Confession Booth

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Gah, I just spent the better part of my day collecting resources and building a castle of stone in Minecraft. I think the worst part of it all was that I enjoyed it thoroughly.
 
I've been taking a step back lately and have been trying to see how other people view me in an effort to better myself. It's been quite emotional and eye-opening, I've never done it before. The general concensus from my friends is that I'm far too aggressive and 'completely fly off the handle about minor things'. Whoops. To be honest, I wouldn't want to spend much time with me if I were them, so I guess I've been quite lucky with the friends I have. Anyway, I'm now actively trying to take a calmer approach to life. I don't want people I meet to think I'm some human hurricane, whooshing through and destroying everything. Any tips or ideas, guys?

I don't want to take the morphine/prozac route, so I'm not going to follow a medical path with this.
 
Well, I was going to suggest doing herion, but if you don't want to do the medical path...;)

Danny, you're still growing up (most of us are), you'll come across experiences which will change you, once you go out in to the world with your Marketing degree, for example.

I'm very laid back, I forced myself to be as it makes like a hell of a lot easier. What in particular makes you aggressive? If it's a certain scenario, try and remove yourself from that situation.
 
I've been taking a step back lately and have been trying to see how other people view me in an effort to better myself. It's been quite emotional and eye-opening, I've never done it before. The general concensus from my friends is that I'm far too aggressive and 'completely fly off the handle about minor things'. Whoops. To be honest, I wouldn't want to spend much time with me if I were them, so I guess I've been quite lucky with the friends I have. Anyway, I'm now actively trying to take a calmer approach to life. I don't want people I meet to think I'm some human hurricane, whooshing through and destroying everything. Any tips or ideas, guys?

I don't want to take the morphine/prozac route, so I'm not going to follow a medical path with this.



Yeah.

After breaking up with the gf (you probably all think I'm constantly banging on about it - but I really am having trouble getting over it - (there's a confession for you...that I would actually like help with), I have adopted the train of thought:

I can't care, so I won't.

When I see her, having fun, looking like she doesn't give a toss - what can I do that won't make things worse? Nothing.

I can't care, so I won't.

I see her being chatted up by other guys. What on earth can I do other than the stuff that will make it worse? Nothing.

I can't care, so I won't.

I see her needing help with something - but where me helping her would cross the line of the friendship we both agreed to keep. What can I do to help her, when I really really really want to, that won't make it awkward and cross uncrossable boundaries? Nothing.

I can't care, so I won't.

You can apply it to the same stuff as you. If something happens that pisses you off - what can you do to show you're annoyed while still keeping dignity and not call overt amounts of attention to yourself? Nothing (No offence Dan Jon).

You can't care, so you won't.

Of course it'll affect you because you care inside and be painful - but hey - if I acted the way I wanted to the past month, I wouldn't have any friends at uni anymore. And I'd look like a tool. And I probably would have been arrested...
 
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What in particular makes you aggressive? If it's a certain scenario, try and remove yourself from that situation.

That's the thing, it's not one particular thing. I think maybe I'm just generally quite highly strung.

I can't care, so I won't.

Easier said than done though...


Hey, at least I've found a problem tea cannot solve.
 
That's the thing, it's not one particular thing. I think maybe I'm just generally quite highly strung.

I think that can be quite an easy personality trait to get in to, you've never had a break from full-time education, have you? I think that can take a huge toll on your personality and psyche.
 
That's the thing, it's not one particular thing. I think maybe I'm just generally quite highly strung.

Easier said than done though...

Hey, at least I've found a problem tea cannot solve.

You're not alone. I'm feeling the same way lately. (see the Freshman thread, you'll understand most of my latest insanity.)

But of course, I have a new problem. One that's all mine, I can't say it, I won't say it, but I need to say it. My family think I'm 🤬-crazy.

I need that person.
 
I just bought this cup



If you stop there nothing seems worth confessing....until I tell you this cup was $220...yes a $220 cup.....heres a picture:
37982_149253941752758_100000044585858_458034_8349779_n.jpg
 
Fml...

Parents split up today after 15 years and right when I probably need them most. Crying just typing this...

Why damn it why!
 
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Fml...

Parents split up today after 10 years and right when I probably need them most. Crying just typing this...

Why damn it why!

Don't worry. My parents split up for 7 years...it's a rough thing to deal with. I mean, mine eventually got together (until my dad passed), but don't worry. There are plenty of people on GTP, or anyone that you just know, talk to them. It'll make you feel better.
 
