The General Relationship Thread

[ProjectWHaT]

Here's my predicament at the moment.

I forget when was the last time I posted here updating my situation and what exactly I said here, so here's a quick recap. I have strong feelings for a girl but I found out she's been going out with a friend.

As some of you may know I've moved away because of family reasons. Before I moved I went to the movies with her. First, we went to see the new mission impossible with her and a couple of friends from our math class (including her boyfriend). We walked around the mall afterwards. She said that we had to hang out one last time before i move when she had to go. Then we went to see the paper towns movie with her and one of her friends (I was the only guy in the theater lol). At that time I thought she knew I had at least some feelings for her. Before she had to go, we hugged and she promised that we'll text everyday and keep in touch etc.

After I moved here, we text like every few days. I see on social media she's hanging out with her boyfriend. I know I can't stop her from that. And I think she deserves him and they're great together. But obviously no matter what I'll be jealous because that's just how people are. School started here (weeks before there) and we talked a bit about school and stuff. Back in New Years, we talked about new years resolutions and she said that she wanted to be happy (cough foreshadowing cough). I asked her how that was going and we talked a bit. Then after a couple weeks school started there. We talked. Before we just to text everyday and as time goes on it starts to slow down, but that's normal and understandable.

One day, I decided that I should probably tell her how I feel about her. Considering I'm a thousand miles away, in a completely different region in the US and there'll be no almost no hope in seeing her in person again. So I said that before she went out with her boyfriend, I really liked her and if she wasn't going out with him, would I have had a chance. She said that she really liked me as a friend and that it would be plausible that she might have liked me rather than him. I was surprised she didn't know that I had feeling since I have asked her to go see a movie a two times before and-- now that I write this, it probably wasn't that obvious. We continue to text every so often but there's definitely an awkward atmosphere between us.

Then on my birthday she wished me a happy birthday and that was about it. As time goes on there's less things to talk about because of this physical separation. It's understandable and its inevitable. I had my mind set on just trying to give up and stop thinking about getting into a relationship.

We don't text for a couple days then out of the blue, she texts me the other day. She says she auctioned for the school's play (there's a play every term and she loves it and she was one is the most important actors last year) and that she thought she wasn't going to get a part. Me, with my heart before my brain, say that she'll do great and I'm 100% sure she'll get a part. Later that night she said that she didn't get a part and thanked me for believing in her.

Afterwards she asks me if she can talk to me about something. Obviously, my mind goes wild, what could it be? I say okay sure. She tells me how she's been feeling bad since last year (which is very surprising, because she is the most cheerful, happy, friendly, nice person I've ever met. She's literally friends with everyone) so me being me, I comfort her.

So now I'm thinking, what am I to her and where is this going? I'm 100% okay with being "friend zoned", whatever that means. Where do I want this to go? I mean it'll be great to be in a relationship with her but logistically, long distance isn't ideal and I'd hate for her to break up with her boyfriend. I've known him since elementary school; he's a great, intelligent guy. It'll be awkward for them in school. From my pessimistic point of view, this'll probably go no where and I'll just feel worse about things considering how my luck is. Ultimately, I want her to be happy.

I'm done venting. Wow that was long.

 

[Team THRT Drift]

@ProjectWHaT

Sounds like you're someone she trusts. A close, if not, best friend. Regarding your question about the relationship, you already answered it; you can't be in one with her.

 

[TVR27]

After about two days shes back to asking her normal questions what are your plans for tonight ? Do I have to ask her out for lunch or something I don't get what she wants ?

 

[Turbo_snail]

I'm back, and confused so after a relationship with an amazing girl, that I'd built up a great friendship and relationship with, I got dumped, hard. She cut of all friendships with her and I was left hurt. I was rebuilding and had a small crush, but got friendzoned on that one, which I was content with. And then it gets complicated. My ex's friend messages me and says her and my ex have an argument and are no longer friends. So this girl is really nice and all but, she has bipolar and many have issues, and is known as a bit of a "hoe". So I know its bad when I start catching feelings for her. So now I'm sitting in class talking about it to someone and the person is going on a cruise with an ex. Now I'm thinking about her and she has an older boyfriend and they don't work together but I still feel hopeless

 

[Kitten]

