The Thread About Ponies, Logistics and General Weirdness (And Gilda)TV

Gravekeeper · Nov 10, 2011

Toronado
Skintight, wet, white shirts are best shirts.

Fixed that for ya.

race'emhard
The SR-71 is actually a very, very dark blue that looks like black.

You are indeed, the best kind of correct. Of course, it doesn't help that everyone calls the damn thing the Blackbird.

Rykon Zero · Nov 10, 2011

I don't know. It's what they said. They said it was... Hell, I'll copy the email.

======

I read this and while I like the story, I just can't pass it.

The flow is totally awkward in places. There appears to be a mix of tenses, and there's far too much 'tell' and not nearly enough 'show'. Most of the information is presented to us by internal thought process, or minor-level info-dumps.

I think this is improved over the last version, but it MUST go to Ponychan. There is so much potential, but a good editing would do wonders.

======

And thus. I really really like the characters now, so I'd like to see this come to fruition, but luckily it seems that it's problems with grammar and set up rather than base-line story issues. I don't really think I can get a good idea of what the story is supposed to look like unless someone shows me first. It's been years since I last took an English class, and I've never learned how to properly write.

CoffeeGrunt · Nov 10, 2011

Hmmm. I have an idea Rykon, if you're willing to take it.

I don't have the time to read your fic myself, (sorry,) but I could post a link to it in my Journal. I'm not sure how many readers you'd get, how many would comment, etc. But at least you'd get a bit of exposure. My fans are pretty good with pointing out my flaws. xD

If you have it on DA, just post the link and I could sort that out for you.

Rykon Zero · Nov 10, 2011

Erm, no, I don't have it on DA. That idea is slightly scary, but I'll see what I can do.

Then again, they'll tear it to- Ah, who cares. I'll get it up in a moment.

EDIT: Erm, kind of unsure how to put something on DA.

Sniffs · Nov 10, 2011

ah, well, there's part of the reason there in the mail they posted back. "tenses" is the biggest barrier to learning English...'cause, apparently, we don't use any that speakers of other languages "get" (as in understand)

the guys at ED are coming off more and More like "Art School Snobs" that some of us had to put up with a decade ago (i have pieces from BEFORE September 11th online, even now)

besides, some of us don't like using any of the built in grammar and spellcheck programs. it tends to tag all the personal names and modern words. I think they use a grammar definition set from 50 or more years ago

Sniffs · Nov 10, 2011

Rykon Zero
Erm, no, I don't have it on DA. That idea is slightly scary, but I'll see what I can do.

Then again, they'll tear it to- Ah, who cares. I'll get it up in a moment.

EDIT: Erm, kind of unsure how to put something on DA.

you have to be a member, first off. second, I have MY starter story on there, and i've got NO comments, good OR bad. DA is kinda huge, so there's a big chance you'll get buried.

Rykon Zero · Nov 10, 2011

I sincerely hope you realize I'm only living in Germany, and that I come from America.

But yeah, I seem to have trouble because I write in past tense, but I insert thoughts in present tense. It's irksome to some readers, but I believe it's correct. It's the thoughts of the character at the time, but I can always fiddle with tenses and such.

unit-one · Nov 10, 2011

Toronado
BRB. Got to go suicide.

Looks legit.

CoffeeGrunt
IT IS NOW CANON!

Aww yeah!

Sniffs · Nov 10, 2011

Rykon Zero
I sincerely hope you realize I'm only living in Germany, and that I come from America.

But yeah, I seem to have trouble because I write in past tense, but I insert thoughts in present tense. It's irksome to some readers, but I believe it's correct. It's the thoughts of the character at the time, but I can always fiddle with tenses and such.

OOps. well, I never know, anymore (besides, you hang around someplace for a while, you tend to think in that direction)

i did a bit of that for Shock and Aww 4, the next part of the story, for a spirit/mental scene. I hope it doesn't confuse people.

btw, I'm thinking of drawing Luna in a Bikini for you guys!

Wiegert · Nov 10, 2011

Toronado
Skintight white shirts are best shirts.

Yes they are, but what Grave suggested is better still.

Toronado
*Starting to believe it is all in good fun rather than outright insane.*

Well it looks that way, plus it doesn't look like that tumblr will update as regularly as many of the others, at least that what I assumed after reading what the artist said about it a few days ago.

race'emhard
The SR-71 is actually a very, very dark blue that looks like black.

No idea why the person who made that OC gave it a grey coat...

unit-one · Nov 10, 2011

Wiegert
No idea why the person who made that OC gave it a grey coat...

No idea why I named my pony "Star Fighter". "Night Fire" would have been so much better. Black coat with red streaks on his mane. A fire in the night. Like a camp fire.

Well, I must go to work. Last night. Then I'll have time to actually draw something serious.

CoffeeGrunt · Nov 10, 2011

Rykon, just make an account, go to Submit > Submit Art.

Then just put it under Literature, use Add Text to paste in the story, and post it away. Link me when you're done, and I'll post it onto my DA.

@Sniffs

Whore yourself out to groups. You need to grab a small starter bunch of fans, then use their word of mouth to build up from there. This is a whole lot easier if your stuff's on EDaily as well, you can link it as a mirror and use fic releases on EDaily to boost DA traffic..

I don't think the pre-readers have gotten any different lately, to be honest. I got the same reaction to The Clinic as I did to Gods and Demons and all the rest...