Anyway, I'm now actively trying to take a calmer approach to life. I don't want people I meet to think I'm some human hurricane, whooshing through and destroying everything. Any tips or ideas, guys?

I don't know if there is something stressful going on with you buddy, but I would suggest you to take some days off your job, college, family and the said friends. You must firstly discover what's pissing you ( if you don't know already ),and that's something you must do alone, if that's a natural trace of your personality as it seems, stop caring a little bit about things, be less adult and less responsible, it will do wonders in your life.

Or go through the blurry but rather funny, heroin way, as Sureboss suggested.
 
Fml...

Parents split up today after 15 years and right when I probably need them most. Crying just typing this...

Why damn it why!

My parents have been way too close to a divorce twice already. Trust me, I felt like crap. I bawled just thinking about it; my house was a very stressful and sad place to be. But then I came to understand that it's the different the way you view your parent's relationship to another, younger couple's. But in reality, it's love that brings them together, and when there is no love there is, well, no point in being together. Just like any other relationship. I got to understand this and sometimes I actually wish they would divorce just to see them happy. But everything is getting well now.

I really wish you strength and understanding while you're going through this. If it makes your parent's happy, what's better than that? :) Think of it that way.
 
My parents have been way too close to a divorce twice already. Trust me, I felt like crap. I bawled just thinking about it; my house was a very stressful and sad place to be. But then I came to understand that it's the different the way you view your parent's relationship to another, younger couple's. But in reality, it's love that brings them together, and when there is no love there is, well, no point in being together. Just like any other relationship. I got to understand this and sometimes I actually wish they would divorce just to see them happy. But everything is getting well now.

I really wish you strength and understanding while you're going through this. If it makes your parent's happy, what's better than that? :) Think of it that way.

Thanks for the kind words 👍.

It just sucks more so because I need dad close by for my next two years of school to help me out. Also to help me out with working on a car and all that stuff mum doesnt do...
 
Thanks for the kind words 👍.

It just sucks more so because I need dad close by for my next two years of school to help me out. Also to help me out with working on a car and all that stuff mum doesnt do...

Well while they are split, you also need to look out for them. My dad became an alcoholic away from my mother, which eventually led to his death.
Just be strong, man. I was so young when they split (7), and it was a rough 5-so years.

I wish you luck, and continue doing the things you enjoy.
 
Eh, my father just died a horrible and painful death that I was there to witness the rougher bits of. Not like I had to deal them splitting up. That said, I was too young to fully feel what happened, and even after I was capable of feeling it, I didn't feel that bad. I wonder if I'm just apathetic like that.
 
Eh, my father just died a horrible and painful death that I was there to witness the rougher bits of. Not like I had to deal them splitting up. That said, I was too young to fully feel what happened, and even after I was capable of feeling it, I didn't feel that bad. I wonder if I'm just apathetic like that.

How strange- I saw my father die in front of me also. How young were you?
 
I was seven, I think. I was in first grade, and he passed October 21st, so I'm thinking it was when I was seven. And I didn't actually see him die, just the whole death's door thing.
 
Fml...

Parents split up today after 15 years and right when I probably need them most. Crying just typing this...

Why damn it why!

Hey dude, unfortunate that your parents split up bro, your a good friend of mine and you didn't deserve this.

All the best.
 
Thanks for all the support. I don't want to seem like I'm pleading for your attention if I'm coming across like that. I just have quite a lot to vent sometimes and no where else to do it.

Sorry it's taken me a little bit, but with my current lifestyle I'm usually too dead to get on and post when I'm home. Since I last posted I've gone through a bit of a rough patch. My friend ended up breaking her side of the promise and I just lost it, my legs are still sore. For my birthday a friend of mine offered to buy me a bottle of something so we ended up having a party. I purposely don't drink anymore because with my current situation I always break down, but I figured I hadn't in a while so why not. Horrible idea, we all ended up freaking out, then I went on a walk and tried to hang myself. There is a small playground at their apartment with a rope going up the side of it. It had just enough slack to get it around my neck, then I put all my weight down. I backed out after struggling for a bit, but I almost wasn't able to. On the way back to the apartments I ended up punching myself in the face a few times, so I came back to the apartment sporting a red band around my neck, a slightly black eye, and a screwed up voicebox. A few days after that I went for a walk to my storage unit and started having a panic attack on the way. When I got there I found a rope, made it into a noose, then started walking back. I wasn't going to but I forced myself to text my friend about it. I had just lost any interest and all attachment to reality and my phone was dying. My friend gave me 20 minutes to walk back home before she drove there and made me. My phone died right at the storage unit, so I had the whole walk back. I started panicking, put the noose around my neck, wrote goodbye on the pavement with a piece of bark, then pulled it as tight as I could. I was waiting to pass out but I took it off just as everything began to get a bit blurry.

