The Random Story Thread

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set of golf clubs so that she could protect his pad when he was out bustin caps and pushing dope.
 
So Tyrone went down to Comptons local pawn shop to pick up a set of clubs. He walked into the store and spoke with the man behind the counter and asked him.........
 
can you get me a set of golf clubs that havent ever been used? if you dont ill...
 
call in a couple of hard pipe hittin brothas and get medievil on your ass." So the store clerk quickly replied..............
 
while taking his shotgun, "get the hell out of my store!"
 
"lick my balls". he quickly closed the secuirty doors and yelled out "howd you like that you dirty sheep ****er!"
 
What was Tyrone to do? He had to think, and think fast. His 40 was almost empty and he knew if he didn't get his ***** a gift, she'd beat his sorry arse. So he went to the next best place, a place of..........
 
But porn and vibrators wouldn't do it for his hoe. He needed a better solution. That's when he noticed a crack baby on the street corner. He walked up to him and asked.......
 
is it just me or this ****in' place's boring tonight?
 
'gimme 20 grams of rock ot ill blow your face off'.
 
20 GRAMS OF ROCK? Mother fucer, what the fuc do you need 20 grams of rock for?
 
"ah shiat blizzatch, that ain't gonna get you laid tonight. You need.........
 
to hold the ***** at gun point and yell suck it in her ear.
 
Cool Tyrone thought. This was the best advice that he had heard for quite some time. He happily strolled away with his new plan in hand. So I don't need to get that blizatch anything for her birfday! Tyrone went down to the park to get the latest scoop and he saw nucklehead out there..............
 
beating down some punk arsed *****es. "yo home boy, whats up". nucklehead stopped beating down the ***** and replied "go **** yourself you mother****in cornboy" tyrone couldnt have some punk talkin **** to him so he pulled out his 9 and
 
started to blaze away at nucklehead. But Tyrone was a horrible shot and had already had a 40 of the OE 800 in him, so the first few hollow points missed. So he steadied his aim and that's when......
 
he ****s his pants and runs away like a little girl because knucklehead has a tactical nuke.
 
That banana was thrown by Tyrone's hoe! She said, "Nig ga, get yo gat and pop a cap in his ass before I whoop your cornrow havin ass into a.......
 
... and then she paused. Now, it's not like Tyrone's ho to pause in doing anything. Ever since childhood she'd been impulsive, destructively quick to act and judge, spewing vulgar lines of hatred to anyone daring enough to look her in the eye. This time was different though. Maybe it was just my perception but I could see the lines on her face... lines of age, like the deepening ruts that grow into the side of an old barn's wooden boards. Time had come to a stand still for just one imperceptible span of infinite time... and I was staring directly through to the other end. The world was no longer relevent here. I had finally realized my true fate, and it wasn't the fate of Tyrone's ho's deepening and sunken crack addict face. I could make time irrelevent, exist outside it, and within at the very same moment.

No sir, no more bananas for me.
 
mother****er, you dont post a ****load of stuff like that!

new story.
 
:)

one day a lepher was working at mcdonalds and one of his fingers fell into the deep fryer. rather than tell anyone he...
 
just kept frying the food. Even though the finger started to float in there he..........
 
just kept hoping it would burn up and dissapear. after several hours the finger was still there so he decided to put it in
 
a order of french fries. He placed it in the pick up window where the retarded LEBSTA baged it and......
 
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