Abusive in which way?
If it is what I'm thinking (Overall abusive), she's not so confident on men, that could explain why is she trying to elude you and calls you weird, she knows you're trying to make a move and is making herself looking oblivious of the situation..
How long ago did that relationship ended?
If it's been not so much, you might have to approach her slowly, gain her trust, and give her time and space, if it has been too long, I'm afraid that it is beyond my helping abilities, I'd need to talk with my brother about it
And also what do you mean when you said that she needs to live life? is she timid? not outgoing?, if you're confident and outgoing, that's a point in you favour, in a relationship, women look to fill her fears and cannot's with a person that is able to do what she can't