The General Relationship Thread

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She did say we should go to (this place) I hope its just us. I am planing to take her there. Update she hasn't talked about it today she did say she gets paid on Friday .
 
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I moved from Ann Arbor to San Francisco in September. The lady stayed behind to finish her degree. I've seen her once since then. Next weekend I'm flying to Ann Arbor to visit. Long distance suckkkkks.

Also, annoyingly, she is not a US citizen so she has only 3 months after grad school to find a job (H1B visa) before she will have to leave the country.

The big decision is do we move in together provided she finds a job here? Rent is insanely high in this city ($3600/mo for a 1 bedroom apartment) so it is not economically advisable to live apart. However I think we both enjoy a bit of space, and a studio is going to be very small. Decisions decisions....
 
I don't suggest moving her out to San Francisco. What type of degree is she going for? The type of degree you have will determine what type of job you will get, especially in a place as competitive as San Francisco.

If you could, I would try to relocate to San Mateo where the rent can be significantly cheaper.
 
I don't suggest moving her out to San Francisco. What type of degree is she going for? The type of degree you have will determine what type of job you will get, especially in a place as competitive as San Francisco.

If you could, I would try to relocate to San Mateo where the rent can be significantly cheaper.

We are both Architects. SF is the place to be right now. I might look into San Mateo, but a colleague of mine lives there and the commute is awful. I would rather pay $300 extra a month and live in Oakland (where I do now) just to not have to drive.
 
We are both Architects. SF is the place to be right now. I might look into San Mateo, but a colleague of mine lives there and the commute is awful. I would rather pay $300 extra a month and live in Oakland (where I do now) just to not have to drive.
Yeah, the commute into San Francisco from San Mateo is so annoying to do. That's the main thing my brother complains about. Oakland is more tolerable, most likely. The BART is more accessible, and depending on where you live, there can be less distance traveled.

If you're an architect, you're in the right place. In fact, anything that deals with design, you're in the right place in San Francisco. I plan on moving away from the general area of the Bay after college.

That said, I think it wouldn't be too bad for a move. San Francisco has a great job market, and if you get in the right door, you can get a pretty hefty paycheck, especially with interest of architecture.
 
Yeah, the commute into San Francisco from San Mateo is so annoying to do. That's the main thing my brother complains about. Oakland is more tolerable, most likely. The BART is more accessible, and depending on where you live, there can be less distance traveled.

If you're an architect, you're in the right place. In fact, anything that deals with design, you're in the right place in San Francisco. I plan on moving away from the general area of the Bay after college.

That said, I think it wouldn't be too bad for a move. San Francisco has a great job market, and if you get in the right door, you can get a pretty hefty paycheck, especially with interest of architecture.

Yes, I'm making about 20% more than friends of mine with the same experience/education in Chicago and Dallas. Unfortunately, I'm also paying 200% more for rent....
 
Yes, I'm making about 20% more than friends of mine with the same experience/education in Chicago and Dallas. Unfortunately, I'm also paying 200% more for rent....
It's interesting how my buddies go insane about how much I was getting payed at my former job, but they don't realize how much that is adjusted. The minimum wage in San Francisco is, what, $13.50 as of 2016? They just don't understand how little that is in the Bay Area.
 
Yesterday she asked for my opinion on The TV show Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (She asked would you like to live with a women like that ? I said "No!." (it just happened to be on TV :yuck:) I said "the women on this show are terrible and rude." She said "If I had to live with women like that I would 🤬 kill them (:)) ." Then she said we should watch this other show and see how 🤬 stupid they are. I'm really happy she doesn't like this show because it makes her a real good women :). Then she asked for my opinion on theses drink bottles she bought I said "They are good and the colour suits you." So she must be slowly asking for my opinions on things. She always wants to know what I am planing for the day (I normally don't plan anything).
 
Yesterday she asked for my opinion on The TV show Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (She asked would you like to live with a women like that ? I said "No!." (it just happened to be on TV :yuck:) I said "the women on this show are terrible and rude." She said "If I had to live with women like that I would 🤬 kill them (:)) ." Then she said we should watch this other show and see how 🤬 stupid they are. I'm really happy she doesn't like this show because it makes her a real good women :). Then she asked for my opinion on theses drink bottles she bought I said "They are good and the colour suits you." So she must be slowly asking for my opinions on things. She always wants to know what I am planing for the day (I normally don't plan anything).

It's screaming in your face by now... the door is WIDE open and you still haven't walked through it. Ask her out already...
 
Some things had happened since my last update here .