Uhm. So i was hanging out with well a best friend, we've became friends the beginning of the semester. And over the weeks we've been getting closer.. Until Monday came, she slipped her hand in my mine, and she offered to walk me to my Pre-Calc class which is across campus. And just before i entered class i turned and looked at her, and we kissed. Oops. And on the other oops, she has a bf. So technically speaking shes cheating on her boyfriend, but she's at the point of breaking up with him since he's abusive, and changed so much, according to what she told me. And over this week we would be getting closer, and kissing more often. I dont even know. And she actually took my hoodie to since it smells fantastic according to her. And she loves to cuddle and play with my hair, apparently its cats soft, and last week we cuddled, and she took a nap on me lol. Actually we've been cuddling everyday. She quite really likes me, and she thanks me quite alot for being there for her, and making her positive. As a child she has Leukemia, very sick. And she often does text me saying she feels useless etc. Which i dont accept that, so i do my best to comfort her, and make her feel better, and in the morning, she runs up and hugs me tightly. And she told her she feels safe with me.

God Kitten. The hell you doing. So complicated.

 

[TVR27]

Her : I could sleep on this couch

Me : You always say that.

Did she deliberately fall asleep on the couch and why would she do this when I'm in the lounge room ? (I was sitting on the chair next to the couch)

 

[CinnamonOD]

There's this classmate who has a crush on me (her closer friends have told me), I don't, she's nice and all but I'm not attracted, we get to talk everyday because she works close to where I live and I take her there.

She's getting flirtier everyday.

How can I tell her that I don't like her, without hurting her feelings and keeping her as a really good friend?

I usually don't need help, but the "guru" as some friends refer to me when it comes to relationship advising will eventually need help. That time is now.

Anyone?

 

[Cale]

Call her "dude" or "bro"


She'll get the point.

 

[CinnamonOD]

I do, but she does not get it.

She is very innocent, sometimes (like, almost all the time) we have to explain her the jokes and puns we say, go figure.

 

[Cale]

Hmm. Could it be possible she acts like she doesn't know around you so you have to explain it to her?

Also "How can I tell her that I don't like her, without hurting her feelings and keeping her as a really good friend?"

This may not be possible, no matter how you break the news to her. That last part is up to her; not you.

 

[Team THRT Drift]

There's this classmate who has a crush on me (her closer friends have told me), I don't, she's nice and all but I'm not attracted, we get to talk everyday because she works close to where I live and I take her there.

She's getting flirtier everyday.

How can I tell her that I don't like her, without hurting her feelings and keeping her as a really good friend?

I usually don't need help, but the "guru" as some friends refer to me when it comes to relationship advising will eventually need help. That time is now.

Anyone?

"You're like the sister I never had." <-- I've used this quite a lot, and usually the girls stick around and we become even closer friends, as it takes the edge off. Now the atmosphere is clear, it's not awkward, and we can function properly.

Like @Cale said, there is no easy, harmless way to break it to a chick who's into you. It's going to hurt no matter what, but don't drag it out too long. How do you take off a band-aid? *harsh, and primitive analogy, but that's how it is*

 

[Cale]

Nice^

 

[GTboyz]

that moment when an off-topic thread is soo good, you forget you're in a forum for a racing game.

 

[Johnnypenso]

Here's my predicament at the moment.

I forget when was the last time I posted here updating my situation and what exactly I said here, so here's a quick recap. I have strong feelings for a girl but I found out she's been going out with a friend.

As some of you may know I've moved away because of family reasons. Before I moved I went to the movies with her. First, we went to see the new mission impossible with her and a couple of friends from our math class (including her boyfriend). We walked around the mall afterwards. She said that we had to hang out one last time before i move when she had to go. Then we went to see the paper towns movie with her and one of her friends (I was the only guy in the theater lol). At that time I thought she knew I had at least some feelings for her. Before she had to go, we hugged and she promised that we'll text everyday and keep in touch etc.

After I moved here, we text like every few days. I see on social media she's hanging out with her boyfriend. I know I can't stop her from that. And I think she deserves him and they're great together. But obviously no matter what I'll be jealous because that's just how people are. School started here (weeks before there) and we talked a bit about school and stuff. Back in New Years, we talked about new years resolutions and she said that she wanted to be happy (cough foreshadowing cough). I asked her how that was going and we talked a bit. Then after a couple weeks school started there. We talked. Before we just to text everyday and as time goes on it starts to slow down, but that's normal and understandable.

One day, I decided that I should probably tell her how I feel about her. Considering I'm a thousand miles away, in a completely different region in the US and there'll be no almost no hope in seeing her in person again. So I said that before she went out with her boyfriend, I really liked her and if she wasn't going out with him, would I have had a chance. She said that she really liked me as a friend and that it would be plausible that she might have liked me rather than him. I was surprised she didn't know that I had feeling since I have asked her to go see a movie a two times before and-- now that I write this, it probably wasn't that obvious. We continue to text every so often but there's definitely an awkward atmosphere between us.

