@
NoobMan DS
I think the whole "If they broke up with you they never loved you" thing is utter bull. I've been with girls, felt a strong bond with them, like they were the one for me, and then it fades. I mean love is just a bunch of chemical reactions in the brain so they can stop and start.
Well, alright, as I said I've never been in a relationship myself, so I'm not the best person to make a comment on it. There's certainly some truth to the last line you typed. I won't make a direct comment on the previous sentences, because I'm not even you and I can't determine which part of it was right or not.
The next thing I'm gonna say, is not specifically directed at you. I say that first as a caveat.
By nature, it seems true that the goal in physical attraction is for the two individuals to unleash their reproductive value. There are hormones and chemicals involved in such happenings, such as oxytocin. There's science involved in everything, and nowadays we rely on the scientific method to come to an understanding of how things work. They're a part of life.
But through simply knowing this and taking it for granted, you're subconsciously oversimplifying things. You can start thinking like, this causes that, that causes this, and so on, to the point where it's a perfectly linear way of thinking. A human relationship isn't like that, isn't it.
Here comes a series of questions to think about. At the start, is your wish for a relationship pleasure-derived or happiness-derived? Are you just gonna have someone to hug every ten seconds, have a few laughs when you meet each other, and think about what's gonna happen in bed sometime in the future, or do you want the relationship to be something much more? Are you just gonna do it similar to the wild animal way, quickly humping another animal, then another one after you're finished, then another one, then another one, just after witnessing such physical attractiveness, for the sake of pleasure and then, reproduction? (of course, it's not even as simple as this for animals, I'm also oversimplifying things here, and it can sound too extreme, because none of us does it completely like that, but I hope you get the point - I'm talking about mindset here) Or, are you gonna exercise your mind to improve the extensions of a loving relationship, to mean something much greater? Do you really want your concept of a relationship to be similar to sexual attraction between animals? (yes, technically we're also animals, but I'm talking about the other ones here) Our minds are better than theirs, right?
Do the strong feelings for your significant other still fade with the latter mindset? Well, sometimes you have to think, think, and think, instead of just relying on the feelings you get at a certain point in time to make decisions. Do you really believe he or she is not worth it anymore? What were the things you did together? How did you help each other? Why were you attracted to him or her in the very first place? Do you believe that it is still hopeless after you asked yourself these questions? Or, has your significant other truly been a valuable and important part of your life?
Do you still think that, undertaking those series of thought processes will not produce positive results either? You can't overcome the overwhelming displeasure or dissatisfaction, carried out by those hormonal and chemical reactions? Well, the thought processes you undertake also create chemical reactions. And unlike most animals, our minds possess the ability to reason, as we all know. Ultimately, it is through reasoning that we make decisions and act, isn't it. It is possible for negative emotions to impair the ability in reasoning, but it does not mean that emotions must rule over reason, for if that is true, the purpose of reasoning is defeated.
And, sorry, maybe it's misleading to describe that if someone left you, he or she didn't even love you in the very first place. But it depends on your concept of love, it seems. If he or she doesn't bother to think before the breakup on whether the significant other was really worth it or not, only relying on the feeling that it just doesn't seem to work anymore, maybe it's true that he or she didn't love you in the very first place. I don't know, I can't confidently define what love is either.
Lust as a response to physical attractiveness is simply hormonal and chemical reactions. Love, or a loving relationship, however...well, it is certainly still related to hormonal and chemical reactions, actually. But we still can't define it clearly. Love is still more like an ideal, and each of us gives various meanings to it. Each person can still interpret it differently. To a certain extent, it is a commitment, I'd say. But we still haven't come to an agreement on what it is.
...and so, no need to take what I say seriously, because after all, it's just a collection of my own ideals.
@
NoobMan DS
Honestly, I've said it before but if the initial attraction isn't there, I won't pursue someone.
...well, that makes sense.
But I didn't say that physical attractiveness doesn't have a role. It does create interest. Certainly it's gonna be hard for one to even get remotely interested in someone that looks like a Youabian Puma, except you have a hormonal disorder that gets you infatuated with him or her. What I tried to imply was that, it shouldn't be prioritized as the primary incentive to get into a relationship with him or her. One has to look further than that. Someone initially less attractive to you can potentially become more interesting than someone who was initially the most attractive to you, due to certain experiences I outlined in my previous post. And the person that was initially less attractive to you can potentially provide you more happiness in the long run.
That. Was. The. Deepest. Thing. I've. Ever. Read.
👍
The feels. :hug:
Thank you
I didn't think that it would cause such feelings though...
). I took action and it backfired, resulting in an even worse Valentine's day.
That's what makes it so much fun when you do
