The General Relationship Thread

[ITCC_Andrew]

Choosing a relationship over college could be the dumbest thing anyone can do. College is one thing that forces you to go out and meet new people. Slash, like McLaren said, college doesn't have to be far, even a good 2 or 3 hours drive is a good change of scenery. That's like me going to college in Chicago when i live in STL. Completely different places in a shorter than than usual distance.

And the girls you meet in college will be wonderful.


The college classmate I like might be into me, maybe; I wish there was a simple way to find out without risking my friendship. Ideas?

 

[phillgt2002]

I don't really know. Sometimes I guess you have have to be straight forward to people but don't take friendliness as true interest from her. Look for the ways she talks to you I guess.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

So hard to tell; one second she smiles at just seeing me, the next she sits on the theatre with her arms crossed during the movie she chose.


I don't know what to think.

 

[cnd01]

And the girls you meet in college will be wonderful.


The college classmate I like might be into me, maybe; I wish there was a simple way to find out without risking my friendship. Ideas?

They're not

 

[phillgt2002]

So hard to tell; one second she smiles at just seeing me, the next she sits on the theatre with her arms crossed during the movie she chose.


I don't know what to think.

Well, there isn't wrong with asking whats wrong, maybe I'm just a person who analyzes a-lot.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

They're not

You, me, back alley, 10 minutes... concon


Edit: poor translation; I mean like, a 10 minute chat. He's been driving me nuts lately, but not that nuts - poor translation maybe makes it sound worse. I'm hoping people noticed that the smiley and stuff was there to signify that I was using a joking/sarcastic intonation...

Well, there isn't wrong with asking whats wrong, maybe I'm just a person who analyzes a-lot.

Maybe. I didn't want to assume that something was wrong, though... That could be awkward...

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing"

"No? You've crossed your arms like you're upset, but you're giggling at the movie and things."

"Oh, I'm just cold."

"Oh, sorry"

*awkward silence*

 

[Team THRT Drift]

"Oh, I'm just cold."

*puts arm around her*

"Well let me fix that..."


Awkward silence eliminated. Slap may be imminent.

 

[Jay]

Maybe. I didn't want to assume that something was wrong, though... That could be awkward...

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing"

"No? You've crossed your arms like you're upset, but you're giggling at the movie and things."

"Oh, I'm just cold."

"Oh, sorry"

*awkward silence*

Is it just me or is asking someone if they're ok and their response is "I'm just cold" isn't awkward at all?

Also simplify a bit, no need to describe everything and no need to apologize at the end. e.g

"You ok"

"Umm yeah?"

"Your arms are crossed I thought something might be bothering you"

"I'm just cold"

"Ah ok" (maybe insert a suggestion if you have one, or agree/ show some empathy)

 

[McLaren]

And the girls you meet in college will be wonderful.


The college classmate I like might be into me, maybe; I wish there was a simple way to find out without risking my friendship. Ideas?

If you sincerely don't know, drop hints you're into her. Men may be stupid at picking up women's hints, but it's far from the other way around.

 

[Slash]

Choosing a relationship over college could be the dumbest thing anyone can do. College is one thing that forces you to go out and meet new people. Slash, like McLaren said, college doesn't have to be far, even a good 2 or 3 hours drive is a good change of scenery. That's like me going to college in Chicago when i live in STL. Completely different places in a shorter than than usual distance.

I've pretty much ruled out if I am going at all then this place 5 hours away is where I am going. Same with the girl. At this point I'm thinking its going to be her or no one. Call me ignorant and stupid but that how I feel. I have absolutely no interest in other women.

 

[McLaren]

I've pretty much ruled out if I am going at all then this place 5 hours away is where I am going. Same with the girl. At this point I'm thinking its going to be her or no one. Call me ignorant and stupid but that how I feel. I have absolutely no interest in other women.

If I had a dime for every time a teenager said something so dramatic about a girl.

 

[kennylmao]

"I'm just cold"

"I think we should hug"

When it's half awkward, go full awkward.

I've pretty much ruled out if I am going at all then this place 5 hours away is where I am going. Same with the girl. At this point I'm thinking its going to be her or no one. Call me ignorant and stupid but that how I feel. I have absolutely no interest in other women.

By that you mean both of you are going to the same college or what?

Also that last part, wanna bet otherwise? I used to be ignorant too.

 

[Slash]

If I had a dime for every time a teenager said something so dramatic about a girl.

Yeah, but how many can say they held on to the thought of that one girl for as long as I have?