Then on my birthday she wished me a happy birthday and that was about it. As time goes on there's less things to talk about because of this physical separation. It's understandable and its inevitable. I had my mind set on just trying to give up and stop thinking about getting into a relationship.

We don't text for a couple days then out of the blue, she texts me the other day. She says she auctioned for the school's play (there's a play every term and she loves it and she was one is the most important actors last year) and that she thought she wasn't going to get a part. Me, with my heart before my brain, say that she'll do great and I'm 100% sure she'll get a part. Later that night she said that she didn't get a part and thanked me for believing in her.

Afterwards she asks me if she can talk to me about something. Obviously, my mind goes wild, what could it be? I say okay sure. She tells me how she's been feeling bad since last year (which is very surprising, because she is the most cheerful, happy, friendly, nice person I've ever met. She's literally friends with everyone) so me being me, I comfort her.

So now I'm thinking, what am I to her and where is this going? I'm 100% okay with being "friend zoned", whatever that means. Where do I want this to go? I mean it'll be great to be in a relationship with her but logistically, long distance isn't ideal and I'd hate for her to break up with her boyfriend. I've known him since elementary school; he's a great, intelligent guy. It'll be awkward for them in school. From my pessimistic point of view, this'll probably go no where and I'll just feel worse about things considering how my luck is. Ultimately, I want her to be happy.

I'm done venting. Wow that was long.

She has a boyfriend whom you've known since public school and he's a great guy. She's 1000 miles away. Look for something closer to home, like in the same town.

After about two days shes back to asking her normal questions what are your plans for tonight ? Do I have to ask her out for lunch or something I don't get what she wants ?

Try to figure out what you want and then go for it. If she wants the same thing as you, she's yours. If she doesn't, you're in the same boat you're in right now and no further behind. Win/win.

Uhm. So i was hanging out with well a best friend, we've became friends the beginning of the semester. And over the weeks we've been getting closer.. Until Monday came, she slipped her hand in my mine, and she offered to walk me to my Pre-Calc class which is across campus. And just before i entered class i turned and looked at her, and we kissed. Oops. And on the other oops, she has a bf. So technically speaking shes cheating on her boyfriend, but she's at the point of breaking up with him since he's abusive, and changed so much, according to what she told me. And over this week we would be getting closer, and kissing more often. I dont even know. And she actually took my hoodie to since it smells fantastic according to her. And she loves to cuddle and play with my hair, apparently its cats soft, and last week we cuddled, and she took a nap on me lol. Actually we've been cuddling everyday. She quite really likes me, and she thanks me quite alot for being there for her, and making her positive. As a child she has Leukemia, very sick. And she often does text me saying she feels useless etc. Which i dont accept that, so i do my best to comfort her, and make her feel better, and in the morning, she runs up and hugs me tightly. And she told her she feels safe with me.

God Kitten. The hell you doing. So complicated.

Right now, you're the "other man". If you really like her, have a serious talk with her and ask her to "fish or cut bait". If you are unhappy with your boyfriend, end it and we can date, but until then, no more kissy kissy. Just remember though, she cheated on her boyfriend to be with you and it will haunt you later and likely make you question some of her future associations and where she spends her time when she's not with you or when things are rocky.

 

[Cale]

. Just remember though, she cheated on her boyfriend to be with you and it will haunt you later and likely make you question some of her future associations and where she spends her time when she's not with you or when things are rocky.

You lose 'em the way you got 'em. 👍

 

[Kitten]

She has a boyfriend whom you've known since public school and he's a great guy. She's 1000 miles away. Look for something closer to home, like in the same town.


Try to figure out what you want and then go for it. If she wants the same thing as you, she's yours. If she doesn't, you're in the same boat you're in right now and no further behind. Win/win.

Right now, you're the "other man". If you really like her, have a serious talk with her and ask her to "fish or cut bait". If you are unhappy with your boyfriend, end it and we can date, but until then, no more kissy kissy. Just remember though, she cheated on her boyfriend to be with you and it will haunt you later and likely make you question some of her future associations and where she spends her time when she's not with you or when things are rocky.

Acctually they broke up two weeks ago, and i wasnt the cause of it. Maybe i made it worst but anyway. Now shes badly depressed. Since one or my old friends who hates me m now, is talking **** about her to her boyfriend and then her boyfriend is best friends with now her ex now, and hes believing all of it and hates her. Its been heck of a weekend, and last week. We've not been talking much, since she hasnt been talking to anyone. Heck i learned he cheates on her a couple of times when they were together last friday. I really dont know what the situation, shes told me that she really loves me, but st the same time shes super scared that im gonna leave, or hurt her. Because she got raped once when she was drunk 12th grade, and got abused a couple of time.. She really sensitive, and emotional.