Wiegert · Nov 10, 2011

unit-one
No idea why I named my pony "Star Fighter". "Night Fire" would have been so much better. Black coat with red streaks on his mane. A fire in the night. Like a camp fire.

Night Fire? I can't help but be reminded of 007: Nightfire, which I still think is a decent game (messing around with an AT-420 Sentinel is always a joy). I also feel old now after realising that said game is 9 years old. Anyway, Night Fire is arguably the better name, but there isn't anything wrong with the current name for your pony.

And I like where your avatar is going

Also, I would happily pay a considerable amount of money for this:

83103%20-%20applejack%20artist%3Aaufurfoxache%20clay%20sculpture.jpg

Looking at the profile shot, I can't help but think that the flank is a little large.

Rykon Zero · Nov 10, 2011

I keep resorting to Latin to come up with names for me. I'm not very good at pony-class name generation. What do you even name a pony who's special skill is firing a nuclear death beam?

Azure Flare · Nov 10, 2011

unit-one
No idea why I named my pony "Star Fighter". "Night Fire" would have been so much better. Black coat with red streaks on his mane. A fire in the night. Like a camp fire.

Didn't you say the inspiration for the name came from the F-104? I have 2 ways to describe why mine is named Crescent.

CoffeeGrunt · Nov 10, 2011

I don't know why I name my OCs stuff. I can't actually think of a recent OC I've named off the top of my head, other than Lucent, Borealis, and Ebony Ivoire.

Oh and Hook Up and Hard Beat. All my OC names are relatively self-explanatory.

/Edit/

Where is Unit getting his constantly changing supply of VinylTavia art from? I neeed moar!

Azure Flare · Nov 10, 2011

CoffeeGrunt
I don't know why I name my OCs stuff. I can't actually think of a recent OC I've named off the top of my head, other than Lucent, Borealis, and Ebony Ivoire.

Only 3 of mine are actually named.

Speaking of OCs heres my latest:

CoffeeGrunt · Nov 10, 2011

Is her name Scoota Octavia?

Sniffs · Nov 10, 2011

coffee: cheers. I've never been invited into other than one group, Gryph lovers. actually, I was hoping someone would notice
Weigert: Dat PLOT
Rykon:
lessie... Peenemunde, Oak Ridge, Hiroshima, Enola Gay, Bikini Atoll, Trinity (trine?), SDI (80's joke), K19, Chernobyl, Goji

CoffeeGrunt · Nov 10, 2011

You can't sit back and wait for someone to stumble across it with fiction. An art piece can be perused and weighed in five seconds, a fic needs alot more time, and can't be judged as passively.

Therefore, most groups simply overlook them. You gotta get your works out there yourself.

Wiegert · Nov 10, 2011

A name for a pony whose special ability is "firing a nuclear death beam". What about Fallout? :sly:

Seriously, I've been trying to think of a proper name for such a pony, but right now I've got nothing that would work. Blast Radius isn't exactly a great name for a pony, or is it?

CoffeeGrunt
Where is Unit getting his constantly changing supply of VinylTavia art from? I neeed moar!

I bet unit's been hoarding the stuff for weeks. Where he's been getting it from I have no idea, and I'd like to find out as well.

race'emhard

It seems the Mercedes/BMW rivalry continues in pony form. We must settle this rivalry on the Autobahn!

Sniffs · Nov 10, 2011

uh, that means someone has to make a Ford/Chevy/Dodge one, too

every one else throw em in, too

hmm...

Azure Flare · Nov 10, 2011

Wiegert
It seems the Mercedes/BMW rivalry continues in pony form. We must settle this rivalry on the Autobahn!

Quickly! We need an Audi pony!

Minty · Nov 10, 2011

Sniffs
uh, that means someone has to make a Ford/Chevy/Dodge one, too
every one else throw em in, too

hmm...

unit drew this:

Corvette Pony requested by me, Ferrarity requested by MercilessOne.

Gravekeeper · Nov 10, 2011

CoffeeGrunt
You can't sit back and wait for someone to stumble across it with fiction. An art piece can be perused and weighed in five seconds, a fic needs alot more time, and can't be judged as passively.

CoffeeGrunt
An art piece can be perused and weighed in five seconds

CoffeeGrunt
can be perused... in five seconds

Minty · Nov 10, 2011

It's funny because it's the exact opposite of what he meant.

Rykon Zero · Nov 10, 2011

Sniffs
Rykon:
lessie... Peenemunde, Oak Ridge, Hiroshima, Enola Gay, Bikini Atoll, Trinity (trine?), SDI (80's joke), K19, Chernobyl, Goji

Wiegert
A name for a pony whose special ability is "firing a nuclear death beam". What about Fallout?

Seriously, I've been trying to think of a proper name for such a pony, but right now I've got nothing that would work. Blast Radius isn't exactly a great name for a pony, or is it?

Trinity would be nearly perfect (Nuclear, the whole "actually a girl's name" thing) but I can't help but think something else will also pop up.

And yes, it will be a nuclear death beam. As literal as I can get it, it's going to focus on the sheer energy provided by magical radiation, and it will kill, so it is in fact a Nuclear Death Beam. Blast Radius isn't much of a name, and considering the ponies are all going to eventually wear some form of power armor, I'd like to stray far from Fallout as possible.

On an unrelated note, I'm currently drawing the awesome ride they'll get later on. I'm calling it the Sky Catamaran for now, and it's shaping up pretty awesome.