Series 11. Who'd have thought eh?
We were talking about this very thing in the office the other day, about how we used to try and predict how long the show would run for when we brought it back in 2002.
I remember declaring with massive authority that we'd peak around Series 3, and then slide gracefully into oblivion.
Brian, our studio director, told me I was talking arse and said we'd keep climbing up to Series 5, and only then would the Job Centre beckon. Everyone has chipped in with different punts along the way, but thankfully we're all quite thick and our Mystic Meggery has been way off.
Then - it was a busy day - we started talking about how we'd eventually bring Top Gear to a close. We all agreed quite quickly that the cool thing to do would be to kill the show whilst it was on top - take a leaf out of Wham's book or copy Fawlty Towers and just walk out the door before it all gets stale and sad.
That way we could hold our heads up and say we left behind a body of work that was quality all the way, instead of grimly clinging on as the viewing figures and our dignity tumbled.
Quitting whilst you're ahead is a hard path to take - one that requires courage, integrity and moral backbone - which is why in the end we decided to abandon that idea and just keep churning it out until we've outstayed our welcome.
However, although we're spineless we do try our best. But since it is getting harder and harder to come up with new stuff, a few months ago, as the new series loomed, we did something we've never done before - we decided to have a brainstorm.
I'm talking about a proper one like businessmen do. You know, book a hotel with conference facilities, everyone out of the office, mobiles off, agenda for the day, tea, biscuits, whiteboards, the lot.
Looking back, I can't say it went brilliantly. We'd picked a hotel just off the M1, and I mean just off: exit at the junction, right at the roundabout, straight down a road for 2 miles and the hotel is on the right. You'd have to be a muppet to get lost.
At 10.30, half an hour after the appointed start time, James rang and said he was lost, going round in circles in Watford. Jeremy meanwhile, in honour of the brainstorm, had brought along a laser pointer for the power point presentation, with which he managed to blind the waitress bringing in the tea and coffee facilities.
Eventually we got going and item one on the agenda was me kicking off with a little speech. I thought it would be a good managerial thing to do - a few words about how far we'd come, what we'd achieved, and then when everyone felt praised and motivated, smoothly changing gear and outlining the tough tasks that lay ahead - continuing our guardianship of a great TV brand, eyes of the nation upon us, that sort of thing.
I finished and looked round the room. Silence, as the significance of my words sank in. Finally, Jeremy was the first to speak: "Who fancies coming for a tab?"
Eventually we really got going, and item two on the agenda was the news section of the programme. "Be ruthless," I ordered. "Don't be frightened to kill your babies, blue sky the moment, no idea is a bad idea," etc.
So we all thought about it and after a while decided we quite liked it as it was.
And then Richard suggested that during the news, the presenters themselves - instead of the trained technicians in the broadcast trucks - should have control over pulling up the pictures and cueing all the stuff on the screens. Now plainly this is a terrible idea, but since it was already midday and the first idea we'd had, we all voted in favour.
And so the day went on. We looked at every aspect of the show, decided we quite liked those bits as they were as well, and then went to the pub.
Think of the forthcoming series then as a familiar friend, your favourite old jumper that brings comfort, warmth, and things you've seen before. The day wasn't a write-off by any means though, because we came up with a new character, a bit like the Stig, but not like the Stig, who hopefully does exciting stuff for everyone's amusement.
We worked out a plan for tweaking the guest spot, we decided we'd get some new chairs, and on top of that we dreamt up some good ideas for films. Most exciting for me is that we've finally come up with another big race - you know, car versus something or other.
The last time we did one was a couple of years ago, with the plane against the Veyron, and in hindsight we lost the plot in that one - too pompous, too overblown and preposterous, too much work on the scripting to make it funny. This one is back to basics, more hardcore, mega car, mega opponent, with a solid premise. And a clue for the geeks: we did it in Japan.
Elsewhere, we've tackled rural issues such as the fox hunting ban and fascist ramblers. With the ingenious use of cars, we go to war, literally, with a German version of Top Gear (which incidentally means Sabine is back) and there's a very exciting shootout with the RS6 against the most suicidal of skiers.
Jeremy also reckons he has an ingenious plan for improving British police cars, so we'll be testing that theory, and we've always said you can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa, so now it's time to put our money where our mouth is.
There's some good metal too - new Evo X against the Impreza, CLK Black and hopefully the Mazda Furai. Overall though, the other thing we're going to do is try and speed up a bit.
We've looked back over the last two or three runs and noticed that a whole programme can get swallowed up by one monster film - a bit like one of those Yes albums from the 70s where side one is just one track - so we're trying to calm down the prog rock side.
Actually a band analogy is a good one here. I was reading the other day how REM had spent ages recording previous albums and tied themselves in knots in the process, but that their latest one was knocked out fast, with short sharp songs that don't outstay their welcome.
We'll inevitably still have big films, cos it's the only way you can enjoy the three of them cocking about together, but they'll be shorter overall, and alongside them we'll be inserting some quick two or three minute punk songs.
Right, I'm going back to the edit.
Andy Wilman is the Executive Producer of Top Gear.
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