The Simpsons Quotes

[Cap'n Jack]

Homer: Computer's have the internet now.


Homer:EMU FARM!


Homer: Gym, what's a gym...Oh a gym(On TV he say's gIm not jim)

 

[Jay]

here are some real classics (well i think so)

Homer: Oh they have the internet on Computers now!
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Homer: Welcome to the Internet friend, how may I help you?

Comic Book Guy: I am interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router thats compatible with my token ring ethernet LAN configuration?

Homer: ................................. can I have some money now?

here is a link to the audio clip, right click save as
ftp://ftp.smoovenet.com/pub/lardlad/sounds/season9/bus8.mp3

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Ralph: I eated the purple berrie....ow...oh....waaah

Bart: How are they Ralph? .......... Good?

Ralph: They taste like.... burning

 

[Cap'n Jack]

marge(to Homer):Kid's can be so crule.
bart: We can!
Lisaow Bart stop it!


BTW VIPERGTSR01, did you hear that motorbike before, it sounded pretty nice. For some reason I got scared!

 

[Jay]

no, what motorbike?

 

[Bollocks#999]

Otto: Zepplin rules!

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Originally posted by VIPERGTSR01
no, what motorbike?

Ok, maybe you don't live on the same side as hallett cove as me.

 

[Jay]

i live near the skatepark. on the car park side

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Ok. I like 5 minutes from there.


Homer:...I'm going to teach you to ride your very own bike!
bart:1)I already have a bike and 2) that's a girls bike!
Homer:Your no girl!

 

[Max Powers]

Dr. Hibbert: This is a wake up call. From now on I'll keep my eyes on the road and off of my Kool and the Gang air-freshener. Celebration's over, boys.

 

[tabs]

Bart: Blow....up....the....clown....
Homer: Go. Blow.

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Grandpa:Yay we're free...I'm cold and frightend.

 

[tabs]

Originally posted by radicool02
Grandpa:Yay we're free...I'm cold and frightend.

after that, "Let's go back inside."

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

Bart: Take him away, boys.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, I'm the chief here... bake him away, toys.
Lou: What'd you say, chief?
Chief Wiggum: Do what the kid said.

Homer: This is Ned Flanders, my friend!
Lenny: What'd he say?
Carl: I dunno, something about being gay.

 

[xAkirax2004]

Heh. I always like this one. I think it got taken off the ari because of it's content. (9/11.)

When Homer was in New York City, and calling the parking violations hotline.

Automated voice: Welcome to the New York City parking violations hotiline. To plead not guilty please press 1 now.

*Beep*

Automated voice: Your plea has been...

Big burly man voice: REJECTED.

Automated voice: Please wait by your car between the hours of 9 and 5 for parking officer Steve...

Big burly man voice: GRABOWSKI.

 

[Mike Rotch]

Fat Tony: Hey. Its Johnny Tightlips. How you doing Johnny?
Johnny Tightlips: I ain't saying nothing.
Fat Tony: Hows your mama doing?
Johnny Tightlips: Who said I had a mama?



Fat Tony: Hey Johnny, you see who is shootin at us?
Johnny Tightlips: I see a lota things.
Fat Tony: You know Johnny, you could be more helpful at times.

 

[oscarfulz]

Originally posted by VIPERGTSR01


Homer: Oh they have the internet on Computers now!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Homer: Welcome to the Internet friend, how may I help you?

Comic Book Guy: I am interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router thats compatible with my token ring ethernet LAN configuration?

Homer: ................................. can I have some money now?

hahah adding that sound file really makes it funnier than it seems 3 second pause... can i have some mony now

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Homer's mum: Homer your hugging a bum.
Homer: I know, I'm working my way up to you.
Bum:Hey where's my wine!

 

[Jay]

Originally posted by oscarfulz
hahah adding that sound file really makes it funnier than it seems 3 second pause... can i have some mony now

glad you like it

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Hey, how come I never noticed that link.

 

[Jay]

because i put it in there 12mins after i made my post, at the exact same time as you made your next post

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Oh I see.

 

[tabs]

Originally posted by Mike Rotch
Fat Tony: Hey. Its Johnny Tightlips. How you doing Johnny?
Johnny Tightlips: I ain't saying nothing.
Fat Tony: Hows your mama doing?
Johnny Tightlips: Who said I had a mama?



Fat Tony: Hey Johnny, you see who is shootin at us?
Johnny Tightlips: I see a lota things.
Fat Tony: You know Johnny, you could be more helpful at times.

Another Mobster: Johnny, you're bleeding! Where are you hit??
Johnney Tightlips: I ain't sayin nothin. *passes out*

 

[Sleek Stratos]

The quote doesn't end there.

Johnny Tightlips: "I ain't sayin nothin."
Mobster: "Well what do I tell the doctor?"
Johnny: "Tell him to suck on a lemon."

The way that last line was acted really added to the comedy of the situation. I was laughing pretty hard the first time I saw that ep. 👍

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Bart: Look grandpa is running in the marathon!
Lisa: No...that's just dad, he's dehidrated.

Homer: Mmmm invisible cola.

Homer: Mmmm Forbidden dohnut.

Homer:Mmmm sacralitious.

 

[oscarfulz]

Ned Flanders: Here's José Flanders

José FLanders: buenos ding dong dili dias señor

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Homer: Where's my tab?

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Marge:We can have our own party then...Every simpson dance now bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum!
Lisa:Fine I'll go!

Homer:Must kill moe, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...Must kill moe, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Bill cosby:What do you want kid?
KidOKEMON!
Bill cosbyokemon (then say's all this weird jibberish stuff)

Otto:Hey homer remember when you dropped your key's and I thaught the phone was ringing?
Homer:Yeaaah...OUT!

 

[oscarfulz]

BIll Cosby: ya see... they listen to the rap. which gives em'.... the BRAIN damage. with the hippin and the hoppin and the hoppin and the hippin

 

[Max Powers]

Wow, you people need to either quote things correctly or just not do it at all.

 

[Sleek Stratos]

Originally posted by SublimeDood10
Wow, you people need to either quote things correctly or just not do it at all.

I definitely agree. I only quote lines I'm sure I remember accurately. Just posting them like you think they went isn't enough.

 

[Jay]

same, i only quote if i know they are correct