J - 2
C - 1
C - 1
AVettel's Thoughts: "Hang on, I need to count how many fingers I have. I must be seeing things; Kimi is smiling!"
B"Look Seb, I found Kimi's smile button!"
C"So this is the 4th time you have ever smiled, Kimi?"
DSeb: Why are you smiling Kimi?
Kimi: I was given Champagne on the podium for once
EVettel: "Do not be so gloomy all the time, Kimi. Here, I'll use the prize money to offer you some of that Russian Vodka you love so much."
(Kimi's smile intensifies)
FSebastian reacts to jives from Kimi and Maurizio about Liverpool's draw with Norwich City by giving them the usual comeback of "5 times mate".
GSeb: You replaced all five batteries in Kimi's back? No wonder he finished on the podium and said more than two words.
HSebastian prepares to show Kimi just how powerful his right hand is just after Kimi, fueled by a truly inhuman amount of alcohol, makes an ill-timed joke about Seb's mother.
IVettel: "By the way, I set up your clutch before start of the Monza."
Räikkönen: "I knew that, so I urinated in your race fuel last night."
Vettel: "Wait, why did my car felt even faster today, then."
Räikkönen: "And what a good night it was."
JSeb: OK this means we sell more Ferraris in Singapore now right; (hand raised) Kimi, who knew your smile was so bright?!
KVettel: "Wait, Kravitz said I was on Kepler 452b?"
Raikkonen: *cracks a smile*
L"And then they re-signed Maldonado!"
M"Let's take these trophies to the McLaren garage to wind up Fernando."
AVettel and Rosberg look at each other in astonishment after Hamilton suggests Rosberg "did Nazi that overtake coming".
BLewis maintains his poker face as Rosberg and Vettel smell the lingering fart in the air.
CLewis in his mind: Now that I didn't get as much TV time as I've used to, how can I be sure if she properly realised that I won. Wait, what if she didn't even notice me during the race. Wait, what if she doesn't even watch the races anymore. What, if she deliberately avoids the races because of me. *Sigh*
Sebastian to Nico: Nicole again?
DIn a completely legitimate move, Lewis subtly shuffles his chair to the side in order to squeeze Nico out of the press conference.
ENico: "Seb, this is not what I meant when I asked you to order a cheeky Nando's for the press conference"
F"Come on Lewis, beans again?"
GThis is not how we use a catheter in Germany.
HHamilton: "It's because I'm black, isn't it?"
INico: The bad guy always wears a black hat Sebastian.
JNico and Seb look for German-language instructions on the new life-like Lewis Hamilton puppet.
KF1 business as usual: Hamilton oblivious to the Germans squaring off just behind him.
LNico: You shouldn't have drunk that champagne, Lewis. I may have added a few... "perfomance-weakening fluids" to the recipe.