Ive talked to her mutliple times about it when tbey were dating btw.

 

[phillgt2002]

Dude, are you in highschool?

 

[Kitten]

Dude, are you in highschool?

Dude this is college

On another note, i think our friendship just collapsed today, after my class she didnt even look at me, nor say hi, hey, or bye when she left to go home. She always says bye and hugs me before she leaves. oh dear. This day hasnt been good.

 

[phillgt2002]

Dude this is college

Yeesh, I thought me having trouble with gals our age was me realizing that I have problems. I've lost patience, but if they want to throw bedroom eyes my way, then so be it.

Good luck with your hormone slinging friend.

 

[Speedy Samurai]

Acctually they broke up two weeks ago, and i wasnt the cause of it. Maybe i made it worst but anyway. Now shes badly depressed. Since one or my old friends who hates me m now, is talking **** about her to her boyfriend and then her boyfriend is best friends with now her ex now, and hes believing all of it and hates her. Its been heck of a weekend, and last week. We've not been talking much, since she hasnt been talking to anyone. Heck i learned he cheates on her a couple of times when they were together last friday. I really dont know what the situation, shes told me that she really loves me, but st the same time shes super scared that im gonna leave, or hurt her. Because she got raped once when she was drunk 12th grade, and got abused a couple of time.. She really sensitive, and emotional.

Ive talked to her mutliple times about it when tbey were dating btw.

If you care about her at all, the best thing you can do is just be a friend to her because it sure sounds like she needs one. If you want anything more than that prepare for all her baggage to become yours. Rarely is it ever worth taking on this type of burden.

 

[Kitten]

If you care about her at all, the best thing you can do is just be a friend to her because it sure sounds like she needs one. If you want anything more than that prepare for all her baggage to become yours. Rarely is it ever worth taking on this type of burden.

Im really unsure at the moment to be honest, i really don't know where our friendship stands, a couple of my friends told me to stay away from her, she's using me, another said dont get into her live, but everything happened quite quickly, like it wasn't supposed to happen, but it did. . On another note. She texted me this today.


"It was nice at first but then i just started tofeel unhappy with myself, its all okay, i promise."
But as i stated above.

On another note, i think our friendship just collapsed today, after my class she didnt even look at me, nor say hi, hey, or bye when she left to go home. She always says bye and hugs me before she leaves. oh dear. This day hasnt been good.

So now everything is a mess, im confused, she doesn't want to talk to me after that. So. This will be quite interesting.

 

[TVR27]

Going to see a film with her on Tuesday.

 

[Michelin]

I posted this on the Infield Relationship thread, but some of you might have noticed my post two weeks back about being friend zoned... well, guess I'll post it here too:

Guess I'll tell a bit of my situation:

Back in March I met this cute girl on the bus. We talked a bit, I asked her to add me on FB and we talked a bit longer there. Well, she studies on the school where I used to study, which is literally 200m away from my apartment.

We didn't talk for 3 months until the end of June. A party happened at this school and I attended with some friends that graduated with me (me and my friends graduated in 2013 from high school). I was buying something when I found her there hanging around with some friends. We talked a bit and went separate ways. At night, I texted her on FB, she answered and asked for my number (o.O), gave her and we started texting each other through WhatsApp.

Long story short, we have been talking every single day, from 10AM to 3AM since June 27th We went out twice and are going out again on Saturday. We're taking one step at a time, don't want to rush anything, but we pretty much already said we like each other and wouldn't mind to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend later on, but still we are in no rush to do that.

It's nice to be in love and know that the other person feels the same about you, it's a feeling I've never experienced before.

Only issue is religion, where she believes in God a lot (she's portestant, this is me going by translate, I don't know the names of religions in english '-') while I didn't believe until few months ago and ultimately been questioning this a lot (thanks to her as well).

Well, I guess this is all I have to say... we might have a Mrs. Michelin in a few months time. (ok, that's pushing it, I know. )

Well, remember this?

Her words as of Wednesday (09/23):

"I liked, really liked you, it just didn't became love or passion.."
"I want to keep you as my friend, be able to be an idiot around you and maintain this until it's possible."

Not a nice way to start a Wednesday (received the news at 8AM) but oh, well.

 

[CinnamonOD]

Well, you're done, but you can try and give it a small little push...