Since that post to last week, we've been texting every couple days. But a few notable things did happen in that time period.

The day after Christmas, she called me. This was the first time she's ever called me. She asked me if she wanted to hear her play a song on her new trumpet that she got for Christmas (she's a really good musician and an excellent singer). I obviously said yes. After that we talked a bit and then she had to go.

On New Years, I texted her and we talked about our old New Year Resolutions and this year's, exactly like last year. We watched the Sherlock Christmas special together that night (not physically together. We would watch it at the same time and text each other our reactions. We did this before for the Walking Dead.). We continued to text every once in a while until last week.

One day, she Snapchatted me, which was unusual, because we usually only text. That night she texted me and we did some small talk until she asked about my religious beliefs. I told her and she told me that her boyfriend is really religious, which surprised me because he's one of the smartest guys in the school. She says that he tried to explain why his religion was correct. She told him her opinions on it and he said that it's a alright that she doesn't agree with him. So I assumed that settled their argument but she told me that she's frustrated about it. About her own religious beliefs and basically religion in general. We talked all night about our beliefs and the point of life. I found out we sort of have similar views on things.

Since that day we've been Snapchating everyday. Although one day when she was on a school bus to a math team competition, she snapped a video of our friends talking amongst themselves with her boyfriend sitting next to her (next to the isle, she's in the window seat) talking to someone else. It had the caption no one is talking to me.

My friend who knows that I like her told me that since the start of school this year (last September), she's been acting differently. She wasn't acting like how she's known. She has been more insulting and saying more sarcastic remarks. This really surprised me because she never acted like that when she's texting to me.

So now in present, I'm not really sure what kind of position I'm in. I feel like she's not that happy being with her boyfriend, but I'm not completely sure. We're definitely becoming better friend despite being so far away. I'm just happy that I still matter to her.
 
The 17th of January marks 2 months with my girlfriend. A lot has happened in those two months. A week after we started dating she got her gall-bladder removed, and i was by her side, for a bit at the hospital then went to class, and i stayed over the night to watch her.

What I've learned over this relationship. She is very fragile, and sensitive like me. She is quite clingy, which is understandable, but it doesn't really bother me, since we live next to each other basically. She also reassures herself, asking me "Do you really love me?" "Am i really pretty, beautiful". I always make her blush :). I love her so much. same goes for her toward me. Our relationship grows each day. She loves stealing my Boxer Briefs, and my hoodies, and pajamas. Which im completely okay with since its super adorable. We wrestle around a lot and end up hurting each other. Dysfunctional Much. Her parents really like me, and treat me like family.

Its cute though, when i ready to walk her home, soon as i open the door, she runs back inside and jumps in my bed, because its like 0*F outside, with a windchill. She replies: "No, no no no. Its to cold for me" :lol: So i have to drag her out to get her home on time.

She's been napping at my house a lot lately because, she hasn't been sleeping wheel lately, because she has been having horrible dreams, giving her horrible panic attacks. Poor her :(.

Bit of a nutshell.
 
She said "I will blame you for two weeks if this doesn't work" (She normally says this in a joking kind of way) I said "What if it works ?) She said "Nothing". She often says she will blame me for two weeks but she has never done it yet.

A few months ago I was reading a text message and saying it had bad spelling and grammer and she said "I'm never going to write you anything. "I said why would you write me anything ?" She said nothing.
 
her boyfriend is really religious, which surprised me because he's one of the smartest guys in the school.

Intelligence has nothing to do with religion. The man that coined the Big Bang Theory was a Catholic priest.

This really surprised me because she never acted like that when she's texting to me.

People change when their surroundings change. You, were part of her surroundings. You left, something's missing. It's natural.

I attended school's all over the world so making friends was easy but not really my main goal. Anyway, I had a really good friend in high school, even though we knew each other for two years, we were like brothers within two months. When I left the country, he dropped out of high school in two months. I was the main reason, but also our other friends left around the same time so he hated being there by himself.

Even though your friend has a bf, and most of her friends, you're not there.

I'm not really sure what kind of position I'm in.

You're there to comfort her. You're surely becoming her best friend.

"Do you really love me?" "Am i really pretty, beautiful"

This worries me...

Our relationship grows each day. She loves stealing my Boxer Briefs, and my hoodies, and pajamas. Which im completely okay with since its super adorable. We wrestle around a lot and end up hurting each other. Dysfunctional Much. Her parents really like me, and treat me like family.

