I think I reached a point where I can enter this thread myself. Maybe the overthinker in me is making this more complicated than it ought to be, but I'm hoping someone here who can relate can speak up on it. Big dump ahead, but I would honestly feel better if I can splurge it all.
TL;DR I think an overthinker/worrier having physical health issues resulting from anxiety is a brutal combo to deal with at the moment, and after going over multiple things, I think I'm ruling out what I may be experiencing.
Early March. Had a runny nose. Recovered from that in a few days, but had ongoing nasal discharge ever since last June from home renovations that included rebuilding drywall, plaster, paint and all that jazz.
Mid-march. Had a night where nasal congestion limited nose breathing quite a bit; that began to concern me whether I'm getting enough air into the lungs per breath. Tried to switch to mouth-breathing. Could get more air in, but mouth was getting dry and a film of saliva would hinder air passage ever so slightly that even that got me in a panic thinking I can't breathe properly. At this point, I think I began conscious breathing which didn't help me relax at all. I'm getting chills and my legs are shaking, heart beats harder and faster than it probably should (I'm no doctor). Applied nasal spray for relief, blew my nose, no mucus was coming out, yet I can feel the partial obstruction when I'm inhaling. I can't tell if this was an anxiety or panic attack at this point, but I was definitely in a state of mind I was terrified of. Contemplating whether to get dressed and go to the hospital on the account of having a shortness of breath or wake my parents up, I decided to stay in bed and try my best to relax (go me; too scared to take action). It's just a shame I can't relax while sleeping on my side anymore.
I make it to the next day. I honestly cannot recall how I ended up falling asleep by 3am but I managed to log about 3 hours of sleep that night. That was not fun.
I experience another night like this a few days later. Though it wasn't as frightening as I knew I made it past a night like this already, but now I'm scared of "falling asleep". That moment your entire body and mind relaxes, my thoughts drift off to some imagined scene where an alerting/startling event occurs, and then bam, you're awake again!
Took about 5 of these occurrences for me to finally fall asleep.
Had enough of this. It doesn't feel like I have a cold, and I don't feel like I have COVID-19 (knock on wood)... so why am I still having nasal discharge and congestion at the back of the nasal cavity? Is it an allergen I'm inhaling in my room and bedroom? Nothing has changed drastically ever since last June... maybe it's because I'm exposed to it more now that I'm working from home? Is it residual drywall dust, the mold I infrequently smell from the kitchen, or just breathing in too much dust unknowingly all these years? Or is the air just really dry in the house now that the heater is running more often? Something doesn't line up.
Resolved to vacuuming my rooms more thoroughly, changing out bed sheets, washing the blanket (admittedly haven't done that in a long time), pulled out dad's ultrasonic humidifier. Noticing minimal difference, but let's keep it up for a while to see if it changes anything. It's just odd how dry air would begin to impact my nose now when we haven't changed the way we lived through the winter seasons in this household for over a decade.
Went ahead and ordered a HEPA air purifier (actually meant to order a humidifier for myself instead of taking Dad's all the time, but this actually worked out better in the end). Now I have one of these low-key noisy things running in my room or bedroom, wherever I feel its needed, because now I'm thinking it wasn't actually a cold causing the congestion, and it really might just be an allergen at this point. It does produce a slightly strange smell, but hey, it pushes air around so it can create some air movement at least. My office has some terrible air circulation, and the PC produces all the stuffy warm heat this room experiences. If I ran a tower fan in here to get some kind of circulation with the other rooms in the household that are noticeably easier to breathe in, I can see there's dust entering my line of sight as I'm on the computer. Fantastic; just need to vacuum more.
I do that. Vacuuming, something I've skipped out on a lot, even more in the recent months, has provided some relief as I don't feel as much congestion as before. This is good. Little steps towards figuring out what's wrong with me. However, I still feel that slightly obstruction in my left nostril as I brush my teeth and get ready to call it a day. At this point I noticed my nasal sprays (both saline and steroid) read "don't user after about 4 months after opening", and "if issues don't clear up after 5 days, stop and see your doctor". Shoot. I've been using this for the past several days. I'm worrying again. I grab myself medium stream nasal spray. Gave her a try. It was not the misting I was expecting! Kind of helped, kind of didn't, but maybe I was using it wrong the entire time. Videos I see online say to angle your sprays, some say not to spray to the back as you won't get the medicine where you need it to. Who's right and who's wrong!?
Come late March, I feel like my breathing capacity has shrunk.
Feel. I don't know if it actually has. Talking appears to take extra effort and I have to pause earlier to catch my breath. There's a chilly feeling in my chest whenever I take deeper breaths; never felt this way before. Is this a side effect from not being able to sleep?
I was lucky to have been able to speak with my doctor over the phone, and told her the entire story you've heard so far. Doctor thinks it is possibly still the cold from early March. Prescribes the same steroid nasal spray as that should allow the nasal passage to open up (if it was swelling), enabling easier breathing... which it does.
But even with that, I'm still getting a chilly feeling when I breathe a bit deeper than my usual short breaths. I can't laugh for a long time. If I'm conscious about my breathing (which I have been more than ever), sometimes I'm not using my diaphragm to breathe, or if it's a quick inhale, my diaphragm goes the opposite direction (might've been wrong muscle memory I developed when I was younger). I still have a slouched posture with rolled shoulders after many years, so maybe that has aided in a tight chest and made diaphragm breathing slightly more difficult. The good news to this is that I grabbed myself one of those posture correcting straps from Amazon which does help remind me to sit up straight, as I slouch hard when I'm focused on gaming. (The one I grabbed gives you a $10 rebate after purchasing, hit me up if you want to learn more).
So as of right now, I've learned my blood pressure level is at 137/75 recently (I'm 28). To be fair I haven't checked this reading in years, but that doesn't change that I'm in this state. Whenever I eat or drink, I feel a pressure in the solar plexus area, like I can't belch when I need to. And I still have nights where it takes me a bit of time to fully relax enough to fall asleep (was considering I was experiencing insomnia that one night I maybe slept for about an accumulated 20 minutes). Based on what I'm reading, all these new things I'm going through right now could very much be a result of stress stemming from anxiety.... or malnutrition.
I've always lived my life filled with distractions, but even that isn't combating what I'm feeling now. So nowadays I've been reflecting on pastimes that genuinely take my mind off things and have brought me joy, and have been trying to get back into drawing, biking (though the shortness of breath still has me uneasy if it's a respiratory infection, a development of pneumonia (think this is what's scaring me the most actually) or just me being really out of shape), exercising more, and catching up on TV series. I'm also taking steps towards keeping an eye on my diet to bring down that blood pressure, whatever nutrients I may be deficient in to combat this. I like to think that taking steps to figuring this out will help with the anxiety as I know I'm the kind of person who worries when he's not knowledgeable. I will also be reaching out to the doctor to report my new findings this week, as I feel GPs don't seem to go as all-in on fixing you up like before.
If you did choose to read this all, thank you for taking the time to do so. Let me know what your thoughts are.