I can be rational about how I'm feeling, it's just the irrationalities that take over. I know I need to take my pills and I know I need to eat but you couldn't force me to do either. I just end up talking to myself and cutting myself down until I have no shred of will to live left. I force myself not to eat or take them because it would make me feel better. It feels like there's someone else there sometimes, the arguments I've had, the things I've done not under my control. I just don't know what to do about it, I know I need to get some kind of help, but I won't let myself get any better.
 
Dude, you seriously need to see someone. It doesn't matter if you dont think it will help or you wont let it help you. You are getting worse mate, I have followed your story for quite a while now, years even and you are just deteriorating. Please see someone, you nearly killed yourself...

Think about what your family or friends would have to go through, it sucks! It sucks so much to lose someone close to you, don't let anyone go through that if you can prevent it :).
 
Easier said than done though...

I would have thought if the problem is big enough to post in here, an easy fix wouldn't actually be available...

And no, you are right - it isn't easy. I am in my room when I really should be over in her block socialising with all my other friends over there that I havn't seen in two weeks (everyone came back to uni today) but .....gahh it won't happen without tearing me apart.

I can't care so I won't...I can't care so........

Fml...

Parents split up today after 15 years and right when I probably need them most. Crying just typing this...

Why damn it why!

This....now this here is harsh. Like really harsh. I can't sympathise, but damn, man, I really, really feel for you. If you want to chat, and a sympathic e-shoulder, feel free to come chat to me. I don't think I can use MSN while I'm at uni here, but PM me and become an fb friend and we can do it through there. I'm up at weird times of the night if you feel like talking to someone about it. :)

Man that sounds stalkerish...
 
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Please, please, please go and get some help Barracuda.
I don't want to hear that a fellow GTP'er has died.
Think about everyone else in your life and how much they would miss you.
:)
 
Ditto to what Allyn said - you've got family, friends. And even if you think you don't, you do. And you've got us on GTP as well. Hell - this is probably my first internet family. A good metaphor would be a school. Jordan's the Principal, the Admins are the deputies, the Super-Mods the deans, Mods are the teachers. All the premos are the kiss-ups who buy apples for the teachers. And there's usually some dumb asses around who seek attention by spamming and getting banned.
There's people who are going through a hard time now, and people who aren't. You have friends at school, and some people who.. aren't friends. How would you like it if you found out someone at your school died? It happened at my school last year. There was something hanging in the air for a few weeks or so. Everyone was just quiet...

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go place a thumb tack on a supermod's chair :p
 
Oh, here's a confession.

Up until 5 minutes ago, I thought JJ Lehto and Jared Leto were one and the same.
 
This thread should be split in two. A bit odd seeing deep personal issues alongside random confessions about playing WoW and buying something expensive.
 
Ditto to what Allyn said - you've got family, friends. And even if you think you don't, you do. And you've got us on GTP as well. Hell - this is probably my first internet family. A good metaphor would be a school. Jordan's the Principal, the Admins are the deputies, the Super-Mods the deans, Mods are the teachers. All the premos are the kiss-ups who buy apples for the teachers. And there's usually some dumb asses around who seek attention by spamming and getting banned.
There's people who are going through a hard time now, and people who aren't. You have friends at school, and some people who.. aren't friends. How would you like it if you found out someone at your school died? It happened at my school last year. There was something hanging in the air for a few weeks or so. Everyone was just quiet...

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go place a thumb tack on a supermod's chair :p

*goes to get Famine's stapler*
 
Some of the heavy posts here (suicide contemplation, etc.) reminds me of a quote, which reads:

"The waking state is a practical joke of the general, at the expense of the particular."

Example/confession from my own personal life: I'll watch a porn video of a woman and think, 'gosh, if I met her on the street and didnt know better, I'd treat her with my usual catholic schoolboy sincerity and caring in trying to get more intimate with her'.
But what a foolish foolish world apart from reality my romantic sincerity would mean to someone who in her spare time, gets gang banged by 3 black men!

That would be a case of my 'personality particulars' causing the practical joke to be at my expense. These lessons can be very very painful and emotional (!!)
Be careful you dont invite your ass to be handed to you by the opposite sex! ..is my humble advice to someone *before* they get to the point of considering suicide.
 
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