...never mind. :lol:

Good for you bud! 👍
 
My girlfriend (I've been dating for 7 months now) is also pretty insecure. She says I'm a dream come true and I'm too handsome for her. Bull:censored: if you ask me. I can only see her once a week, beacuse I'm studying in another city. Truth is we love eachother, a lot. It's a shame that I can't spend more time with her...
 
It's been a while since I've made a regrettable post on GTP (I count at least a week or so), so why not open up about something personal? I guess this forum is a decent mix of anonymity and being able to relate to other people. It's better than just letting it stew in my head, I guess.

So, I'm a guy, 17 years old (18 in April), from the UK. When it comes to relationships, I've never been in a serious or even semi-serious relationship. I had one around a year and a half ago but I don't really count that one as I simply didn't have any emotions for her. I view it as a mistake and while I still talk to this girl as a friend, I still feel guilty about hurting her feelings by essentially lying to her. But anyway, my views on relationships are fairly cynical anyway as the ones my family members have with other people usually never work out and besides, I thought I could be fairly happy by myself. There were a few lonely nights, but otherwise I was fine on my own. As long as I just had fun and focused on my life, everything would go fine.

That was until around May last year, when I was told that I wouldn't be accepted onto the college course I so desperately wanted to go on. That was an extremely bitter pill to swallow and while I won't talk about it in depth now (I'll probably tell that story later in the depression thread or something), it means I'm now doing A levels which I'm fairly happy with, mainly because I met this girl in my history class late last year and while I feel stupid for saying or even thinking this, I think I do genuinely like her.

We've been talking pretty much every day since late November and I've met up outside of college with her once on New Year's Eve, which I really enjoyed even though we just looked around charity shops for the whole day. I have wanted to organise something else ever since though and I am seriously struggling for ideas for what to do and - this is probably the most important part - I'm just too scared to say anything about it. The reason why I mentioned not getting onto that course last year was because it's had a really adverse effect on my confidence around people and my own creative work and while I just thought it was me being, for the lack of a better word, autistic*, I realise that I've become much more anxious about everything. I feel like I've failed myself on my dream career and I desperately don't want to mess things up even further. The closest I've ever got to telling her how I feel about her is saying that talking to her is the highlight of my day.

The last week has been fairly hard for me as while everything's gone fairly well at college, I've been seeing her again just around the place and I haven't really spoken to her. Whenever I've tried to, she's been with friends or she's been busy and I've just looked awkward as we look at each other and don't say anything. It makes me feel absolutely awful when I know that I could be talking to her and I start to feel awful for things I know shouldn't make me feel this way. Even when I do talk to her, I sometimes feel like I've said something too personal or that I'm just talking about myself too much and that makes me feel awful too. I get myself in a terrible mood just by thinking about her sometimes, yet most of the time, I feel incredibly happy when I think about her. I want to tell her all about this and yet, I'm typing it up on here.

The fact that Valentine's Day is fast approaching as well is worrying me sick as well, as I'm having many a sleepless night thinking about how the day will be gut-wrenchingly sad if I don't say anything or terribly awkward if I do say anything. I know that I need to do something about it fairly soon as my previous thoughts about leaving it until the summer are just part of this cowardly attitude I've had for a while now and I desperately need to not let that side of me rule my life. I've been telling myself that I'll ask her if she wants to go to the cinema with me, since she knows I go there a lot anyway, but I need to wait for the right moment. Hopefully, that moment will come fairly soon or maybe, I just need to make the moment myself...

TL;DR: Might have found my first love, but I'm too scared to do anything about it. HELP!

OK, so that was a lot of text. Probably too much. Just had some things I needed to get off my mind. If you've read this all the way through, I've got no idea why you did but thanks anyway.

*I am autistic, by the way. I've learned to control it more over the past few years but I still feel it's fairly evident that I have it to most people. It's a weird place where I feel like I shouldn't be hanging out with the more severe kids but I'm not 'normal' enough to be with 'normal' people. This is probably another essay for another thread, though.
 
I literally cannot believe my luck.

There's this girl at work that I really like. It all started about 3 weeks ago, there was a huge snowstorm outside so her parents didn't let her use the car, and she asked me if I could give her a ride home. Now I liked her before that, but we never really spoke to each other, and there were plenty of other people at work that she knew far better that she could have asked, so it kind of caught me off guard. Since then we've been chatting almost every time we worked together, and I was seeing a lot of positive signs. She'd always talk with me with a slight awkwardness in her voice, she would drop me random smiles, etc.

