The Simpsons Quotes

[millencolin]

Homer : what do you have to wash down that god awful kalkalash taste?

arab food selling guy: Mountain Dew or crab juice

Homer: eeeeeeeeewwwwwwww foul...ill take a crab juice

 

[Blake]

Hey watch it chief!

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Cheif wiggum: I can throw this gun pretty hard!

 

[Bollocks#999]

Patty: First you can start with the corns...
Selma: ...then it's on to bunion country

 

[Cap'n Jack]

 

[Solid Lifters]

Self-help guru, Brad Goodman: "Troy, this circle, (draws a circle on a chalkboard), is you."

Troy McClure: "My god! It's like you've known me my entire life!"

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Grandpa: Hello beautiful.
Agnus Skinner: In your dream's!
Grandpa: We'll see about that!...Hello beautiful.

 

[Mike Rotch]

Jesse James Zombie: "We'll rob the bank and give the money to the poor. Then we'll rob the poor and shoot the money! Yehaa!"

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Principal skinner: Do you have anything to say to your self young man?
Bart:...Eat my shorts.
Principal skinner: Alright I'll eat your shor...

Ralph: I ate too much plastic candy.

Ralph with tap shoes on: My shoes are making noises.

Little Vicki: Now turn that froun upside down!...That isn't an upside down frown, thats a smile. Work on that to.

 

[Bollocks#999]

Originally posted by Mike Rotch
Jesse James Zombie: "We'll rob the bank and give the money to the poor. Then we'll rob the poor and shoot the money! Yehaa!"

Homer: Less yappin and more zappin

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Ladys: We're the highlights in your hair do.
Apu: The extra arms on bishnu.

 

[Blake]

Gues who: D'oh!

 

[Cap'n Jack]

I dunno, look's like a tough one.

 

[Bollocks#999]

Mr.Burns: ...And only finding slack jawed gawkers...

Later

Mr.Burns: Arrest the baby!
Chief Wiggum: Yeah right, nobodys gonna arrest a baby, except maybe Texas

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Freddy Quimby: Say chouder!
Butler: Choudeeer.

 

[xAkirax2004]

Originally posted by radicool02
Freddy Quimby: Say chouder!
Butler: Choudeeer.

Jeez. Don't you know?

If you live in New England, It goes..

Chowdah.

 

[Cap'n Jack]

I live no where near there. I live in Australia.

 

[Bollocks#999]

Mr.Burns: One, One, damnit, I'll just pay for the liposuction
Homer: Woo hoo

 

[Blake]

Lisa: I find it ironic that Dad saved the day while a slimmer man would have fallen to his death.
Bart: I find it ironic that for one dad's but prevented the release of toxic ga...
Marge: Bart!

Bart: Hey America,
You're so fine,
You're so fine,
You rock my mind,
America.

 

[NitrousOxide308]

homer: ah i wish i had a dog with a saddle

 

[xAkirax2004]

Heh...From the episode when Lisa made the Linguo robot.

Homer: Me like bear

Linguo: I like beer.

Homer: Aww! He must be a party robot! (Feeds it beer)

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Linguo: Grammer overload!

 

[Bollocks#999]

Homer: That bird is killing that elephant
Lisa: No dad, he's grooming him
Homer: Grooming ay

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Homer: If it's brown drink it down, if it's black tip it back.

 

[Bollocks#999]

Homer: If a woman says nothing is wrong, then everything is wrong and if a woman says it isnt funny, you better not laugh your ass off

 

[koolsax]

Linguo dead?
Linguo..is....dead.
Nooooooooo

No beer and no t.v. make Homer something something.
Go crazy?
Don't mind if I do!

 

[Mike Rotch]

Homer: And now my dream is shattered into shards of a shattered dream.

 

[axn_man]

Bart: I thought you wanted a challenge Lisa.

Lisa: Well duh... I challenge I could do.

 

[tabs]

Ned: Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all... nothing at all... nothing at all.
Homer: Oh, stupid sexy Flanders.

 

[qjasonp]

Homer "I guess I shouldn't of eating that packet of dry gravy I found in the parking lot."