The Simpsons Quotes

[Blake]

Marge: Oh wow, a zen pond, now I have a place to hear my thoughts *how much money did he piss away on this*

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Marge: Now I'm going to think about thing's I'd like to perchase...Oh I like that, oh that's good...I don't have one of those.

Nelson: HAHA, your mum's in jail.
bart: So is your's.
Nelson: Oh yeah...let's play.

 

[Blake]

Proffesor: Well I see alot of new faces, but you know what they say, out with the old in with the new-cleus
Everyone except Homer: *laughing*
Proffesor: *drops papers*
Homer: *laughing* Ha did you see that, he dropped his, hahahaha, he dropped hi... hahahahaha, did you see him drop his papers, ahahahahahaha!

 

[Bollocks#999]

Marge: Their floors are sticky mart,
Lisa: They made dad sicky mart
Bart: lets hurl a brickie mart
Homer: the kwickie mart is so, d'oh

 

[Blake]

Apu: This is the first ever convenient store.
Homer: It's not very convenient.

 

[Solid Lifters]

Homer - "We're here! We're Queer! We don't want anymore bears!"

 

[Blake]

Mmmm, forbidden doughnut...

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Bart:Bean's bean's the musical fruit the more you eat the more you toot!

 

[Bollocks#999]

Originally posted by Blake
Apu: This is the first ever convenient store.
Homer: It's not very convenient.

Apu: must you dump on everything we do?

 

[Blake]

Homer: Are we in India yet?
Apu: No.
Homer: Are we in India yet?
Apu: No.
Homer: Are we in India yet?
Apu: No.
Homer: Are we in India yet?
Apu: No.
Homer: Are we in India yet?
Apu: No. Oh wait, Nnnnnnow we are.

 

[Solid Lifters]

Homer "Come'on Marge! It's uterus, not uteryou!"

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Ralph: Miss Hoover, my worm crawled in my mouth and I ate it.

Ralph: my milk money...AND MY MILK!

Ralph: I'm idaho.

 

[Blake]

Mmmmm, sacralisious...*drools*

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Bart: That sounded human
Robot(Homer): THE HELL IT DID!

 

[Blake]

Lisa: I'll just call you Snowball 2 and pretend this whole thing never happened.
Skinner: Isn't that a bit of a cheat?
Lisa: Yes Principle Tanzerian...
Skinner: Lisa, Snowball 2 *walks off*

 

[Mike Rotch]

Announcer: "Welcome to the Monkey Olympics, only here on Fox!"

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Dr. Nick "In-flammable means flammable? What a country!"

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Bart: What's with you and potato's?
Marge: I just think there neat.

 

[Jay]

Bart: homer have you seen my skateboard
Homer: i gave it to pepi
Bart: whos pepi
Homer:he's my little brother, thats right your not the only one who can abuse a non-profit oraganisation

 

[Blake]

Press: Is this a joke?
NASA Reperesentative: No.
Press: No seriously, is this a joke?
NASA Reperesentative: No, are there any toher questions... Any that aren't asking whether it is a joke.
Press: I have a question for the chef, what do you think of untrained men being sent into space?
Homer: I'll field this one. I think we will be perfectly fine unless we land on that planet of the apes. Wait..Statue of Liberty...That was our planet! Damnn you! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Judge trudy: Yeah, I was like that when I was a young boy.

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Milhouse: I knew the dog before he came to class.
Class: Aww...

 

[oscarfulz]

Homer: USA! USA!

 

[DQuaN]

April fo..... *KAAABBBBOOOOOOMMMM*

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Homer: Doh!

Lisa: If you want me I'll be in my room.

Marge: (is it possible t o spell her quote?)

bart: Ay Carumba!

Barny: Burrrp!

Apu: Thankyou, come again.

Snake: Bye!

Krusty: HEY HEY!

Dr Nick: Hi everybody!

 

[Mike Rotch]

Homer in Viagragade commercial -

Woman: Oh Steve, you are soooo hot. How do you do it?
Steve (Homer): I use Viagragade. It gives me a full head of hair, and it helps me down there! So what are you waiting for, losers?

Announcer: Side-effects include loss of scalp and penis.

Homer: What!

 

[millencolin]

TRA-AMP-OLINE



i love that line so much

 

[Cap'n Jack]

I thaught it was tramp-amp-oline?

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Alison's dad: You know what? I have a ball, perhaps you'd like to bounce it.

 

[Mike Rotch]

Lawyer: Mr Simpson, my witness claims you have anger management probelms

Homer: Why you little! Ohh..uuuh... I mean, that was a tiny lapse in my otherwise calm personality.
Judge: Will the court stenographer please read the last statement.
Stenographer: "Why you little!"
Homer to stenographer: Why you little!
Bart: Hahaha.
Homer to Bart: Why you little!
Judge: mhm
Homer to judge: Why you little!