I had promised to myself that I would ask her out before the end of January, so I was planning on making a move next week. But lately, I've been seeing a lot of worrying stuff on her FB page. Status updates of her "feeling happy" while hanging out with some random dude, smilies posted on pictures of said dude, etc. At the same time, the "signs" I've been seeing from her (the awkwardness, the smiles, etc.) have sort of went away over the past week, as if she has shifted her focus towards something else.

Now it could be that he's just a good friend of hers, and all of this is a coincidence. But if it isn't, then clearly she's more interested in him at this point then me.

Should I just say "🤬 it" and ask her out anyways next week, hoping for a positive response? Or should I take a step back and see what happens?
 
I had promised to myself that I would ask her out before the end of January, so I was planning on making a move next week. But lately, I've been seeing a lot of worrying stuff on her FB page. Status updates of her "feeling happy" while hanging out with some random dude, smilies posted on pictures of said dude, etc. At the same time, the "signs" I've been seeing from her (the awkwardness, the smiles, etc.) have sort of went away over the past week, as if she has shifted her focus towards something else.

Now it could be that he's just a good friend of hers, and all of this is a coincidence. But if it isn't, then clearly she's more interested in him at this point then me.

Should I just say "🤬 it" and ask her out anyways next week, hoping for a positive response? Or should I take a step back and see what happens?
First off, knowing that you have a Facebook, you should understand that there is often miscommunication, especially when it comes to analyzing someone's relationship with another. Just because she is posting things on a guy's Facebook that has smiley faces doesn't exactly mean much.

Don't become protective of her and who she is because you have interest in her.

Secondly, when it comes to making a move with someone with interest in relationship, don't promise yourself anything. You'll just set yourself up for disappointment if something goes wrong. The person may be bad at picking up that you like them, and is just being a genuinely nice person.

Now, after the Facebook snooping, you have an elephant in the room with your thoughts. Did you ever think that she was being nice to you due to you giving her a ride?

I don't want to crush your feelings, but women are humans. Approach it that way to keep yourself from getting burned.

Take some time with her and find out more about who she is, but don't jump the gun. Some girls will reveal that they have boy friends unknowingly. Lastly, don't worry about the other guys she is speaking to.

-----
Anyways, I have been trying to figure out this girl I have been around in multiple classes. She's interesting, and a bit... up close with me. She's athletic with hazel eyes and brown hair. Very pretty.

We'll see.

Also, there's this French girl there. Considering I know a good bit of French, I'm going to kick it with her to see what she's about. We will see about that as well.
 
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First off, knowing that you have a Facebook, you should understand that there is often miscommunication, especially when it comes to analyzing someone's relationship with another. Just because she is posting things on a guy's Facebook that has smiley faces doesn't exactly mean much.

Don't become protective of her and who she is because you have interest in her.

Secondly, when it comes to making a move with someone with interest in relationship, don't promise yourself anything. You'll just set yourself up for disappointment if something goes wrong. The person may be bad at picking up that you like them, and is just being a genuinely nice person.

Now, after the Facebook snooping, you have an elephant in the room with your thoughts. Did you ever think that she was being nice to you due to you giving her a ride?

I don't want to crush your feelings, but women are humans. Approach it that way to keep yourself from getting burned.

Take some time with her and find out more about who she is, but don't jump the gun. Some girls will reveal that they have boy friends unknowingly. Lastly, don't worry about the other guys she is speaking to..

I understand what you're saying.

I tend to be very shy and slow to make a move with women, and it has cost me in the past. And I do like this girl quite a lot and want to do something as soon as possible, however at this point taking it slow is probably the best option.

With that being said I have noticed a change in her attitude around me over the past 2 weeks, and her Facebook posts are pretty telling. So I'm afraid the situation is pretty grim, and I'm already gearing myself up towards moving on. It would be nice to have a definite answer though, might talk one of my buddies at work into just flat out asking her if she has a boyfriend, haha.
 
It would be nice to have a definite answer though, might talk one of my buddies at work into just flat out asking her if she has a boyfriend, haha.
Okay. My brother has done this approach. I haven't, but it's a yes or no answer most of the time. It may put her on the spot, especially since she has held back from speaking to you recently.

Considering this is work, understand that if she says something other than no, you and her will have to do with the awkwardness after the fact, and that can make or break.

I'm not sure on what you should do, but I'd wait a few days in a week to get a feeling on how she is feeling and then asking her out someplace after work. An easy primer "What are your weekend plans?". If she is not busy, mention an activity that you both found out you have in common, and that you'd like to take her out.

