The General Relationship Thread

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Hey guys, I'm back! Anyways, I just wanted to say that, as I'm reading this stuff, it's helping me draw conclusions that even though I really like this girl, I shouldn't get with her. I don't want it to affect my life and school. I don't think I'm ready, no matter how much I think I am. It's hard to fight the urge to become her boyfriend...

But I have been talking to her more now, so you could say we are good friends, but I haven't had a long, steady conversation to her, unless you count online chat...
Any tips on how to get us to talk more? You know, to have a long conversation? I want to get her to feel like she can trust me with anything, because I know that's the closest I can get to what I want. I just want us to feel comfortable around each other.
 
Ok, you do need to realize that the closer you want to get to her & gain her trust over conversations, the deeper you are into the friend zone, correct? She's going to feel like she can trust her friends with anything, not exactly her bf.
 
Ok, you do need to realize that the closer you want to get to her & gain her trust over conversations, the deeper you are into the friend zone, correct? She's going to feel like she can trust her friends with anything, not exactly her bf.

Actually, he's trying to "friendzone" himself. He knows what's best. I admire that.

*Oh and protip: The friendzone doesn't exist.
 
McLaren
Ok, you do need to realize that the closer you want to get to her & gain her trust over conversations, the deeper you are into the friend zone, correct? She's going to feel like she can trust her friends with anything, not exactly her bf.
Yes, I know. I don't think I am ready, no matter how bad I want it... Even if she asked me...
interpunct
Actually, he's trying to "friendzone" himself. He knows what's best. I admire that.

*Oh and protip: The friendzone doesn't exist.

Yes, thank you. I am trying for that. If I can't be with her, I might as well be really close to her. Any ways I can get to know her better?
 
Actually, he's trying to "friendzone" himself. He knows what's best. I admire that.

I know, hence why I said "deeper". The reason I asked is because the closer he becomes just friends with her, the less chance he has of becoming her boyfriend, should he ever change his mind.

*Oh and protip: The friendzone doesn't exist.
You can go ahead & refrain from calling that a "protip" & just agree to disagree.
 
How as in what to talk about or how to spark up a conversation in general? I had met a girl in 8th grade that at the time I didn't know but would eventually fall maddly in love with. From then on up to graduation we always had a class together and we always sat by each other.

At around my sophmore year, I had had enough of feelings twards here because of her relationship paterns. She had previously gone out with a friend of mine and had hear heart broken when she found out that their relation ship was actually a bet he made with his friends.

After, she went out with a guy very similar in personality to the one before that romanced her into a relationship. Flowers, chocolates, typical caring gestures in a reltionship. She got into this relationship a few DAYS after I was already deciding to tell her how I felt. Watched her go out with him, have problems as I figured they would, and brake up. This all unfolded Junior year.

During our senior year, I had started thinking about her more. I knew I still loved her but our life paths seemed to be going in totally different directions. Me being a drug using, low gpa, barely graduate student not set out for much but to get by in life without becoming a broke mess. Her setting her sites on going to a University right after High School. I knew that if I were to tell her about my feelings she either wouldn't feel the same way and I would be heart broken, she would like me but reject me thinking future, or I would pull her down with me which I knew she would not tollerate.

I knew my self it wouldn't be good at all for her to try to advance my status with her. I kept in the friend zone. All I've ever wanted for her is to succeed in life, find someone that will love her with every ounce of their heart as I did, and make her feel like the most important women in the world. I talked to her about any little thing I can think of because I just loved being around her, making her laugh, making her happy.

I feel I have accomplished what I wanted to in the short time I was able to be around her. Always making her smile with a joke here and there. Someone to talk to when she felt like s**t and things weren't going well in here life. Someone to talk her through the pain when things went bad.

To this day I still message her from time to time to check up on her. I don't have the same feelings and butterflies as I did before but there still is one small butterly the hits me everytime I see her. Her happiness is what was my main goal. Just talking to her on daily baisis in a friendly mannor to ease her mind is how I showed my love for her.

Maybe this may help you in your situation, or maybe this is just me ranting about a lost love. All I'm saying is if it makes her happy, it should make you pleased no matter how tough it is not being with her. Small talk may be cheesy, but it works. Many small conversations can take you a long way if you play them out right. Don't be shy, act like she is one of your friends and talk to her about something simple. Ok I'm going to stop typing before I talk about more my life that doesn't matter haha.
 
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Well I am 15. I was with someone for six years and we broke up mid-November. I know it's young love, it never works out, but I'm just strugguling to recover. Where do I go from here?
 
adam46
Well I am 15. I was with someone for six years and we broke up mid-November. I know it's young love, it never works out, but I'm just strugguling to recover. Where do I go from here?

I say do what i'm going to do. Just stay away from it and just get really close to them without being their love.


Thanks lintels. I think that is the best choice, just making her happy is the best way to being close. I do make small talk, but I want to figure out how to hold a little bigger conversation. All I say is hi or see you tomorrow. Do I just say how's it going?
 
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What's made you come to this conclusion? I'm sure in myself that it exists because I've been put it in so many damn times.
Well here is the thing. The "friendzone" is the act of rejection. The truth to the matter is that at least with me, when guys come up to me and talk to me about this, what they are missing is that if someone isn't interested in you, she may have been talking to you as a friend the whole time. Look, I understand that guys have this stereotype about not showing their feelings and what not, but more often than not, when you do like a girl, you go all out. Sometimes, when you are meeting people you just don't want for them to get all mushy and lovey dovey so fast because we are still MEETING each other. And just because we are meeting each other it doesn't mean it will escalate to a serious relationship. Simply because I don't know you. And you don't know me.