I'm not playing around with them anymore. I'm incredibly serious in this case.

By that you mean both of you are going to the same college or what?

No she has absolutely no idea which detection to take her life after school. Cosmetology I think.

Also that last part, wanna bet otherwise? I used to be ignorant too.

Oh you bet. I can't even look at them without feeling disgusted anymore. I turned down guaranteed sex last night. I'm not playing around with this girl. I'm not playing the game with them anymore. This is the closest I have ever gotten with her and we both want the same thing. You all think I am kidding when I say I want to marry her.

 

[McLaren]

Yeah, but how many can say they held on to the thought of that one girl for as long as I have?

Uh, all of them will say something stupid like that.

I'm not playing around with them anymore. I'm incredibly serious in this case.

Again, all of them are....

You haven't even touched the halfway mark of your life, let alone began your adult life. There will be tons of other women to fall over & claim as "the one". Besides, you've posted you aren't even in a relationship with this one, which makes you like every single teenager that's had a crush.

You are in no way, shape or form, different from any other guy. Every guy has had a crush, every guy has had a girl he talks to but doesn't date, and every guy has had dreams of having a life with one of these women. I know because I was that way too.

They don't call it young & naive for nothing.

 

[kennylmao]

Yeah, but how many can say they held on to the thought of that one girl for as long as I have?

How long?

I turned down guaranteed sex last night. I'm not playing around with this girl.

Well, in that case.

Note that we're not trying to ruin your relationship or anything, but just take some time to think about it. 👍

 

[Slash]

A 7 year long crush? I would love to see someone hold on that long that isn't already in something serious.

She's coming around to the idea. She does not trust guys. I'm just letting things happen on their own without forcing it anymore.

I flat out do not want anyone else. I don't know how I can make that more clear.

How long?

6-7 years roughly.

Well, in that case.

Note that we're not trying to ruin your relationship or anything, but just take some time to think about it. 👍

I know. I just feel like you guys think it is just a phase or something because I am a teenager and whatnot. I really truly care for her more than even my own family. That why I post so much about what is going on. Every detail matters.

 

[McLaren]

A 7 year long crush? I would love to see someone hold on that long that isn't already in something serious.

A crush that obviously wasn't that serious if you still dated other girls, girls you posted about dumping for silly reasons.

I flat out do not want anyone else. I don't know how I can make that more clear.

Probably about as clear as you ignoring sound advice from people who have been there.

I know. I just feel like you guys think it is just a phase or something because I am a teenager and whatnot. I really truly care for her more than even my own family. That why I post so much about what is going on. Every detail matters.

Because we've been there. No teenager in the world will ever understand this until they reach the age of the people who tell them just that.

You are no different from anyone your age & you will not unfortunately come to that realization until you're probably my age. You caring for her is no different from teenagers that date 2 weeks & say, "I love you" to each other. They don't know what love is & you'll never know how much you truly care for this girl until you've actually endured the relationship.

 

[phillgt2002]

A 7 year long crush?

I'm sorry, but I wouldn't let a two decade crush get in the way of me potentially advancing my personal life / career. As much as it sounds like you like her, it just isn't worth it saying you 'don't like any other women'. That is something you should work on honestly, not all women are the same and just because you found the right match doesn't mean that you should rule out the rest of women. When this girl gives you a run and breaks up with you, what will you do if you don't like any other women?

This just throws me off completely.

I can't even look at them without feeling disgusted anymore. I turned down guaranteed sex last night.

 

[Slash]

@McLaren
You're probably right. Its just hard to see it now.

@phillkillv2

If she leaves me I would be devastated. Honestly I'd probably give up dating. I'm just glad hat she goes to the lengths she does to make thing work.

 

[phillgt2002]

@phillkillv2

If she leaves me I would be devastated. Honestly I'd probably give up dating. I'm just glad hat she goes to the lengths she does to make thing work.

This is why you don't write off a whole gender due to a few things someone of the same has done. Took me a while to understand, but I finally slowed myself down to understand the fact that some of the women I come across are probably like thousands of other women out there. Sure, treat women as one of a kind and special but remember that there will probably be some women out there that can completely outclass the women that you currently see/date. Then again, it isn't right to say that someone is great but can't be _____

 

[McLaren]

@McLaren
You're probably right. Its just hard to see it now.

@phillkillv2

If she leaves me I would be devastated. Honestly I'd probably give up dating. I'm just glad hat she goes to the lengths she does to make thing work.

