i get stuck with the one who turns out to be super super not the one ! I hate being the perfect bf =( , thats why most girls dump me , im quote on quote" to perfect for me and it makes me look bad " UGH what do you women want!!! =P
 
TheeFrogmanlego
thats why most girls dump me , im quote on quote" to perfect for me and it makes me look bad " UGH what do you women want!!! =P
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I've been told that before... "you're too good for me". It sucks.
 
Means you're possibly too much of a nice guy or too predictable, aka, the perfect boyfriend by society's standards.

You got to leave some sort of mystery to yourself & not give in/listen to her every complaint unless you plan on giving her some honest opinions.
 
ZohsixGT5
I've been told that before... "you're too good for me". It sucks.
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Too Good ?

Women want the bad boys... the not so good guys, the mysterious, mischievous, men...:

the men who are not perfect, and not too good.


Too good is too boring for the girls... ... because girls just wanna have fun !

You gotta be light on your feet, playful, cheerful, know when to lead, knows when to give it to her, knows what she wants without having to ask, knows what she wants just before she has to ask you/ or request of you...
Singing to her or playing music or dancing would be a definite plus!

Girls are attracted to imperfections... not perfection...

because perfect men just aren't as manly to the ladies as they prefer...


Good Luck in your transformation
;)
 
The last time I heard that was 7 years ago. Things have changed since 👍
 
TheeFrogmanlego
=( I wanna end mine, The only reason ive been with my Girlfriend past the first five months is outa guilt that breaking up will hurt her, and shes SUPER IN LOVE , Thing is shes not the girl i want, despite how much i hate to say this, I dont like this smoochy ouchy relationship im in, i want n independent girl who can fend for herself, My gfs no needy and atatched and conversations dont go that far past how much she loves me! WHY!?!?!?!!? all i do is listen really =/ ,. To top it of shes bipolar and her mind seems to had stayed of that of a 13 year old girl, were 16 now *shes 17* and oh good its so mundane, She wast eh perfect gf until we ran outa stuff to talk about And any flirting we do gets shot down by her over protective parents =( . dont date children please, its just a massive headache! And then when you do fall in love the girl breaks your heart and you end up like me bouncing around till i get stuck with the one who turns out to be super super not the one ! I hate being the perfect bf =( , thats why most girls dump me , im quote on quote" to perfect for me and it makes me look bad " UGH what do you women want!!! =P
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Let the lady go. It hurts even more if she finds out that you were with that poor damsel out of guilt. I know how it feels and it pretty much sucks.
 
CTznOfTime
Too Good ?

Women want the bad boys... the not so good guys, the mysterious, mischievous, men...:

the men who are not perfect, and not too good.


Too good is too boring for the girls... ... because girls just wanna have fun !

You gotta be light on your feet, playful, cheerful, know when to lead, knows when to give it to her, knows what she wants without having to ask, knows what she wants just before she has to ask you/ or request of you...
Singing to her or playing music or dancing would be a definite plus!

Girls are attracted to imperfections... not perfection...

because perfect men just aren't as manly to the ladies as they prefer...


Good Luck in your transformation
;)
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Dont worry i have two shades , mabby even three if im drunk!
 

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