The General Relationship Thread

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I'm a keen rider, it's my thing. If you have something you are equally as keen about doing then crack on with it!

Cold outside? You know riding a bike generates excessive heat, right? I got out in shorts and a t-shirt in winter because after the first few miles that heat gets crazy, and I'm only a slim fellow!

I often though, when I broke up with my first partner, that my life wasn't worth living without her. I expect that may be how you feel?

I took me over a year, one whole ****ing year, of doing absolutely nothing but abusing drink and drugs and wasting my life before I got my act in gear and moved half way across the world. Finally, after all that time spent lifeless, depressed, jobless, drunk and stoned I got my mind off of her and now can think back without feeling any pain.

You know what? These things are sent to challenge us, and, when we make it out the other side, we only become a better, stronger person for it.
 
DarkAvengerZR1
Like ignore her and those kind of stuff? Lol

Sorry, but play her ar her own game is giving me a hard time to really understand it.
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Ok, this is a mix of what I think/did and what the girl I ended up with after using this method told me when we got together/did.

Right now she thinks that she has higher social status than Slash because he told her that he loves her or whatever. He gave her the 'power' (we want what we can't get, as soon as we know we can get it, we lose interest) and because of that she thinks she can talk to him like poop because she can 'afford' to.

The way to change that is to talk to her like poop and return the favour.
By doing this you are artificially raising your social status (talking to a hot or popular girl like you could care less who they are - make them think "Who does this guy think he is? He can't talk to me like that, i'm hot!").

After a while the girl will start questioning whether she really is of higher social status than you - something she really won't want to admit and so will verbally battle with you to defend that status. At this point you don't back down - she will reach the level of frustrated hate that has her talking to her friends about what an ass you are. Because she can't have you (you won't let her talk down to you and dominate you) she will wonder why and see it as a challenge (girls love a good challenge!). You are now someone for her to tame. It has turned into a big game.

How it progresses from here i'm not too sure, as i've only had the one experience of it. In my case, I couldn't be bothered with arguing seriously anymore and so the arguments got a little jokey and more like banter - then one day we were ripping into each other with the most ridiculous lines, right up in each others face and we kissed... which was a little unexpected. Even when we were together we still argued in a jokey way, and that is pretty much how I learned weapons-grade banter. The end.

Of course, this could go the other way and leave you hating each other, but what have you got to lose? She's an ass to you, you're an ass to her - fair's fair.
 
I'm rather slim too. I may try this tomorrow night haha. Life feels worth living, I just feel a lack of completeness in my life if that makes sense. Like I feel there are other things that make liffe interesting and worth it, but to me without her it feels like something is missing from my life and I won't be complete without her in my arms. The moment I can call her mine will be the moment I will be satisfied with what I've accomplished in my life. That will be the moment I feel I can do anything. Like my life would be fullfilled.I hope this makes sense.

I'm in that boat now with the drug abusing. I've been clean for just over a month, but I wasn't ready to admit this to anyone up until a couple weeks ago when I decided that drugs weren't the way to go or were right for me and to make that change. So far so good. I've had days where I will literally just get so bad and hysterical that I just waste my life away. But it's time to get away from that and live a healthier lifestyle.

I can see how that would be true. This is the biggest obstacle amongst the opposuite sex I've ever had. In my life. When I can hold her and look into her eyes and really know for sure she is mine is the day I will be happy. At least that's how I feel now.


@Marina


I think she thinks she is of a higher socail status as well. Shes like one of those "preppy" girls.....but she definitely is not a girly girl shes an outdoorsman as well.Not afraid to get dirty....dirty in multple meanings.
 
I think that if she is outdoors-y and a little less precious than most 'it' girls, talking poop back to her would work. Way less risk of her taking it too seriously and feeling overly-offended.

If you do try it, just be sure to stick to your guns. If she rips you for what you look like, or anything else, she is doing it for a reaction. She wants to find that chink in your armour where she can get to you. You need to be bulletproof, anything she says needs to bounce right off and be followed by something from you. Be so smarmy that you make her feel sick - smug "is that all you've got" grin after she has a pop at you. If you find yourself genuinely laughing at her, excellent.

For example:

(I don't know what you or her look like, so allow me some creative license)

Her: "You're such a skinny 🤬, why don't you 🤬 off?"

You: *smarmy grin* "And you love it, 🤬. Your hair looks less 🤬 today, did you actually wash it for once?"

Her: "Seriously, why can't you just 🤬 off!?"

