Funny/Strange News Stories

[TenEightyOne]

2. Bumbling rozzers tweet "80-year ban" for a dangerous driver, BBC.

In fairness that's the DVLA-sourced PNC record on the screen... but yeah

 

[TenEightyOne]

Part of Kalashnikov's new statue to be replaced due to featuring a german gun rather than a kalashnikov evolution as requested. BBC.

 

[BobK]

2. Bumbling rozzers tweet "80-year ban" for a dangerous driver, BBC.

What does "disqualified" mean in this context? Is it the same as what we in the US call having your driving license suspended?

 

[Famine]

What does "disqualified" mean in this context? Is it the same as what we in the US call having your driving license suspended?

He no longer holds or may hold a valid driving license. At the end of the disqualification period, he must reapply for his license.

 

[Lizard]

What does "disqualified" mean in this context? Is it the same as what we in the US call having your driving license suspended?

He is banned from driving full stop. Upon lifting of the ban he must retake his test.

 

[BobK]

He no longer holds or may hold a valid driving license. At the end of the disqualification period, he must reapply for his license.

He is banned from driving full stop. Upon lifting of the ban he must retake his test.

So the answer to my second question is "yes", except for having to re-take the test. Thank you, gentlemen.

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

Just seen this one its one of them stories that just makes me think why?
http://www.ladbible.com/news/intere...-man-gets-penis-stuck-in-gym-weights-20170917

I thought lifting weights was a good way to get bigger.

 

[UKMikey]

I thought lifting weights was a good way to get bigger.

They'd have to be pretty small weights for him to actually lift them using only that particular limb.

 

[Cowboy]

School bus finds way onto track during US Formula 4 race: https://wtf1.com/post/a-school-bus-somehow-got-onto-the-track-during-a-us-f4-race/

 

[TenEightyOne]

School bus finds way onto track during US Formula 4 race: https://wtf1.com/post/a-school-bus-somehow-got-onto-the-track-during-a-us-f4-race/

Rumours are that the driver beat Palmer in every sector.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Netflix has withdrawn the 35th episode of children's TV show (and Minifam2 favourite) Maya the Bee from its catalogue, as viewers reported a crudely-drawn cock.

And for once, they're actually right...

Spoiler: An image of said cartoon penis in said episode of said cartoon

https://pmcvariety.files.wordpress.com/2017/09/maya-the-bee.jpg

Apologies for the King Willi episode from Studio 100. It was obviously "a very bad joke".

 

[TenEightyOne]

Just caught up with Prescott's extraordinary interview on Good Morning Britain. For those who don't know John Prescott he's a Hullensian who propelled the Labour party to victory after punching a man in the face.

The takeaway moment of this morning's interview was Prescott shouting "seamen all over the ballot paper". I'll add a vid as soon as I have it, but here he is in action.

http://www.digitalspy.com/tv/good-m...rning-britain-john-prescott-heated-interview/

 

[TenEightyOne]

* please delete *

 

[Touring Mars]

The Man With The Golden Bum...

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...ed-smuggle-1kg-gold-in-rectum-colombo-airport

 

[Dotini]

Part of Kalashnikov's new statue to be replaced due to featuring a german gun rather than a kalashnikov evolution as requested. BBC.

Kalashnikov is arguably one of the most significant inventors in history. The AK-47 in the hands of the Vietnamese proved that an effectively armed and motivated people could and did defend their land against the mightiest military on the planet. Statue justified!

 

[TenEightyOne]

Statue justified!

I don't think anybody had commented on that, the story is about the sculptor including the wrong gun in a context where accuracy was of great importance.

 

[Dotini]

I don't think anybody had commented on that, the story is about the sculptor including the wrong gun in a context where accuracy was of great importance.

Yes, the AK-47, represented accurately, is really of the utmost historic and symbolic importance. It is like the Mona Lisa, Sistine Chapel ceiling, or the Cosworth V-8, a high water mark of human achievement on Earth.

 

[UKMikey]

The Man With The Golden Bum...

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...ed-smuggle-1kg-gold-in-rectum-colombo-airport

The linked story to the man smuggling gold bars sounds even more rectally painful.

 

[Famine]

The linked story to the man smuggling gold bars sounds even more rectally painful.

Well, I bet he **** a brick.

 

[Obelisk]

Well, I bet he **** a brick.

Come on, there's no need for brick jokes.

 

[TenEightyOne]

The Man With The Golden Bum...

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...ed-smuggle-1kg-gold-in-rectum-colombo-airport

Gold-ring-er?

 

[UKMikey]

Gold-ring-er?

GoldenBrownEye.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Cities of Gold, in a Sean Connery accent.

 

[TenEightyOne]

Sainsbury's send a gift of chocolate through the post to reward card holders. Many reward card holders are out and end up no gift and a poorly dog. BBC.

 

[JKgo]

Sainsbury's send a gift of chocolate through the post to reward card holders. Many reward card holders are out and end up no gift and a poorly dog. BBC.

...Chocolates are called Green & Black? How fitting, that.

 

[JKgo]

...Ehem. Didn't mean to double post, but here we are.

A peckish donkey allegedly munches on a carrot-coloured McLaren, BBC.

 

[Dotini]

Three-fingered humanoid Peruvian mummies are DNA tested. We know of Cro-Magnon, Neanderthal, Denisovan, and now what?

http://mysteriousuniverse.org/2017/09/dna-test-results-are-in-for-the-3-fingered-peruvian-mummies/

 

[TenEightyOne]

BBC's subtitle machine displays clear bias.

 

[DK]

Someone obviously had money on Liverpool.

 

[UKMikey]