I have to add that there would be a Mrs. AJ is she wasn't a JW.

As for my situation..
I directly told her (not would be Mrs. AJ) that I don't like her, she said that it is ok, but now she became too distant..

Victory?

 

[Johnnypenso]

Im really unsure at the moment to be honest, i really don't know where our friendship stands, a couple of my friends told me to stay away from her, she's using me, another said dont get into her live, but everything happened quite quickly, like it wasn't supposed to happen, but it did. . On another note. She texted me this today.
"It was nice at first but then i just started tofeel unhappy with myself, its all okay, i promise."
But as i stated above.
So now everything is a mess, im confused, she doesn't want to talk to me after that. So. This will be quite interesting.

Best advice...just let it go. You can waste a lot of time and energy chasing needy, confused women and it's just that - a waste of time. I'd have texted her back and said, "Hey no problem, do what you gotta do, if you need to talk you know where to find me". Then just move along. It sounds like she needs a friend more than a lover anyway. If she wants you, as a friend or otherwise, you'll know.

I posted this on the Infield Relationship thread, but some of you might have noticed my post two weeks back about being friend zoned... well, guess I'll post it here too:

I have to confess I didn't understand this part:

We're taking one step at a time, don't want to rush anything, but we pretty much already said we like each other and wouldn't mind to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend later on, but still we are in no rush to do that.

It's nice to be in love and know that the other person feels the same about you, it's a feeling I've never experienced before.

Well, I guess this is all I have to say... we might have a Mrs. Michelin in a few months time. (ok, that's pushing it, I know. )

Not rushing into it means you aren't in love after a couple of dates and thinking about Mrs. Michelin. It's possible she sensed that you were moving way too fast and decided to back off before some serious hurting happened. If you really don't want to go too fast you have to act and believe the part. Women can sense these things a mile away no matter how clever you think you are about it.

 

[Kitten]

Best advice...just let it go. You can waste a lot of time and energy chasing needy, confused women and it's just that - a waste of time. I'd have texted her back and said, "Hey no problem, do what you gotta do, if you need to talk you know where to find me". Then just move along. It sounds like she needs a friend more than a lover anyway. If she wants you, as a friend or otherwise, you'll know.

Long story short, we are not friends anymore. I would write like an essay on what happened yesterday, but i wouldnt bother. Its the past, time to move on kitten.

 

[Team THRT Drift]

Regarding the past couple of posts.. or pages.

 

[Michelin]

I have to confess I didn't understand this part:

Not rushing into it means you aren't in love after a couple of dates and thinking about Mrs. Michelin. It's possible she sensed that you were moving way too fast and decided to back off before some serious hurting happened. If you really don't want to go too fast you have to act and believe the part. Women can sense these things a mile away no matter how clever you think you are about it.

Basically what she said is that she felt something real at the start, but it later it started to fade away... so that was when she was feeling something real, so normally woman like to imagine things up in the front and she said she had saw us as a couple and other things, but both me and her had agreed we would let time it roll... and things didn't go exactly as we thought...

I might have moved a bit too fast, looking back on some of my actions. But I was real to what I felt 110% of time so it is what it is. I can't lie and say I've already moved on, my mind likes to play tricks on me and I catch myself remembering some things, but it's getting better.

I don't know if it made it sense to you haha

 

[GTPVenomZombie]

Anybody give me any advice on how to deal with somebody who has bi-polar? My girlfriend`s bi-polar is getting too much for me now, but I`m never going to give up on her.. I just want to know how to deal with it without getting hurt

 

[Team THRT Drift]

Anybody give me any advice on how to deal with somebody who has bi-polar? My girlfriend`s bi-polar is getting too much for me now, but I`m never going to give up on her.. I just want to know how to deal with it without getting hurt

Well bi-polarism has different spectras and usually has set ranges for eqch person. It's not a flip of a switch and voila she hates everything. Usually a month. From joy to depression, etc. Varies for each person. Just figure out what that time interval is, and if she is on medication make sure she doesn't miss one as it helps.

Bi-polar is a difficult condition, but all you can do is be positive and always be there for her. You have to understand that she doesn't go through this voluntarily. It just happens.

When she's manic, watch your wording. Listen to her. She most likely wont let you speak during either a panic attack, or fit but be there for her and be strong.

It's sad to say this, but when your girl is manic, she isn't the same person. Be careful with what you say, be supportive. Don't let words get to you, just push through the session.



Educate yourself on her condition. Sit with her in therapy sessions, talk to her psychiatrist, do some reasearch to better understand her condition.