You: "Aww, you're so cute when you're mad, your makeup-caked face goes red like a freshly smacked ass. I'll catch you later, snookums!" *blow kiss*.

As you can see, it is just ridiculously trollish and condecending, what you say doesn't even have to be true (for example, if she's wearing an expensive jacket, rip into it - ask her if she got it at Goodwill like the rest of her thrift shop wardrobe). Girls are sensitive about the way they look so she'll probably try to defend how she looks/is dressed, which is good because she is justifying herself to you and seeking validation.

Even if it doesn't work, you'll be majorly winding up a girl who dislikes you anyway.
 
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I may try that. Looks like a little progress has been made. I was told she doesn't hate me but she'd rather not talk to me. Exact words.
 
Slashfan
I may try that. Looks like a little progress has been made. I was told she doesn't hate me but she'd rather not talk to me. Exact words.
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She told you that? Did you ask her what she thinks? How did you ask her?
Details, man. It's all in the details.

If she did tell you, i'd totally call her on it:

"Explain to me, why are you such a rude little 🤬? I know you find my awesomeness hard to deal with, but 🤬, please"

Wow, i'm one bad cookie.
 
MarinaDiamandis
She told you that? Did you ask her what she thinks? How did you ask her?
Details, man. It's all in the details.

If she did tell you, i'd totally call her on it:

"Explain to me, why are you such a rude little 🤬? I know you find my awesomeness hard to deal with, but 🤬, please"

Wow, i'm one bad cookie.
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I got the info from one of her best friends. She doesn't ever talk about me though.
 
Slashfan,

You have 2 girls to chose from:

-One that doesn't like you, doesn't appreciate you and doesn't want to be with you. She thinks youre wierd because you freak out when you talk to her. But you love her, with an unrequited love.

OR

- A faithful girlfriend who you've loved for years and loves you and would die to be with you. You love her too.

Who do you think will be better for you in the long run? The girl who isn't comfortable with you? The girl who tries to play hard to get? Or the girl who's faithful and loves you to death?

Think about this man. You've got lots of time with this girl. There's nothing wrong with her. You're gonna risk it all for a girl who doesn't even want to talk to you?

Come on man, you deserve better than her. If I were you, I'd forget that girl and stay with your GF.
 
Speaking from personal experience and from reading the previous posts about being put in "the friend zone". Isn't it ironic that the things that are supposed to help you get out of it are the same reasons that can get you into or pushed back into it? (Helping with a death, best friend left them, boyfriend break ups, shoulder to cry on, stress relievers, being too nice)

So to say if you come on to strong and say up front you want to be more than a friend, you're either clasified as a pig or it just comes off as awkward. But if you're a complete 🤬 to their core feelings then they'll just wind up hating you for being too insensitive...

What I believe though is that everybodys story is different. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship and there shouldn't be. just one that's good enough to last and to give mutual entertainment for both partners equally.
 
I finally admitted to this girl that i liked my feelings for her and the results weren't that better she just became friendlier. But I'm still in tough luck because she's dating someone :/
 
Slashfan
Well I can't let it bottle up anymore so I've got to tell someone about it before I explode with emotions. I'm in quite the situation.
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Are you kidding me?!

How about you break up with your 'distraction' and let her go find someone who won't lust after her best friend then act like it's some victimising hardship they haven't brought on themselves.
 
Dry7123
Speaking from personal experience and from reading the previous posts about being put in "the friend zone". Isn't it ironic that the things that are supposed to help you get out of it are the same reasons that can get you into or pushed back into it? (Helping with a death, best friend left them, boyfriend break ups, shoulder to cry on, stress relievers, being too nice)

So to say if you come on to strong and say up front you want to be more than a friend, you're either clasified as a pig or it just comes off as awkward. But if you're a complete 🤬 to their core feelings then they'll just wind up hating you for being too insensitive...