It's best to plant that question into an existing conversation like impromptu to make it flow better.

Ex: Do you like racing? Blah blah blah. Do you have any plans? Blah, no. Let me take you out racing blah.

If she decides to decline, brush it off if you can and continue on.
 
She asked me to buy her a 1.2L bottle of coke she said she would pay me for it when we went out for dinner the next night for someones birthday put was she implementing that she would pay for my dinner ? I think I stuffed up this conversation

Transcript of Conversation

Her :
Hey if your in town would u be able to buy me a big coke 1.25? and I pay u when we go out for dinner tomorrow for (Name) bday dinner please Only if your in town smile emoticon.

Me : OK I will buy it no need to pay me for it.

Her : No we all going ok for dinner tomorrow for sarah bday so i pay to back then smile emoticon

Me : I have got you a 1.25L Coke.

Well she never ended up coming for dinner with the other friend because she was sick.

(A few days ago she bought a few a few drink bottles and asked for my opinion of them I said "the purple one suites you" A few days later I saw her wearing purple cloths is this a coincidence or a result of my opinion ?)
 
(A few days ago she bought a few a few drink bottles and asked for my opinion of them I said "the purple one suites you" A few days later I saw her wearing purple cloths is this a coincidence or a result of my opinion ?)

I think she is mentioning that she will pay you back you you both meet up for dinner.

Also, I don't know what you mean about the last part.. It's very hard to understand, sorry.

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I'm still getting mixed feelings when talking to this girl. She wanted to group up with me for a lab today, which I said yes to doing. Right when the teacher mentioned working together, she immediately asked if I wanted to work with her.

She has some of the prettiest eyes I've seen in a while. Anyways, I'm not sure if I'm taking her advancements the right way. Part of me feels like it's nothing, but the other me feels like she's interested, but I'm not sure on what she is interested in.

One funny thing is that I don't even know her name, even though we have talked to each other a good amount. She knows mine, so it feels strange when I try to address her. Next time, I will mention that I don't know her name.
 
I think she is mentioning that she will pay you back you you both meet up for dinner.

Also, I don't know what you mean about the last part.. It's very hard to understand, sorry.

---
I'm still getting mixed feelings when talking to this girl. She wanted to group up with me for a lab today, which I said yes to doing. Right when the teacher mentioned working together, she immediately asked if I wanted to work with her.

She has some of the prettiest eyes I've seen in a while. Anyways, I'm not sure if I'm taking her advancements the right way. Part of me feels like it's nothing, but the other me feels like she's interested, but I'm not sure on what she is interested in.

One funny thing is that I don't even know her name, even though we have talked to each other a good amount. She knows mine, so it feels strange when I try to address her. Next time, I will mention that I don't know her name.

You need to find out her name soon.

When she said she will pay me back I still don't think she meant the bottle of coke because the conversation should of finished with me saying "Ok I will buy it no need to pay me back for it. I don't mind buying stuff for her I don't need the money back anyway if it cost a lot more money then I would ask her to buy me something of equal or same value. I don't want her money. The other day we went to the movies with a friend and her and I was trying to explain something to her when the ads are on and I turned to look at her and it looked like we about to kiss but nothing happened it just felt weird but we never talked about it.
 
Question: Been going out with a girl for a month now, going amazing. We both really see a future in it and I absolutely adore her. She keeps subtly dropping the L bomb in conversation at times, and while I really do like her, and I see myself getting there, i'm not quite there yet.

Do you reckon she will notice this and hoping I will say it back or is it just a slip of the tongue?
 
Do you reckon she will notice this and hoping I will say it back or is it just a slip of the tongue?
It's most-likely a Freudian slip, though that's what she feels about you probably. Honestly, love is a word that is given way too much power. I use it a-lot more than some people, so I guess that's just how I feel. If I like something, I tend to say love from time to time, but some people are deceived by that word.

If you start to withdraw yourself from the relationship due to how you feel, she will probably take it the wrong way.
 
We went to get takeaway for dinner and one of the staff members said "Are you two together ?" She said "Yes". Then she looks at me and kind of screws her face up and then goes back to talking to Me. (I think most women would do this if your not together). The other thing she has been doing is asking me remember things for her.
 
We went to get takeaway for dinner and one of the staff members said "Are you two together ?" She said "Yes". Then she looks at me and kind of screws her face up and then goes back to talking to Me. (I think most women would do this if your not together). The other thing she has been doing is asking me remember things for her.

FFS man, do something already! She's pretty much begging by now.
 
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