You won't. You'll run through all the same emotions we all do during a hard breakup. In the time to follow, you'll move on. Believe me.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

I've been into some girls I know for 6 years, @Slash. Your point is invalid.


Just because she's with a different guy for those 6 years doesn't mean I would feel any differently... But, she's "off-limits" because she's happy with the other guy and I would be happy with the other girl.



It is so not one or none.

 

[Turbo_snail]

Time for a bit of a update on that girl I was talking about! I talked to the guys that were annoying her, no answer. I then found out she was depressed, and had/has suicidal thoughts. So I done the good crush thing and stayed up until 3 one night trying to help her through these thoughts. While at the one she didn't overly like me, she now seems happy talking to me, and even sometimes gets a bit flirty! So things are moving along well

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

Except that I'd remain wary; a friend of mine actually committed suicide in high school because of an insane workload...

He was going to be valedictorian in an internationally renowned school, he was a cadet and he helped his parents on top of that... But he was bullied, and had the workload of three people. He was a good man.


Point is; help them, but please don't take to her like @Slash to his own... You could get seriously hurt. Love her, sure, but not the "I would die without you" type, because you might actually have yo go through that.

 

[Slash]

This is why you don't write off a whole gender due to a few things someone of the same has done. Took me a while to understand, but I finally slowed myself down to understand the fact that some of the women I come across are probably like thousands of other women out there. Sure, treat women as one of a kind and special but remember that there will probably be some women out there that can completely outclass the women that you currently see/date. Then again, it isn't right to say that someone is great but can't be _____

What if I told you I don't want someone to outclass her?

You won't. You'll run through all the same emotions we all do during a hard breakup. In the time to follow, you'll move on. Believe me.

Lets hope it doesn't come to that point :/

I've been into some girls I know for 6 years, @Slash. Your point is invalid.


Just because she's with a different guy for those 6 years doesn't mean I would feel any differently... But, she's "off-limits" because she's happy with the other guy and I would be happy with the other girl.

Well thank god she's not in a relationship at all right now.

It is so not one or none.

I'd rather not have anyone else :/

Point is; help them, but please don't take to her like @Slash to his own... You could get seriously hurt. Love her, sure, but not the "I would die without you" type, because you might actually have yo go through that.

The difference here is I would actually be willing to.

 

[Turbo_snail]

Except that I'd remain wary; a friend of mine actually committed suicide in high school because of an insane workload...

He was going to be valedictorian in an internationally renowned school, he was a cadet and he helped his parents on top of that... But he was bullied, and had the workload of three people. He was a good man.


Point is; help them, but please don't take to her like @Slash to his own... You could get seriously hurt. Love her, sure, but not the "I would die without you" type, because you might actually have yo go through that.

Yeah I'm still wary because she still has her "moments"

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

What if I told you I don't want someone to outclass her?



Lets hope it doesn't come to that point :/




Well thank god she's not in a relationship at all right now.




I'd rather not have anyone else :/


The difference here is I would actually be willing to.

Spoken like a teenager. Been there. Started dating a new girl 9 minutes after the other broke up with me.

Edit: by the way, lads, jealousy will cause even the best looking women to want you. A girl who was previously out of your leagues might see you with another girl and realize that they want you.

Yeah I'm still wary because she still has her "moments"

Wary is a good thing; she might be a great girl going through a rough patch, or a basket case, or she might be serious.


I'm banking on the first two, but the third one scares me. I don't want to see anyone go through that; you can try to be there for her but you might not be able to save her....

 

[kennylmao]

A 7 year long crush? I would love to see someone hold on that long that isn't already in something serious.

A crush is a crush. Is a crush, is nothing more than a crush.

She's coming around to the idea. She does not trust guys. I'm just letting things happen on their own without forcing it anymore.

I flat out do not want anyone else. I don't know how I can make that more clear.

I want to believe. (Not sarcasm)

Okay, give it a year and see how things goes. One year, no more. You're still young and a year late into college wouldn't be much of a setback. In the meantime, just carry on as you will.

 

[Slash]

A girl who was previously out of your leagues might see you with another girl and realize that they want you.

Wouldn't make any difference to me. I'd already have the girl I want to spend my life with.

 

[ITCC_Andrew]

Wouldn't make any difference to me. I'd already have the girl I want to spend my life with.

Spot the teenager: done


I've been there. I've found several (3-5) girls with whom I would've been happy to spend my life.

They then proceed to either screw up their lives, date someone else in their own field of profession, or otherwise just move away to Australia.

@Turbo_snail, you read that right.