What I believe though is that everybodys story is different. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship and there shouldn't be. just one that's good enough to last and to give mutual entertainment for both partners equally.
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👍👍👍

With all the friend zone talk, I feel I should mention that while it's very possible to be completely platonic with a member of the opposite sex, that there's also much truth in the saying that it's impossible to be just friends. One of the reasons one side or the other, doesn't matter which, gets awkward after they've been told by a friend that they're secretly admired is because it's almost a dishonest, disrespectful notion. Imagine finding out that your friend has been living a double life, how would that make you feel? Even if it didn't bother you, it would change your view of them. Well, it's the same principal. Most people think, "why didn't they say something earlier, and exactly HOW LONG have they liked me?!" You're obviously putting yourself on the line by revealing to a friend that you like them, but you're also revealing that a friendship the other person has come to rely on isn't what it appears to be.... Most folks can quickly get past this, but some people really feel betrayed or lied to when it's revealed that a good stable friendship has a hidden meaning, another side, an alterior motive. On the flip side, it's true that many, many friendships evolve into romances. But how to get to that point is extremely difficult, usually. If you're the one with the crush, every nuance she or he gives off may seem like hints or flirts or signs to you. You have to look to see if they treat other friends the exact same way they treat you. You have to study their reactions to little hints and signs you give off. So many people may feel like they were led on or teased when their crush doesn't like them back, but they fail to realize that their very desire to romantically be with their friend has jaded and masked their friend's behavior as giving off the right signals to make a move when in reality, they were just being normal friends. Woman are most commonly accused to being teases for this very reason. So when pursuing a friend, it takes 80% hard work in studying the other's behavior and 20% luck!
 
There is this girl I want, who I met last December. And she is a beautiful. She is light skin African American( just like me) and she is so cool. Good personality. Funny. Mature. See each year my family and friends go down to Ocean City,MD at December ever since I was born.. 1996.

So we go down there to shop, chill, have fun. So I first met her last time and she came with her cousins. I'm cool with them and I think they won't care if I date her. Here is the twist she is 20-23 I don't remember its been months. But I confirm in the 20s. I'm 16 now. Gonna turn 17 in August. Here is another thing, I'm a 220 lbs.. 5'5. I'm shorter than her. But here is the thing, I excercise like crazy now. Not then but now! I'm trying loose 75 pounds by December. I dropped processed food and sodas. So hopefully I can do it.

I can run 6.0mph for 3 mins strait.. probably longer if I try harder. I do about half a mile a day. Trying to do 3 1/4 of a mile a day.

Any excercise tips. Oh and my bumps/pimples are almost gone.
 
XS
So many people may feel like they were led on or teased when their crush doesn't like them back, but they fail to realize that their very desire to romantically be with their friend has jaded and masked their friend's behavior as giving off the right signals to make a move when in reality, they were just being normal friends. Woman are most commonly accused to being teases
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THAT'S the thing though. The longtime friend that I just recently liked at the time was playing hard to get and making it seem awkward and actually got mad at me for not trying harder. Then she said I came off as a player and felt under the impression that I say that to all the pretty girls I meet. By the time I was done telling her my feelings were genuine, she had already lost all the interest she had with me...

Lesson learned, I'm happy I didn't fall into a serious relationship with her and I should take it as a blessing in disguise, we still talk from time to time.
 
MarinaDiamandis
Did you ask the friend? If so, by what means? How? Exact words.
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I asked the girl if she hated me and what the deal with her Facebook was.
NissanSkylineN1
Slashfan,

You have 2 girls to chose from:

-One that doesn't like you, doesn't appreciate you and doesn't want to be with you. She thinks youre wierd because you freak out when you talk to her. But you love her, with an unrequited love.

OR

- A faithful girlfriend who you've loved for years and loves you and would die to be with you. You love her too.

Who do you think will be better for you in the long run? The girl who isn't comfortable with you? The girl who tries to play hard to get? Or the girl who's faithful and loves you to death?

Think about this man. You've got lots of time with this girl. There's nothing wrong with her. You're gonna risk it all for a girl who doesn't even want to talk to you?

Come on man, you deserve better than her. If I were you, I'd forget that girl and stay with your GF.
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I know that's what I should do....everyting is just a jumbled mess in my mind.




I did talk to her today. And I was totally calm about it, kept is casual. I was completely cool. Little bit of a tremble but I keept my cool completely. Feelt good talking to her. saoid hi etc and I haven't talked to you in a while kind of thing, what's up.Talked with her and this other kid and then eventually just me and her and we talked about her braces and how her teeth looked great now and then talked about me and my GF and how I need to treat her right, and her and her boyfriend and how he could be an idiot some times. She saids its stable....with a bit of a stutter I guess.

The whole time we talked, there was no direct eye contact period except for maybe a half a second. She kept on twirling the seat belt on the bus over and over and over and kept talking kind of, I don't know, kind of odd like...not herself. Like she was nervous. Buddy of mine told me this body language could be a sign that she likes me. Sure hope so. She said her boyfriend never hit her but has shoved her but yet shes happy...but she kiind of hesitated saying that. But every time she moved her head, which was a lot...she wuoldn't look at me much. it was either all the way one direction or all the other way.