This applies of course to when a guy likes this girl who he doesn't know and he tried to get to know her. If you've been friends with the girl for a really long time, then that's something different, none of what I said above applies. But in the end. The friendzone doesn't exist. You either were always her friend or someone she's interested in.

Besides, anyone can become someone of interest. You know, being her friend and she taking interest in you. Thus giving you the opportunity to actually go date her. You just gotta know how to act and what to do at the right moment. Not just throw yourself.
 
What's made you come to this conclusion? I'm sure in myself that it exists because I've been put it in so many damn times.

Me too.



I just so nervous over stupid things. Appearance, the right thing to say, and how I may perform in that special moment.
 
interpunct; I love how you are sorting all us men out with your wisdom :D All read and duly noted by the way.
 
How do I start a conversation? I don't want to sound awkward when I talk.

You could try "the old fashion way"; just walk over to her, and her ask her about something (like the time, current news etc.)... I think that should start the conversarion. It might feel awkward and/or embarrasing, so you should do it, when you feel you're ready.
 
Oh that old killer. The thing is all the girl friends I have now I don't have a clue how I started talking to, I can only remember one instance where I was sat next to a girl (now my best friend) and my friend was sat behind me next to her friend so conversations sort of 'collided'.
 
How do I start a conversation? I don't want to sound awkward when I talk.

Well it all depends in the situation that you're in. I would recommend looking for friends in common. That's the easiest way to start, just make your friend start talking to that person and get in the conversation. Also present yourself, casually of course. If you're too jittery and jumpy you'll just be too obvious and you don't want that. ;)

Just so you know, you could also go forward and just start talking to the person, but it may be awkward and for some people it may just make that person lose complete interest or most of it before even getting to know you. Why? Because you approached them because how they look, so it all depends on how the person perceives that, it may make the person feel flattered, or just weirded out, so keep that in mind. Just saying.

So yeah, your best option? Go with friends in common. It's the most comfortable way to meet someone in my honest opinion. If not? Then you'll have to get witty and figure something out. If you just run up to her and start talking it's the easiest one by far. So pick your poison.
 
I'm fake "proposing" to my GF tommorow morning, since its been a year. I'm doing it with a ring pop :lol: We're complete opposites, but it somehow works out smoothly and amazingly, as it has for a year already. Love her to bits. I'll tell ya how it goes
 
NissanSkylineN1
I'm fake "proposing" to my GF tommorow morning, since its been a year. I'm doing it with a ring pop :lol: We're complete opposites, but it somehow works out smoothly and amazingly, as it has for a year already. Love her to bits. I'll tell ya how it goes

My friend's dad did that. They got married with it :lol:
@interpunct. Yeah, I have a friend that knows her, so that'll work. Thanks!
 
As a former contributor to this thread, I suppose I should post that I've been in a happy relationship for nearly four months now. But it's not a normal relationship - call it a mixture of being a bit desperate and getting tired of not being liked by anyone I was into and not being into anyone that liked me - we met on a dating site. Very similar interests in pretty much everything - we compliment each other really well. She does live far away though, so combine that with both of our very busy college schedules and we haven't been able to meet in person yet. We're getting through it by Skyping...a LOT. I've always maintained that online relationships can work, and I'm putting my money where my mouth is, I guess...but it is a LOT of work. Much more so than the brief in person relationship I was in after high school. I've already told myself that - however few the options locally - if this ends up not working out, I'm not doing another long-distance. But it's working very well so far! There have been a few rough patches, but we've always come out fine.
 
My friend's dad did that. They got married with it :lol:
@interpunct. Yeah, I have a friend that knows her, so that'll work. Thanks!

Just remember to keep it cool, and don't show any interest when talking to her for the first time. Be casual. Not casually awkward. :P

@NissanSkylineN1 That's cute. My ex and I did that once... Well, look where we ended. lol

@DrivingPark, I'm not a fan of long distance relationships. They almost never work out. For me, a big part of a relationship is purely physical. The hugs, the kisses, the hand holding, etc.

But, I wish you the best of luck. Make sure you DO go out and meet her in person one day. :)
 
interpunct
Just remember to keep it cool, and don't show any interest when talking to her for the first time. Be casual. Not casually awkward. :P

Yeah, last time I said hi, she was like, Hi! *insert wiggily fingers*. She's really friendly if you get to know her. I have another friend that knows her, and said that she calls me her "brother", because I'm always there for her. :confused:
 
Yeah, last time I said hi, she was like, Hi! *insert wiggily fingers*. She's really friendly if you get to know her. I have another friend that knows her, and said that she calls me her "brother", because I'm always there for her. :confused:

I don't wish to raise alarm for you. You are no longer being seen as an interest and more of a close friend, I think if you want to let her know you like her then now's a better time than any.
 
👍 Gosh, that is really sweet. Don't ever be bad to her alright? But I'm guessing you won't, after all you proposed to her with a ring pop. :)

It wasn't the real thing (we're only in High School), but it still meant a lot to us. I love her to death, and it would be stupid of me to do anything bad to her. She's an angel and honestly any man's dream of a girl. She's real (as in looks and personality), understanding, caring, compassionate, smart and loving. The best thing is that we're complete opposites, so we pretty much make up for eachother's weaknesses.
 
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