The Thread About Ponies, Logistics and General Weirdness (And Gilda)TV

[Jim Prower]

Yeah, not working for me either. Makin' revisions, Toro?

 

[Tornado]

It shouldn't be. I just accessed it with the GTP Bronies account without any problem, and I didn't use the GTP Bronies account to upload it.

Its set to be viewable by anyone with the link.

 

[Racedude]

Well, just in case, I just sent the request permission form from GTPBronies and from me.

 

[Tornado]

I re-uploaded the first chapter.

See if that one works.

 

[Jim Prower]

Seems to work now.

EDIT: Okay, first chapter, quite good. Only issue was a minor typo in one of Pinkie's lines, and I can't remember what it was at the moment.

 

[Akira AC]

It works now

 

[Tornado]

Okay. I'll re-upload Chapter 2 as well.


Here it is.



Edit: And, again, ignore the Celestia letter at the end of the second chapter. I still haven't thought of how I want to write it.

 

[Racedude]

2. Because I couldn't think of a horse-based pun for Los Angeles or Hollywood, so I figured Manehattan would work because Manhattan in real life has a large TV presence.

Ponywood? Los Alicornios? It wasn't so hard, I guess. Also, your history is fantastic. The whole "complaining or COMPLAINING?" part made me chuckle. It's very well written to be made in a day and a few revisions.

Congratulations on your first MLP: FiM Fanfic!

 

[Jim Prower]

And that's ch. 2

Well done, man. It's definitely written in the spirit of the show. You've done well.

 

[Tornado]

I tried to work in everything you guys suggested yesterday. I fleshed out some scenes (especially the contestant selection scene), added some more visual gags here and there and made more effort to ponyfy some of the words. I also tweaked a couple of Pinkie's scenes, added a couple more Pinkie gags and generally just added more dialog than what was in the first draft.
I tweaked the scene with Rarity at the ending in order to try to make it flow a bit better, as per Brando-K's suggestion. I'm not sure how well I did, but I think it reads better than it did before.
I also did that "crap my pants rewrite" for a couple scenes when I realized earlier today that Pinkie was also present in the episode after Trixie failed to get rid of the Ursa, so a couple important lines of dialog I had written were contradictory with canon events.

I also went through and added Trixie's illeism (in the three stages based on her emotional state that I mentioned earlier today), which I literally facepalmed when I realized this morning that I had forgot to put it in the story.

Spoiler

I also rewrote a lot of Trixie's thoughts/dialog so she comes off as less of a Super Bitch, because I noted that some of the stuff she did in the first draft was downright cruel and OOC.

I particularly thank akiraacecombat's suggestion of splitting it into two chapters, because there had been a couple of scenes that I greatly pared back because I felt the thing was getting too long for a one-shot.




Also, dat new ending. I got two Pinkie Pie jokes out of it, one of them even being my favorite kind of literary joke (a callback visual gag!), and I think it has a lot more closure than the original one did (though feel free to correct me if you disagree).








Edit: Ha ha! Celebratory avatar.

 

[Minty]

Some Luna troll science.

This is pretty badass.

Wow, this is so hilarious and disturbing at the same time, but I was waiting for it to be made ever since that Clinton interview.

 

[Tornado]

This is pretty badass.

He's another one that I have to wonder how he has time to breathe considering how much crap he draws.

 

[Minty]

1. Love the new avatar.
2. Could I have a link to the original source of that image, it's not listed on the KYM page, and Google reverse image search has failed me this time. Nevermind, found it in the URL.



Also, these videos and images of Dash being an extreme badass are pushing her toward my favorite....good thing she's already in my avatar.

 

[Gravekeeper]

Toronado, your fic is now also queued to be read, along TNTNE and Severing.

In the mean time, have some awesome.

Unfortunately, I know notte the artist.

 

[Minty]

^I love Google reverse image search!
And that picture is awesome.

 

[Wiegert]

I'm looking through the latest draft of 'You Bet Your Flank' and after reading up to page 6, I have to say that the text layout is alot better that it was in the original draft. I don't have time to read chapter 2 at the moment, but I'll try and give it a look tomorrow.


Also, Pinkie does it again:

 

[Tornado]

Toronado, your fic is now also queued to be read

After all of the unintentional similarities everyone here (akiraacecombat especially) keeps finding, that doesn't make me feel any better.

I'm looking through the latest draft of 'You Bet Your Flank' and after reading up to page 6, I have to say that the text layout is alot better that it was in the original draft.

I went through and broke up a lot of the bigger block paragraphs, but it probably has more to do with switching the line spacing to 1.5 rather than single. I must admit that I was getting annoyed with how close everything was together as well.

 

[Minty]

I love this video....I'm not even a huge fan of Angry Birds, but this is awesome.


Anyway, my sister's annoying ass friend should be here in a couple day's, so I should be able to read you're story while they're dragging my parents off to do something I can hopefully get out of.

Anyway, I'm off to bed for the night.

 

[unit-one]

I'm back from work.

Toronado, nice to see a modified version of your story. I'll read it today.

I also tried to write my own fan-fic, but failed miserably.

My greatest respects to all you writers!

 

[Gravekeeper]

After all of the unintentional similarities everyone here (akiraacecombat especially) keeps finding, that doesn't make me feel any better.

Well, if the readers are finding similarities, I'm certain that it's because you and I just view Trixie as a character in a very similar way;

Spoiler

Your detailing of how you're planning on handling Trixie's illeism is nearly spot-on to what I have in mind when writing her. This is a bit of a subtle character detail that's been present for a few chapters now, but I spaced it a little in case you don't want to read the spoiler and find out for yourself:





in TBoTS, there's a specific point where Trixie outright stopped referring to herself as 'Great and Powerful' in speech for the rest of the following chapters.

 

[Rykon Zero]

Well, because I'm insane, I'm going to write up a fan-fic of my own.

WHILE TYING IT INTO MY RACE STORY.

Holy crap, Equestria will not be the same after the Armageddon Van.

 

[Racedude]

Holy crap, Equestria will not be the same after the Armageddon Van.

 

[Apok]

Well, because I'm insane, I'm going to write up a fan-fic of my own.

WHILE TYING IT INTO MY RACE STORY.

Holy crap, Equestria will not be the same after the Armageddon Van.

Oh dear.
Everyone prepare yourselves.

On a unrelated note I am going to Italy for the next 3 days and when I come back I will be suffering from pony withdrawal. Have many many ponies ready.

 

[Rykon Zero]

This is extremely long winded, and has not gotten into MLP yet despite two pages. I have now worked the Armageddon Van into a key plot point, and I feel I should mention I've gotten the crazy idea that the Armageddon Van is liable to be a new Element of Harmony.

 

[Racedude]

Good night, bronies.

 

[MercilessOne]

Also,

Good night bronies.

 

[Rykon Zero]

I will leave you guys off with the sentence where I've stopped writing for now:

"David had time to shed a single tear, before his world became rainbows and a single butterfly."

 

[Sonic ZR1]

👍

 

[Pierced Lead]

Who else here first believed Mr and Mrs. Cake to be Pinkie's parents?

 

[Brend]

Pony thread on GTPlanet? I love you guys.

July 4th can't come soon enough, what's more I'm staying with my Girl cousin whilst it's on so yeah, I have an excuse to watch