I hope tat all is a good thing....

Then stupid me I ran out of time to talk and couldn't get her number. :/
 
Spent time with my GF and watched The Dictator at her place today. Man, I love her. We took our relationship to a whole another level earlier this week.

@Slash:

I think that if she didn't have a BF already, she would treat you differently... and since you said he treats her like 🤬 , shes afraid to break up?
 
NissanSkylineN1
We took our relationship to a whole another level earlier this week.
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th


I'm guessing 'whole 'nother level' means what I think it does. 👍 ;)
 
SOMEONE HELP!!

I'm in an akward position. There's this one girl who likes me for a fact. She's always staring at me and gets nervous around me and jumbles up her words when she talks to me. She even told her best friend and she told me. And I like her too. The problem is she has a boyfriend and here's where it gets wierd. Her boyfriend is my best friend. I really like her but I don't wanna loose my best friend. What do I do.

Extra details) if I need to choose I'd choose her over my best friend.
 
Suggest a three-way to your friend.

Now, stick with me: since she likes you, she will probably at least consider it. The mere suggestion that she's thinking about it will eventually unsettle your friend enough to break up with her, because every time he's with her he'll think about you having a 3-way with them.
Once he's out, you're in the clear to step in :sly:

















Just in case you didn't guess, I'm not serious :sly: good luck man, if she's really worth it, you're probably going to have to lose the friend.

Also, anyone who gets the reference, I will give an internet cookie :sly:
 
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Slashfan
I know that's what I should do....everyting is just a jumbled mess in my mind.
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You know, stuff like that isn't easy. Thing is, if you're trying to appease two girls at the same time, you'll gonna get yourself into trouble. See, I've been a two-timing bastard and a cheater (and I kinda still am, though I always make sure that, technically, I'm not) when I didn't really cared about a girl and just wanted to get some. That's one thing that really ain't nice to do, but doing so if you've got genuine feeling towards either, let alone both girls, is really... Well, bad. That's something even I haven't done :lol:

The one thing that you really have to keep in mind, though, is that there's a decent risk of losing both of 'em. Overdo it, and you might just end up alone - which, obviously, is the worst possible outcome, but still.

Dabest
SOMEONE HELP!!

I'm in an akward position. There's this one girl who likes me for a fact. She's always staring at me and gets nervous around me and jumbles up her words when she talks to me. She even told her best friend and she told me. And I like her too. The problem is she has a boyfriend and here's where it gets wierd. Her boyfriend is my best friend. I really like her but I don't wanna loose my best friend. What do I do.

Extra details) if I need to choose I'd choose her over my best friend.
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No no no no, no. No. No! Nein, niet, nao, nie!

Do not do that. Honestly, that's a stupid move. I can tell you that much from experience. Girls come and go, such is the way of life. But a real friendship between men is rare and should be treated well. This may sound bromantic, but really, you do not want to put your best friend on the line for a girl. Never.

So, what you should do: Let your best friend and his girlfriend work out whether they're gonna stay together or not. Wait until they've settled that stuff and talk to him afterwards. At least make sure it's okay for him that you're gonna date her.

Also, keep one thing in mind: If she isn't faithful to her current boyfriend and trades him in to be with you, there's every chance she'd pass you up for next guy that comes along. Don't ruin a friendship just for that. Not worth it.
 
Luminis
No no no no, no. No. No! Nein, niet, nao, nie!

Do not do that. Honestly, that's a stupid move. I can tell you that much from experience. Girls come and go, such is the way of life. But a real friendship between men is rare and should be treated well. This may sound bromantic, but really, you do not want to put your best friend on the line for a girl. Never.

So, what you should do: Let your best friend and his girlfriend work out whether they're gonna stay together or not. Wait until they've settled that stuff and talk to him afterwards. At least make sure it's okay for him that you're gonna date her.

Also, keep one thing in mind: If she isn't faithful to her current boyfriend and trades him in to be with you, there's every chance she'd pass you up for next guy that comes along. Don't ruin a friendship just for that. Not worth it.
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In simple words, "Bros over hoes" i mean you'd rather have a friend who will be your friend for years than have a girlfriend that you will only have for months.(maybe years?) And imagine being the guy that will hurt so bad your bestfriend dating your gf...
 

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